The First Difficult Exchange, Part 2 (Supplement)

After we all returned, the four of us continued our discussion in the group chat, pointing out the strengths, weaknesses, and areas for improvement. My husband kept apologizing to the other woman for not being able to bring her to climax, and we talked about her preferences, positions, and sensitive areas ... But at that moment, my feelings were slowly shifting. It was as if everything they were talking about had nothing to do with me. I even had the illusion that the activity was a threesome , not a swapping. I couldn't help but ask myself, where did I stand?
The group chat was buzzing with excitement, but I couldn't get a word in edgewise. When I finally did share my thoughts, my husband criticized me privately, saying I wasn't respectful enough. I was devastated! "I participated in this event too, why is nobody concerned about my feelings?" They all say such nice things, that the wife's feelings are the most important. Don't I play the role of a wife? Even if a single woman attends the event, they still have to ask, "How did you feel?"
It was a hair's breadth away, and once it started, it was out of control! My emotions completely collapsed. I was dissatisfied and aggrieved. I questioned my husband, "Why did you break our promise and leave me here alone?"; "Are other people's feelings really more important than mine? While you're concerned about others, shouldn't you also ask about my feelings?"; "The ultimate purpose of this exchange is to enhance the passion between us, not to enhance the passion between other couples!"
I'm so confused. For a moment, I didn't even know the true meaning of this exchange! My husband just thinks I'm jealous and being unreasonable, and that it will pass with time. In later conversations, he avoided the main point. The more he avoided it, the more it showed that he was actually upset. In his interactions with the other couple, he was always protecting their partner and the relationship. I know he has ulterior motives, but I don't want to expose them, afraid of getting hurt again!
Every day I'm trying to adjust my mindset, hoping to move on from the pain! Then the other woman's husband dropped another bombshell! He offered to arrange a private meeting between my husband and his wife, to continue what they hadn't been able to achieve that night. I know they still prefer private meetings, relying entirely on imagination; their stimulation comes from "thinking," while ours comes from "seeing"! My husband and I want to engage in activities together, seeking not only physical pleasure but also sensory stimulation. Suddenly, it all became clear! Sexual activity should be based on equality, consistency, and the same direction—two parallel lines. Clearly, there's a fundamental difference in principle! Before, I still held a sliver of hope, thinking it was because we hadn't communicated thoroughly, and even considered doing it one more time to achieve mutual satisfaction. Now, the situation has changed; we're on different paths, so I've decided to give up on this couple. I discussed it with my husband, and he agreed, but his reason for agreeing truly surprised me. He actually thought it was because the other woman's husband hadn't satisfied me, so I didn't want to engage with them anymore. My husband seems to think I'm so superficial. If I were simply seeking physical pleasure, I could keep looking for single men; why go through the trouble of finding a couple ?
The other man's husband later messaged me privately, and it's clear they want to continue with our activities. He reassured me not to put too much pressure on myself, saying my husband's views on dating are correct and they are trustworthy. I also made our stance clear to them—we don't want a one-night stand—and explained in detail what kind of activities we wanted. But I have a feeling he's only thinking about his wife, not himself, completely using himself as a "stepping stone." He only cares about his wife's satisfaction, not his own, which means his mindset is off. If his mindset is off, he could easily find single men; finding a couple is, frankly, "wasting" their time! Sex is about feeling, not just physical intimacy; it requires emotional investment, not just being a "tool." Harmony is only possible when both partners are satisfied! As for me, while I want to be satisfied in all aspects, I also hope my husband is satisfied in all aspects, experiencing excitement and pleasure!
I need to re-evaluate this couple. Are our goals aligned? Can we continue this relationship?

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The First Difficult Exchange, Part 2 (Supplement)

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