If I could go back to thirty

A video of Kang Hua from Zhenjiang has recently gone viral online, along with the previous video of college student Xiaoman and her "godfather." It's made me think a bit. The men in these videos are often ten or even twenty years older than the women. Is it really just about money sometimes? Perhaps some women might think that way. Do some women have a father complex? I certainly do. Thinking back on these videos and considering my own situation, I realize that almost all the men I've been with have been older than me. I guess I do have a slight preference for older men. It's just that I'm getting old. I often wish I could go back to being young, even 30. But that's just wishful thinking. Watching Kang Hua's video... I heard it was a male teacher and a female student, but the female student is no longer at school and has a job. The person who leaked the video is said to be the girl's boyfriend, and there are all sorts of versions of the story. Regardless of the truth, this is negligence; it's been exposed, and her life is ruined. Watching the video reminded me of the time I had with my older brother, which was similar to the one in the video. The feeling of sex was definitely different, especially after marriage and two children. That first affair wasn't just about physical pleasure, but also spiritual joy. I'm a fantasist; ordinary sex no longer satisfies me. I've had different kinds of sex with several men, but now, looking back, they're all in the past, just passersby in my life.

Let me tell you about my situation lately. This pandemic happened so suddenly, and so many things have changed because of it. Xiao Kai went back to his hometown and hasn't returned. The factory isn't doing well either; ours is temporarily closed. I've become quite idle, spending my days watching TV or movies, occasionally reading novels. I often watch TV shows or movies about infidelity, like those about May-December romances, teacher-student relationships, or housewives having affairs. I often fantasize about being the female lead. One show that stands out in my memory is "Addiction," where the story is quite close to reality, especially the parts about the married female doctor and the married designer, although it only happened a few times. The kiss didn't lead to anything physical, and the last chance was missed. The designer needed to leave temporarily and texted the doctor, who went downstairs to find him. Because of the rain, there were no taxis, so the woman ran to the male lead's place. They just brushed past each other for a fleeting moment. What if the male lead had waited another ten minutes? Would they have had a passionate encounter? (A naughty thought). Back in reality, I also long for an encounter with a foundation of love, even if I directed it myself, hehe. Unfortunately, I'm not young anymore. If I could go back to when I was 30, in this era, married with children... I'm determined to find an office job so I can meet a married man 20 years my senior. What would that feel like? Hehe, it sounds wonderful. Speaking of which, let me mention that college student, Xiaoman. I don't know if that older man is her godfather, but seeing that man almost 20 years older than the woman, I couldn't help but imagine myself as Xiaoman while watching the video. It's just a pity it was only a video. I'm sure how they met and how their relationship developed must have been wonderful. My little door hasn't been opened to a strange man in a long time. Thinking back on everything that's happened to me, it seems I'm no longer satisfied. I've revealed my true feelings. I really want an office romance, to do some exciting things in the office. I've been fantasizing a lot, so it's late and my thoughts might be a bit incoherent. I'm just saying whatever comes to mind, so please don't mind, everyone. To be honest, I haven't seen any articles on this forum that make my heart flutter. I added some people recently to share their experiences, but unfortunately, there are all sorts of people. Most of them are just looking for a relationship, or they're just kids. I hate it when people ask where I'm from. Telling me I'm from the north is already the limit; they still want my specific address. It's ridiculous.

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If I could go back to thirty

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