Why would someone genuinely want to be cuckolded?

Why would someone genuinely want to be cuckolded?

A partner's infidelity is almost always associated with pain and humiliation. But there is a group of people who feel extremely excited at the thought of their partner sleeping with someone else. If they could witness it firsthand, they might even participate in the orgasm. These are what we call "NTR enthusiasts."

Evolutionary psychology suggests that in order to effectively pass on their genes, men and women need to cooperate with each other and both fear betrayal. They have developed contractual marriage institutions to maintain a more stable cooperative relationship.

However, the existence of NTR enthusiasts seems to contradict evolutionary psychology theories. NTR is an abbreviation of the Japanese word "寝取られ" (NeTo Ra Re), which, colloquially, refers to a partner having sexual relations with another person. NTR enthusiasts have a so-called "cuckoldry complex," where fantasizing about or witnessing their partner having relations with someone else gives them sexual pleasure. This psychology differs from the general public and evolutionary psychology theories; why aren't they afraid of being betrayed, but rather enjoy it?

We first collected and summarized analyses of NTR enthusiasts themselves and others' analyses of NTR enthusiasts online (standing on the shoulders of giants), and then tried to use existing psychological theories to conduct some simple analyses:

First, there's the psychology of voyeurism. Do you remember the pair of eyes hidden behind the window in Hitchcock's film "Rear Window"? The protagonist derived a unique pleasure and satisfaction from peeping.

Voyeurism is indeed a psychological concept, referring to the deriving sexual pleasure from watching others' naked bodies or sexual acts. The cuckoldry complex is also based on this. However, there is a difference: compared to voyeurism, NTR enthusiasts have a very specific preference for their voyeuristic targets—it must be their partner or other people. The reasons for this can be further categorized as follows:

1. Masochistic tendencies.

Let's digress for a moment: How many of our fans love spicy food? Spiciness isn't actually a taste, but a sensation of pain—the neural pathways for spiciness are the same as those for pain.

A Norwegian study found that when pain first begins, the brain regions responsible for pain sensation are activated, leading to the feeling of pain. However, when the pain is not as severe as we imagine, the brain regions responsible for pleasure are activated, leading to the feeling of pleasure. (This may also explain why women's facial expressions during orgasm are similar to their expressions when they are in pain.)

Sometimes, pain and pleasure are indeed difficult to completely separate. Therefore, some NTR enthusiasts' need for betrayal stems from their need for masochism, similar to the submissive (M) in SM. However, while the submissive suffers physically, NTR enthusiasts suffer emotionally. When they witness their partner's intimacy with another, the emotional pain actually amplifies their sexual pleasure—a bittersweet experience.

However, it's important to note that M not only needs physical masochism, but also the pleasure and caresses that follow. Few can endure a relationship consisting solely of masochism, but the tenderness and caresses that follow are like a sweet "poison," leading to addiction. The psychology behind Stockholm syndrome, which many are familiar with, is similar: someone who has been raped, coerced, or beaten finds themselves incredibly grateful and even develops feelings of affection after the other person treats them even slightly kindly.

Extending this to NTR, NTR enthusiasts not only need emotional masochism, but they also need their partners to compensate them out of guilt after cheating, by being more caring, considerate, and gentle, etc. These sweet "poisons" amplify the pleasure of being cuckolded in NTR.

2. Compensation psychology.

As mentioned earlier, NTR enthusiasts' partners develop a compensatory mentality towards NTR after cheating, which enhances the pleasure of NTR enthusiasts.

Conversely, another type of NTR enthusiast derives pleasure from compensatory psychology towards their partner. Compensatory psychology refers to the phenomenon where individuals, when their own physiological or psychological deficiencies prevent them from achieving their goals, resort to other methods to compensate for these deficiencies, thereby alleviating their anxiety and building their self-esteem.

This type of NTR enthusiast usually appears in relationships where the partner is much stronger than themselves. They feel inferior and repressed because they are suppressed by their partners in life; or because of illness or disability, their own sexual ability cannot satisfy their partners, thus generating a compensatory mentality, imagining and hoping for another powerful person to help them conquer their partners.

NTR enthusiasts with this kind of mentality are actually projecting themselves into the person their partner is cheating on. They watch others bring their partners to orgasm, but in their minds, it is actually themselves who bring their partners to orgasm. This sense of projection can also bring them to orgasm.

3. Share selflessly.

Another type of NTR (Netorare) believes they are acting out of a selfless spirit of sharing. They prioritize their partner's pleasure over their own, aiming to give their partner more orgasms. They are happy to be cuckolded, especially when their partner is sexually attractive; the thought of "the person you slept with belongs to me" provides them with satisfaction.

Unlike NTR enthusiasts who have a compensatory mentality, these NTR enthusiasts do not want others to help them conquer their partner. Instead, they want to have sex with their partner after others have sex with their partner. The mentality of "I finally conquered them" makes them feel powerful and gives them a sense of accomplishment.

But you've probably noticed the contradiction in this mentality. This so-called selfless thought, in essence, still treats one's partner as a "possessive" object to be shared, thereby generating sexual pleasure. But in the realm of sex, it's perhaps difficult to apply conventional moral standards to others.

There are various interpretations in academia regarding the causes of this hobby, but perhaps we should ask more questions: Is this source of pleasure, which completely deviates from traditional sexual concepts, a healthy sexual fetish? Or, is it necessary for the pursuit and exploration of "sexual" practices to be "healthy"?

It's difficult for us to give a clear answer to this question today, but perhaps it is precisely this "lack of clarity" that brings more possibilities to our sexual pleasure.

As for those points for which we already have clear answers—that sexual life requires the permission and consent of each partner, that each person's wishes must be respected, and that one should not force or harm another person because of their own sexual needs—these are principles that everyone, regardless of their sexual preferences, should remember and practice.

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Why would someone genuinely want to be cuckolded?

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