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The Secret Story of Little Fish (7) - Impressions of a bygone era, a tragic middle-aged divorced man 

I'm getting married. I didn't expect to get married so soon. I spent a long time choosing my partner; he's the most suitable, definitely not my true love. But there's nothing I can do about it, because a girl can't marry the man she loves most, she can only marry the man who loves her most. The reason, well, adults should know.
You don't know the cost of living until you manage a household, and you don't realize how heavy the pressure of mortgages, car loans, and credit card debt is these days. I'm a typical spendthrift, even though I have a good appearance, it hasn't brought me a kind heart. From childhood to adulthood, men have seen me as completely exposed. No matter how innocent I act, everyone thinks I'm actually promiscuous. This has nothing to do with age, birth, or experience; I don't know why.
Last month, a man found my contact information through a dating platform I'd unintentionally registered on four years ago and pursued me for seven days. I was very honest with him about my upcoming marriage. He was equally honest, telling me that since that was the case, he'd pay me to sleep with me. I asked him if this was a transaction. He told me it was a way for him to compensate for his past lack of courage in pursuing me. I found this interesting and casually mentioned 5000. This man was also quite interesting; he spent another seven days discussing the following issues with me:
1. I've always lived in my own world;
2. Married women are less valuable;
3. I seem like a good girl, but men who have been with me don't feel that way;
4. He has free sex partners, but he wants to spend money on something more upscale, but my asking price exceeded his budget.
In short, I wasn't worth my 5000. His final analysis was that I should be 2500.
Yes, I was just saying it casually; I didn't know how to price a part-time job properly. But this man took it so seriously, and we spent a whole week analyzing and debating it. This persistence actually piqued my interest. Our meeting the next day involved a series of interesting conditions set at the 2500 yuan price point:
1. No meals, no drinks, no secondary expenses; let's get straight to the point.
2. 2000 yuan for four hours in a short-room hotel with him, plus a 500 yuan bonus for unlimited visits.
3. He would choose the location; I would drive to the train station first, pick him up, and then he would take me to the hotel.
4. He would pay for the hotel room, but I would have to use my ID to book it.
The next morning at 9 a.m., I drove around the train station twice before finally picking up this legendary stingy man. He wasn't as aggressive as I'd imagined, and his manner of speaking was completely different from what I'd read online. He also didn't have the domineering CEO image or demeanor I expected. He was just an ordinary middle-aged man, the most ordinary person in the vast sea of people. He was plump, balding, and had all the typical features of a typical middle-aged man. He seemed a little nervous, saying I looked prettier than in photos and videos, and that I was alright.
"So, am I worth 5000 or 2500?" I teased him, placing his hand on my thigh. To my surprise, he blushed immediately, pulled his hand back, and didn't say anything.
"Where are we going? I haven't had breakfast yet. If you won't treat me, I'll treat you." I continued teasing him, looking down at him so he could see my breasts clearly. To my surprise, he blushed even more, looked out the window, and pointed to the KFC across the street, telling me to stop.
"I'll treat you, and I'll go get the money to pay you back." With that, he ran off.
To be honest, my meeting with him this time was purely out of curiosity, not driven by any desire. After meeting him, I didn't have any physical desires or fantasies. So I didn't stop at KFC; I've never liked fast food. I found a Starbucks, ordered him a latte, and got myself an oatmeal tea and two slices of cake, planning to chat before saying goodbye. Gradually, he seemed less nervous than he had been in the car. I briefly learned about his situation:
1. He's just an ordinary office worker with a modest income, enough to support himself, but struggling to support a family, let alone a mistress.
2. He's very realistic. He saw me at a blind date but didn't dare pursue me, thinking I wasn't good enough. He ended up finding a woman with average qualities but whom he felt was suitable, and they had a whirlwind marriage. 3.
The harsher reality is that he and his wife eventually divorced, leaving him with a child under three years old. The child lives with him, making the burden heavy and making it difficult to find a partner.
4. He's divorced and now has strong desires. He can't find a partner in real life, and he's afraid of getting diseases from prostitutes, so he's looking for a lonely married woman, but he's reluctant to spend the money.
Fifthly, he felt that life was just like this, and for a man, fulfilling a past dream was a good thing, so he contacted me again.
We chatted for an hour or so, and I felt he was quite pitiful, even a little pathetic. In this era, he was just like most men, ordinary and unremarkable. He didn't have the ability to live the life he wanted, and he wasn't content to just settle down with any woman and live a normal life. He wanted to have an affair but didn't dare, and he wanted to go to a prostitute but couldn't afford it.
This really wasn't my type. So I said to him, "Let me take you home after you finish this coffee. Your income isn't high, you're divorced, and you have a child to raise. If you spend so much money on women, you won't have money for your child's extracurricular classes, kindergarten, and training fees. You might as well use that 2,000 yuan to buy your child some new clothes and toys. I'm a woman of principle; my conditions are in demand, and I don't need to lower myself. You're different; banks and schools won't charge you a penny less because of you."
In the car, he was silent, and we arrived at his house in a few minutes. It was an old, run-down neighborhood with no parking spaces; the car had to be parked sideways on the sidewalk. He sat there, seemingly wanting to speak but hesitant, as if he wanted to say something but didn't dare to.
After a few minutes, I asked him why he wasn't getting out. He suddenly pounced on me, his mouth searching my mouth, his hands grabbing mine, and desperately trying to kiss me. I used my knee to forcefully push his penis away. I asked him what he was doing! He shoved me hard, pulled out his phone, slapped me across the face, and yelled at me, pointing at my selfie: "You slut, still pretending to be a saint. You dress provocatively every day, posting selfies on social media to show off, flirting, and seducing men. Now you've gone too far, flirting with me, treating me like a lapdog! I gave you 2500 yuan, what are you pretending for! I'll give you another 2500 yuan, and I'm going to fuck you today!"
My mind was a blur as he pulled me out of the car, dragged me upstairs, and into his house. As soon as we entered, a marriage certificate was still hanging on the wall on the sofa. Before I could even see it clearly, he had already pinned me down on the sofa. This time, he didn't kiss my lips, but instead licked my neck, ears, and collarbone, his hands grabbing my breasts. Slowly, my body started to react, my abdomen warmed up, and I knew that feeling was coming. I began to respond, touching his penis.
It wasn't big, but it was hard, and I could feel it. The first time it happened was strange; the pain had barely subsided when a warm current entered my lower abdomen. I looked at him, and his face turned red again. My God, he ejaculated prematurely. It seems men, like women, can't suppress their sexual desires; sexual repression can lead to impotence and premature ejaculation. So, we calmed down and stopped. I asked him where the bathroom was; I hadn't brought a change of clothes and needed to shower first.
In the bathroom, I saw his child's toys, a toothbrush, and a towel, but definitely no feminine hygiene products. He knocked on the door from the outside. I thought he wanted to come in to shower, so I opened the door, only to find him already naked. He picked me up and threw me onto the bed. The second, third, fourth time—each time he lasted longer, and each time he used more positions. It wasn't until I was hungry and woke up at 3 PM that he sat on the bed with a bowl of noodles, looking at me.
"You've gone over time; you have to pay extra," I teased him, sitting on him eating my noodles and pressing my hips against his penis. As expected, his face turned red again.
After I finished my noodles, he handed me 2,500 yuan. "I was going to use 500 yuan to book a hotel room, but I saved it up. Here you go. I really can't come up with the 5,000 yuan you asked for. I'm very satisfied with this. Thank you." I looked at him, put the money on the table, put on my clothes, and left the house.
I sat in the car for ten minutes. He didn't get out, and no phone call came in. I picked up my phone, opened WeChat, looked at it for a long time, and finally mustered the courage to send him a smiley face. Just as I was about to type "You're awesome, let's keep in touch," a red exclamation mark appeared before the smiley face. Haha, tears welled up in my eyes. Men, men, really, are all the same. Courage and domineering tendencies often only remain in the stage of heightened passion. After they fade, it's pathetic and lamentable; they still have to submit to the cruelty of life, let alone have any courage left.
Sigh, men are sometimes truly helpless, willing but powerless, resigned to their fate. I went home and thoroughly washed away the stains he left on my stomach and buttocks in the bathroom, then threw my clothes into the trash. Just like this story, it began passionately and ended calmly.
Life leaves everyone naked and exposed to the air, under the direct sunlight, either clean or stained.

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