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My Awakening 10 

Chapter Ten, The Sinful Encounter
With a loud bang, the door slammed shut, snapping me out of my mental turmoil. Mingming was standing opposite me, his teeth clenched, his right hand gripping the football with Johnson's signature tightly. It said William. Johnson's handwriting was blurred by the sweat on his hand. Seeing this, I knew it wouldn't be a solution. So I continued to pretend nothing was wrong, looking at
my son: "Mingming, how old are you? Coming in so clumsily. You scared your mother to death."
Mingming glared at me fiercely and said, "Yes, Mrs. Johnson, you're already part of high society. Were you on the phone with your housekeeper just now? Oh my god. How civilized! Is knocking before entering the door your rule for a poor kid like me? Right?"
Hearing his words, I froze instantly. In that instant, the good child I remembered, who had just been saying "Goodnight, Mom," vanished. Everything seemed like a dream, vanishing in the blink of an eye
. Looking at him, I felt a pang of sadness. But endless regret and humiliation transformed into a sudden outburst of anger.
I yelled, "Get out of here!"
Mingming was stunned for a moment, then pointed at himself and said, "Me, get out? Mom, this is my house, where do you want me to go?..."
Seeing his heartbroken expression, my heart ached. But I managed to suppress the urge to comfort my son. I always believed that as parents, I gave birth to him and raised him, but I owed him nothing. With
a roar of "Ah!" from Mingming, the rugby ball in his hand shattered through the glass with a "bang" and flew out quickly... Then came the barking of the neighbor's dog and the
cursing was about to turn and leave when I finally calmed down, sat down in a chair, and tidied my hair, which had become disheveled from the shock. Then, somewhat helplessly, I said, "Zhang Ming, come back and sit down. Mom has something to talk to you about. After all, you know some things, and maybe you even have a girlfriend. You've heard some things about me, but you don't know the whole story. I'm willing to talk to you frankly today."
After saying this, I glanced at Mingming, who was still pouting, and said, "Okay. Mrs. Johnson."
I couldn't help but smile bitterly at his words. A child is still a child. I wanted to cry like the heroine in a melodramatic TV series, but I couldn't.
I gestured for Mingming to sit next to me, but he sat where I pointed first, then looked at my calm face and poutingly moved his bottom even further away.
Sigh, we're both middle school students, how come Wang Jiahao acts like an adult while he's still a child?
I lit a cigarette, took a light puff, and then exhaled a smoke ring. So I asked, "Son, first I need to make one thing clear to you. I am your father's wife, not yours. I may have betrayed our marriage, but I haven't betrayed you. Do you understand?"
Mingming stared at me, completely dumbfounded. Then he pursed his mouth, which had been wide open in surprise. Finally, he said sullenly, "I don't understand. I know that a woman who betrays her husband is promiscuous. She's cheap."
His words really stung me; my nose suddenly stung, and I almost cried. But I still picked up a tissue and gently wiped my nose, then patiently said, "Oh? Why?"
Mingming still seemed unsatisfied, but he looked at me and knew that his words had hurt me, so he continued somewhat hesitantly, "My dad is out there earning money to support the family, and you're at home living a leisurely life while having an affair. That's wrong."
I smoked, glancing sideways at my son. This shame made me think of Zhang Yuan, that coward
. The smoke from my cigarette kept coming out of my mouth, and Mingming was already getting used to it. Perhaps because I never smoke at home,
I handed Mingming the coffee I had just asked for. He reached out to take it, but seemed a little embarrassed,
so I put the coffee away and continued, "Hmm, it seems you haven't grown up yet. Even though you're so big now, but..."
Mingming said somewhat defiantly, "Yeah, William Johnson is thirty years old, definitely more mature than me. But Mom..."
He stopped there, and I waved the hand that was holding the cigarette, signaling him to stop. I took a sip of coffee and regretted drinking black coffee so late at night, especially since it tasted so bad.
I pursed my lips, gently put the coffee back on the tray, and continued, "Hmm, you're not as mature as Wang Jiahao either."
Upon hearing that name, Mingming couldn't help but curl his lip in disdain and said, "Him? I could beat his whole family to a pulp by myself."
I was utterly helpless. It seemed I hadn't been communicating with my child enough. His coach had actually turned my son into a big, dim-witted fool. Perhaps in his eyes, muscles represent maturity and strength.
I continued, "So, what's your view on marriage?"
Mingming immediately replied, "I've never been married, I don't understand."
His words almost made me laugh, but I felt a pang of helplessness, a bitter taste filling my mouth. It wasn't the kind of indescribable sorrow, but rather the undeniable truth that my son was a bit dim-witted.
I smiled, patted my son's shoulder with the sympathy one might show for a stranger's intelligence, and said, "This kind of thinking might not work in China. If your girlfriend has an affair, if that person is someone you don't like..." "What would you do if someone like Wang Jiahao were on the receiving end? For example, what would you do?"
Mingming: "I would do something to him..."
I continued, "Pee and poop, right? Then the police would come and you'd be arrested. Your dad and I would have to go to jail to pay bail to get you out. Maybe you'd see Wang Jiahao kissing your girlfriend again, and you'd hit him again. Then you'd be prosecuted. Is that the process?"
Mingming said fiercely, "That's still better than being a cuckold."
I continued drinking my coffee, and when I heard him say that, I couldn't help but angrily gulp down the entire cup of black coffee in one go. This made me feel a little uncomfortable, but I still patiently said, "Cuckold, haha. No one can put that cuckold hat on you; only you can put it on yourself."
Mingming looked at me with some doubt, and then said in surprise, "What do you mean? Does Wang Jiahao and my girlfriend really have something going on?"
My God, what kind of weird thinking is this? Looking at him about to rush out... I sighed and continued, "Sit down."
I continued, "Do you think women are private property?"
Mingming paused, wanting to speak but holding back, and said, "I don't understand. You're the teacher, and I'm a bad student. I'm listening."
I continued, "Annie isn't your private property. She's equal to you in terms of personality. Your father and I are the same. He may earn money to support the family, but that doesn't mean I'm his private property."
Mingming: "But my dad does the work while you stay home. Now you're suddenly a rich lady and don't want us anymore? Are you going to give us a sum of money to send us far away?"
I continued, "Where did you hear me called myself a rich lady? Huh?"
Mingming: "You just called yourself Mrs. Johnson. And now you have William Johnson's name written on your butt."
Me: "Become his wife, haha. Look how happy he is. All he's given me is trouble. It's just a name. I'm rich now, but it has nothing to do with him."
Mingming seemed somewhat relieved upon hearing this.
I continued, "My money comes from a club. Although I don't have as much as William Johnson right now, I just signed an agreement guaranteeing my status as a club partner, not as Mrs. Johnson. So you don't need to think of me as the kind of woman who only knows how to marry rich men."
Mingming stared at me in astonishment and asked, "Mom, how much money do you have?"
I replied, "Eighteen million US dollars."
Mingming exclaimed in surprise, "What? That much?"
I said, "Well, if I fulfill my contract in the second quarter, I can get a little more."
Mingming was completely dumbfounded. He stared at me in surprise and then asked, "Why did William Johnson give you that money?"
I said, "That was given by the club."
Mingming: "Oh, why did the club give you so much money?"
Me: "Oh, it's like I inherited it internally. Don't worry, the club has dedicated financial staff to handle my taxes. After taxes, it's $18 million. If other funds join, the amount will be even larger." But of course, I could only tell half the story. If I told the other half, my big, fragile son would probably die.
I saw that the topic had strayed a bit, so I continued the previous topic: "We were just saying that women aren't men's private property, right?"
Upon hearing this, Mingming seemed to have swallowed a fly, but still didn't say anything
. Me: "Women are not men's private property, nor are they tools for men and women to use. In the past, I bore children for your father because I loved him, so I was willing. In the past, he worked hard outside to support the family because he loved me, so he was willing too..."
Mingming quickly interrupted, "He's willing now."
I was utterly disappointed in my son and added, "We raised you because we love you. But we are not your slaves. Understand?"
Mingming was completely stunned this time.
I continued, "Parents' love for their children will never stop. But the love between parents can stop. Your father and I will have a serious talk..."
Mingming: "You're getting a divorce?"
I glared fiercely at my son. I glanced at him, and he finally shut up
. "It's not a divorce, but if he acts like you just did, I'll slap him twice."
Mingming was completely bewildered. He stared at me blankly.
I lit a cigarette and said, "Just tell him, because he has the right to know. The choice is his."
Mingming: "Mom, don't tell him. My dad always thought he had a happy family. If he knew, if he knew you were having an affair, he'd go crazy."
Me: "..."
Mingming continued to plead relentlessly, pulling at me, "Mom, is it because my dad can't do that anymore? You can secretly go out and find other men, but please don't tell him. I'll cover for you."
I stared at my son, speechless with astonishment. I cupped his cheeks in my hands, and
Mingming continued to plead, "Please, please, Mom."
To be honest, this was the most heartbreaking thing for me. I had raised my child with all my heart. Behind every step he took was my thin, frail figure. He was just happy for his dad, which made me feel like a thief. He
clearly thought I was persuaded by him, and continued like he was showing off a treasure, saying, "Mom, I promise I'll keep it a secret. I promise I'll keep it a secret."
I promised that if Zhang Yuan said that, I would slap him twice, and then let him hit me or let me hit him again, it would be better than this.
I suppressed the urge to curse and patted my son's shoulder, saying, "It's getting late, go back to sleep."
He seemed to want to say something more, to emphasize something, but seeing my lack of interest, he hesitated and walked away.
I looked down at his back and saw that he actually had one of my underwear in his pocket. That was the same
pair that Wang Jiahao had given me with the money he earned from his part-time job. Oh well, I can always buy another one when I have money.
I quietly opened a shopping website and bought the exact same one.
Around 11 p.m., I was woken up by a text message from Wang Jiahao. I then postponed his invitation to go camping to tomorrow
and turned off my phone to go to sleep, but I couldn't fall asleep no matter what. So I turned on my phone again, chatting with Wang Jiahao as I walked
until I reached my son's room. I was stunned by what I saw inside. He was holding the underwear I had just worn, raising it high, and chewing it bit by bit. He would occasionally spit it out and put it on his already fully developed penis, starting to masturbate.
Before this, I had never felt like I had lost my underwear; I just felt like I was in a daze and misplaced things, and I would find them somewhere else in a few days.
But now, I felt like my son wasn't licking or eating my underwear, but licking my vulva, eating my life.
Accompanied by my son masturbating, he would occasionally moan, "Oh, Mom, it feels so good. Oh, Mom..."
I suddenly covered my mouth, about to burst into tears
. I curled up at the door of his room, tears already falling.
Gradually, his breathing became lighter. I was about to leave when I noticed my son holding the underwear stained with his semen in one hand and gripping the doorknob in the other.
He tried to run away, but I... He stopped
me: "Okay, come back. I saw everything."
My son lowered his head and remained silent.
I said, "It's nothing. It's normal to have desires for the opposite sex. You need to have a girlfriend, you can't do this. It's bad for your health. Don't you have a girlfriend named Annie? Why are you doing this?"
Mingming blurted out, "I don't like her, they're just talking nonsense. We're nothing..."
I said, "Stop pretending. Then you heard Annie mention another man's name. Why were you in such a hurry? Okay, go to sleep early."
My son said, "They always say Annie is my woman, so I..."
I said, "Remember not to care what others say. Be yourself."
My son said, "Mom, I like you. I want to sleep with you."
I was stunned for a moment, and then Mingming's mouth pressed against mine. He took my tongue in his mouth. I was so surprised that my whole body froze. When I tried to resist, he held me tightly, and no matter how much I struggled, I couldn't break
free Zhang Ming seemed to have made up his mind, picked me up and threw me onto the bed. I scrambled to my feet and tried to run away, but he grabbed my ankle and pulled me back.
I cried out in surprise, "Mingming, no! I'm your mother!" At that moment, I was completely devastated, throwing a tantrum like a country shrew, trying to break free from his embrace. But I was so powerless. He pulled me, along with the sheet I was clutching tightly, and
I saw the lewd smile on his face. This time, I was truly terrified. I tried to grab the bed and climb back up, but he used his leg to spread my legs apart.
I instantly felt my defenses crumble, and he used both hands to forcefully separate my legs. I was desperate; no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't hold on. My legs struggled, and he caressed and played with them. My screams mingled with tears, and then he actually inserted his mature, erect penis inside me. I groaned, "Oh!" followed by a wave of pleasure, the same as any man's. But this time, the feeling was even more intense.
I began to resist the feeling; I wanted to reach inside and pull it out with both hands. I felt utterly disgusted
, but he grabbed my hands. I screamed, "No! I'm your mother!"
The bed creaked and shook, the intense sensation exciting me again. Then came a wave of humiliation and anger. My hands were held tightly. So I spat at him, which only fueled his lust. The bed creaked and groaned
incessantly, wave after wave. My resolve and dignity crumbled little by little with each sway.
I lay there, stunned. The stimulation didn't elicit moans, but rather a dazed, excited state. The excitement didn't stop; I was simply in a daze. Until he pulled out his penis and gently manipulated me, changing my position,
he gently placed my legs on his shoulders. Looking at him, I kept saying in my mind, "Please, don't do this. You've already done it. Don't do this. Your father and I have never used it."
The words were just a fleeting thought, but before I could speak, his huge, hard member entered me. Each powerful thrust felt like my vagina was being pushed together.
I covered my mouth, trying to avoid making a sound from the intense stimulation.
The repeated shocks to my senses gradually made me loosen my grip, and my arms, which had been completely covering my chest, opened.
He greedily grabbed my breasts, matching his rapid thrusts. The feeling was so painful, so exciting. I just stood there, blankly thinking
, "Oh...oh..."
Finally, accompanied by the intense stimulation, I began to moan softly. It was like a shy, hesitant moan on our wedding night;
suddenly, he thrust in hard, so much so that I gasped in surprise, "Oh...no."
For a moment, I felt humiliated.
I wanted to die,
but with each rhythmic thrust, I still moaned, "Oh...no...you're killing me. Oh...don't..."
Each thrust made my heart rise and fall with my heavy breathing, as I struggled to keep up.
Each thrust completely intoxicated me. I wished I could just die and end this shameful life,
but waves of excitement kept shattering those thoughts. Helplessness and humiliation transformed into an indescribable excitement. My lower body began to unconsciously move in sync with his rhythm. His gentle withdrawal, always perfectly timed, amplified the sensations.
I began to purse my lips and squint my eyes, just as I had done with other men, watching his expression as he thrust in with all his might.
My hands somehow encircled his neck, and he lowered his head to suckle my breasts.
Mingming: "Mom, I want milk... I'm hungry..."
I raised my head: "Shh," and then pressed his head even lower.
He greedily suckled my breasts, as if they were still full and brimming with milk.
His tongue skillfully teased my nipples and their edges
. My God, I was now aroused, and I
desperately wanted him to use more force
. I cried out: "Ah... fuck me... fuck me..."
With each wanton cry, he seemed to tremble more, thrusting deeper and deeper.
Then came wave after wave of pleasure, until finally he ejaculated inside me. That night, in the place where he was conceived, we made love several more times, half-heartedly. His body was so young and vibrant.
I fell asleep in his embrace that night
, but when I woke up in the morning, I saw my son's naked body and the carnal scenes from the previous night. The humiliation and grief I felt at the beginning of the night surged back, and I even started coughing due to my emotional state.
I looked at the fruit knife on his table and wanted to kill him. I was committing suicide. Because I should have no attachment to this world anymore.
Although I had mentioned "no attachment" countless times in my mind, I couldn't bring myself to do it even with the knife in my hand. Despair and fear turned into an extreme emotion that couldn't be released for a long time.
Finally, I cut my hair with the knife, one cut at a time. Golden hairs fell to the ground one by one. In the end, I locked myself in the room, bald and naked, and drew the curtains. At this moment, I wasn't desperate, nor did I want to commit suicide. I just wanted to be alone. It was
breakfast time. This time, Mingming had prepared breakfast for me and left it at the door. He didn't knock, just waited quietly for me to come out. He
'd reheated the food in the microwave again and again; I knew it was his first time cooking, and I was still worried he might get electrocuted or burned. Was it maternal instinct or the nature of a slut? I didn't know. Suddenly, accompanied by his scream, my instinct was to panic. I rushed out without even putting on my pajamas,
only to find Zhang Ming grinning wickedly, pulling me into his arms, gently caressing my breasts, saying, "Let's eat."
He made me recall last night, the feeling so stimulating and intense. My breathing became erratic, but I still said, "I've shaved my head, and you still won't let me go."
Zhang Ming kissed my neck hard, and with his powerful suck, my heart nearly leaped into my throat. As his lips relaxed, I exhaled a pleasurable, lewd breath.
Gradually, he began to suckle every inch of my skin. I enjoyed this moment of being possessed. The feeling was intense and pleasurable.
[To be continued]

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