Sexual ignorance?

The first time I saw a woman naked was in elementary school. A dance troupe was performing at the market, and I saw women naked and their nipples exposed. Some men were even touching the women's bodies. After that, I became very interested in women's bodies. Not long after, at the urging of my classmates, I watched a pornographic film. I still remember the title: "Underground Mistress." It wasn't an A-rated film, not a Category III film, but I still saw nudity and sexual intercourse. Later in elementary school, we even started having designs on the female teachers. We boys and girls would stand very close to the female teachers' genitals; I don't know what the school was thinking, arranging it that way. In fifth grade, because I was a good student, I wasn't afraid of anything, and the teachers never scolded me. One of my classmates and I punched many holes in the wall of the schoolyard, right in front of the female teachers' genitals when they squatted down. Back then, the first thing we did after class was to urinate, even if we didn't need to, we'd wait for the teachers to do it. We saw all three female teachers in the school. One was older, almost 50, another was in her 20s, and the third was under 30 who had just given birth. However, the teachers later found out. They called us over—actually, there were only three of us: the class monitor, myself (the vice-monitor and sports committee member), and one who was very disruptive. I thought we'd get a severe scolding, but they only warned us not to do that kind of thing again. Luckily, it was a male teacher who said it; if the female teachers had been there, I don't know what would have happened. Seeing the thick pubic hair of the female teacher, and her urethra (I later learned that the vagina and urethra are different), I couldn't help but think of a "sleeve." I guess I was self-taught; I learned to masturbate in elementary school. The first time, I repeatedly explored with my hand, shaping it into a tube, not realizing it was a fist-like position, just my fingertips touching to manipulate it. The first time, not long after, I felt the urge to urinate and ejaculated a milky white fluid. At that time, I didn't know it was called semen. It's been almost ten years, and I can't remember how many times I've masturbated. In junior high, I sometimes fantasized about female teachers during class. I had a chance to take my relationship with one of them further, but I was too timid and inexperienced, so I backed out. However, I did it secretly in the dormitory. During summer vacation, I would masturbate whenever I showered. I also found myself masturbating more often than in junior and senior high school when I had to secretly find porn. Looking back now, I deeply regret learning to masturbate so early. Now I want to change, but it's like watching a pornographic film, "Underground Mistress," where the woman in the dance troupe performs in public. Please remember

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Sexual ignorance?

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