Past Life and Present Life

Reincarnation and Afterlife
Word Count: 20706
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I don't know if there's an afterlife, but I hope all love can endure in this life… Chapter 1
When I had to transfer to this city, my world was gray…
More than once, I thought about death, but I had a deep fear of death, and only then did I understand my own cowardice.
I often spent my nights in nightmares, and during the day, I was consumed by deep self-blame.
I hoped that God would give me another chance to make up for the hurt I caused Xiaomei.
But God insisted that I endure this torment…
"Devil! Daydreaming again! Go to class! Sigh, I don't know what you're thinking about!"
My roommate "Crow" was always nagging.
There were very few boarding students from out of town; only Crow, Tiger, and I shared a room in the entire grade.
Perhaps because we were all studying alone in a foreign land, we became good friends in just two weeks, even though I didn't talk much.
Tiger had a tiger-like head and a silly,憨厚 smile.
Because I often sneaked out and came back quietly, Crow gave me the nickname "Ghost," but Tiger thought it sounded bad, so I became "Devil."
The first year of high school wasn't too stressful, but studying far from home, everyone hoped to succeed, so everyone worked extra hard.
Packing my things, I silently followed behind them. About 200 meters from the dormitory, around the corner from the teaching building, I suddenly saw a figure at the entrance. My heart skipped a beat!
A purple dress, long, flowing hair—the figure flashed at the entrance and disappeared.
"Xiao Mei? Impossible! Is Xiao Mei still alive? Xiao Mei!"
I couldn't control my excitement and frantically chased after her. My roommates were left behind, completely bewildered.
I rushed into the building, running up and down the stairs several times, but there was no purple figure!
Finding nothing, I was truly frustrated.
Crow caught up with me, panting, and asked what was wrong. I said nothing.
He scratched his head, patted my shoulder, and said, "Go to class." He looked confused.
That evening, they both brought over a case of beer, and we drank silently, occasionally making small talk.
To be honest, I was really grateful to them. They didn't press me for anything, and their company was the best comfort I could get.
After finishing the last bottle, I said I was going for a walk.
Tiger told me to come back early and gave me a pack of cigarettes.
I staggered, dragging my hangover body, to the playground. The playground was exceptionally quiet under the moonlight, with only the crickets still chirping endlessly.
I took a deep drag of my cigarette, looking at the starry sky, thinking of my Xiaomei.
Xiaomei, are you doing well in heaven? Do you know I'm thinking of you? Are you thinking of me? Or are you hating me?
I couldn't control my tears, letting them stream down my face…
Lying on the cold playground, the scenes deeply etched in my heart seemed to replay before my eyes.
Xiaomei clung tightly to me, wearing a light purple t-shirt and light purple trousers, her long hair flowing down her shoulders…
We strolled along the tree-lined path. Xiaomei would occasionally look up at me, her bright eyes and arched eyebrows captivating.
Sometimes she would smile, revealing her clean, white teeth, which made me unable to resist kissing her little mouth.
I was met with a forceful bite!
She giggled, ditched me, and mischievously ran away.
I chased after her: “Come here, let your brother hug you!”
“Someone will see us, no!”
I chased after her diligently, and she nimbly ran around, giggling: “The wolf is coming!!”
“Hmm, the big bad wolf is going to eat the little white rabbit!” I tried to catch her.
“Hmph, more like a wolf in sheep’s clothing! Oh, you’re cheating!”
Having caught the lively little sparrow, I didn’t care if anyone saw me and kissed her forcefully. She kept her lips tightly closed.
My tongue forcefully pried open her teeth and skillfully probed into her little mouth.
She held my tongue in her mouth, gently sucking, and I stretched out my own, swirling it around.
Her nimble little tongue responded, like a little snake, deftly weaving in and out.
*** *** *** ***
"Tell me, whose is it?!"
A thunderous shout shattered our tender moment.
I found ourselves standing in the registrar's office, where the grotesque old man was shouting at the top of his lungs.
"Zhao Xuemei, tell me, is it his?"
"No, it's not..."
"Then who is it? Besides him, who else could it be?"
"..."
"Then Zhou Yan, tell me, is it you?!"
"I...I...no..."
I didn't understand why I was so cowardly, daring to taste the forbidden fruit but not daring to admit it.
I even felt that this wasn't cowardice, but despicable.
Xiaomei gazed at me quietly, her eyes filled with no blame, no disappointment, only a deep love.
How could I be so cowardly? I keep blaming myself. I feel like her loving gaze is a sword, piercing my heart! Why don't I have the courage to share this burden with her?
*** *** *** ***
"Xiaomei committed suicide. Sigh, the pressure from all sides was too much. How could a young girl bear it?"
Hearing my mother's words felt like being struck by lightning. My vision went black, and blood rushed to my head.
"No, I don't believe it! You're lying! You're lying!!!! She wouldn't do that, she wouldn't!"
*** *** *** ***
I shouted loudly. Through my hazy vision, I saw Tiger sitting on the edge of my bed with a glass of water.
"Here, drink some water. You had another nightmare! Think positively, there's no hurdle you can't overcome!"
"Brother, can you sleep in the dorm next time? Look how tired Tiger is, covered in sweat. Carrying you back was really hard work, you look like a dead pig, haha!" Crow couldn't resist teasing me.
"Thank you."
I didn't know what to say; my heart was filled with gratitude.
"Go to sleep; you have class tomorrow."
"Okay, goodnight!"
Chapter Two
The following days were uneventful, and before I knew it, New Year's Day was approaching.
Perhaps time could slowly heal the wounds; my mood gradually recovered, and I wasn't in so much pain anymore, only occasionally thinking of my Xiaomei.
One day during break, I was bored and decided to go downstairs for a walk. Just as I reached the building entrance, I suddenly saw a girl walking towards me.
She was wearing a light purple down jacket, her long hair cascading over her shoulders, chatting and laughing with her friend. I was certain it was the purple-clad figure I had seen last time!
I truly felt a sense of irony; she looked strikingly similar to Xiaomei!
Delicate, arched eyebrows, a small nose, and when she laughed, she revealed small, white teeth, giving her a slender appearance. I remembered often teasing Xiaomei, calling her a shark…
I was stunned. I thought I was seeing my Xiaomei, but reason told me it was impossible!
Then I noticed that she and Xiaomei did have some differences; you could say they were nine-tenths similar.
What shocked me most was that Xiaomei loved long, flowing hair and favored purple, but this girl in front of me looked so much like her!
They chatted and laughed as they brushed past me, and I stood there, stunned, unable to react for a long time!
After a while, I suddenly snapped out of it and turned around, but they were already gone!
Dejected, I returned to the classroom, my mind a complete blank.
Class started, but I remained seated. My deskmate, Bing'er, nudged me: "Hey, stop daydreaming, class is starting!"
I ignored her, but soon my thoughts had to be interrupted because the Chinese teacher's ever-accurate chalk stub hit me squarely on the forehead once again.
Damn it, I wondered if he was a descendant of Li Xunhuan. I hated him so much; I was the only one in the whole class who got hit by his chalk the most. He didn't care that I was the top student in the grade, especially since my Chinese grades were also excellent. To embarrass me in front of so many people, I retaliated!
During break, Bing'er asked me what was wrong. I said nothing.
She's the class monitor, always very attentive to the students' needs and quite competent. She's petite with small eyes and freckles, but her most attractive features are her two small rabbit teeth, which make her smile adorable.
The boys in the class initially wondered if this immature kid could handle being class monitor. However, her outspoken personality, meticulousness, and patience won them over, and they gradually toned down their playful attitudes and admired her.
Although we're deskmates, I don't talk to her much. Actually, I don't talk much to anyone; I prefer to be in my own world, missing my Xiaomei.
She, on the other hand, always tries to find ways to talk to me, asking questions or telling jokes. We've become quite close.
After evening self-study, thinking about the girl I met today who looked so much like Xiaomei, I felt a deep sense of guilt again. I went and bought three bottles of baijiu (Chinese liquor), ready to drink my fill!
Crow and Tiger drank some with me. I just wanted to get drunk, so I gulped down the liquor, letting the alcohol irritate my stomach. When I felt I'd had enough, I wanted to go for a walk.
Tiger advised me that it was too cold, all snow and ice, and I shouldn't go, but I said, "Leave me alone," and staggered out the door. They followed me out, and I said,
"Don't follow me, let me be alone for a while!"
They ignored me and silently followed.
Whatever, I went to the playground, sat on the bleachers, lit a cigarette, and took a few deep drags. The smoke burned my lungs, fiery and painful, but it brought a little comfort to my aching heart.
I looked up at the sky; the deep blue night sky, the stars twinkling brightly, the pale Milky Way seeming to flow slowly.
Oh, that's Altair, and that's Vega. Hmph, the Cowherd and the Weaver Girl, they can still meet every year, but I'll never see my Xiaomei again…
Tears welled up in my eyes again, and I burst into tears…
I cried for a long time until I felt someone put their arm around my shoulder. It was Tiger, his eyes were red too.
Crow was hopping around nearby, shivering from the cold. Tiger said, “It's too cold. How about we go back and drink until we drop?”
“Okay,” I nodded, and we helped each other back to the dormitory.
After a few more drinks, Crow tentatively asked why I was crying.
“Brother, tell us what's bothering you. It'll make you feel better. If you consider us brothers, let us share your pain!” Tiger also tried to comfort me.
Fueled by the alcohol, and grateful for their friendship, I sobbed as I recounted my story and poured out my pain.
Xiaomei and I were childhood sweethearts. We were neighbors and classmates. Every day, we went to school and came home together, and did our homework together in the evenings. During holidays, I would go out with her.
In junior high, classmates would sometimes joke about us, saying we were a couple. We pretended not to care, but secretly we both hoped it was true.
I clearly remember one evening in my third year of junior high, we were doing our homework together. I finished and looked up to see her deep in thought, her brow furrowed, a small purple hair clip in her hair, her pink lips tightly pursed.
I asked her what was wrong, and she seemed to wake up suddenly.
She gasped, glanced at me hastily, her face flushed, and then quickly lowered her head. I noticed her face was getting redder and redder, even her slender neck was turning red.
I thought she was sick, so I got up and touched her forehead—she looked perfectly normal. Strange.
She stood up, her face still red, and stammered,
"I...I...you...you..."
She hesitated, her eyes filled with shyness, yet also a hint of reproach.
I suddenly realized what she meant, I knew what she was thinking. For a long time, I hadn't been sleeping well because I'd been thinking about the same thing
: love!!!
Two people who loved each other, yet too shy to speak. Today, I was going to muster the courage to break the ice.
"Xiaomei, I...I like you!"
I grabbed her hands and boldly uttered the words I'd repeated a thousand times in my heart.
Xiaomei broke free from my grasp and threw herself into my arms, hugging me tightly until I could barely breathe. But at that moment, my main focus was on those two soft little bunnies pressed against my chest:p (Damn, why am I such a pervert?) It was
a very special feeling! Feeling those two soft mounds for the first time, my heart pounded wildly, and my little brother was stirring.
I hugged her, and she looked up, shyly saying she liked me too!
I slowly moved my head closer to hers, and she understood what I was about to do, slowly closing her eyes.
I gently pressed my lips to hers; they were so soft. I gently sucked on her lips, so sweet.
Suddenly, a soft little tongue slipped in. I was startled; I didn't know kissing required a tongue! Hehe, but I guess I was born with this skill. I started sucking on her tongue.
Then, tentatively, I probed my tongue into her small mouth. Her delicate teeth, her small palate—I passionately swirled my tongue around inside her. Her saliva was sweet; I loved it.
Suddenly, she bit my tongue hard. Ouch! I jerked my tongue back, wincing in pain. I said, "What are you doing?"
She said, "To make me remember her forever," and then smiled gently. She asked me with concern, "Did it hurt?" Hehe, of course it hurt! I don't think I'll be able to eat properly for days. 　　She brought her delicate face close again. I said nervously, "Again?" 　　She smiled and said, "No
, not at all ." Then she kissed me, her little tongue exploring my lips. I wanted to bite her back, but I couldn't bear to. 　　We kissed for what seemed like forever before stopping. She smiled and reached out to wipe the drool from my mouth. Heh, being a beginner, my technique was terrible; it was all over my chin. 　　And just like that, our relationship became clear. 　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　Chapter Three . 　　"And then?" Crow asked. 　　I tossed away my cigarette butt, downed a glass of strong liquor, lit another cigarette, and continued. 　　Not long after, one weekend, Xiaomei's parents went out, and we were secretly intimate again in her bedroom. 　　After a passionate kiss, perhaps driven by adolescent impulses, I couldn't suppress my curiosity about sex. I tentatively touched her breasts and asked her, "May I?" 　　She nodded, shyly burying her head in my chest. 　　Hearing the call to arms, I controlled my trembling hands and unbuttoned her light purple nightgown, revealing a matching purple bra underneath. The bra was trimmed with lace and adorned with small yellow flowers. 　　I didn't know where to begin. She shyly guided my hand, tracing it along her smooth back, leading me to unhook the back straps. 　　She reached down and pulled down her bra straps, revealing a pair of snow-white, perky breasts. 　　I lowered my head, greedily kissing her breasts, my hands roaming over them. I took her nipple into my mouth, and she let out a soft moan, as if her bones had been drained, collapsing onto the bed. 　　I pounced on her like a beast, sucking on her nipples and kneading her breasts forcefully. She let out suppressed moans. 　　After a while, I could no longer suppress my lust. I frantically took off my clothes. Xiaomei also took off her trousers, but was still wearing light pink panties. 　　I stripped naked, then, ignoring her shyness, ripped off her panties. She closed her eyes tightly, crossed her arms over her chest, her body tense. 　　I didn't care about anything else; I parted her legs and bent down. 　　To be honest, although I knew the techniques of sex, I didn't know where to start. 　　My erect penis reminded me to thrust in! 　　I searched aimlessly, but Xiaomei remained tense, her rapid breathing the only sound.　　　I searched anxiously, and then a small hand reached out, guiding me to a soft area. "Is this it?" 　　She didn't answer, only withdrew her hand. I thrust my hips, trying to enter, but I was hesitant, unable to penetrate despite my efforts. 　　I was sweating profusely with anxiety when suddenly, I cried out in alarm. Although I had no sexual experience, I had masturbated. I felt a surge of electricity shoot from my penis to my brain. Before I could even remove my penis, milky semen sprayed onto her. " 　　I'm afraid!" she exclaimed in surprise. "What is it?" 　　I stammered, unsure how to answer. 　　She seemed to understand, giggling a few times, which eased the tense atmosphere somewhat. 　　Perhaps it was youth, but my penis wasn't completely soft. Combined with the lubrication of my semen, I felt like a fish in water. My penis seemed to have found that little opening, and I slowly but forcefully pushed in.　　　Pushing in, breaking through all the resistance, her body shuddered violently. I had finally entered successfully! 　　Only then did I breathe a sigh of relief. My gaze shifted to Xiaomei's face, and I noticed a few tears clinging to the corners of her eyes, and tiny teardrops clung to her long hair by her ears. 　　Was she crying? I asked her if it hurt. She nodded, then suddenly arched her back and bit my shoulder hard. 　　A heart-wrenching pain shot through me. She released her grip, and blood seeped from the teeth marks on my shoulder!　　　"I'm marking you here, you'll always be mine alone!" 　　"Wow, what if someone sees?" 　　"I don't care, you deserve it, who told you to bully me!" 　　"Does it still hurt?" " 　　It's a little better, you...you move a little, it feels so swollen!" 　　"Hehe, I'm afraid, I'm afraid you'll bite me!" 　　She pretended to be angry, acting as if she was about to bite me. Of course, I couldn't hold back any longer and started slowly thrusting in and out.　　　Gradually, she felt it, her vagina slowly secreting some lustful fluid, making my thrusting easier. So I started to speed up, thrusting forcefully. 　　She couldn't help but slowly let out louder and louder moans: 　　"Hmm...hmm...ah...oh...hmm..." 　　These moans were my charge, I thrust and thrust with all my might. She also hooked her legs around my waist, her arms tightly hugging my body, her nails slowly digging into my flesh. 　　Ah, the intense stimulation from my penis, mixed with the pain in my shoulders and back, drove me even crazier, I thrusting forcefully without regard for anything else. 　　"Ah...ah...I...can't take it anymore...ah..." 　　Accompanied by her ecstatic moans, I thrust hard and ejaculated deep inside her.　　　So tired, I collapsed on top of her, panting, and drifted off to sleep. 　　And so, we tasted the sweet fruit of our desires. Although opportunities to make love were few, whenever possible, I released my pent-up urges on her. 　　But then, during the physical exam before the high school entrance exam, a shocking piece of news spread like wildfire—　　　Xiaomei was pregnant!!! 　　"Damn it, how the hell didn't you know? How come she didn't even notice?!" Crow cursed loudly.　　　Yes, we were so careless; we hadn't even considered the possibility of pregnancy! 　　"Don't interrupt, what happened next?" Tiger gestured for Crow to shut up. 　　I took a swig of wine and continued. (I didn't write anything erotic, I'm just writing this for everyone to see, don't misunderstand.) 　　In those days, this was like a bolt from the blue. The dean of academic affairs immediately summoned us, he just wanted to know if I had done something wrong!

Back then, I was a top student, the class monitor, and the model student in everyone's eyes. I was timid; I was afraid that if I spoke out, I would lose everyone's admiration.
I dared not admit it, and Xiaomei firmly denied it was me. Now I know she truly cared for me, but how could I repay her love?
She was forced to drop out of school, while I graduated smoothly. During this time, we never saw each other again. I dared not go to her; I was afraid others would know the sins I had committed, and I dared not face her.
But shortly after the high school entrance exam, I heard the news of Xiaomei's suicide. I was shocked. I confessed my mistake to my parents, but my mother said,
"It's too late. What's the use of confessing now?"
To help me escape the shadow of despair, my parents sent me to stay with my uncle in a city thousands of miles away.
Just as I was packing my bags, preparing to leave, I suddenly received a letter—a letter from Xiaomei!
It was her suicide note! The handwriting was blurred, but I could imagine that she must have been weeping uncontrollably as she wrote it!
She said she had become a bad girl in other people's eyes, and if she were with me, it would only ruin their opinion of her. Therefore, we couldn't be together anymore. Without me, her life had no meaning, so she chose to die!
She also said:
"If there is an afterlife, I wish to be your wife, and never be separated from you for all eternity!!!!!!!!!"
"If there is an afterlife, I wish to be your wife, and never be separated from you for all eternity!!!!!!!!!"
"If there is an afterlife, I wish to be your wife, and never be separated from you for all eternity!!!!!!!!!"
...
...
...
Chapter Four
These words were like a dagger, each word piercing my heart! My head buzzed, my chest burned, and I spat out a mouthful of blood onto the letter in my hand. Everything went black, and I knew nothing more.
"Damn it, you motherfucker, you dare to do it but don't dare to admit it, what kind of man are you!" Crow's eyes were red as he cursed loudly.
"You're right to scold me. I didn't have the courage to face the facts. I made Xiaomei bear the contempt and ridicule of others alone. I'm not human!"
"You really made a mistake." Tiger wiped away his tears and said seriously, "But Xiaomei's actions were also wrong. Forget it, it's all in the past. Take it easy!"
Yes, it's all in the past, but what's lost can never be recovered. If I could choose again, I would definitely stand up bravely and share everything with Xiaomei.
Wiping away their tears, they had another drink. They also talked about why they lived at school. Crow's parents were divorced, and he didn't want to accept his harsh stepmother, so he lived at school.
As for Tiger, his parents both died in a car accident. He also lived with his uncle, but having lost his parents at a young age, he had a very independent personality and insisted on living at school, even though his uncle's family treated him very well.
We drank and talked, cried for a while, laughed for a while, and finally, the four bottles of baijiu were almost empty. Hehe, the three of them vomited all over the floor like they were competing, and then they drifted off to sleep without realizing it.
I don't know how long I slept, but someone knocked on the door. Tiger opened it, patted me, and said they were looking for me. I was sound asleep and ignored him.
After a while, someone nudged me. I impatiently said, "Damn it, who is it!"
I opened my sleepy eyes and saw it was Bing'er, Shit. I quickly sat up.
Bing'er let out a soft "Ah!" and I realized that I usually only wear my underwear to bed, so when I sat up, my upper body was completely naked.
She quickly turned her head away. I pulled the blanket over myself and asked her what was wrong.
She said she wanted to see why I wasn't going to class. I said I had drunk too much. She frowned angrily:
"What kind of excuse is that? You have to go to class this afternoon!"
Bing'er left, and Crow sighed, "I'm so envious. We have such a good class monitor. They don't go to class and nobody cares." I ignored him.
On New Year's Day, the class held a party, decorated with lanterns and colorful streamers, it was quite lively. I wasn't really interested, but not wanting to spoil the fun for everyone, I participated anyway.
There was a performance where Bing'er randomly selected someone's name to perform.
To my surprise, it was me! Was she doing it on purpose?
I couldn't refuse, so I asked a classmate who could play guitar to accompany me, and we sang a popular song at the time, Luo Dayou's "Love Song 90."
Your bright black eyes and smiling face,
I can't forget the changes in your appearance. The
fleeting old days have slipped away so easily.
Looking back, several years have passed in a flash.
The vast road to the ends of the earth is your wandering.
Searching and seeking, always wanting to stay together, is my footstep. Beside my
dark, lonely pillow is your tenderness.
The mornings I wake up in are filled with my sorrow.
Perhaps tomorrow, when the sun sets and the weary birds return,
you will have already embarked on your old journey home.
Life rarely offers another chance to find a kindred spirit. Life is
ultimately hard to part with. The blue sky and white clouds,
the rumbling thunder and rain outside my window,
I can't forget the changes since you left.
Behind your lonely figure, my desolate heart,
my eyes will never complain.
*** *** *** ***
Thinking of my little Mei, as I sang, my voice choked, tears welled in my eyes, and my voice became hoarse. It even sounded a bit like Luo Dayou's voice.
After the performance, the classroom was silent for a few seconds before applause broke out. I saw some girls still silently wiping away tears; girls are so easily moved.
My classmates all said I sang very well. I held back my tears and thanked everyone.
The next day during break, Bing'er smiled and said I sang really well. I grinned, thinking, "How could a little girl like you know how I felt when I sang?"
Time flew by, and winter break arrived. The school provided a classroom for boarding students to study in. The three of us brothers, having nothing to do, would go play soccer.
Every day during study time, Bing'er and several other girls from our class would come over. We all felt it was unnecessary, but they said that more people created a better learning atmosphere, and we could ask each other for help if we didn't understand something. Chinese
New Year arrived. On New Year's Eve, after having my reunion dinner at my uncle's house, I insisted on going back to my dorm. They didn't insist and let me take some food for a late-night snack.
Back in the dorm, I was surprised to find my two friends there too, and we started drinking as usual. Lately
, I've been feeling much better and rarely drink anymore. Perhaps it's because confiding my pent-up pain to friends makes me feel a little lighter.
After a few rounds of drinks, someone knocked on the door. When I opened it, I saw Bing'er and two girls from my class. I was surprised and asked them what they wanted.
She said they were there to keep us company on New Year's Eve and
also to keep an eye on me so I would
n't drink too much. :p Let them in. No need for introductions; the two girls were Xiaojuan and Lingling, both of whom went to school to study every day and were quite familiar with Wuya and the others. Everyone chatted and laughed happily, not drinking much. Every time I took a sip, Bing'er insisted on having a small sip too, laughing and saying she wanted to experience what it's like to be drunk. I...
I was so touched. They actually came to keep us company on New Year's Eve. I realized I was developing feelings for Bing'er, but how could I be worthy? I quickly took a big gulp of wine to suppress my inappropriate thoughts.
How could someone like me be worthy of love?
Before I knew it, it was almost dawn. The girls had all drunk quite a bit. Xiaojuan and Lingling couldn't hold on any longer and squeezed into Tiger's bed to sleep.
Tiger and Wuya also slept in Wuya's bed.
I urged Bing'er to get some sleep, as we had to visit relatives during the day, but she said she wasn't sleepy. I think she probably thought I wouldn't have anywhere to sleep. I told her I wasn't sleepy, but she wouldn't listen.
So we chatted, and I noticed her gaze sometimes drifted into my eyes. I seemed to see a familiar look in her eyes, familiar yet something I dared not imagine!
I avoided her gaze, and whenever this happened, she would stop talking until I looked at her!
The alcohol made her speech a little slurred, her face flushed, and her freckles looked especially cute.
She always smiled, but her intense gaze terrified me!
I tried to avoid her gaze, resorting to alcohol to calm my nerves, but she wouldn't listen to my advice and drank more and more. Then, suddenly, she swayed and suddenly vomited—very suddenly.
The table was a mess, and even worse, her clothes were covered in vomit! After vomiting, she slumped onto the table and fell asleep!?
I was at a loss. I tried to wake the two girls, but they wouldn't budge. Tiger and Crow had the same problem as me; when they fell asleep after drinking, you could call them, they'd answer, but their bodies wouldn't move an inch.
I dragged Bing'er to my bed, but what about her clothes?
There was no other way but to take action. I took off her red sweater, revealing a pink bra underneath, and then her jeans, revealing black tight-fitting wool pants that accentuated her slender curves, sparking endless fantasies. "
What am I thinking?" I scolded myself, quickly pulling myself back to reality.
I covered her with a blanket, tidied the room, and then went to wash her dirty clothes. After washing them, I hung them on the radiator; they would dry quickly.
Chapter Five.
Alone, I drank a cup of wine. After what seemed like an eternity, dawn broke, and the sound of firecrackers began to drift in.
On the first day of the Lunar New Year, people set off firecrackers, ate dumplings, and everyone went home.
Lingling and Xiaojuan were both woken up, and even the crows and tigers groggily got up.
But I couldn't wake Bing'er no matter what I did.
It was almost daylight!
The four of them actually told me to take care of Bing'er, and then they all left, laughing and joking!
Seeing them exchanging glances, I figured they probably wanted to set me up with Bing'er, but did I have that right?
After they left, I could only stare blankly at Bing'er, who was fast asleep. Her pretty little face was radiant with peaceful sleep. Her two little bunny teeth looked so adorable.
After a while, she turned over and started snoring.
Perhaps her sleeping position was wrong, so I gently nudged her. She didn't react, so I reached under her neck and turned her head back to its normal position.
She seemed to sense it, shifted slightly, and turned to lie on her side. She grabbed my hand, pressed it against her face, and mumbled something under her breath before falling asleep again!
I didn't have the heart to wake her, so I sat by the bed, watching her sweet sleeping face.
Time passed by, little by little. Others might think that daydreaming is boring, but I enjoy it. My thoughts wander, and time slips away unnoticed.
Later, I felt my hand getting a little numb and tried to pull it away, but she held on tightly. I had to press harder, which woke her up.
"Oh dear, am I drunk?"
"What do you think?"
She sat up, her face slightly flushed, and noticed she was wearing fewer clothes than usual.
She looked around, saw the clothes on the radiator, then looked at me, smiled, and showed me her little bunny teeth.
I quickly gave her the clothes, made an excuse to wash my face, and slipped out.
I washed my face with cold water, and my alcohol-numbed brain cleared up considerably. I filled a basin halfway with water and went back to find Bing'er already dressed. I opened the doors and windows to let out the lingering smell of alcohol.
I poured some hot water for her to wash her face, and seeing her swaying, I offered to take her home.
She didn't refuse, and luckily her house was nearby. Her parents opened the door, and seeing she had been drinking, they didn't scold her. In fact, when her mother learned that I was the "famous" Zhou Yan, she was very welcoming. She even asked me to help Bing'er with her studies.
High school life was uneventful; for us students, the only goal was to get into university.
My relationship with Bing'er didn't progress much either, because I really felt I wasn't good enough for her. But I couldn't keep using the excuse of avoiding her, so our relationship was still more than just friends.
As for Crow, she got together with Xiao Juan, while Tiger and Lingling became a couple, which shocked me. Xiao Juan was quiet, while Lingling was very outgoing. It seems complementary couples are better.
One day in June, after evening self-study, Bing'er said she had a few questions for me, and the other students had all left.
After explaining them to her, I was packing up my textbooks when she suddenly called my name:
"Zhou Yan!"
"Hmm, what is it?"
"I...I like you?!"
What? This sentence shocked me. I had been so careful, I didn't want this to happen, because I didn't even dare to think about it.
Now that she said this, how could I reject her? If I rejected her, would she be very sad?
She's been so good to me, how could I hurt her?
*Thud*, the textbooks in my hands fell to the ground, and I cowardly fled! Leaving Bing'er dumbfounded.
I habitually ran to the playground, pacing anxiously like an ant on a hot plate. I really didn't know what to do!
After thinking for a long time, I thought, "Let me be a deserter; maybe it'll be fine in a couple of days." So I went back to my dorm to sleep.
The next day was Friday, and Bing'er didn't come to class. I was a little restless, and as a result, I got "punched" by the Chinese teacher again in the first period.
Finally, the first period ended, and I didn't care about skipping class anymore; I ran to Bing'er's house to check on her.
I knocked on the door for a long time before she opened it, her eyes red.
I asked her what was wrong, and she said nothing.
"Then go to class!"
"I don't want you to tell me what to do!" She burst into tears.
"Bing'er, I'm sorry! I..."
"You didn't do anything wrong, I was just deluding myself!"
"I..."
"Get out! I don't want to see you again, get out!!!!" She actually yelled.
I thought it was fine, let her calm down by herself. I slunk back to my dorm, bought a few bottles of baijiu, and drank heavily.
By the time Tiger and Crow came back, I was completely drunk.
I vaguely woke up on Sunday morning. The room was spotless. Those two guys were probably off having a tryst somewhere.
Thinking of Bing'er, I suddenly had a bad feeling.
I shook my head, trying to shake off the feeling, but I was still a little worried. I told myself I was just going to check on Bing'er.
I knocked on her door. Her father opened it, saw it was me, came out, closed the door, and said to me, "Can we go downstairs and talk for a few minutes?"
I was trembling with fear. I didn't know what he wanted to say. Had something happened to Bing'er?
I felt a cold sweat break out on my back!
Sitting on a bench under the shade of a tree, he told me that Bing'er hadn't eaten or drunk anything for three days, and asked if something had happened between us.
"No, nothing, please believe me! You've misunderstood, there's nothing between us, really nothing!"
"I believe you, you're a good child. I want to tell you that whether you two are dating or not, her mother and I won't interfere, but after all, you're both still young, and I hope you won't… do you understand what I mean?"
"I understand, Uncle, please don't worry!"
"Alright, let's go upstairs, you can try to persuade her." With that, he actually put his arm around my shoulder and went upstairs with me.
I was truly grateful that Bing'er's parents were so open-minded.
But we really hadn't done anything, which made it even harder to explain. But whatever, as long as Bing'er is alright.
When I opened the door, her father said he had something to do and went out, telling me to find her myself!
I hesitated in the living room for a long time before gently knocking on her bedroom door.
After knocking a few times, I softly called Bing'er's name. After a long while, I heard the sound of the lock opening, and then there was no more sound.
I thought for a moment, then decided to go in. I didn't care about anything else for now. I gently pushed the door open. She was huddled under the covers, only a wisp of messy hair sticking out.
I coughed and sat down on the small stool by the bed. I called her softly, but she ignored me.
"Bing'er, I know you're listening. I want to say it, to tell you the truth, I like you too, but I'm not worthy, really, I'm not worthy of your love!"
I heard her sobbing softly under the covers. I continued,
"I made an unforgivable mistake. I'm not good enough for you, really!"
"I won't listen! You just don't care about me! Waaah..."
Seeing her cry so bitterly, my heart ached. Bing'er, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have hurt you!
I thought, the only way to make her understand was to tell her everything about Xiaomei!
[Last edited by shinyuu1988]
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