"My Soul Transmigrates into My Father's Sex Doll" - Nineteen

◆ Missing
"..." Xie Siyu looked away.
It has to be said that Su Mulin's gaze really made her heart skip a beat.
"...Don't look at me like that, Mu Lin. I didn't mean anything by it."
Su Mulin stared at her without saying a word. Xie Siyu turned her head away somewhat awkwardly; his gaze was too sharp, as if nothing could escape his eyes, and everything was laid bare in his sight.
“It’s you.”
Su Mulin sat up from the sofa and turned to face her. He spoke with certainty, his eyes fierce, as if he had already identified the culprit and was judging and convicting her.
Xie Siyu looked up at him. This was the first time Su Mulin had looked at her directly, but with such an expression.
She remembered how she used to chase after him every day when she was little. University, graduate school, starting a business... she followed in his footsteps, wanting to walk in his footsteps and retrace the path he had walked.
For nearly thirty years, he was the only light in her world, her aspiration, and her faith.
Xie Siyu recalled the moment she overheard that decadent music while hiding outside his study. Shock, disillusionment... the sound of her faith crumbling echoed in her mind.
But she didn't blame him; she knew there was a reason for it all.
"...What am I?"
Xie Siyu turned to face him, not feeling she had done anything wrong: "I taught her shame, I taught her morality... Her background prevented her from learning these things, it was I... who taught her."
Su Mulin's disgusted gaze made Xie Siyu's heart ache. Had all her good intentions only earned her his dislike and hatred?
"Mu Lin, have you forgotten how Su Nuan came to be? She is your disgrace! That woman from back then drugged you to get pregnant in order to enter the Su family. You can see that woman's true nature clearly, so why can't you see Su Nuan?"
"She has that woman's filthy blood flowing in her veins; she's just like her mother, they were born vile sluts..."
Her words were cut off by Su Mulin.
Su Mulin grabbed her throat with one hand, choking her neck and making her face turn red.
"You should be glad I never hit women..."
Su Mulin's gloomy face made him look like a devil. He stared expressionlessly at the woman struggling in his hands, her mouth agape, her throat emitting suffocating, dry breaths.
"Draining the fuel supply from under the cauldron... Your Xie family played a brilliant hand."
Su Mulin grabbed Xie Siyu and shoved her away in disgust. He stood up, his face cold as he looked at Xie Siyu, who was sprawled on the ground, clutching her neck and coughing. He said coldly, "Before, I could let bygones be bygones that by the various underhanded tricks you used to target me after losing the project bid. But today, I'm telling you, Xie Siyu, if even a single hair on my Su Nuan's head is missing, I'll make your entire Xie family pay with their lives..."
...
When Secretary Liu called, it was already five in the morning. The fog had not yet dissipated in the early autumn morning in the north, and the cold dew had condensed into frost, making people shiver all over.
"...Are you sure she's already on the plane?" The chill in Su Mulin's voice was no less intense than the morning frost.
"...Ms. Su's name was found in the passenger list, and her ID number matched..." Secretary Liu's voice came from the other end of the phone.
"...Contact the people in country C. As soon as the plane lands, take her into custody. Book me a ticket to country C immediately; if not, charter a plane..."
As Su Mulin spoke on the phone, he put on his coat. The wound on his forehead was red and the bloodstains were shocking, but that was not the point. What was more important now was to find Su Nuan immediately.
The aunt was helping him pack his things when she heard him say that. She patted her chest and said, "You've heard from Xiaonuan? Thank goodness she's alright..."
Su Mulin patted his aunt on the back: "I've been away for a few days, and you've been busy all night. Go back and rest first."
...
Su Mulin drove to the airport. There were very few cars on the road early in the morning. He hadn't slept all night and his eyes were covered with dark circles, but he couldn't stop for a moment.
When they arrived at the airport, Secretary Liu was already waiting there, holding a plane ticket that had been booked for Su Mulin.
Su Mulin took it and opened it to take a look. The flight was at 7:50 in the morning, so there was still half an hour left.
"Miss Su's flight K9795 took off at 11:30 last night. According to the estimated schedule, it should arrive in Country C around 9:00 this morning..." Secretary Liu bought Su Mulin a cup of coffee and gave him a detailed report.
Su Mulin sipped his coffee, listening intently to what Secretary Liu had to say.
"...What's going on? Haven't we boarded yet?"
Su Mulin looked up and checked the time for the third time; it was already 8:30, almost an hour late. The waiting passengers around him began to get restless.
“…I’ll go ask.” Secretary Liu stood up and quickly left the VIP lounge.
Su Mulin sat in place, opened her phone to check the weather and the latest news in country C.
Having received confirmation of Su Nuan's whereabouts calmed Su Mulin's anxiety, which had been building all night. She was such a silly girl; she was being threatened but didn't tell him, leaving him to fret alone. Thinking about this made him both amused and exasperated.
She still didn't trust him enough. Once he caught her, he'd definitely beat her so badly she couldn't get out of bed, leaving her no time for idle thoughts...
Su Mulin was deep in thought when Secretary Liu returned from outside.
"...Mr. Su...the plane...can't fly for the time being..."
"Why can't we fly?" Su Mulin looked out the window. The sun had already risen, and the weather outside was fine. He had just checked the weather in Country C, and it was also good.
"...the route issue..."
Route problem? Su Mulin frowned, the wound on his forehead stinging. He looked at Secretary Liu and noticed that his face was pale.
"how?"
Seeing his expression, Su Mulin felt a growing unease: "Then let's charter a plane... I don't have time to waste here..." He missed her terribly and wanted to see her immediately.
Su Nuan is now like a butterfly that has completely escaped his control. He can only hear her flapping wings but cannot see her. Su Mulin is now eager to see her and confirm with his own eyes that she is safe and sound.
“…Charter flights…can’t fly either…” Secretary Liu’s voice was choked with emotion, as if he had a wad of cotton stuck in his throat: “…That route is now off-limits to flights…”
"Why is it a no-fly zone?" Su Mulin stared at him intently, as if an alarm was sounding in his mind, beeping and whirring, growing louder as it approached.
"...On that route...there's a plane...that's lost contact...it's been half an hour, and we still can't get in touch with it..." Secretary Liu closed his eyes and spoke the information he had gathered as if facing death.
"That plane was... the K9795 that Miss Su was on..."
◆ Never let go
Su Mulin remembered that when he first met Su Nuan, she was still a tiny baby who couldn't open her eyes.
That year, he had just come of age when he saw that woman, who was almost a stranger, bring the child to the Su family, using it to blackmail him into marrying into the family.
Seeing that he remained unmoved, the woman repeatedly brought Su Nuan close to him: "Mu Lin...look, look how cute she is, how much she looks like you..."
He looked down. The little girl in the swaddling clothes was as delicate as a porcelain doll, her chubby cheeks rosy, and her little mouth was blowing bubbles, like a porcelain doll sleeping soundly.
To be honest, he couldn't see any resemblance between the little girl and himself, but her soft and sweet appearance made him unable to look away. It was the first time he had ever seen a baby so beautiful.
"...You like her too, don't you... Mu Lin..." His lingering gaze seemed to give the woman a bit more confidence: "We're a family together, you, me, and her...we'll be very happy..."
The woman's words disgusted him, and along with the beautiful young girl, their mere presence constantly reminded him of that awful night.
It was filthy.
...
苏暮霖第二次见到苏暖，是在他去那个小县城考察的时候。
鬼使神差的，他突然想起她。想起他还有个女儿，似乎被养在了这个县城的某个小村落里。
找人去查，真的找到了。
照片上的小姑娘，绑着两根羊角辫，都还是歪的。她不再是他印象中的小团子了，身子瘦得可怜，小小一个，但那一双大眼睛却亮得惊人。
他那晚冒着雨去见她，看到她的时候她刚放学，背着一个破旧不堪的书包，一个人默默走在路上。
几个半大的孩子，从她旁边跑过，不时冲上去揪她的头发，扯她的书包。她也不躲，只是低着头，将书包捂得更紧了一点。
这似乎让那几个孩子更肆无忌惮，他们冲上去故意撞她。她瘦得像根树干的身子被他们撞得东倒西歪，终于扑倒在雨里。
书包里的东西撒了一地，那几个孩子围着她哈哈大笑，还想再闹就被苏暮霖从后面揪住了衣领。
见有大人插手，几个小孩一哄而散。
苏暮霖想去扶她，却被她甩手避开了。她低着头，默默去捡浸在泥地里的书，课本封面沾了一大团漆黑的污泥，她拎着那本书有些无措的蹲在原地。
他把她手里的书抽了出来，从怀里掏出一包纸巾，放在膝盖上一点点替她擦干净。
书本上残留的污水把他白色的休闲裤染得一团糟，当他把擦好的书递给她时，她似乎多看了他两眼。
擦书的举动大概赢得了她的好感，当时的她对他没有那么大的敌意。
他们坐在学校的门口，她抱着书包，他替她擦着脸。
“……你会憎恨抛弃你的人吗？”苏暮霖记得当时他是这么问的。
“不会。”她的声音还带着几分奶意：“……我已经习惯了。”
苏暮霖盯着她的眼睛，抿紧了嘴。他生平第一次体会到什么叫愧疚。
无论那个女人做过什么，确实是他亏欠苏暖良多。
……
把她从那群贪婪的母家人手里带回来，着实费了他不少力气。
不过相比于她对自己的敌视，这些都算不上什么。
原来她说的“不憎恶”，是不包括他的。
她像只小刺猬，警惕的面对他，随时随地准备张开她的尖刺向他冲过来。
面对几亿的订单都能坦然自若的他，在面对这个小姑娘时却手足无措。他想讨好她，无从下手，想教训她，更是下不了手。
她似个铜墙铁壁，软硬不吃。
但不知道为什么，她越这样，苏暮霖就越在意她。
他会在工作的时候不时走神，会去想她在学校会不会被同学欺负，会去想她晚饭有没有按时吃……
会在睡觉的时候担心她夜里会不会踢被子，会不会在这里睡不习惯……
苏暮霖不知道别人是养女儿是怎么样的，也是这样牵肠挂肚寝食难安吗？
当他有天夜里再次进她房间想替她把被子盖好时，入眼那双白花花的长腿和从她睡衣领口挤出来的那团丰满，让他当下落荒而逃。
他意识到她长大了……
但这个意识并不是件好事。
他开始在梦里见到她。重点全在她裸露的大腿和雪白的胸脯上，这是他成年之后再一次遗精，量很大，整条裤子全脏了。
之后严重到连白天他都会控制不住自己的理智。一看到她就会硬。
他知道这不对，但他控制不住。
终于在一次拍卖会上，他看到了一个人造玩偶。那个艺术家用特制的材料做的一个仿真人玩偶。
他动了心思，也许有个替代品他不至于会那么冲动。
于是他花了大价钱，向那位艺术家定制了她的仿真玩偶。他在那个玩偶身上寄托着自己对她不伦的情意，与欲望。
他从没想过有一天会得到她的回应。
当她回头抱紧他时，他才发现原来她的身子那么软，原来她也会对自己撒娇，娇娇软软的躺在他身上，小声的说：“好想爸爸一直抱着我……”
他也真的很想，一直抱着她，永远也不放开……
◆ 轰然倒地
“爸爸……”
苏暖从他书桌底下钻了出来，扶着他的大腿，一路凑到苏暮霖面前。
“爸爸……你好香啊……”
她搂着他的脖子，整个人挨进他怀里，脸埋进他的颈窝里，蹭了蹭，然后深深的叹了口气。
他香吗？
苏暮霖自己感受不到，但他却觉得她很香。身上甜甜的软软的，像含在嘴里瞬间就能化开的奶糖。
呼出来的气都是奶香味，喷到他颈间，酥麻一片，心似乎都要跟着化开了。
“……宝宝”他垂眸看她。
她的眼睛清亮，澄澈得能看见自己的倒影，苏暮霖勾过她鬓角的发丝，挂在她的耳朵上。
她看他的眼神永远都这么依赖，好像他无所不能，值得她托付一切。
不知道为什么，明明她就在眼前，苏暮霖心里却空得厉害。越空越痛，像突然被挖走了一大块，空落落的。
似乎飘起一阵浓雾，遮住了他的视线，眼前变得朦胧一片，连她都模糊在这一片迷雾里。
“暖暖别走……”
他拢住手臂想把她抱住，却发现只抱住了一团虚空，身上的小人儿不知所踪，连她的重量都再也感知不到分毫。
“爸爸！”
她的声音从原处传来，惊慌失措。
他焦急的伸出手想去握住她，指尖所及却是一片灼热，像被烈火灼烧着熨烫，热辣的刺痛。
但他不敢放，生怕一松手她就消失无踪，却在那片烧灼的痛意里猛然惊醒了。
苏暮霖睁开眼睛，胸膛剧烈起伏，额头上的伤口跟着抽痛。
他转头看向自己的手，指尖的烟已经烧到了他手上，却被他紧紧夹住。火星在他手间灼出了一片红印。
落地窗外天还是黑沉沉的，树影更像是潜藏在暗夜里的魔鬼，等着把人的神志也一齐吞噬殆尽。
苏暮霖想把燃尽的烟按进烟灰缸里，却碰倒了里头堆积如山的烟嘴，烟灰烟嘴撒了满桌，他却无动于衷，只是在桌面按熄了烟嘴，攥紧手机又重新点燃了一根。
透过弥散的烟雾，他呆怔着盯着外头虚无的黑暗，脑子里全是刚才的那个梦。
他的暖暖去哪了？
这个问题他想了几天，头疼欲裂，却始终找不到答案。
苏暮霖也不知道自己那天是怎么回来的，也不知道自己这几天是怎么过的，手机似乎成了他唯一的寄托，他就这么坐在这里，无能为力。
“扣扣扣……”
不知道他坐了多久，门被人推开了。书房里弥漫的烟雾让来人一进来就咳得泪流满面。
“怎么样……”
苏暮霖没发现自己的声音沙哑得几乎听不清，他想站起来，却发现自己连站起来的力气都没有，好在刘秘书已经走到近前。
刘秘书看着他却并没有说话，他此刻的眼神甚至让苏暮霖看到了悲悯，跟进来的阿姨红着眼睛流着泪，啜泣声让他额头上的伤口更疼了……
这是什么意思？苏暮霖不敢想。
他转头看向窗外，原来天已经亮了。几片发黄的落叶从枝头上滚落，乘着风滑进蓝色的泳池里，在轻动的涟漪里摇晃。
仿佛除了四季，一切都没有变化。
那个女孩，依旧穿着那条蓝色的裙子，光着脚坐在泳池旁边低头看书。
苏暮霖撑着桌子站起身，他想下楼去，想紧紧的抱住她，才跨出两步，却轰然倒地……
◆ 相框
滴……滴……滴……
医疗设备细微的鸣叫声让苏暮霖睁开了眼睛，映入眼帘的是医院发白的天花板，脑子里还是刚才梦到的光怪陆离，耳边似乎还能听见苏暖在梦里的声音，她在哭，在害怕，在向他求救……
苏暮霖喘了喘，他撑着身子想坐起来，却是头晕目眩，整个世界都在他眼前翻滚。
闭了闭眼睛，他晃了下晕沉的脑袋，脱掉了嘴上的呼吸罩，撑着床头要站起来，却一瞬间脱了力，旁边的仪器被他带倒了一片。
好几个人冲了进来，把他带回床上，按住了他的肩膀。
“……暮霖……暮霖……苏暮霖！你不要命了吗？！”
他虚弱得挣扎不掉，瘫在床上喘着粗气，终于看清了站在旁边的人。
老太太花白的头发，眼睛红肿一片。她在苏家多少年了，一向都是金贵持重，什么时候见过她这样的神情？不过短短几天，原本保养得宜的脸上，多了几道皱纹，看起来苍老了许多。
“……我要去找她……我只有她一个……”
他停下挣扎，呆怔着盯着屋顶，嘴里喃喃自语，仿佛是得了失心疯，只记得心中的执念。
老太太看着躺在床上的男人，他脸色苍白，眼窝凹陷发青，额头上的伤疤已经缝了针，针脚像狰狞的蜈蚣，趴伏在他额上吸食着他的理智。
他的眼神更是空洞得可怕，看起来像是随时会离她而去。
苏老太太颤着身子，潸然泪下：“我理解你……也请你理解我……我也只有你这么个儿子……”
她把手按在苏暮霖的额头上，冰冷颤抖：“但是暮霖，你还年轻……”老太太话说到这里就顿住了，她也不是对苏暖一点感情都没有。
苏暖是她唯一的孙女，苏暮霖没把苏暖带回来的那几年，一直是她派人暗中照顾，她不可能对苏暖出事无动于衷。
“……飞机只是失联了，只要找到了飞机，小暖她就会回来的……如果她回来看到你这个样子，要她怎么办？她还小……她需要你……”
没有人敢为这件事下定论，其实大家都心知肚明，这么多天了，那架飞机不可能一直在天上飞着，却一直没有找到……但没人敢细想，更不敢说出口。
只能用“只是失联”来麻痹自己，只要事情还没有定论，就还会有转机。
飞机会回来的，大家都会平安无事的……
……
谢思雨再见到苏暮霖是在苏老太太的葬礼上了。她托了好多关系才偷溜进来的。
这几年苏氏集团在持续壮大，产业遍布全球，但谢家却不知道为什么一直在衰败，投资连连失败，旗下的产业几乎都宣告破产了，谢家的老太爷也在去年含恨离世，而她的父亲最近更是摊上了官司，很有可能会被入刑。
她一直想见苏暮霖，但他始终避而不见。今天趁着苏老太太的葬礼她才有机会混进来。
谢思雨跟在保姆后面找了许久，才在二楼的书房里找到了正在打电话的苏暮霖。
他就坐在书桌前，离她那么近。打电话的同时，他的眼睛一直盯着桌上的一个相框，直到电话结束，都没有挪开过。
从谢思雨的角度看不到相框里的内容，但她来的目的也让她没有心思去管这些。
“暮霖……”趁着没人，谢思雨赶紧进去叫住了他。
当苏暮霖挂掉电话转过身时，谢思雨有片刻怔忪。
几年不见，他看起来不太一样了，以前的苏暮霖虽然看起来清冷，但有时也会显得很温柔，像刚入春的池水，冷冽却也温润。
但现在的苏暮霖却像一块冻了千年的寒冰，身上带着尖锐的冰棱，光是他的眼神，都能把人冻僵在原地。
“暮霖……我真的没办法……你帮帮我好不好，就这一次，我爸爸出事了……看在我们两家这么多年交情的份上……你帮我这一回……”
谢思雨这几年没少跟人用这样的语气说话，但在苏暮霖这里她是第一次。
说不羞耻那肯定是假的，但是她没办法，能求的人她都求遍了，但不知道为什么没人肯帮她，帮他们谢家，苏暮霖是她最后的希望了。
◆ 真相
闻言，苏暮霖却只是把手机攥进手里，他仿佛没看见她，转身就要出去。
谢思雨知道不能让他走，他是她最后的救命稻草了。她张着手臂，径直挡在他面前。
“暮霖，我真的求求你，你想要什么都可以，只要能帮帮我爸爸……他年纪大了，真的受不了折腾……我也不想麻烦你，但是我真的没办法……”以苏暮霖现在的能力，要办到这件事简直轻而易举，所以谢思雨才会不顾一切来求他。
苏暮霖终于停下脚步，他在她面前站定，弯腰用手机挑起她的下巴，仔细打量她。
谢思雨这几年大概不好过。
前几年为了缓解家里的困境找了个富二代嫁了，原本以为能借富二代之手缓解谢家的困局，哪知对方是个不靠谱的，将她娶回家之后又转头在外面养起了小叁，对她娘家的事根本漠不关心。
苏暮霖看着她眼角的细纹和哭得红肿的眼睛，嘴角勾起了一抹浅笑：“不用感谢，这是我应该做的……”
他的话让谢思雨摸不着头脑，她看着他嘴角的笑意，残酷的眼神，突然才反应过来，“是你！”
原来谢家会走到今天，都是他的手笔！怪不得，怪不得苏家这几年突然一跃而上，怪不得没人敢帮她，怪不得他对她一直避而不见……
原来罪魁祸首根本就是他苏暮霖！
“是我还你的。”除了等待那架永远不会降落的飞机，搞垮谢家成了他如今活着的唯一动力，如今这个动力似乎也要消失了。
手机冰冷的外壳从她下巴滑过，残留下的酥麻痛意在刺激着谢思雨的神经。她想问他为什么，脑子里却突然响起被她扔在角落尘封多年的那句话。
“……我的苏暖但凡少了一根汗毛，我要你们谢家陪葬……”
谢思雨猛然转头看向桌面。就在那里，摆着的那个相框里，一个女孩穿着蓝色的连衣裙，笑起来眼睛弯弯的像一轮月牙，嘴角的梨窝甜得叫人挪不开眼。
她第一次见苏暖的时候也惊叹于这个女孩的美貌。她其实继承了苏暮霖的好长相，漂亮得不像话。
为了嫁给苏暮霖，谢思雨一度还想着要去讨好她，可笑的觉得自己能和她成为朋友，一起照顾她的爸爸。
这一切都在书房外的靡靡之音中化成了泡影。
“是因为苏暖？”
谢思雨才知道原来苏暮霖一直把当年的事归咎在她身上，这么多年他一直在报复谢家。
她的话让苏暮霖停住了离开的脚步。
好几年了，没人敢在他面前提起这个名字。时间长得似乎已经把一个人曾经留下的痕迹都淹没掉了，但再次被人触及，才发现记忆里的一切还是那么鲜活。
“……苏暮霖，我们谈个交易吧。”
这几年的经历让谢思雨现实了许多，她很快缓过神，想拿捏苏暮霖的痛处：“你帮我这回，我们过往一切两清。否则我就向媒体曝光你和自己亲生女儿乱伦的事，这样大的新闻到时候你们苏家也别想好过。”
即便苏暖现在不在了，但一个大家族里被暴出父女乱伦的丑闻，更何况是苏氏这种在国内口碑极好的大企业，这种新闻更是致命的打击，谢思雨不信他敢冒这个险。
“曝光？”苏暮霖回头看她，不置可否：“你拿什么曝光？”
“……我有你们当年在书房……的录音和照片……”苏暮霖的眼神咄咄逼人，谢思雨在他的逼视下心跳如鼓，她顿了半晌才把话说完。
“所以。”他盯着谢思雨一步步靠近，直把她逼到角落：“当年你就是这么把她骗上那架飞机的？”
谢思雨在他的眼神和逼问下根本无力招架，她后背紧贴着墙，呼吸急促。
苏暮霖说对了，她根本没有什么照片和录音，她当时太震惊了，压根儿就忘了这件事，这些东西也是她当时跟苏暖摊牌时胡说的。
“我没有……我没有骗她上飞机……”
苏暮霖看着谢思雨的表情还有什么不懂的，他发出一声嗤笑，不知道在笑谢思雨还是在笑那个信了她鬼话的傻姑娘。
他突然觉得此刻的内心空得厉害，许久没有过的空虚感再一次侵袭上来，他转身，挺直的背脊却给人以萧瑟的错觉。
谢思雨看着他离去的背影，心中堂皇。
她知道他这次离开再没有转圜的余地了，以这几年谢家的遭遇来看，他下手没留一丝情面，唯有真的拿出杀手锏才能扭转定局：
“如果我告诉你，苏暖当年没上那架飞机……你能放过谢家吗？”
◆ 教授
苏暖早晨醒来的第一件事就是把床头的窗帘打开，对着窗外的天空，伸出一个大大的懒腰。
今天难得的好天气，太阳把云层都吹散了，下了一夜的雪也停了，阳光投进来映得满床暖哄哄的。
翻身滚下床，穿衣洗漱做早饭，一气呵成。等她背着书包出门时，珍妮才从外面回来，她一身酒气，染得五彩斑斓的头发东倒西歪的，也不知道刚从谁的床上爬起来。
“索菲亚……要是教授点名……记得帮忙……”她进屋前还不忘记嘱咐苏暖。
“知道了……”苏暖把围巾圈在脖子上，半张小脸都被捂住了：“叁明治在桌上，你起来记得吃，我先走了……”
As soon as the door opened, the wind, carrying snowflakes from outside, rushed in, diluting the warmth inside. She slung her backpack over her shoulder and closed the door behind her. The white outside remained unchanged. She stamped her feet before stepping onto the path covered in white snow and ice.
Walking on the snow made a crunching sound, like sinking into a lump of fluffy flour. Walking in the snow required a lot of effort, and my body warmed up quickly.
She was dressed like a snowball today, panting as she walked, her breath evaporating onto her scarf and sticking to her face like icy water vapor. She simply stopped by the roadside, took off her scarf, hung it around her neck, and continued walking.
The snow here hadn't been cleared yet, and she was out of breath after just a few steps. She leaned against the roadside railing, panting, and the pendant on her chest slipped out of her clothes, hanging in front of her and swaying with gravity.
Suddenly falling from the warm clothes into the cold air, the warmth on the pendant instantly condensed into frost. Su Nuan grabbed the pendant and wiped the dampness off the outer shell with her fingers, then hurriedly opened the shell to check inside.
The moment she opened the case, she seemed to be captivated by what was inside the pendant. She stood there blankly by the roadside for a long while before gently wiping away the water droplets with her fingers, closing the case, and stuffing the pendant back into her clothes.
He straightened up and sighed. A white mist filled his vision, seemingly blurring the world before him.
Her arrival here was purely accidental; she had even lost her former name and identity, as if everything could start over.
Life can be restarted, but people seem not to be.
Su Nuan finally emerged from the path and turned onto the main road, where the snow had been cleared away.
For some reason, she always felt that someone was following her, ever since she left home.
She suddenly turned around. Several cars were parked by the roadside, their roofs covered with unmelted snow. Pedestrians walked slowly in twos and threes, wrapped in thick clothes like her, their heads down.
A small flurry of snowflakes was blown off the streetlamp above her, the drifting snowflakes like leaping sprites. Her gaze followed the direction of the drifting snowflakes, but she froze.
Across the street, a man was walking slowly towards them. He was tall and thin, dressed in a long, dark camel coat and a hat. His head was down, and a scarf covered most of his face, making it impossible to see anything.
But even so, she stood frozen by the roadside, staring at him, unable to look away. Su Nuan seemed to be out of control, her eyes wide as she followed the man's steps until he looked up and gave her a strange look.
Deep-set eyes, a hard, angular nose, and golden bangs peeking out from under his hat. A typical Scandinavian look.
The heart that had been hanging in suspense seemed to plummet from the clouds, returning from elation to silence. The moment from expectation to disappointment was the most empty.
Su Nuan shook her head, turned around, and took a few steps with her head down, still amazed at her own stupid reaction. She knew perfectly well that he was thousands of miles away, yet she still felt a flutter of anticipation and excitement for a similar figure.
When I got to the classroom, I found that there were very few people there. Well, it's true, getting up early in this cold weather is a difficult thing.
The professor seemed used to all of this, standing on the podium tidying up the textbooks on the desk, until the bell was about to ring for class, at which point everyone hurriedly took their seats.
The lecture was quite dry, but Su Nuan listened attentively. Perhaps it was because she knew she no longer had the luxury of being willful that she cherished every opportunity she received.
“Next class will be taught by a new professor, and I heard he’s Asian like you…” Jenny, who had just arrived, started gossiping with Su Nuan as soon as she sat down.
Su Nuan didn't care at first, but when she heard that she was Asian, she couldn't help but raise her eyes. This place was small and not exactly a popular destination for studying abroad, so there were very few Asians like her with black hair and yellow skin.
Although she was surprised that an Asian professor would come, she didn't have high expectations.
Even if they are both Asian, he might not be from the same country as her, and even if they are from the same country, they certainly wouldn't know each other. In essence, they are just two strangers, no different from anyone else.
So when the second class started, Su Nuan didn't pay any attention. It wasn't until a gasp rang out around her that she curiously looked up.
The man standing on the platform wore a long, gray-black trench coat. His legs, beneath the coat, were exceptionally long, encased in black trousers, appearing both strong and slender like a pine tree. He was extremely tall and appeared thin, yet not frail.
Unlike the fair skin of Caucasians, he wore a pair of gold-rimmed glasses perched on his high, straight nose. Beneath the glasses were a pair of almond-shaped eyes with upturned corners, and his eyelashes were so long that they drooped slightly. The upturned eyes revealed his classic sclera (the whites of his eyes are visible below the iris), which concealed his originally gentle temperament and revealed a sharpness that was hard to ignore.
For a moment, Su Nuan forgot to breathe; a sharp, piercing buzzing sound seemed to ring in her ears…
◆ Migraine
Since arriving in this city, Su Nuan has been experiencing frequent headaches.
It's probably because she never likes to dry her hair after washing it. Since no one helps her dry her hair, she always walks around indoors with her hair half-wet.
Jenny, who grew up in Eastern Europe, would sometimes remind her, "You're going to get migraines easily if you keep doing this." But Su Nuan continued to do as she pleased, as if many things had become less important after leaving Su Mulin.
Including health.
As soon as the autumn wind starts to blow, it feels like countless tiny thorns have been pierced into my temples, provoking my fragile nerves and bringing a throbbing pain along with tinnitus.
Strangely, she often experienced all of this in her dreams. Fueled by pain, she would always dream of him.
In her dreams, he was always there, either sitting in the study or in her room. His warm, broad embrace always enveloped her completely, and she could almost smell his scent.
The delicate fragrance of bamboo, along with his warm masculine scent, became an unforgettable memory for her.
But none of this felt real. Whenever she tried to smell it more closely, the throbbing in her temples intensified, forcibly pulling her out of her dream and forcing her to face reality.
It turned out that what was covering her was just a cashmere blanket, not the man in her dream who exuded a cool fragrance and a sense of security.
Even so, she had come to somewhat like the headache, like a hallucinogen, a bittersweet experience.
This has probably become a conditioned reflex. So when that sharp cry rang out, the throbbing in my temples began.
She felt as if she had returned to a dream, and the pain that started with the tinnitus moved to her temples. For the first time, she truly felt her eyes become swollen and hot.
But she dared not blink, her eyes fixed on the person on the stage, afraid that the pain would pull her out of the dream again.
"...Sophia?"
Jenny bumped her elbow, and Su Nuan's strange expression surprised not only Jenny but also the classmates next to her, who couldn't help but turn around to look at her.
The girl, who is usually as low-key as a rabbit, was now stiffening her neck and staring wide-eyed at the big black eyes. Even though her eyes were red and watery, she stubbornly refused to blink.
"The professor is calling you..."
These words suddenly entered Su Nuan's ears, which were filled with chirping sounds, like a dull thud that shattered her hazy dream.
She stood up hastily, forgetting the occasion, and looked at the man with teary eyes, murmuring the words she had told him countless times in her heart:
"Dad...I'm sorry..."
The man on the podium stared back at her expressionlessly. Behind his glasses, his dark eyes seemed to reflect the snow outside the window, and something flickered slightly in his eyes.
After a moment, he spoke in fluent English: "If you don't know how to use Scandinavian languages yet, you are allowed to use English."
Su Nuan stood there, staring blankly at him. She twisted two fingers together, looking completely lost.
“…What are you saying?” Almost no one here understands Chinese. Jenny tugged at her sleeve and whispered a reminder: “The professor is taking attendance. You just need to answer him.”
Su Nuan's heart seemed to stop beating for a moment. She wondered if the feeling that suffocated her was a kind of disappointment.
She stood there, forcing all her emotions out of her body, only to find that everyone in the classroom was staring at her curiously.
Including the man on stage.
Unlike her intense emotions, he simply stood there, looking at her calmly, as if he didn't really know her.

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