Soul Lost in the Yellow River - Incest Novel

"Seventy-six years ago, I was born in a small village on the banks of the Yellow River. Of course, not here. My hometown is very, very far away, farther than you can imagine." "My home is very close to the Yellow River, and its roaring roar was my childhood lullaby. My father was a renowned boatman, and I was his only son. During his many years on the front lines, he had faced death more than once. He couldn't bear to let me go boating again, and wouldn't even allow me to board his boat, look at it, or touch it. Therefore, unlike most families, I didn't follow in my father's footsteps. Instead, I started working in the fields at the age of six, and by fifteen, I was already a skilled farmer." "Fifteen is a strange age. People call young people at this age 'half-grown boys,' meaning they're practically adults. At this age, people begin to understand everything, yet they don't quite grasp it, and they're curious about everything. For example, sex, and women and men." "The morning after my first nocturnal emission, I went to work in the fields listlessly. While resting on the edge of the field, Yin Laosi, whose field was right next to mine, came over to borrow a light for his pipe. He was three years older than me, already married, and had just had a son a few months prior. We usually got along well, so I nervously told him about the strange thing I'd noticed that morning. He laughed heartily, and then, through the rising smoke, told me everything about being a real man." "At that moment, my shock was indescribable. I realized that the world hidden behind morality and chastity was like this. That such things, so wonderful, could make one lose their mind and all thought, existed in this world." "I began to recall everything from my dream last night. Yes, the feeling was so exhilarating. I felt my blood rushing through my body. My penis involuntarily swelled, bulging from my crotch, stubbornly trying to burst through the coarse cloth trousers that bound it. Yin Laosi noticed my abnormality, laughed, tapped my penis shaft with his pipe, and got up and left." "I sat alone in the field until dusk before slowly carrying my hoe home. My mother was preparing dinner and, seeing my absent-minded appearance, pressed me for an explanation. I mumbled a reply and stretched out on the kang (heated brick bed) to rest." "My mother, on her bound feet, bustled about on the ground. It was summer, and her sweat-soaked clothes clearly outlined the contours of her full breasts, which trembled slightly with her movements. Watching her slightly plump waist and hips sway beneath her trousers, I suddenly realized for the first time that she wasn't just my mother; she was a woman. Her body suddenly possessed a powerful allure, holding my gaze for a long time." "I remembered what my fourth brother had told me during the day, and the strange sounds I'd heard countless nights. Did she and my father do such things in the dark? I couldn't help but imagine what happened in that darkness." "The answer to this question came quickly. After a hasty dinner, since poor families couldn't afford lamps, we went to bed early." Three people slept on one kang (a heated brick bed). I lay on the kang, tossing and turning, unable to sleep, feeling as if I were waiting for something, yet not knowing what it was. Time gradually passed, and I began to feel drowsy, my mind a blur, slowly sinking into dreams. "Suddenly, I heard Dad whisper, 'Is Baowa asleep?' I jolted awake, quickly pretending to snore." "'Asleep, snoring away.' It was Mom who spoke. Dad said 'Oh,' and after a moment, there was a slight rustling sound in the darkness, like mice scurrying about. Dad's breathing suddenly became heavy." "'Save your energy, we have work to do tomorrow.' Mom said to Dad, then suddenly I heard her hum, breathing softly." "I opened my eyes, and the faint moonlight shone through the window paper. I saw two blurry figures overlapping and rolling in the darkness, casting blue shadows on the wall. I could even make out that Mother was below and Father was above, his strong arms pressing down on Mother, one hand grasping her breasts, kneading something like dough. Mother's body was wrapped around Father like a snake, her legs shamelessly spread wide, exposing her fertile field to the outside sky, and Father was tilling that field, each stroke of the hoe digging deep." "The sounds of commotion grew louder, and their breathing became more rapid. Mother couldn't help but cry out: 'Dear brother... dear man... you're making me feel so good... I can't live anymore... I'm going to die...'" "Father was panting heavily, making a noise that could lift the roof off, and I could even clearly hear the slapping sound of flesh hitting flesh! Mother desperately tried to hold back her sobs, making a crying sound from her throat, 'Ah... ah... brother...'" "Pinch me here...rub it for me...dear brother...good brother...rub it for your little sister...ah...ah...big stick is killing your little sister...thrust...thrust it in...ah...ah..." "I'm going crazy: This is my mother! This is my own mother! These words came from the mouth of my mother, who almost never speaks to other men in the village! So slutty, so wanton, so shameless! The feeling of boiling blood in the fields during the day returned to my body once again, my penis jumped out of my crotch, throbbing painfully. I held it in my hand and found that it was much bigger, thicker, harder, and hotter than usual." "Driven by some unknown force, I subconsciously stroked it a few times, and suddenly an unprecedented feeling came from the glans, like a cone shooting straight to the top of my head, violently hitting my heart, and I started to move wildly. Yes, this is the feeling in my dream last night, like a bird flying freely in the sky, or as if I was immersed in a river of flowing hot water and drifting with the current, this is what I have been waiting for!" "Father went even harder, and Mother couldn't even speak. She just groaned and cried out intermittently, kicking her legs wildly on the kang (a heated brick bed), kicking away the tattered quilt. Father rolled the quilt into a ball and placed it under Mother's waist, raising her plump, white buttocks high. He reached one hand between her legs, and Mother tried to push him away, 'No... don't touch there... it's dirty...' Father shook off her hand and stubbornly reached into that place. Suddenly, she screamed, piercing through the roof tiles and into the night sky outside, no longer caring whether I could hear her or not." "She howled like a bitch in heat, her legs raised, feet pointing skyward, arms wrapped around her father's neck. He pounded his penis into her like a pile driver, his throat gurgling. I masturbated, my hands moving faster, feeling dizzy, like I was in a dream, yet knowing it wasn't. I wanted to stop, but my hands wouldn't obey, moving faster and faster, like a driverless cart hurtling towards a cliff, finally plunging uncontrollably." "The moment of collapse arrived. A massive wave of pleasure washed over me, completely overwhelming me. My testicles trembled, I shuddered, and semen gushed from my body, covering the bed in a sticky mess." "Just then, my father suddenly roared, and my mother cried out desperately, 'Don't pull out… wait for me…' My father tried his best to continue, and finally, not long after, my mother finished too. The two embraced." They stood stiff. A grinding sound of teeth clenching echoed in the darkness. Slowly, they slumped down. Mother pulled the blanket from beneath them and covered them both tightly. "After the climax comes exhaustion. After the initial wave of excitement, the mind is immersed in a deep sleep. I felt weak all over, and lying in bed with my eyes closed, I realized I was covered in sweat. Just as I was about to fall asleep, I suddenly heard Mother talking to Father." "'Brother, your health isn't what it used to be. You work hard rowing the boat during the day, so we'll reduce the number of nights we go to bed. Your health is important.'" "'Hua, I'm not afraid, I'm just afraid you won't be able to endure it. Thirty is like a wolf, forty like a tiger, fifty can suck the earth dry. You're even more craving it now than before, can I just watch you suffer?'" "'What's a little suffering for me? You've been out there all alone, braving the wind and rain, suffering far more. We've been running around for so many years, enduring so much hardship to build this family. If something were to happen to you... how could I live? Sigh. If I hadn't insisted on you doing it so Dad would have seen, he wouldn't have died of anger...' Mother sobbed." "'Don't cry, Hua, don't cry. It wasn't your fault, it was mine. I forced you first. Twenty years have passed, why are you still so upset? I'm a beast, a brother sleeping with his own sister, what father wouldn't be furious? More than twenty years have passed, we'll soon be meeting our parents in the afterlife. Whether you're boiled in oil or have your tongue pulled out, I'll take responsibility for you. Go to sleep, don't think about it.'" "'No, I should take responsibility for you. That day, when Mom and Dad weren't home, I deliberately changed into nice clothes to seduce you so you could sleep with me. A sister seducing her own brother, I'm more shameless than Pan Jinlian. Brother, you must take care of yourself.'" "When it's time to go down, I'll go down first and plead with the King of Hell..." Mother's voice abruptly stopped, as if Father had covered her mouth with his hand. "Don't talk about this anymore, go to sleep. Life is long. Baowa isn't married yet, so we'll have to wait and see before we leave.""See your grandson before you leave, okay?" "Mother didn't speak, but probably nodded. The room quieted down, and soon Father's even snoring filled the air, interspersed with Mother's breaths, rising and falling like a harmonious chorus." "I was stunned for a long time. The things revealed in their conversation didn't bring me back to my senses until dawn: My parents, they were actually siblings!" "This fact shocked me no less than when I first learned about incest. My parents, they were an incestuous brother and sister, and I was the product of that incest! I couldn't sleep anymore. The next day, I was like a sleepwalker. When I went to work in the fields, I would stop halfway, lean on my hoe, and stand there, thinking about everything that had happened the night before, thinking about Mother and Father's words: 'The brother slept with his sister,' 'The sister seduced her brother.'" "The next few days were like that every day." I couldn't accept this fact. My parents seemed much stranger to me. They were no longer the strict father and kind mother they once were, but rather like an adulterous couple. My mind was filled with the blurry images of their naked bodies entwined together at night. Although they seemed no different from before, their words and actions had become inexplicably strange to me. "I still went to bed early every day, but I went to bed later and later, waiting to eavesdrop on my parents' passionate encounter. Of course, I couldn't hear it every day, but every time I did, I was unusually excited. The pleasure during masturbation was much stronger than usual. I don't know why. Perhaps it's because I'm a product of incest, and I'm naturally sensitive to and identify with incestuous behavior." "I started paying attention to my mother's every move. My mother's figure was as full as any woman her age, especially her breasts and buttocks. Every tremor of her breasts and buttocks when she worked or walked gave me visual stimulation. I often had this image in my mind: my mother naked, her snow-white flesh dazzlingly swaying her full breasts and plump buttocks before my eyes." "Soon, Mother noticed my unusual behavior—my face was dark due to mental confusion caused by prolonged stress and lack of sleep. Perhaps she had guessed that I had overheard their intimate moments, but she didn't know I had heard something even more secret. She began discussing with Father the need to find me a wife." "That autumn, after the harvest, my parents started arranging marriages for me. The matchmaker confidently patted her chest on the edge of the kang (heated brick bed), saying she would take care of it, but finding a wife for a poor family wasn't so easy! After traveling all over the surrounding villages, finally, just before winter approached, they found a family willing to marry their daughter to them. It was from a village thirty miles away. The girl wasn't bad-looking, she could work, and most importantly, she didn't ask for too much dowry. After the engagement banquet, they agreed to hold the wedding during the New Year." "From then on, the weather grew colder day by day, the Yellow River froze, and Father couldn't go out to row the boat anymore, so he and Mother stayed home to prepare for my wedding." "My father had been rowing boats for over twenty years, saving up a little money, but it was still barely enough for the wedding. He had to borrow money from all sides, sometimes traveling dozens of miles just to get a small amount. Even so, by the time the Laba Festival was over, there was still a sum of money missing, and there was no way to get it. My father was so worried that dozens of hairs turned white. He was anxious and restless, running around everywhere, but he was met with setbacks everywhere." "One day, he went out and didn't come back all night. My mother and I were worried sick, afraid that something had happened to him, so we didn't dare to close our eyes all night, sitting on the kang waiting for him. When he returned at dawn, he was disheveled, with dark circles under his eyes, but his face was full of joy. My mother went to greet him, brushing the dust off his clothes, and asked him with concern where he had been all night. My father tremblingly took out a cloth bag from his bosom, opening it layer by layer. When he lifted the last layer, my mother and I were suddenly shocked." "'A silver dollar!' my mother exclaimed." Yes, there was indeed a gleaming silver dollar wrapped in the cloth bag in Dad's hand. "Dad, where did you get this?" Mom asked anxiously, "You haven't done anything heinous, have you?" Dad proudly rewrapped the silver dollar and handed it to Mom, unable to contain his joy, saying, "What are you thinking? Even if we're poor, we can't do anything heinous. Do you know where this money came from? I won it at Boss Qiao's place. One night, one silver dollar! One silver dollar!" Mom held the silver dollar, her hands trembling. "Boss Qiao was a notorious scoundrel. His house was a gambling den. Every day, many gamblers would gamble there all night long, and many would lose everything in a single night. Often, people would bet their houses, land, and even their wives. I never imagined that my always honest and hardworking father would go to a gambling den, and actually win money." "Mother's face didn't show much joy. After putting the money away, she said to Father, 'Father, if we really can't get the money, we can talk to them. I think they're reasonable people and won't make things too difficult for us. As for Old Master Qiao's family, we shouldn't go. What if we lose...' Father waved his hand to interrupt her, saying, 'I'm sure we won't lose. We may be poor, but we can't lose face when it comes to getting a wife.' Mother wanted to say something more, but Father had already gone into the inner room and lay down on the kang (heated brick bed) to sleep. For several nights in a row, Father would return home excitedly at dawn, exhausted, with a cloth bag in his arms containing one or two silver dollars. The look of worry would vanish from his face. Every day, he would excitedly count with Mother how much they still needed and how many more days it would take to raise the money. It was as if life had suddenly become incredibly wonderful. I had never seen such a happy expression on his face in the past fifteen years." "But on the morning of the seventh day, when Dad came home, his lips were purple from the cold. As soon as he entered the door, he rushed to the stove, squatted down, and shivered as he warmed himself by the fire. His old sheepskin coat was nowhere to be seen. Mom quickly added firewood to the stove and brought a quilt to wrap around Dad. It took a long time for Dad to recover." "'Dad, what's wrong? Where's your coat?' Mom asked anxiously." "'I lost...' Dad drank half a ladle of hot water and uttered these two words in frustration, then fell silent." "After Dad warmed up, he lay down on the kang (a heated brick bed) and slept for a whole day. Mom called him to eat, but he wouldn't eat. When the sun went down, Dad got up from the kang, his face grim, stuffed two cold steamed buns into his pocket, and was about to go out again. Mom stopped him at the door, 'Dad, don't go. I've seen enough money. Money won from gambling won't last long. How can you win every day?'" "I followed my mother and stopped my father, saying, 'Father, I'll talk to Lan Cao's family tomorrow and ask them to give us some leeway...' Before I could finish, my father roared, 'What do you know, you little brat!' He shoved me aside and walked towards the door. My mother grabbed his arm, but he flung her aside, and she stumbled and fell into my arms. My father left without looking back and disappeared into the darkness." "I held my mother, her head resting on my strong chest. For the first time, I felt a man's innate protective instinct towards a woman. Although this woman was my mother, she was first and foremost a woman. This desire made me want to just hold her like this, let her lean on me, the longer the better. She didn't say a word, just stared blankly out the door, tears gradually welling up in her eyes and spreading across her face. Finally, it was completely dark. I helped my mother into the house. She sat blankly on the kang (a heated brick bed), and no matter how I tried to persuade her, she just wouldn't speak." "For fifteen years, her brother and her husband never laid a finger on her or uttered a single word of abuse. You can imagine how much she was hurt this time. I saw that I couldn't persuade my mother to stop, so I wanted to go to Old Master Qiao's house and forcibly drag my father back. My mother refused to let me go, saying, 'Let your father go. He'll learn his lesson from this. If he doesn't learn his lesson, he'll never turn back. This is a good thing.'" "That night, my father lost two more silver dollars. When he came back, he stole the only piece of jewelry my mother had brought from her parents' home—the silver ring she had prepared for her new wife—and exchanged it for wine. He got completely drunk. This was the first time I had ever seen him drink. After waking up, my father ransacked the place and found the silver dollars my mother had hidden, then went to the casino again. My mother had hoped that my father would learn his lesson from this loss, so she didn't try to stop him, but she was wrong." "From then on, Dad's face grew increasingly grim when he came home each day, his eyes became more bloodshot, and his temper worsened. This once poor but warm home became something he found utterly repulsive. He became addicted to alcohol, always reeking of it. When drunk, he would act out, arguing with Mom on some pretext, sometimes even hitting her. After drinking his fill, he would go to the casino to gamble." "When Mom hid the money, he would search high and low, turning the house upside down. If he couldn't find any money, he would take the New Year's goods we had prepared and exchange them for gambling. The more he lost, the more he gambled, and the more he gambled, the more he lost, until he had lost more and more. Dad sold off all the New Year's goods, and on New Year's Eve, Mom and I could only afford some gluten soup." "Not only the New Year's goods, but anything of value was taken by Dad to exchange for alcohol and gambling stakes. The house, which was originally sparsely furnished, gradually revealed its bare walls. Naturally, my marriage was ruined because of this. When the bride's family returned the betrothal gifts, they said that if Dad quit gambling, there was still room for negotiation within a year." "As soon as the bride's family left, my father took the betrothal gifts, exchanged them for alcohol, and then plunged headlong into the casino. He..."The speed at which he lost money accelerated, from one or at most two silver dollars a day to at least three. In just a few days, he had lost all the silver dollars he had saved and borrowed. Then he started cheating everyone he could, borrowing money from them. Because of his former good reputation, he could borrow money at first, but soon people knew about his gambling, and he couldn't borrow any more. He started stealing chickens and dogs. "Father rarely stayed home at night anymore, and even when he did, he slept soundly. I could no longer hear the sounds of him and Mother making love. On moonlit nights, I often heard Mother sighing and sobbing softly, tossing and turning on the kang (heated brick bed), unable to sleep, and waking up the next day to find her eyes swollen. Sometimes, I could hear Mother's soft, rapid breathing and moans, like mice scurrying across the other side of the kang. I had an urge to crawl across that short distance to her side, to hold her, and comfort her. This urge burned within me like a fire, and every night I had to fight against it." "My mother and I were plunged into immense suffering. After my father gambled away money, he used my mother as a punching bag. He would often beat her for the smallest thing when he was drunk, as if she weren't his wife of over ten years, but a sworn enemy. Shoes, cleaning rods, shovel handles... he would grab whatever he could find, often beating my mother half to death. After the beating, my mother still had to cook for him. If there was no wine during the meal, she would be beaten again." "Although I was strong and healthy, I was only fifteen years old, and my father had been a boatman for twenty years. I couldn't stop his fists. I could only watch helplessly as my mother suffered. Her screams when she was beaten felt like knives tearing at my heart and lungs. I hated myself for not being stronger so I could protect my mother." "That day, I went out to borrow some rice to cook. When I came back, I saw my mother lying on the kang (a heated brick bed), groaning, blood flowing from the corner of her mouth, tears streaming down her face from the pain. She had obviously been beaten by my father. I quickly put down the rice, climbed onto the kang, and went to my mother's side." Just as I was about to say something, Mother grabbed my hand tightly. She was in excruciating pain and wanted something to hold onto, something to ease the psychological pain. Perhaps she was unconscious, but for me, the moment our hands touched felt like a thunderbolt. "My hand trembled, and Mother groaned, 'Let me hold your hand for a while.' Suddenly, the woman I had been longing for day and night saw me as her support, and a sense of pride and responsibility welled up within me. I held Mother's hands with both of mine, as if I were cradling her entire body in my palms, protecting her tightly. The tighter I held her, the safer she felt." "It wasn't until dark that Mother recovered and released my hands, saying with difficulty, 'Baby, boil some water for me to apply to my body; I'm in so much pain.'" "I responded and quickly boiled a pot of water, poured it into a wooden basin, and placed it on the stove in front of the kang (heated brick bed). Mother told me to turn my face away and took off her clothes, leaving her only in a red undergarment." I turned around and saw my mother's nearly half-naked body and her truly full breasts and buttocks, and I was stunned for a moment. Seeing me staring at her, she seemed to realize something, her face flushed, and she quickly lay down on the kang (heated brick bed), urging me to quickly apply a hot compress with a towel. "I wet the towel, wrung it out, and applied it to the dark bruises on my mother's body. My hand accidentally touched her armpit near her breast, and she shuddered, her legs rubbing together slightly." "I noticed this reaction. When I changed the towel, it got cold, and I deliberately touched that spot again. My mother shuddered again. There were no marks there, so it couldn't be from pain. The only possibility was that my mother's body had become unusually sensitive due to prolonged arousal. This discovery filled me with a strange excitement. The third time I changed the towel, I used the excuse of applying the compress to boldly untie the straps of my mother's undergarment at the back. My mother tilted her head, as if she wanted to say something, but ultimately remained silent." "My mother's back was completely exposed before me. The smoothness of her skin and the stimulation of a woman made my heart pound, and a tingling sensation ran through my chest. Her body also warmed up under my touch, not just because of the hot towel. I suppressed the urge to do more, finished applying the hot towel to her wounds, tied her undergarment, cleaned her up, and then blew out the lamp and went to sleep. That night, neither my mother nor I slept well. Soft, long sighs could be heard from her from time to time." "Whether my mother sensed my feelings or not, she often asked me to apply hot compresses to her, and the time became longer and longer. From her back to her arms to her thighs. Although she was still being beaten, she no longer cried as much as before." "My father's drinking and gambling addiction grew worse. Sometimes he would win some money, but more often he lost. To pay off his gambling and drinking debts, he sold almost everything in the house. By March of that year, the house was practically bare." By then, the Yellow River had thawed, but Dad showed no intention of going out to row a boat to earn money, nor did he go with me to the fields to collect fertilizer and prepare for spring planting. He was still struggling with gambling and drinking. "That night, I came back from the fields and had just entered the yard when I heard Mom crying. My heart sank, and I put down my hoe and rushed into the house. I saw Dad carrying a bag of cornmeal on his shoulder, about to leave, with Mom holding him back tightly, crying, 'If you sell the grain, what will we eat, brother!'" "Hearing 'brother,' Dad's body trembled, and countless memories flooded his mind. He stopped in his tracks. I seized the opportunity to grab the cornmeal from him, put it back, and stood beside Mom. The muscles in Dad's face twitched, countless expressions flashing through his mind in an instant. I looked at his face: dark and thin, tired, old, full of wrinkles, with an unshaven beard and sunken eyes. I suddenly felt a great distance between myself and this person, as if this was not my father, but a complete stranger I had never met." "Dad stood there for a while, then suddenly stamped his foot, sighed heavily, rushed to the kang (a heated brick bed), grabbed the last remaining quilt, rolled it up, tucked it under his arm, and walked out. I was shocked and went to stop him, saying, 'Dad, if you sell the quilt, how will my mother and I sleep tonight?'" "Dad glared at me and said, 'It's not the dead of winter, what do you need a quilt for? Get out of my way!'" "I got anxious and said, 'Dad, stop gambling. Let's live a good life. You row the boat, I'll farm, and we'll take good care of Mom. Our family is already in such a state; if you keep gambling, we really won't be able to survive.'" "Dad got even angrier and roared, 'You jinx, you're always getting in my way! If I can't win, I'll beat you to death when I get back, you little bastard!'" "He started to rush out, and I grabbed his arm and pulled him back. Dad punched me in the face, and my head spun. My pent-up anger exploded, and I kicked Dad in the stomach. He staggered, almost falling, and threw down the quilt, yelling and lunging at me, starting a fight." "Mom screamed and rushed between us, trying to separate us. But a woman's strength was no match for two men fighting so fiercely. In the chaos, Dad punched her in the chin, and she collapsed unconscious." "I was startled. I let go of Dad to check on Mom's injuries. Dad took the opportunity to kick me in the back, knocking me down next to Mom, then grabbed the quilt and ran out of the house." "I didn't chase after Dad. I endured the pain and carried Mom to the bed, gave her a bowl of hot water, and pinched her philtrum. Dad took the quilt, so I covered her with a tattered piece of clothing." Not long after, Mother let out a soft "hmm," exhaled, stirred, and opened her eyes. I lifted her head, placed the broken porcelain bowl to her lips, and offered her water. "Mother shook her head, pushed the bowl away, blew out the oil lamp, and in the darkness said, 'Sleep.'" "I lay on the cold kang (heated brick bed), the tattered mat without a mattress mercilessly absorbing every bit of warmth from my body. I thought of that cotton quilt; it emitted a musty, aged smell. This wasn't because Mother was too lazy to wash it, but because it couldn't be washed at all; any water would surely ruin it. Though old and moldy, it was still a cotton quilt." "In the dead of night during a late spring chill, I covered myself with all my clothes, huddled together, shivering in the biting wind seeping in from all sides of the dilapidated house. I fell asleep several times, only to wake up freezing. I could even hear my teeth chattering." "It wasn't just my teeth chattering in the room; I could clearly hear it coming from the other end of the kang (heated brick bed). Mother was cold too, and couldn't sleep. Interspersed with the chattering was low sobbing, and it wasn't just from the cold. Mother's cries were like cat claws tearing at my heart, making me so agitated I wanted to rip my chest apart. I didn't want to hear her cry anymore, because that would truly break my heart. I threw off my clothes and crawled into the darkness on the other side of the kang." "'Baowa, aren't you asleep?' Mother stopped crying when she heard the noise." "'Mother, are you cold?' I answered irrelevantly." "'Mother isn't cold, you should go to sleep; you have to go to the fields tomorrow.'" "'Mother, let me move closer to you; I'm afraid you'll catch a cold. I'm young and strong; if we squeeze together, we won't be cold.'" As I spoke, I climbed halfway across the kang (a heated brick bed), placed my pillow next to my mother's, and lay down. A warm, feminine fragrance wafted towards me. My mother shifted slightly, stopped sobbing, and handed me her clothes.I covered myself with several layers, and my mother's body heat seeped through the clothes to my skin, instantly warming me. This warmth stirred my sleepiness, and I drifted off to sleep without realizing it. "After what seemed like an eternity, I felt something wriggling in my arms. I suddenly awoke with a start, opening my eyes to find myself still surrounded by darkness. The feeling in my arms grew even more real. A soft, warm body nestled against me, constantly tightening its embrace!" "I suddenly realized I was on my own kang (heated brick bed), and that body must be my mother! I could tell she had covered me with all her clothes, while she herself was freezing, cold and sleepy, her consciousness already blurred. Feeling a warm, living person beside her, she instinctively moved closer, wanting to warm herself, completely forgetting that this was her son." "My heart skipped a beat, and countless thoughts raced through my mind. Should I warn her? If I did, that soft, warm body would leave my arms. No, absolutely not." What I should have done was hold her tighter. I stretched out an arm and pulled my mother even closer to me. But to my surprise, she stretched out an arm and hugged me back! "Like a stone thrown into still water, my defenses crumbled instantly. My mother breathed softly in my arms, her body wriggling against me like a warm, fragrant jade. 'Brother, brother,' she murmured dreamily. I knew she mistook me for my father. I almost gave in, almost going along with it and having sex with her. But deep down, a sliver of reason seemed to be telling me I couldn't do it." "It shouted at me: 'If you do this with your mother as your father, she will regret it when she sobers up. The only way to prevent her from regretting it is to make her realize that she is having sex with you! Because if she does this with you when she's sober, it means she truly loves you, her son, as a man!' Yes, I am a man too. Why should I use another man's name to bring pleasure to the woman I love?" "I made up my mind and nudged my mother in my arms: 'Mother, Mother, wake up, it's me, Baowa. Mother, wake up.' My mother seemed to be delirious. I nudged her for a long time before she gradually came to her senses. She suddenly realized that she and her son were tightly embracing each other on the kang (heated brick bed). My mother shuddered and reached out to push me away. But my arms only tightened around her. Her warm, full body made my blood rush, and I was oblivious to the cold. My lower body quickly became erect because of the tightness between our bodies, pressing hard against her lower abdomen." "My mother was a little panicked and tried to push away the arm that was holding her. As she pushed me away, she said, 'Baowa, let go of Mother.'" "I pushed her hand away, put my head close to her ear, tried to regulate my breathing, and said in a trembling voice, 'Mother, it's cold. I'm holding you, it's warm.'" "My mother gasped and said, 'I'm not cold, let go.'" “I said, ‘Mother, you’re cold, I know you’re cold. Father isn’t here, you want someone to hold you so you can warm up.’ As I spoke, I slipped a hand under her clothes.” “Mother suddenly struggled and cried out, ‘Child, I’m your mother!’” “‘My father is your brother.’ I regretted the words as soon as they left my mouth, but it was too late. Mother trembled and stopped struggling, and I stopped what I was doing. An unbearable silence fell over the room.” “After a long while, Mother broke the silence, asking in a trembling voice, ‘Who…who told you this?’” “‘It was you.’ I said, ‘Mother, I overheard what you said to Father in the middle of the night.’” “Mother fell silent again. I said, ‘Mother, I know you want a man to hold you, to touch you…’” “‘Nonsense!’” "Mother interrupted me, about to say something, but I preemptively said, 'Mother, stop lying to yourself. If you didn't want someone to hold you, would you secretly sigh in the middle of the night? Do you think I don't know why you always ask me to apply hot compresses to you?'" "Mother was speechless for a moment, probably because I hit the nail on the head. I continued, 'Mother, I am your son, but you've already married your own brother. Are you afraid of going through that again? Father is in that state now; he beats and scolds you. He doesn't treat you like his own wife anymore. He's not the brother you had twenty years ago. Now, your son wants to cherish you, wants to love you. Can't you see that? What's the difference between being with your own brother and being with your own son? Mother, I don't want to be your son; I want to be your man. I know you want that too.' Saying this, I mustered my courage and leaned in to kiss her on the cheek." "To my surprise, Mother didn't resist. I continued, 'Mother, didn't you also say that Father's health isn't good? You can't suffer like this all by yourself.'" "You're not afraid anymore, and I can help Dad share the burden. Mom, are you just lying to yourself? You've clearly wanted it for a long time, haven't you?" "Mom didn't speak, but began to sob softly again. I didn't dare make any further moves, just held her like that, but she didn't try to pull away from my arms." "We held each other for a while, then suddenly a strong wind blew in from outside, and the room became bitterly cold. Mom's body shifted, and I immediately felt her moving closer to me. I was startled, and then I heard Mom say from inside my arms, 'Baby, Mom is cold. Mom and baby will be warmer together.'" "It took me a few seconds to understand what she meant, and a surge of joy suddenly welled up inside me, leaving me completely flustered. Mom started breathing heavily, and her body became hot in my arms." "In the darkness, instinctively, I found Mom's mouth perfectly. I held her head and tremblingly brought my mouth to hers. The breath she exhaled smelled so sweet." My lips first touched her nose, then moved downwards to find her mouth. Our four moist lips met and stuck together firmly. My mother's tongue, like a little snake, slipped between her teeth, entwining my tongue and swirling in her mouth. Saliva flowed down my throat. "I rolled over and pinned my mother beneath me, one hand groping to unbutton her clothes. My fingers moved, and her cotton-padded jacket, her undershirt, and her undershirt were all undone, leaving only her bodice. My mother took it off herself and tossed it aside." "I lay on my mother's chest, greedily inhaling her scent. I grabbed one of her large, white breasts in each hand, sucking on her nipples—soft, tender—wanting to bite them off completely and chew them. I actually opened my mouth and started nibbling at her breasts, saliva dripping onto her chest. My mother moaned softly." "I got up, took off my shirt, revealing my strong muscles, and lay on top of my mother. Our flesh trembled at the touch, pressed together, as if we wanted to melt into each other. Soft against hard, smooth against rough, strong against gentle." "'Mother, you like men to caress you, I'll caress you!' My voice was hoarse. I started to caress, my hands gripping my mother's breasts tightly, flesh overflowing from between my fingers. Those two mounds of flesh darted around like water, my hands always slipping away, then grabbing them again, the warmth from my hands reaching my heart." "My mother moaned softly, her legs clamping together, rubbing back and forth, her hand slipping inside my pants, somehow unbuckling my red belt, pulling my pants down completely. My engorged erection sprang out, as if roaring, looking for an opponent to attack, but was gently grasped by a cool little hand, and I obediently began to enjoy the caress." It felt like water splashed into hot oil; my whole body exploded, all my strength concentrated on one point, yet I couldn't find an outlet. "I trembled as I tried to untie my mother's pants, but I couldn't untie the knot in her belt. My mother reached out with one hand, and with a few deft movements, she opened the last barrier. A woman's belt is always tied very tightly, but sometimes it can be loose." "My mother's pants were also loose, because not only was I pulling them down, she was doing it herself, easily pulling them down to below her knees. An unseen force guided me, leading me to a place where the mountains were high, the water was long, and the grass was incredibly tender and lush. My mother's fluids flowed all over the kang mat. My mother's vagina was even plumper than her breasts, forming a thin slit, bulging and swollen. My thing was about to burst in my mother's hands; she guided it, leading it to the spring." "'Quick...quick, take the big stick and shove it into Mother...' my mother cried out in a trembling voice." "But the rod was too big. I tried to push it in several times, but it wouldn't go in. 'Mom can't take it anymore, push... push...' Mom cried out in pain, kicking off her pants at her ankles and spreading her legs wide open, as wide as they could possibly go, but it still wouldn't go in. I tried to pry open Mom's vagina with my hands, but my hands were wet and slippery, so I couldn't find a place to touch it. I accidentally pulled off a few of Mom's pubic hairs, and Mom's vaginal muscles trembled, opening wider again." "I had an idea. I put the end of the rod up, put Mom's legs on my shoulders, rubbed Mom's breasts with one hand, and pinched Mom's pubic hair with the other. When Mom wasn't paying attention, I suddenly pulled hard. Mom screamed, her breasts shaking with pain, and cursed: 'You bastard, you're pulling my mother's cunt...' Before she could finish her sentence, I had already taken advantage of that moment when it opened and thrust in with all my might. No matter what the person beneath me was like, I was determined to get in."“‘Agh!’ Mother screamed in agony, almost crying, her body twisting wildly. I hardened my heart, arched my back, and slowly pushed the half-inserted rod inside until my testicles pressed against her vaginal walls. Her insides were slippery and full of fluid, tightly enveloping me, as if some force was sucking me in.” “I held Mother, but didn’t know what to do down there. At that moment, Mother endured the pain and moved her hips up and down a few times, holding my buttocks. I suddenly understood something, and my waist involuntarily began to move back and forth, thrusting the rod in and out of Mother’s vagina. I couldn’t control my body and went faster and faster. Mother screamed wildly beneath me, talking nonsense. Her legs struggled and kicked wildly on the mat.” "My whole body felt like it was flying. My mother was like a lucky cloud beneath my feet, carrying me upwards. My mother and I embraced each other naked, rising into our own paradise amidst the cold wind seeping in through countless gaps. The spring chill was biting, but our naked bodies were burning hot, covered in sweat, colliding and merging with each other. In the end, we forgot we even had bodies, feeling only that all our consciousness was enveloped by pleasure emanating from somewhere, like fish swimming in boiling water." "When everything reached its peak, my mind went blank, and I only heard my mother's heart-wrenching cry: 'You're killing me!' My lower body was submerged by a flood, and my waist, which I had just regained, convulsed, erupting from within my body like a raging wave, whipping every nerve, knocking me unconscious." "When I woke up, it was already bright daylight. I opened my eyes and saw that I was already dressed neatly. The wind had blew all night, but outside the window was a clear blue sky, the sun was shining brightly, and I could even hear the chirping of sparrows and woodpeckers. I turned over and saw my mother cooking on the stove by the kang (heated brick bed). She was lifting the lid to check if the water was boiling. In the rising steam, I suddenly realized that her face had never looked so beautiful, her body had never looked so graceful, and her expression had never looked so content and happy." "'Mom!' I jumped up from the kang, onto the floor, and hugged her. My mother dropped the spoon she was holding and hugged me back. Her shoulders heaved as she buried her face in my strong, broad chest and cried silently. Before I knew it, I found myself also in tears." "My mother whispered in my ear, 'Baby, you're right. I've always wanted you to hold me. Ever since your father first hit me, and you first protected me, I've wanted you to hold me.'" "Is there anything more exciting in this world than love between a man and a woman? Is there anything more fulfilling than conquering one's mother and then being conquered by her? When I finally realized that I wasn't just attracted to my mother's body, but truly loved her from the beginning, I felt happiness for the first time in my life. Yes, happiness is being able to hold the one you love most, for as long as you want." "We held each other like that, the water in the pot bubbling away, the rising steam filling the whole house. It wasn't until the courtyard gate creaked open that we realized Dad was coming home, and we hurriedly let go of each other and straightened our clothes." "Dad came back, exhausted and dejected. He had lost again, which didn't surprise me. But he also brought back a piece of paper, a contract, and someone—the old scholar from the village's private school. And for the first time, there was guilt in his eyes, which surprised me." "When I finally understood what was written in the contract, I rushed forward and beat my father mercilessly. I pushed the old scholar who tried to intervene, nearly causing him to hit his head. My father cowered in a corner, enduring my punches and kicks without retaliating. Only when I was exhausted and had no strength left did he stand up, covered in dirt, wipe the blood from his mouth, walk to my mother, and kneel down with a thud." "'Hua, I'm so sorry…' he cried, crying so bitterly." "The old scholar began to read the contract, slowly and clearly." "'Bai Qing, a villager of Gaojiapingzhuang in Nanyu County, voluntarily agrees to give his wife, Bai Shi, to his fellow villager, Wang Erxi, as his wife to settle a gambling debt of thirty silver dollars. This is a written agreement, in triplicate. The parties are: Bai Qing, Wang Erxi, and the mediator, Qiao Zhanyuan.'" "Mother stared blankly at Father, her expression shifting from shock to sorrow, from sorrow to disappointment, and from disappointment to bewilderment. She simply couldn't imagine that fifteen years of marriage, that brother and sister who had shared hardships for love, could ultimately be worth only thirty silver dollars! That love that defied societal pressures to escape, was worth only thirty silver dollars! She slumped onto the kang (heated brick bed), speechless. Her relationship with Father had died at that moment. Seeing the awkward situation, the old scholar had disappeared sometime earlier." "Old bachelor Wang Erxi, over fifty years old, indulged in all five vices: drinking, gambling, whoring, and prostitution. Therefore, no woman was willing to marry him, not even those who were just looking for a partner or a casual acquaintance. He was getting on in years and had always wanted to find a woman to bear him a son or daughter." "Father lost everything at Boss Qiao's casino. I don't want to hit him anymore, because he's no longer the strong and capable father I knew, but just a pathetic wretch. He's no longer Mother's man either, because he's no longer capable of protecting her or taking care of her. Last night, when I slept with Mother, I already considered myself her man in my heart. I wanted to protect Mother; I couldn't let Wang Erxi take her! Thinking of this, I supported Mother and said, 'Mother, we can't just sit here and wait to die. Let's run before Wang Erxi comes!'" "Before I finished speaking, we heard someone outside say, 'Run? Run where?' As they spoke, several people entered the room, the leader being Wang Erxi. This old man was dark and thin, with a pointed mouth and monkey-like face; he was a rogue. Anyone who crossed him would be relentlessly tormented until they were completely ruined. He bowed to Father..." He said, "Brother Bai Qing, it's not that I'm impatient, but I'm afraid things might get complicated if I delay. I plan to get this done today, and I've brought everyone with me. What do you think?" "Father, with a sly smile, said, "Sure, sure, we've already signed a written agreement, so whatever you say goes." "Wang Erxi said, "Then I'll have someone prepare." "With a wave of his hand, a man came up behind him and placed a wooden tray on the kang (a heated brick bed). Lifting the veil, he saw a red wedding dress and several pieces of jewelry." "Wang Erxi walked up to my mother, and I blocked him, saying, 'Don't touch my mother.'" "The old bachelor chuckled wickedly and said, 'Kid, I'm calling you to the wedding feast this afternoon.'" "I coldly replied, 'I won't drink.'" "The old bachelor ignored me and said to my mother, 'Sister, I'm doing this for your own good. If you come with me, you won't suffer in this poor house. Put on these things, and I'll come pick you up in a sedan chair this afternoon.' After saying this, he gave a wink to the men he'd brought, and they began busily tidying up the house. An old woman in her sixties sat on the kang, incessantly telling my mother about the good things about this happy occasion. My mother sat on the kang with her head down, not saying a word. Wang Erxi glanced at me, then turned and left." "I felt a deep sorrow: how many children in this world can witness their mother's marriage? Just moments ago I was full of courage, but now I felt utterly powerless. The house was quickly tidied up, and the windows were covered with 'double happiness' characters, but those people didn't leave. I knew they were afraid my mother would run away; I couldn't fight off so many of them by myself. But I absolutely couldn't let Wang Erxi take my mother, because she belonged to me!" "In the afternoon, my mother seemed to finally be persuaded by them, and she changed into her red wedding dress and sat on the kang (a heated brick bed). My father had already gone to Wang Erxi's house to wait for the wedding feast. Although it was a remarriage, it was made to look like a young woman's wedding day. Several old women dressed my mother up, and before long, the trumpets of the musicians outside started playing. My mother covered her veil and sat quietly waiting for Wang Erxi to come and fetch her." "Wang Erxi changed into an old black silk shirt, draped with a red flower on his chest, and rode a large blue mule to my door, his face beaming. The old women helped my mother out the door and into a red-roofed sedan chair. When Wang Erxi saw me, he grinned wickedly, 'Kid, come drink with your mother.' I sneered and ignored him." "The musicians played and made a racket all the way, carrying the sedan chair to the Wang family's house, and I followed. Four tables of food and drink had already been set up in the Wang family's dilapidated courtyard. At the master of ceremonies' shouts, my mother and Wang Erxi finished their wedding ceremony and were led to the bridal chamber. Wang Erxi came out to drink with the guests. I only drank a few sips before putting down my cup, while at another table, my father drank happily, completely unconcerned about the ridicule he received for being a tortoise. As long as there was wine to drink, he didn't care about anything else. In just four months, a hardworking and honest boatman had become a good-for-nothing who only knew how to drink." "The drinking continued until the sun was setting. I didn't stay to join the wedding night festivities; I couldn't. I wandered the village like a wolf, listening to the faint sounds of laughter coming from the Wang family's house, thinking about many, many things, recalling many, many things. It wasn't until the night watchman struck the second watch that I returned to the Wang family's walls, by which time the wedding night festivities were ending." "I hid in the darkness until the last person left the Wang family's house, and Wang Erxi returned to the bridal chamber, then I quietly..."I nimbly climbed over the courtyard wall and jumped into the yard. I reached into my coat and felt around; the sharp butcher's knife was warm from my body heat. "I reached the window, poked a small hole in the paper window with my saliva-dipped finger, and peered through. Red candles burned in the bridal chamber, and a white jade Guanyin statue, over a foot tall, was enshrined there. Large red 'double happiness' characters were pasted on the walls. Mother, dressed in her red wedding gown, sat on the kang (heated brick bed), her face full of sorrow. Seeing Wang Erxi approach, she looked up in alarm and cried out, 'Don't come any closer!'" "Wang Erxi, unable to contain himself any longer, leered, 'Sister, I've been missing you for more than a day or two. For my sake, just give in to me!' He climbed onto the kang." "Mother shrank back into the corner of the kang, her voice trembling, 'Don't come any closer!'" "Wang Erxi, burning with lust, quickly stripped off his clothes, revealing his thin, dark body and a long, thick penis. His mother screamed and instinctively turned her face away. Wang Erxi, panting heavily, pounced on her like an animal, grabbing her arm and pulling down her pants. His mother cried, calling my name: 'Baowa! My Baowa!'" "That voice was like a needle pricking me. Mother, you still consider me your most beloved man! I had intended to wait until it was dark before going in and stabbing Wang Erxi, but the current situation didn't allow me to wait any longer. I couldn't let my mother suffer even the slightest harm. I drew my knife, kicked open the two broken wooden doors, and rushed in." "The two people on the kang (heated brick bed) were startled. They turned around, and his mother's voice trembled with joy: 'Baowa, it really is you, my Baowa!'" "Wang Erxi was startled by me and the pig-slaughtering knife in his hand. He then gritted his teeth and cursed, 'You bastard, don't you want to live?'" "I cursed back, 'You old slut, I'm here to cut off your cock head today!' Saying that, I jumped onto the kang (a heated brick bed) and stabbed at Wang Erxi with the knife." "I didn't expect that Wang Erxi was actually a martial arts expert, knowing some fist and foot techniques. I missed several stabs, and before I knew it, he knocked the knife away. He pounced on me, pinned me to the kang, and tightly gripped my neck, his eyes bloodshot, cursing, 'Want to die? I'll grant your wish today!'" "I was being strangled so badly that I couldn't breathe, and my vision blurred. I struggled a few times but couldn't break free. Suddenly, Wang Erxi screamed and loosened his grip. I seized the opportunity to grab the knife that had fallen on the kang and plunged it into his left chest. He screamed again, rolled onto the kang, convulsed a few times, and then lay still with his eyes open." "I struggled to my feet, only to see my mother clutching a blood-stained pair of scissors. I stared in horror at my hand; it was the scissors she had used to cut Wang Erxi's back that had saved me. She had secretly hidden those scissors on her person; if I had come in a moment later, she might have used them to kill herself to preserve her innocence." "Seeing me get off the bed, my mother threw down the scissors, rushed into my arms, and cried, 'Baowa, take me with you. Wherever you go, I'll go with you. We'll never be separated again.' I hugged my mother; although we'd only been separated for less than half a day, it felt like decades. I never wanted her to leave my side again, not even for a moment." "I patted my mother's back and said, 'Mother, let's go, we must go quickly. We'll take the waterway; I've brought Father's boat to the riverbank.'" "My mother wiped away her tears and nodded, saying, 'I'll listen to you.'" "We got off the kang (heated brick bed), packed some valuables into bundles, and were about to leave when I suddenly remembered something and said to my mother, 'Wait!' My mother was startled, and I said, 'We haven't had our wedding ceremony yet!'" "'Wedding ceremony?' My mother was stunned." "'Yes, wedding ceremony. There's a ready-made one here. Let's have our wedding ceremony right here, become husband and wife, and be husband and wife for all eternity!'" "My mother's tears, which she had already wiped away, flowed again. 'For all eternity, we'll be husband and wife, and also mother and son!'" "I pulled my mother and knelt down before Guanyin. The red candles before Guanyin had not yet gone out, reflecting her kind face. I looked at Guanyin and prayed: 'Greatly compassionate Guanyin Bodhisattva, I, Bai Bao'er, am married to my mother, Bai Shi, today. From this day forward, we will never be separated for all eternity. If the Bodhisattva blames me, I, Bai Bao'er, will bear it alone. If the Bodhisattva does not blame me, please bless us, my wife, and our children and grandchildren, and let us enjoy a long and healthy life.'" "Having said that, I kowtowed three times deeply to Guanyin with my mother, and then stood up. My mother threw herself into my arms, burying her face in my chest and sobbing softly." "'Baowa,' my mother called to me, but I interrupted her, saying, 'Don't call me Baowa anymore. I'm your husband now, you can't call me that anymore. From now on, you call me the father of our child, and I'll call you the mother of our child, okay?'" "My mother burst into laughter through her tears. I hadn't seen her smile in a long time. At this moment, my mother, dressed in red, smiled like a peony. The red dress and the red candle made her face glow red as well." Mother laughed and said, "We don't even have a child yet, what are you calling 'child's father' and 'child's mother'?" "I leaned in and kissed her on the lips, whispering, 'Isn't it almost time?' Mother's face turned genuinely red this time, blushing deeply. She turned her face away and pushed me away. I said, 'How about this, you can still call me Baowa, but I can't call you Mother anymore. I'll call you by your nickname, Hua'er, okay?' Mother blushed and nodded gently." "We followed the mountain path, arriving at the Yellow River by moonlight. The Yellow River shimmered with silver waves under the moonlight. I untied the boat, jumped aboard, and pulled Mother aboard as well. With a push of the bamboo pole, the small boat left the shore, drifting downstream with the Yellow River. I gazed at the darkness that had obscured the mountain village, and a nameless sadness welled up in my heart: Farewell, my old home." "I decided to let the boat drift on its own, wherever it took us, we would settle down there. After making up my mind..." I put down my pennies and got into the cabin of the broken mat. My mother had already spread the original old sheepskin jackets in the cabin, and we lay on the boat hugging each other, listening to the sound of water flowing under the boat. Gradually, I became a little confused, and my mother shook me awake and said, "Baby, don't sleep yet, we still have business to do." '" "'Business? I was confused and asked, "What's the matter?" '" "Two more blushes appeared on my mother's face, and her voice became like a mosquito's hum: 'What were we doing before we left? '" "'Come to the church. 'I said. "'Then what should I do after worshiping in the church?' '" "'Enter the bridal chamber. 'At this point I suddenly understood, yes, how could I forget such an important thing? Tonight is my mother and I’s wedding night, and this boat is our bridal chamber. How could I not have the bridal chamber with my mother? I hugged my mother tightly all of a sudden. "My mother lowered her head shyly like a new daughter-in-law. Her expression was completely different from the first time we met last night." I was no longer impatient. I gently kissed my mother's forehead, loosened her hair, and let her beautiful long hair fall down, stroking it. My mother leaned softly against me, her eyes closed, her hands around my neck. "One by one, our clothes were undone, and we finally faced each other again with our most authentic bodies. What was so awkward yesterday was incredibly smooth today, encountering almost no resistance, and we merged seamlessly into one. No longer a frenzied and violent assault, but like meat stewing in a small casserole, slowly and thoroughly enjoying every inch of each other's skin, until the aroma grew richer. The surroundings were silent, even the crickets had stopped chirping. Under the deep night sky, there was only this river, this boat, and the two people on it." "After drifting for a day and a night, the small boat docked at a small village on a tributary of the Yellow River. The people there were simple and honest, and they didn't mistreat strangers. My mother and I settled down there. The kind villagers helped us build two thatched houses. I rented a few acres of land to cultivate, and my mother raised some chickens at home. We also planted a row of small trees in front of the house, living a peaceful life of farming and weaving." "Every day I went to the fields, and my mother cooked for me at home. When I came home and saw the wisps of white smoke rising from the roof, I felt very content. At night, my mother and I enjoyed our lovemaking on the kang (heated brick bed), no longer afraid that anyone would separate us." "Sometimes, I would row my boat to take my mother to the market in Hexiwu, thirty miles away, to buy her floral fabric." I bought cheap jewelry, and basic necessities like oil, salt, soy sauce, and vinegar. I told my mother she was a lucky woman, having been with two different men her whole life without being bullied by her mother-in-law. My mother said if all women in the world were like that, every family would have far fewer troubles. I had never experienced such carefree days in my life. Although life was still not wealthy, it was incredibly peaceful. Like a river slowly flowing from the past, life was slowly flowing towards the future. That winter, my mother became pregnant. Knowing that I was about to become a father, that my bloodline would continue, my heart was filled with overwhelming emotions. I vowed to work even harder the following year to give my woman and my child a bright future. In this happiness, we spent our first Lunar New Year after marriage. Winter passed and spring came. My mother's belly grew bigger day by day, and she began to have some difficulty moving around. We stopped going to the market, and my mother stayed home to prepare for childbirth. "My mother and I often touched her belly together, dreaming about whether our child would be a boy or a girl, who he/she would resemble more, and how to raise the child. We enjoyed the intimacy between husband and wife amidst all sorts of dreams. Even before he/she was born, he/she brought us so much joy. Until my mother was six months pregnant...""When her belly was noticeably protruding, we had to stop our nightly intimacy for the sake of the baby's safe delivery." "In early autumn, after the wheat harvest, my mother was over nine months pregnant. It rained incessantly, so I stayed home to stay with her and await the baby's birth. That morning, I had just added thatch to the roof when it started raining again in the afternoon. I was secretly glad I had done so in time." "As darkness fell, I steamed a bowl of eggs for my mother under the stove, added some vinegar, and fed her spoonful by spoonful on the kang (heated brick bed). She had only eaten half a bowl when we suddenly heard someone singing outside the gate: 'Grandpa and Grandma, please have mercy, poor beggar, thinly dressed, seeking shelter from the rain for the night, those who accumulate virtue will be blessed.' My mother's due date was approaching, and I didn't want her to see strangers, so I ignored it." After a while, the beggar sang outside again: "My parents gave me life, my land died, who knows the bitterness of wandering the world? Helping others is helping yourself, may Heaven bless good people with longevity and happiness." "I was a little annoyed, put down my bowl, jumped off the kang (heated brick bed), put on a coat, and was about to go out and chase him away when my mother stopped me and said, 'Baowa, let him come in and stay for a while. Let him spend the night in the grain room; it'll be good for our child, and the Bodhisattva will take care of him in the future.'" "I laughed and said, 'Women are just soft-hearted. Fine, since you're both my mother and my wife, I'll listen to you.' Actually, whether she's my mother or my wife, I would never disobey her in the slightest." "I put on my raincoat, waded through the mud, and opened the door for the beggar in the yard." He was quite old, his gray hair disheveled across his face, his features thin and withered, dressed in tattered clothes, soaked to the bone by the rain. He stood in the cold wind and rain, leaning on his dog-beating stick and carrying his begging basket, his lips blue with cold. Seeing me open the door, he hurriedly bowed and showered me with compliments. "I led him to the stove to warm himself, and gave him two cornbread buns and a bowl of hot water. As soon as he saw the buns, he pounced on them and began to devour them, choking and rolling his eyes back, looking like a starving ghost. I went back inside and continued to feed my mother steamed eggs." "After the eggs, my mother was a little sleepy; women nearing childbirth tire easily. I picked up a roll of straw mat and went to the stove to lead the old beggar to the grain shed to sleep. The old beggar thanked me profusely, and just as he was about to leave with me, leaning on his dog-beating stick, my mother called from the inner room: 'Baowa, take that tattered cotton blanket too, it's cold in the grain shed!'" "I answered and was about to go back to get the cotton cover when suddenly the old beggar grabbed my hand tightly. I turned around and saw his eyes fixed on my face. I felt very uncomfortable under his gaze and was about to scold him when the beggar's body began to tremble violently, and he could barely speak: 'What...what did she just call you?'" "I said disgustedly: 'What my wife calls me is none of your business!'" "The beggar's body trembled and he said: 'Your wife? You?' He could barely speak, and said in a hoarse voice: 'You...are you surnamed Bai? Do you...do you recognize me...?' I suddenly remembered something, and looked at the beggar carefully. The beggar brushed aside the hair that was disheveled on his face, and said in a chok

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Soul Lost in the Yellow River - Incest Novel

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