The Licentious Scholar of the Song Dynasty

(I) The First Test of Impromptu Couplets

"Dong! The Palace Examination begins!" Wang Anshi, the chief examiner, struck the giant drum in the main hall, announcing the start of the palace examination. Sima Guang, the examiner, dressed in simple official robes, walked onto the examination platform and announced the rules of the palace examination: "By order of His Majesty, this palace examination is divided into two parts: the literary examination and the practical examination. Each part consists of five questions. The literary examination will be conducted by drawing lots and answering orally on the spot. The practical examination will be conducted by drawing lots and performing a practical test on the spot. Time will be set by an hourglass. Those who fail to answer within the time limit or do not answer at all will be eliminated. The winner will be appointed by His Majesty as the top scholar, the second-best as the second-best, and the third-best as the third-best. All will be assigned official positions and given official salaries. The fourth and fifth-best will retain the title of scholar, but will only be awarded a salary and will not be given an official position." After speaking, he turned around and sat down.

"The first round of the written examination: A short, lewd couplet. Candidates must compose a matching line based on the first line dictated by the examiner. The line must possess both lewd intent and depth of scholarship to win. Answers must not repeat words from previous responses. The time allotted is one hourglass, signaled by the sound of a gong. One hourglass corresponds to three gongs." Lü Huiqing announced the start of the first round. Wang Anshi, as the chief examiner, was to politely begin the question as is customary. He stepped onto the examination platform and drew a bamboo slip: "Kong Ding!" Wang Anshi drew the slip, looked at the name engraved on it, and called out.

"Here!" Kong Ding quickly responded and stood up.

"Good, listen carefully… 'Lanterns and decorations await early spring.' The last character of the couplet must rhyme. Please answer." Wang Anshi set this question because he was implementing new reform policies, seemingly to announce a new era.

Kong Ding scratched his head: "Well… I've got it! 'Near and far, lewdness fills the city!'"

"Good, lewd intent and a matching line. Please sit." Wang Anshi nodded and went back.

"Next is... Wang Fu!"

"Yes...yes..." Wang Fu stood up firmly and quickly. After a moment's thought, Wang Fu replied, "Joyfully opening the gate! Haha..."

"Good~ Excellent. Please sit down, please sit down!"

"...Wang Kang!"

"...Yes...yes..." Upon seeing Wang Anshi, Wang Kang was momentarily at a loss, too frightened to stand up, and forgot to respond. "Okay, well...let me think...well..."

"Clang~~The first gong has sounded." The timekeeper called out. "Well..." Wang Kang scratched his head, deep in thought. "Clang~~The second gong has sounded!" "Well...I've got it, I've got it...fire the cannons straight at the enemy! Hehe..." Wang Kang breathed a sigh of relief. "This...this..." Wang Anshi turned to look at the other examiners.

Ouyang Xiu, the scholar in charge of the court, waved his hand and said, "Let's let him off this time!" The other examiners said no more.

"Alright, next up is Zhao Ziwen, the talented scholar from the capital!"

Zhao Ziwen flicked his sleeves and replied, "Birds and magpies gather, searching for the flower's lips!" "Good, good... what a fine 'searching for the flower's lips'!" Sima Guang praised enthusiastically. "Thank you, esteemed teacher!" Zhao Ziwen bowed and thanked him, referring to himself as a student, clearly confident of winning.

"Finally, it's Sima Xiang!"

"A virtuous woman in red makeup is on the verge of losing her senses!" Sima Xiang finished speaking and sat down with satisfaction. "Wait, what is the lewd meaning in this couplet?" Wang Anshi asked

, puzzled. Sima Xiang was about to stand up to explain when Fan Zhongyan waved for him to sit down. Fan Zhongyan continued, "Prime Minister, the lewd meaning in this reply can only be understood intuitively, not in the words themselves. 'On the verge of losing her senses' implies the climax, which is the expression of lewdness."

"Hmm~ Brother Fan, your insight is profound. Good... approved!" Wang Anshi praised Fan Zhongyan's explanation with sudden realization.

"Good! The first round of impromptu written examination is over. All five scholars have passed. Please go to the back room to rest for a while. The second round of written examination will begin in two hours. Exit!" Wang Anshi announced a temporary break.

The candidates and the examiners all left, leaving only the spectators to comment and whisper among themselves. Some thought "nearly lost in thought" deserved the top prize, some thought "opening the door" was a good choice, some thought "straight man" should be changed to "fierce man" for a more powerful word, and some thought "lust fills the city" best matched the theme "waiting for early spring"... The crowd placed bets and placed wagers. The lively and tense atmosphere in the palace was no less than that of the examination in the palace.

(II) Seven-character quatrains show strength

"Dong! The second round of written examination begins!" As the examiners and candidates took their seats, the chief examiner, Wang Anshi, struck the giant drum in the hall for the second time, announcing the start of the palace examination.

"The second round of the written examination: a seven-character quatrain. Candidates must compose a three-line response based on the first line dictated by the examiner. The meaning must be suggestive and profound, and must conform to the rules of Tang poetry. Repetition of words from previous answers is allowed, but the meaning must not be identical. The response time is one hourglass, signaled by the striking of a gong; one hourglass corresponds to three gong strikes." Lü Huiqing announced the start of the second round.

This round's question was posed by Sima Guang. The Imperial Censor Sima, having just submitted a memorial criticizing Prime Minister Wang Anshi's new policies for four major flaws—encroachment on official power, creating trouble, profiteering, and refusing recommendations—was rejected by Wang Anshi. Sima Guang intended to use this question to subtly satirize Prime Minister Wang.

Sima Guang drew the first candidate's bamboo slip and looked at it: "The first candidate is…Prime Minister Sima!" Prime Minister Sima stood up, awaiting Sima Guang's question.

"Scholar Sima Xiang, listen carefully... The east wind is powerless, and the flowers are withered. Please answer the question!"

Sima Xiang fell into deep thought... "Clang~~ The first gong has sounded." The timekeeper struck the gong.

"I've got it... The east wind is powerless, and the flowers are withered; the wax has turned to ash, and the tears have dried; I won't die until I see the coffin; I won't return until I've slept with a beautiful woman!"

"Good, good, good line: 'I won't return until I've slept with a beautiful woman.' Please sit down!" Sima Guang returned to his seat and drew the second examinee.

"...Zhao Ziwen!"

"Here!" Zhao Ziwen was the second examinee, so he naturally had more time to think than the first Sima Xiang. As soon as he stood up, he recited the poem: "The east wind is powerless, and the flowers are withered; the bright moon is obscured by clouds, and the stars are scattered; the beautiful woman alone guards her lustful resentment; I can only blame the patron's waning interest!" "Hmm~~ Good, 'The beautiful woman alone guards her lustful resentment,' well done!" Sima Guang repeatedly praised, and the spectators also generously praised him.

"The next one is... Kong Ding!"

Kong Ding fell into deep thought, seemingly having some difficulty. In fact, the rules of the palace examination had advantages and disadvantages for those who answered first and those who answered later. In the first round, although those who answered first had less time to think than others, those who answered later could not use the same words as the former. Therefore, those who answered first had the advantage of room for choice in the questions. The same was true for the second round. The meaning of the entire poem of those who answered later could not be the same as that of those who answered first, which was a real limitation in terms of the source material.

"Clang~~ The first gong is sounded!" Kong Ding did not even stand up... "Clang~~ The second gong is sounded!" Kong Ding slowly moved his body, but was still deep in thought. "Clang~~" "I've got it!" Just as the third gong was struck, Kong Ding answered: "The east wind is powerless and the flowers are withered, the clouds and rain forcefully cross the mountain pass, a pillar breaks the silent sky, and the sound of lust fills the passenger boat at midnight!"

"Well done~~ Clap! Clap! Clap!" The audience applauded after hearing it.

Sima Guang turned to look at Fan Zhongyan, who whispered to Sima, the Imperial Censor, "Both 'Clouds and rain forcefully cross the mountain pass' and 'A pillar pierces the silent sky' are excellent!"

"Next is Wang Fu!"

Wang Fu, also limited by the topic, stood up in deep thought.

"Go for it... Wang Fu, scholar, go for it... I bet you'll be the top scholar! Go for it..." someone in the audience shouted.

"Clang! The first gong has sounded!" "Don't rush, don't rush... I've got it! 'The east wind is powerless, the flowers are withered...' Well... well..." Sima Guang, seeing the situation was not right, turned and waved to the timekeeper. "Clang! The second gong has sounded!" "Good, good! This time it's for real... 'The east wind is powerless, the flowers are withered, an old man pushes a cart, his legs falter, no sound of lust is heard in the wind and rain, a wanton woman lies drunk in her wet clothes!'" "Oh! Good! Good! Poor wanton woman! Haha..." The audience couldn't help but burst into laughter.

"A night free of lewd sounds and stormy weather—that's quite a good answer!" Wang Anshi commented.

"Since the examiners have no objections, let the last candidate answer the question!"

Lu Huiqing called on Wang Kang to answer the question, but Wang Kang, who was incapable of handling large situations, immediately froze, his mind blank.

"Clang! The first gong has sounded!" "Good, good, don't rush me... 'The east wind is powerless, the flowers are withered...' This... the east wind..." Sima Guang turned and waved to the timekeeper. "Clang! The second gong has sounded!" "Alright... alright... I've got it! This... the east wind... to the western prostitute... this powerless... to..."

Seeing Wang Kang stalling for time, Sima Guang said, "If Scholar Wang cannot recite the entire poem in one go, I will ask you to withdraw from the competition!"

"I've got it, I've got it... 'The east wind is powerless, the flowers are withered, the western prostitute's clothes are wet with tears, she won't give up until she reaches the Yellow River...' This..." Sima Guang waved to the timekeeper again. "Clang! The third gong has sounded!" "Wait! The little snake still wants to pierce through... What? Haha!"

Sima Guang turned to look at Ouyang Xiu, but saw Ouyang Xiu shaking his head repeatedly. Fan Zhongyan continued, "If Wang Kang's poem is meant to express the indomitable spirit of the flower picker, then it is the same as the meaning of Sima Xiang's reply poem; if it is meant to express the inability of the prostitute to satisfy her desires, then it is the same as Zhao Zi's poem; if it is meant to express the weakness of the lecherous man in his old age, then it is the same as Wang Fu's; if it is meant to express the lecherous man's desire to cross the mountain pass despite his weakness, then it is the same as Kong Ding's meaning..."

"Furthermore, since you answered after the time was up, according to the rules of this palace examination, Wang Kang, you have been eliminated." Sima Guang finally announced the unanimous decision of the palace examiners to the public.

A commotion erupted among the spectators, some crying out, "Waaah! That damned Wang Kang! That damned Wang Kang! I've poured all my savings into you! Who knew you'd be so disappointing? Waaah... Waaah... What am I going to do with my family? Waaah... Waaah..."

"Exit!" Wang Anshi was the first to leave the examination platform.

"After a two-hour rest, the third round of the competition will begin. Scholar Wang Kang will not need to return to the palace!" Lü Huiqing announced to the crowd.

(III) Wang Kang's Clever Argument Leads

to a Licentious Repercussions Just as the examination official Lü Huiqing announced the elimination of scholar Wang Kang, the spectators began to hurl insults at him. Most of them were fathers or aunts who had bet their fortunes on Wang Kang's success in the imperial examination, causing Wang Kang to feel a pang of sorrow and remorse.

"Gentlemen of the Imperial Examination, please wait!" Suddenly, Wang Kang returned to the examination platform and shouted at the examination officials who were turning to leave. Upon hearing someone shout at a high-ranking official, the soldiers guarding the examination hall drew their swords in alarm; the spectators were also taken aback, as if Wang Kang would cause trouble due to his resentment at failing the exam.

Wang Anshi stopped, waved away the soldiers escorting him, and turned to Wang Kang, saying, "Why is Scholar Wang preventing these officials from leaving?" Wang Kang lowered his voice, cupped his hands, and said to Wang Anshi, "May I ask, Your Excellency, are there any regulations regarding answering after the allotted time or failing to answer after the allotted time?" "Of course! Anyone who answers after the allotted time or fails to answer after the allotted time will be eliminated," Lü Huiqing solemnly explained the regulations. "Then may I ask, Your Excellency, are there any regulations regarding those who answer only half of the questions after the allotted time?" "Well… you think…" Lü Huiqing was speechless for a moment, then turned to look at Sima Guang. "Yes, I am unworthy and dull-witted. However, I did not answer after the time limit; I completed the first part before the time expired. Furthermore, I did not fail to answer after the time limit; I finished the entire answer after the time limit expired. I humbly ask, Your Excellency, under what law should I be disqualified from the examination?" "Yes, yes! Good, good! Clap clap clap…" Upon hearing Wang Kang's words, the spectators couldn't help but applaud in support.

"This… well…" Wang Anshi turned to look at Fan Zhongyan, who stepped forward and said to Wang Kang, "According to the rules of the palace examination, there are indeed no regulations regarding the time allotted for your answers. However, the content of your answers is identical to that of the previous four candidates. According to the rules of the palace examination, you should still be eliminated without a doubt!" Wang Kang smiled and said, "What similarities are there? Sima Xiang's 'East Wind' alludes to a lecher, the poem's meaning lies in 'He will not return until he has slept with a beautiful woman,' emphasizing that the lecher, though incapable of fulfilling his duties, still relentlessly vows to seduce a beautiful woman; Zhao Ziwen's 'East Wind' alludes to a patron, the poem's meaning lies in 'The beautiful woman alone guards her patron's lecherous resentment,' emphasizing the beautiful woman's resentment at the patron's inability to fulfill his duties; Kong Ding's 'East Wind' alludes to a rapist, the poem's meaning lies in 'The clouds and rain forcefully cross the mountain pass' and 'A pillar pierces the silent sky,' emphasizing that the rapist, though incapable of fulfilling his duties, still forcibly demands; Wang Fu's 'East Wind' alludes to an old man, the poem's meaning lies in 'No lewd sounds heard on a stormy night,' emphasizing the old man's incompetence . How can the meanings of these four poems be the same as mys?"

"Then what does Wang Xiucai's 'East Wind' refer to...?" Fan Zhongyan asked doubtfully. "I mean... a penis." "Hahaha~~ He meant that! Hahaha..." The audience couldn't help but laugh when they heard that Wang Kang's 'East Wind' referred to a penis. "How so?" Sima Guang couldn't help but ask. "Have you all forgotten my last line?" "Your last line was...?" "It was 'The little snake still wants to pierce through.'" "Haha... Ha! The east wind refers to the little snake! Haha..." The crowd couldn't help but laugh again. "Hmm... then what is the meaning of your poem?" Wang Anshi, finding it reasonable, pressed Wang Kang for the meaning of his poem. "Your Excellency, my poem means that the penis is overestimating itself and still wants to pierce through!" Wang Kang cleverly argued, and the crowd erupted in another uproar.

"Well..." Wang Anshi turned to look at the highly respected Ouyang Xiu. Ouyang Xiu thought for a moment, then suddenly smiled and nodded to Wang Anshi. "Alright! Since you haven't violated the rules of the palace examination, you are still qualified to continue the competition!" Wang Anshi said, then turned and left with the other palace examiners. The soldiers sheathed their swords, and the crowd happily congratulated Wang Kang. The other candidates for the imperial examinations, however, wore expressions of helplessness.
Sima Xiang approached Wang Kang with a puzzled look and asked, "I humbly request your guidance, Brother Wang, can a penis serve as a substitute for the east wind?" "Of course it can! Haven't you heard the saying, 'Everything is ready except for the east wind'? How can a lecherous man act without a penis?" Wang Kang cleverly countered with a smile. "Yes, yes... Brother Wang is right!" Sima Xiang tactfully withdrew.

(IV) The sounds of lewdness continued

back and forth for another two hours. Amid the commotion and jeers of the spectators, the officials of the palace examination, escorted by soldiers, entered the examination hall. The candidates had already taken their seats in the hall, waiting for the third round of the written examination. After a while, the chief examiner, Wang Anshi, walked to the front of the hall and said, "Given that the five candidates are all outstanding talents, in order to avoid wasting the time of the examiners and the normal lives of the people, the third round of the written examination, as well as the subsequent fourth and fifth rounds, will be conducted in one go without any breaks... Now, let's begin the third round of the written examination!"

As soon as Wang Anshi announced the completion of the entire written examination, the crowd cheered, because what everyone was most looking forward to was not the written examination, but the practical skills competition that followed.

"The third round of the written examination is a designated poem. Each candidate must compose a seven-character quatrain on the spot, based on a given topic from the examiners. The poem must contain both beautiful and erotic themes. The time limit is three gongs. Those who fail to answer within the time limit, do not answer, or answer only partially will be eliminated!" Lü Huiqing announced the slightly revised rules of the palace examination due to the Wang Kang incident.

"Alright, the first one is Wang Kang…." This round was presided over by Fan Zhongyan. Fan drew the first lot, and whether intentionally or unintentionally, Wang Kang, who had just secured his place in the examination, was immediately chosen. "Wang Kang, listen… please compose a seven-character quatrain on the theme of a woman's breasts. The timer begins!" Fan waved his hand, and the timekeeper inverted the hourglass to begin the timer. "Clang—one gong's time is up!" Wang Kang stood thoughtfully on the examination platform. "Go Wang Kang! Go Wang Kang!" Cheers from the spectators echoed from below. "Clang—two gongs' time is up!"

"I've got it... 'Looking at it from the side, it's a ridge; viewed from the front, it's a peak; near and far, high and low, each view is different. We can't see the true face of Mount Lu, only because we've clenched our hands tightly...' Haha..." Wang Kang finished his answer as usual and smiled. "Good! Good! It really is different in size and height! Haha!" The spectators laughed heartily. "Good, passed. Next up is... Wang Fu!" Fan Zhongyan drew the second candidate to the stage. "Please compose a seven-character quatrain on the topic of a woman's small mouth. Time begins!" Fan Zhongyan gave the second topic to Wang Fu, the second candidate to answer. "Well..." Wang Fu was also deep in thought; it was truly a challenge. Actually, this third written test was different from the first two. The first two were the same question, so the later answerers had more time to think but were limited by the inability to repeat the meaning of previous answers. The third test, however, was different for each person given a different question by the examiners, so it didn't affect whether someone answered first or later, and therefore everyone needed to think for a while. "Clang—the first gong sounds." "...This...white semen..." Wang Fu hesitated. "Clang—the second gong sounds." "...White semen...oh...I've got it...white semen, jade liquid, tastes the flute, sprays and flows to the mouth and never returns, first sees kissing, holding, licking, sucking, then sees pushing, trembling, and ejaculating." Wang Fu breathed a sigh of relief and sat down!

Fan Zhongyan looked at Wang Fu suspiciously, "Wait...what does 'first sees kissing, holding, licking, sucking' mean?"

"My lord, it means a woman's small mouth kissing, holding, and licking the penis." "...And what about pushing, trembling, and ejaculating?" "My lord, it means a man's penis pressing, thrusting, and trembling as he ejaculates." "Alright, I understand...please sit down!" Only then did Wang Fu really sit down. "Good for you, Wang Fu...suck the top scholar and the prince consort together...haha...the princess's little mouth is quite big...hahaha..." The spectators laughed and joked again.

"Next up is... Zhao Ziwen!" Zhao Ziwen straightened his clothes and bowed, waiting for the test question from Master Fan. "Zhao Ziwen, please compose a seven-character quatrain on the theme of a woman's plump buttocks..." Unexpectedly, Zhao Ziwen immediately answered with a poem: "A graceful lady with a pert bottom, a pack of lecherous wolves surround her, embracing her from the front and pushing her from behind, wanting to peek into her anus!" "Haha--Want to get a taste of her anus...it has to be long enough--hahaha--" Zhao Ziwen's answer naturally drew laughter from the crowd! "Alright, that's lewd—next is Sima Xiang." "Here—" "Please compose a seven-character quatrain on the theme of 'Auntie's repressed lust.'" "...Got it... 'A middle-aged woman still has a good charm, a dry well wants to be pounded with wood, a man rides a bamboo horse to slaughter the city, the green plum makes the Han beg for mercy.'" "--Oh--not bad...the last line would be even better if it were changed to 'The old lady is so happy she's screaming'--hahaha--" The crowd erupted in another round of boisterous jeers.

"You've passed the test, but..." Old Fan seemed to have some doubts, and continued, "Since ancient times, the Han and the traitors have been irreconcilable enemies. Now, the Liaobei are eager to attack us, and Sima Xiang's 'the green plum makes the Han beg for mercy' seems inappropriate!" "Then...change it to...the green plum makes the stick beg for mercy...that should be okay, right?" Sima Xiang changed the character "Han" to "stick"! "Alright—next is Kong Ding!…Please compose a seven-character quatrain on the theme of 'The Maiden's Vagina'…" "Well…I've got it… 'The maiden's vulva is always wet, on her first night she wipes away tears, I ask you, do you feel pleasure? It's during the thrusting in and out.'" Kong Ding answered this round with ease. "Alright! Passed…Since everyone passed, let's move on to the fourth round." Wang Anshi announced the start of the fourth round.

"The fourth round of the literary examination is a seven-character poem relay. Each candidate must use the last character of the previous candidate's poem as the first character, and the meaning must be coherent. The characters and pronunciations must be identical. Write a seven-character poem, which must rhyme, contain lewd intent, and the last character of each line must not be repeated from the previous candidate's. There are five rounds in total. Those who fail to complete the answer within the time limit are eliminated!" Lü Huiqing announced the rules for this round as usual. The fourth round was presided over by Ouyang Xiu. He stepped forward and drew four lots from the bamboo tube to determine the order of the questions. The order was Sima Xiang, Wang Kang, Zhao Ziwen, Wang Fu, and Kong Ding. Ouyang Xiu then began to ask the questions: "The great river flows eastward, its waves sweeping away... Please, Sima Xiang, complete the poem..."

"Good, remove all clothes to await the wolf's plucking." "Plucking the yin to nourish the yang," Wang Kang answered. Zhao Ziwen continued, "The yang rod draws water into the yin well." "The depth of the well measures your lewd power," Wang Fu answered. "Power is insufficient, premature ejaculation," Kong Ding answered, ending the first round. "--Clap--Clap clap--Good--" The spectators erupted in applause. Sima Xiang then began the second round: "When the essence is abundant, urge the rod to rise again." "Get up and seduce the girl again," Wang Kang answered, eliciting a burst of laughter. "The lewd man enters the hall and forcibly plucks the flower," "The flower withers, the bud falls, and the woodcutter is withered," Wang Fu answered. "What a 'withered' character! It's driving Kong Ding crazy! Keep it up..." The crowd was eager to see the first person eliminated. "Withered face comes from the cruelty of the lecherous wolf." Kong Ding answered the second round steadily. He wanted to tease Sima Xiang, so he used the word "cruelty" at the end. "Cruelty is inflicted in the Chrysanthemum Courtyard." Sima Xiang answered easily again. "How deep is the courtyard?" Wang Kang also passed the third round. "...May...maybe...maybe?" "Clang—the gong has sounded!" "May...maybe...maybe the lecherous wolf enter the brothel!" Zhao Ziwen answered. "Cousin...cousin brothers all appear." Wang Fu answered. "Gather..." Kong Ding was about to answer the question. "Wait...what's the connection between Wang Fu's answer and 'maybe the lecherous wolf enters the brothel'?" Fan Zhongyan asked. "Yes—yes—originally there was only one lecherous wolf, how did cousins appear?" The crowd's questions rose and fell.

"This...this..." Wang Fu was speechless and at a loss.

Wang Anshi stepped forward and said, "Alright, Wang Fu is eliminated! Kong Ding, take over the 'Hang' character..." "Hang...the sounds of lewdness are constant in the hall..." Kong Ding finished answering the third round. "Intermittent cries of pain." Sima Xiang answered quickly. Wang Kang tilted his head and answered, "The cries of climax are coming out..." "This 'coming out'..." Zhao Ziwen was stumped!

(V) The written test ends and the practical test begins

"Clang—the first gong is sounding!"

Zhao Ziwen was trapped by Wang Kang's answer "The cries of climax are coming out.

" "Clang—the second gong is sounding!"

"This 'coming out'...ah...I will never drink the water of forgetting lust until I die!" Zhao Ziwen forced out a sentence in a hurry.

"This...this...what is the water of forgetting lust?" The audience discussed among themselves.

Ouyang Xiu stepped forward and asked Zhao Ziwen in a low voice, "I am well-versed in ancient and modern history, but I

have never heard of 'Forget-Love Water.' May I ask, Scholar Zhao, what is the origin of this?" Zhao Ziwen replied, "Master, have you ever heard of 'Forget-Love Water'?"

"I have heard of it," Ouyang Xiu answered.

Zhao Ziwen elaborated, "According to unofficial history, Tang Bohu wanted to woo Qiu Xiang, but was thwarted by the old lady. A friend suggested that he drink 'Forget-Love Water' to escape the torment of love. Tang Bohu replied, 'Forget-Love Water may forget love, but this sorrow will linger and never end.' His friend said, 'Then use 'Forget-Lust Water'!' It seems that Tang Bohu's friend mistakenly used 'chanting' instead of 'lust' and made a joke."

"Oh—I've learned something! I've learned something—I am ignorant," Ouyang Xiu politely replied to Zhao Ziwen. "Then please let Scholar Kong Ding answer with the word 'water'."

"The fire subsides, the water recedes, and the waves calm," Sima Xiang answered in the final round.

"Easy -- ...Jing Si Hui Jiang Jiang Tu Ren." Wang Kang finished answering the fifth round.

Zhao Ziwen stood up, muttering to himself, "That damn Wang Kang! Damn Wang Kang! ... He always tricks me... This 'teasing'..."
"Clang -- the first gong sounds!"

"This... this 'teasing'... is really difficult... Let me think..."

"Clang -- the second gong
sounds!" Zhao Ziwen really looked helpless. "Come on -- come on, Young Master Zhao --" someone in the audience cheered for Zhao Ziwen.

"Hmm... this..." Suddenly, Zhao Ziwen seemed to have an inspiration.

"Clang—the third gong sounds!

After the founding of the Great Song Dynasty, the policy of 'releasing military power over a cup of wine' swept through the court and the country, emphasizing civil over military affairs. The court issued decrees, establishing numerous academic disciplines and holding imperial examinations in spring and autumn, awarding the top three scholars (Zhuangyuan, Bangyan, and Tanhua) and official titles. Students from all over flocked to study under these scholars. The Minister of Rites, noting the high quality of courtesans—who were skilled in literature, singing, poetry, dance, music, chess, calligraphy, and painting—and to curb the vulgarity of the military men and improve the quality of courtesans, petitioned Emperor Shenzong to appoint a 'lewd Zhuangyuan'..."

In the second year of Emperor Shenzong's reign (1461), after passing various examinations including the provincial, metropolitan, and civil service examinations, five individuals from different regions obtained the title of Xiucai (a scholar who passed the lowest level of the imperial examinations). These included Wang Kang from Henan, Sima Xiang from Ningbo, Wang Fu from Hangzhou, Kong Ding from Qufu, and Zhao Ziwen from the capital. All five were outstanding individuals, possessing both academic excellence and exceptional skills. On the day of the palace examination, Emperor Shenzong was slightly unwell and unable to personally appoint the examiners. He decreed that Chancellor Wang Anshi would be the chief examiner, and Ouyang Xiu, Sima Guang, Fan Zhongyan, and Lü Huiqing would be the examiners.

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