[The Prodigal God of Mischief] [The End]

Chapter 1 Huang Shigong of Mount Hua
Mount Hua, located near Huayin County, Shaanxi Province, rises over 3,000 meters high and consists of five peaks: North Peak (Yuntai), Central Peak (Yunu), West Peak (Lianhua), South Peak (Luoyan), and East Peak (Chaoyang). It is known as the "Number One Mountain Under Heaven." The peaks are towering, layered with verdant foliage, clustered like flowers, with steep cliffs and sheer drops. The Song Dynasty poet Kou Zhun wrote in his poem "Climbing Mount Hua": "Only heaven is above, nothing higher than this: looking up, the red sun is near; looking back, the white clouds are low." Mount Hua boasts many scenic spots, such as the sunrise at Chaoyang Peak, the Lotus Peak resembling a divine axe, the plank road spanning the sky and the magnificent Chess Pavilion, the Jade Maiden Peak where the phoenix is said to be played on a flute, and the Lanling Hall of the Xiyue Temple. These are all scenic spots that have given rise to magical legends. Climbing to the summit and gazing into the distance, one sees the Wei River to the north, winding and twisting like a dragon spreading across the clouds, its beauty especially serene and graceful at dawn. The Yellow River flows from north to south, then turns east at Fenglingdu, with the pass looming in the distance.

A brief spring rain has stopped, and misty clouds, turning a pale yellow, blanket the mountain peaks, severing the mountain range in half.

At

the foot of the mountain, dozens of farmers, their hands clasped in baskets and hats, are driving their oxen into the fields to plow in the misty rain.

Suddenly, thunder and lightning strike, and torrential rain pours down. The farmers abandon their work and flee into the nearby dense forest.

Suddenly, the clouds part in the eastern sky, and a streak of blue light, accompanied by lightning and thunder, crashes into the fields. Over a thousand oxen fall to the ground, unconscious, except for one robust cow, which, undeterred, growls to the sky.

Where the lightning flashes, a blue dragon emerges from the clouds, its wide, round eyes scanning the earth, then suddenly swoops down, circling above the cow in spring.

The azure dragon stretched out its forepaws, suddenly gripping the cow's horns on its forehead. It arched its body, its head throbbing, saliva dripping from its mouth, its scales bursting open in a state of extreme excitement. Its hind legs gripped the cow's back, its tail raised skyward, and its hidden dragon whip, two feet long, wet, erect, and red, slowly extended, writhing and suddenly thrusting into the cow's genitals to mate.

The farmers sheltering from the rain in the dense forest witnessed this scene, staring at each other in astonishment, speechless and bewildered.

A moment later, the lustful dragon roared to the sky, disappearing through the clouds, transforming into a streak of azure light, and leisurely vanished.

The cow, writhing in desire, collapsed to the ground, panting, listless, groaning softly… The cow safely gave birth to a calf, which, apart from its dark green skin, showed no abnormalities. Curious farmers came to check on it, finding nothing amiss, and realizing the calf was not a monster, they gradually forgot about the incident.

Two years later…

The spring mountains remain, the birdsong and fragrance of flowers remain, and the scenery is beautiful.

As dusk approaches, the western sky is ablaze with colorful clouds and rays of light. A majestic Taoist priest arrives on a cloud-borne journey, arriving at a farmer's cowshed.

"Li Ergou? Are you selling this blue ox?" Li Ergou is startled by the sudden question and turns around in surprise. He sees a Taoist priest who is eight feet eighty feet tall, with yellow Taoist eyebrows, long earlobes, a crescent-shaped mouth, a three-sectioned nose, thick lips, and bright, kind eyes. A sense of solemn respect arises within him.

Hearing his question, Li Ergou exclaimed in surprise, "Master! You must be from out of town! I regard this blue ox as my own child; its daily farm work is equivalent to that of ten oxen from other families. I won't blame it... How do you know my childhood name?" The Master ignored him, slowly walking towards the blue ox, affectionately stroking its back for a moment, and said with a smile, "We are from the same Li family. This blue ox is destined to be with me, so I've come to offer my blessings! This ingot of gold is enough for you to buy dozens of oxen. If you don't sell it, your family might face disaster a year from now!" The Master held up a yellow-orange gold ingot in his right hand, smiling at Li Ergou.

Li Ergou saw that the gold was quite heavy; it could buy far more than dozens of strong oxen! He immediately changed his mind and replied,

"Sell! Sell! Without food, even father and son will turn against each other. Money makes the world go round. Fortune telling and divination are all nonsense. A person's mouth is just two pieces of skin; their words can change! How can you believe such things!" He hurriedly led the blue ox to the Taoist priest, happily accepting the gold ingot. He weighed it and was extremely satisfied. He looked up and asked, "Taoist priest! You said you're from the same clan… what is your name?" "This humble Taoist's surname is Li, given name Er, courtesy name Boyang, also known as 'Laozi'." As soon as he finished speaking, he led the blue ox away, seemingly disappearing without a trace, as if vanished into thin air.

Riding the ox out of the pass, never to return, the white clouds drift aimlessly for a thousand years.

Five hundred years later.

North of the Cloud Terrace on Mount Hua, at the Azure Dragon Ridge.

In the western sky, a large bird flew swiftly, its golden light flashing.

The divine bird, the "Golden-Winged Roc," with its hooked claws, tightly gripped a dejected blue dragon.

The Golden-Winged Roc flew down to Azure Dragon Ridge. Suddenly swooping down, twenty feet above the mountain peak, its claws outstretched, the Azure Dragon plummeted like a meteor, crushing several pine trees. Upon landing,

the Azure Dragon spoke in human language, crying out, "Brother Pengyu! Did you try to kill me? We have no grudges, why throw me so violently?" The Golden-Winged Roc stood on a cloud, its wings fluttering, causing the clouds to drift and a gust of wind to sweep across, making the pine trees rustle. In

an instant, it transformed into a handsome general clad in golden armor, wielding a Vajra staff, and shouted, "Lustful Dragon! Stop trying to curry favor! My cousin is bewitched by you, unable to eat or drink. Have you offended me on this long journey? I am here by imperial decree to reincarnate you. Don't delay, I must return to the Heavenly Court to report. Do not delay!" The lustful dragon coiled into a circle, and with a sudden movement, transformed into a handsome young man. Dressed in scholar's robes, with a turban tied around his head, the man clasped his hands in a gesture of respect and pleaded urgently, "Brother! We are still related by marriage, please spare me this time! I truly do not wish to be reincarnated. I wish to return to the 'Earthly Realm' with you, marry the 'Red-Winged Woman,' and cultivate myself to a higher realm!" Peng Yu, the eagle-like figure, glared at the scholar, scoffing and saying with utter contempt, "You brat! My cousin already hates you to the bone. No matter how eloquent you are, trying to reconcile is futile. First, cleanse your licentious and fickle nature, then reincarnate and cultivate yourself properly!" The scholar's mind was already... Chaotic and panicked, the scholar asked, "Brother! Where will I be reborn? Will I still be able to ascend to the ranks of immortals? I've heard that there's a mystery surrounding reincarnation; will I lose all my magical powers?" Peng Yu, his sleeves billowing and eyes gleaming with rage, retorted, "You brat! I haven't offended Heaven, I have no experience with this, how would I know? Don't make a fool of yourself, Heaven's will is just! The time has come, enough nonsense. There's a well-off family named Li at the foot of Canglong Ridge; that's where you'll be reborn. Go down!" Without another word, Peng Yu lightly waved his magic weapon, unleashing a golden light, powerful and unstoppable, like a giant roc seizing a tiger.

The scholar, flustered and indignant, roared like a dragon, raising his feet to resist, but the light bound him like a net, turning him into a golden ball that plummeted down the mountain.

"You brat! In this reincarnation, you've escaped five hundred years of misfortune. Perhaps what you lose in one place will be gained in another. What's meant to be will be. Go back to Heaven and report!" Peng Yu transformed back into the golden-winged roc, spread his wings, and flew westward with lightning speed.

Seventeen years later.

On the Azure Dragon Ridge, a path carved into the rock on the left is called "Ear-Scraping Cliff." Passing through Ear-Scraping Cliff leads to "King Yama's Bat." This is the most treacherous place on Mount Hua, a life-or-death ordeal for travelers. After passing this point, the road gradually widens, and there is an archway inscribed with "Imperial Path to Ascension." Passing through the archway is the Imperial Path. Climbing the steps, both sides are sheer cliffs, steep and scorching. After reaching the top of the Imperial Path, the ridge ends, and the road cuts off, marking the highest point of Azure Dragon Ridge.

At this moment, a point of blue light, like a star, rushes towards Azure Dragon Ridge from the south.

In the blink of an eye, the blue star expands rapidly, becoming like a full moon.

Within the azure dome, a robust blue ox suddenly appeared, with a handsome young man, seemingly only seventeen or eighteen, riding on its back.

The ox galloped excitedly, its hooves treading on auspicious, multicolored clouds, creating a trail of sparks and crackling sounds as it raced through the air, leaving a dazzling, star-like streak.

The handsome young man, with his rosy lips and white teeth, shouted, "Little Qing! Go! Go faster! This feeling of soaring through the clouds is exhilarating, so exhilarating! Forget about your senior brother's exam; with the incense as proof, there's still plenty of time. Let's go for another lap!" Li Tanhua, in high spirits, laughed triumphantly at the surrounding peaks, patting the ox's plump cheek and pointing towards the valley below.

The ox understood, let out a bellow, and unleashed its power. It suddenly descended from the clouds, charging straight into the valley, a fierce wind whipping up the air, startling countless beasts and birds, who fled in terror like lost souls, their deep roars echoing endlessly.

Li Tanhua, mischievous and playful, clapped his hands in mid-air. With a masterful left-right strike and a mysterious angle, he stirred up two whirlwinds, sweeping away the fleeing birds in the air. In an instant, they fell like rain, none escaping his grasp.

A bizarre sight! The birds on the left froze like stone, landing on the bed with a thud. The birds on the right, touched by the wind, scorched and smoked, igniting the dense forest.

Seeing this, Li Tanhua leaped up, standing on the ox's back. He pulled down his trousers, took out his "treasure," and urinated in mid-air, then pulled down his trousers and let out a loud fart. Muttering incantations, the farts mixed with urine created a swirling, turbulent wind, scattering across the burning forest on the right. The flames were extinguished, but the stench was overwhelming.

The ox, snorting and grinning, seemed to revel in its master's amusement, its enthusiasm growing even stronger. It galloped about, chasing after wild animals darting through the mountains, raising its horns and butting into wild boars and deer, causing them to howl and roar incessantly.

Li Tanhua jumped for joy, clapping and cheering.

Suddenly, his eardrums vibrated as his senior brother's thunderous voice boomed, "You brat, you've committed another murder! Don't you know Heaven cherishes life?" Li Tanhua, true to his arrogant nature, replied with his own secret telepathic communication, "Senior brother, your teachings on behalf of our master are like those of a loving father; I am deeply grateful. But your frightening antics while riding the wind and breaking the clouds are terrifying. What if I were to fall off a cliff in shock and be shattered to pieces? Who would take care of you then?" "Tanhua! You can't change your dissolute nature. You're glib and never speak a serious word. You're always acting crazy. How can you shoulder the responsibility of exorcising demons? Learn from your nephew Zhang Liang's gentlemanly demeanor. Unlike you! Your wind-summoning and rain-calling skills have turned into 'urinating wind and rain,' truly disgracing Taoism with such a precious prodigal son!" "Senior brother! Wait a minute! The other day, Master praised me as a born dragon, a once-in-a-millennium talent, with unparalleled intelligence and wisdom!" "You really have no idea what to do with yourself!" "He's a troublemaker, mischievous, cunning, ignorant yet argumentative, a piece of rotten wood that can't be left alone!" "Senior brother! What's wrong with being clever? How can an immortal not know the inside story? One must be knowledgeable in everything to impart knowledge and resolve doubts. What's so good about that pedantic Zhang Liang? The emperor wanted to kill him, but he still dared to defy him. It's like a blind man carrying a lantern—a complete waste of effort!" "Tanhua! What kind of analogy is that? It's nonsensical. Forget it! Just now, Master sent a talisman warning that at noon today, the Gui Yin will be in power, the Heavenly Dog will devour the sun, a once-in-a-century Gui Yin attack that is fierce and domineering. Come down quickly!

You're still a mortal; without the divine light shield of the Green Ox protecting you, you would have been annihilated long ago." How could he disobey his master's words? Li Tanhua hurriedly patted the Green Ox's forehead with his right hand, saying, "Little Green! Let's go back to 'Botai Cave Heaven' so that Senior Brother won't be anxious!" The Green Ox understood. It raised its head and gently listened to the rain.

"Giddy up! 'Flash Chaser,' let's go!" The blue ox's hooves thundered, creating a sudden gust of wind and thunder, and it sped off towards Botai Peak in the direction of Chaoyang Peak.

"Botai" is a huge yellow rock, sitting firmly and majestically atop the mountain, like a stone thrown from outer space, proudly standing out among the mountains.

On the mountainside of Chaoyang Peak is a wide natural stone cave, with the four characters "Botai Cave Heaven" inscribed on the stone wall at the entrance. Huang Shigong, on the Xiaqitan Bridge, due to worldly ties, removed his boots three times to transform Zhang Liang, who then bestowed upon him three volumes of military strategy, before retiring to this place to cultivate.

The blue ox rushed to the cave entrance when suddenly two eagles flew in and crashed into it, blocking its path. The blue ox, with its lightning speed, could not be stopped and quickly dodged in fright.

"Boom! Crash..." The mountain shook, stone chips flew everywhere, and rocks slid down.

The blue ox, as fast as an arrow, crashed into the mountain wall beside the cave, leaving only its tail dangling in the air.

"Senior brother! Save me..." Li Tanhua, caught off guard, was thrown into the air and plummeted down a sheer cliff. He was momentarily helpless, on the verge of being shattered to pieces.

Suddenly, a five-colored auspicious cloud arrived like thunder. Standing on the cloud was an immortal, with white hair and a youthful face, kind eyes and scholarly features. His five-stranded hair was as white as a waterfall, and his Confucian robes fluttered in the wind.

Huang Shigong offered him a dragon-headed staff. Upon seeing it, Li Tanhua desperately clung to it, stepping on a wine gourd bound with red silk, stabilizing himself, and exhaling a sigh of relief, having saved his life.

"Senior brother! Thank you! Quickly pull me up! My hands are sore and numb from holding onto the dragon staff, I'm about to fall!" "Bear with it for a moment, then return to 'Bogu Cave Heaven' immediately. Do not touch me with your 'unlucky right hand,' or you'll suffer the same misfortune as the Green Ox." Huang Shigong carried the dragon-headed staff, and Li Tanhua, like a fish on a fishing rod, swayed in mid-air. He returned to the cave heaven on his cloud, unloaded the "fish," and walked to the cave entrance, lightly slapping the mountain wall.

"Boom!" The cave heaven trembled slightly, and the Green Ox, which had burrowed into the mountain wall, bounced back.

Dizzy and disoriented, the Green Ox staggered into the cave, its eyes wide with terror as it stared at Li Tanhua, pleading softly.

Li Tanhua smiled apologetically, extending his left hand to gently stroke the Green Ox's forehead. Only then did the Green Ox raise its hind legs and extend its tongue to nuzzle the back of Li Tanhua's left hand, displaying extreme intimacy.

Huang Shigong said unhappily, "Junior Brother! I've told you countless times that if your right hand touches anything or anyone with 'bad luck,' you must then touch it with your left hand with 'good luck' to avoid misfortune. How come you always forget?" "Senior Brother! I got a little carried away while riding the clouds just now, I know I was wrong... I guess it was unintentional!" "Oh! Forget it, you have too many 'unintentional mistakes'! The dozens of medicinal herbs in the 'Seven Dragons Red Clay Treasure Urn' have already been overcooked, hurry up and go soak in it!" "I love taking medicinal baths the most, I haven't had one for two days and I really miss it! Taking a medicinal bath not only relaxes my muscles and bones and makes me feel energetic, but it also makes me as tough as copper and as strong as iron, and I'm immune to all poisons. I remember once I accidentally stepped on a poisonous snake, and it turned around and bit me, but its two big fangs couldn't penetrate my skin, it was no use." As Li Tanhua spoke, he took off his clothes and jumped naked into the Seven Dragons Red Clay Urn. The fragrant aroma of herbs filled the air, the water temperature was just right, and the surface was smooth and silky,

making Li Tanhua thoroughly enjoy his wash. Huang Shigong sat cross-legged before the medicine urn, raising his palms and silently channeling his divine power, unleashing pure Yin energy to freeze the urn.

The Green Ox stood behind the urn, its mouth wide open, spewing forth raging flames that heated it.

The alternating hot and cold sensations, after a moment, caused the seven intricately carved dragons on the red clay urn to emit a dazzling seven-colored light, coiling and swirling above Li Tanhua's head before disappearing into the Nine Palaces of the Neck.

Li Tanhua was momentarily stunned by this unexpected encounter, feeling an unbearable heat within him, but only for a fleeting moment. It transformed into a cool, refreshing sensation throughout his body. At that instant, his skin changed, radiating a faint, jade-like glow, crystal clear, before vanishing in an instant.

Li Tanhua felt refreshed and invigorated, his limbs stretched out, and he was overjoyed, humming a little tune and singing a leisurely song.

"Senior brother! That's great... but I feel the energy is still insufficient! Xiaoqing, make the flames bigger, don't be lazy, scoop water three times from the well to get good water, people love to train and improve their martial arts..." The tune changed: "I'm not afraid of heaven, I'm not afraid of earth, I'm only afraid of turtles talking nonsense... Brothers robbed with knives and spears, blood stained outsiders' shoes... I don't want gold or silver, I only want a glance that sparks affection... Fair wrists and slender fingers, lingering fragrance in my heart: Spring breeze, spring breeze, don't be still, blow towards the immortal abode, Jade Cave Heaven... those breasts... Senior brother said, is 'Jade Cave Heaven' as big as our 'Botai Cave Heaven'?" "Bullshit! Nonsense, the more you sing, the more inappropriate it becomes, it's simply vulgar, you only learn low-class things!" "Senior brother! You don't know, I once sneaked into the countryside to play, and saw some local thugs doing..." "What a mess! With my 'copper skin and iron bones,' I'll beat them to a pulp." "What bad thing did those thugs do that you stumbled upon?" "Senior brother! There was a man and a woman, completely naked, in the hut. The man was abusing the woman, riding on top of her and singing. The woman kept yelling, 'I'm dying... I'm dying...' It was about to kill her, so I broke down the door, dragged that despicable man down, and beat him until he was crawling on the ground like a turtle begging for mercy before I let him live!" "Oh! Really! What are you talking about! Sigh! I don't know what Master saw in you? I'm so annoyed!" Li Tanhua hurriedly poked his head out, staring in surprise at Huang Shigong, whose face was filled with anger.

"Senior brother! What's wrong? Did I say something wrong? Please don't be angry. I sing and talk to cheer you up. Even if it doesn't sound good, you don't need to get angry! Master said that when you're practicing Qi cultivation, you can't get angry or overjoyed, or you'll go into a Qi deviation... Are you really angry?" "Alas! You, the third-ranking scholar, lost both your parents less than three years after you were born. Master saw your innocent and carefree nature and brought you back, only saying that you had a deep connection with the young man on his mount, but who knew...?" "Senior brother! What is my relationship with Xiaoqing? Xiaoqing and I get along very well!" "What is your relationship?" "I don't know either, I'll ask Master when I have the chance!" "Senior Brother! What happened next?" "Master took you to the Heavenly Realm to visit fellow Daoists, where you encountered Jiang Ziya's shrewish wife, 'Broom Star,' and 'God of Fortune,' Yang Cheng. Seeing how adorable you were, they fawned over Master, vying to adopt you as their godson, each giving you their true energy. That's why you now have 'good fortune' in your left hand and 'bad luck' in your right. Master entrusted me with raising you for over ten years, and I've suffered quite a bit because of you..." Li Tanhua listened with great interest as Huang Shigong recounted his origins, eagerly asking, "Senior Brother! What happened? Did I give you..." "Are you causing trouble? Even a deity like you suffers?" Huang Shigong finished his work, sweat beading on his forehead. He wiped it with his sleeve, stroked his white beard, and muttered, seemingly unrelated, "Third Scholar! The Seven-Colored Dragon has appeared, and the 'Copper Skin and Iron Bones' technique is finally complete. These ten years haven't been in vain. Unless it's a thousand-year-old divine artifact, ordinary iron can't harm you. You're playful by nature, unable to concentrate, and your Taoist skills are disorganized. Only this treasure urn can help you forge your 'External Divine Chains.'" "Senior Brother! Master always comes and goes in a hurry. What is he busy with? I vaguely remember when we were little..." "You used to carry me around on clouds to visit friends, why haven't you taken me out for the past ten years?" "You're still playing around! I've never seen anyone as naughty and mischievous as you, you almost made me turn against some of my fellow Daoists. You plucked all the feathers off the divine cranes in the 'Divine Crane Pool' of the Antarctic Immortal, and killed several of them; you played with and broke the divine bell in the Palace of the God of Destiny, causing chaos in the movement of the stars and creating a 'leap month,' which led to the God of Destiny official Zhang Heng being banished to the mortal realm by the Jade Emperor, and he was so angry that he broke off relations with me; about twenty fairies who managed the Immortal Peach Garden took turns carrying you because you were so cute." "You're so funny! In no time, more than a dozen peach trees that your 'unlucky right hand' touched withered and died; you wanted to tear the fairy's robes, to suck her milk, making the fairy's heart flutter with lust, longing to become a mother. Just then, the Queen Mother of the West's carriage passed by and saw the fairy's wanton laughter and shameful behavior, so she banished them all to the mortal world to suffer the torment of unrequited love. I had to kneel before the Queen Mother of the West, holding you, begging for forgiveness... Alas! You've really ruined me! Do you think I'd still dare to take you out to visit friends?" "Senior brother! Really? I have no recollection of this at all!" "Still saying no..." "Would it? If it weren't for Master's correction of your lifelong dissolute and demonic nature, and his instructions for me to continuously gather elixirs to concoct you over the past ten years, who knows how much trouble you would have caused!" Living in the mountains where there is no sun or moon, and spending his days with the green ox, Li Tanhua, now a young man, was still innocent and pure, like a rough, unpolished jade. He remained unchanged, playing with his slingshot, and asked with his head held high, "Senior brother! Did you pass today's flight test?" "Yes! You did well. Your 'Flash Spirit Chasing Stars' is as fast as lightning; escaping and self-preservation are no problem. Master instructed that as long as the seven dragons in the red clay urn..." "Blessed by the radiant light, your journey is complete, you may now descend the mountain!" "Descend the mountain? You mean I can travel the Three Rivers and Five Sacred Mountains, broadening my horizons?" "Yes, traveling ten thousand miles is better than reading ten thousand books. But having lived in these high mountains for so long, you haven't witnessed the dangers of the world. I wonder if you can adapt to worldly life? Moreover, how about spreading the Dao, helping the world, and saving all sentient beings?" Li Tanhua also sensed something, thinking to himself, "Yes! I am but a mortal, I cannot escape eating, drinking, defecating, urinating, and sleeping. Yet, for the past ten years, I have never been troubled by worldly possessions. As the saying goes, 'When one person is well-fed, the whole family is at peace,' and so it is." "If I can't even manage two sets of clothes, how can I help others if I'm starving? Maybe I should stay in the mountains... But the outside world is too tempting. If I don't try it, won't I waste years? At worst, like last time, I'll eat and drink for free and get a beating from the guys. But with a body of steel, what's there to fear? The world is full of expenses... Hehe! I've got it! 'Botai Cave' is full of Shang and Qin artifacts. I'll take a few as travel expenses, then I won't have to worry about eating and sleeping outdoors. That's decided." Li Tanhua habitually shrugged, rubbed his hands together on his face, and secretly rejoiced.

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[The Prodigal God of Mischief] [The End]

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