[The Unofficial History of the Three Kingdoms] [The End]

I. A Night of Pleasure at the Inn, the Marquis of Ting Steals Two Sisters-in-Law

Since Luo Guanzhong wrote *Romance of the Three Kingdoms*, the world has believed it to be true, only praising Guan Yu as a hero. But they don't know that "food and sex are human nature"—after capturing and killing Lü Bu in Xiapi, Guan Yu repeatedly pleaded with Cao Cao, requesting one of Lü Bu's concubines. Cao Cao, suspecting the woman's beauty, took her for himself, displeasing Guan Yu. I am not mocking Guan Yu, but such is human nature; how can we fabricate or conceal it? Only by revealing the true nature of "worldly customs" can we live up to the expectations of the world. You all only know that Guan Yu surrendered to Cao Cao to protect his sister-in-law, but you don't know the true hidden story behind it!

Back then, Liu Bei stationed his troops at Xiaopei. Cao Cao knew Liu Bei was a dragon among men and feared his growing power, so he led an army of 200,000 to take Xuzhou. Xuande (Liu Bei) was originally an ordinary man, so he sent Zhang Fei to raid Cao Cao's camp at night. Cao Cao preemptively struck and defeated him. Xuande abandoned Xiaopei and surrendered to Yuan Shao, while the Xuzhou garrison commanders Mi Zhu and Jian Yong also fled. Cao Cao drove his troops straight to Xiapi. Guan Yu protected his two sisters-in-law and desperately held on. However, Liu Bei showed no regard for his brothers and wives, escaping alone: what a despicable man! As the ancients said, "If one cannot even manage one's family, how can one plan for the world?" Guan

Yu, alone in his isolated city, had no choice but to surrender. Cao Cao, who admired Guan Yu's talent and martial prowess, hosted a banquet in his honor. The next day, he returned to Xuchang. Guan Yu packed his carriages and invited his two sisters-in-law into the carriages, personally escorting them. At a roadside inn, Cao Cao, wanting to disrupt the proper relationship between ruler and subject, forced Guan Yu to share a room with his two sisters-in-law. Guan Yu stood outside with a candle, from night until dawn, showing no sign of fatigue.

That night, Guan Yu was secretly thinking of his elder brother and third brother when he suddenly heard whispers from inside the room. Fearing something might have happened to his two sisters-in-law, yet not daring to intrude into their chambers, Guan Yu hastily peeked through a hole in the paper window. He saw his two sisters-in-law completely naked, Lady Mi kissing Lady Gan. Lady Mi was the younger sister of Mi Zhu, a wealthy and noble woman, plump and fair-skinned; Lady Gan was a talented and romantic woman, skilled in poetry and prose. The two ladies, long neglected by Liu Bei and now suffering the hardships of exile, were deeply lonely. They removed their clothes and embraced each other to relieve their desires. Guan Yu, nearing forty and still unmarried, blushed deeply at the sight and quickly looked away. But how could a man in his prime, without a family, not be moved? Peeking again, he saw his two sisters-in-law embracing intimately, kissing passionately, their lewd words and actions need not be described.

Guan Yu couldn't bear to leave, leaning down to steal another peek, feeling his breath quicken and his groin grow hot and hard. The two sisters-in-law grew increasingly intimate, like fish in water: Lady Gan, skilled in seduction, instructed Lady Mi to scream and shout, part her red lips, stick out her fragrant tongue, loosen her cloud-like hair, reveal her plump white breasts… pressed chest to chest, intertwined thighs, grasped breasts and embraced buttocks, her crimson lips burning, her starry eyes slightly open. An endless array of captivating and alluring mannerisms, an incessant stream of seductive whispers.

Guan Yu, momentarily at a loss, gripped his "Guan Yu's Blade," almost bursting into the room for a fight. Just as he was hesitating, he suddenly saw a figure flash past in the back room. Guan Yu, suspecting a villain, drew his sword to investigate—it was Cao Cao! Guan Yu was greatly alarmed, seeing Cao Cao also spying. Mengde softly called to Guan Yu, "Guan Yu, be quiet, come quickly." Guan Yu said, "Prime Minister, what brings you here?" Cao Cao whispered, "Don't say anything more, just look at the erotic pictures of the Empress's sister-in-law." Guan Yu dared not ask further, and thus viewed them with Cao Cao. Inside the room, the two sisters-in-law's moans grew increasingly lewd, while outside, the two men's penises hardened. With a shout, all four ejaculated, their semen flowing across the ground. Cao Cao laughed, "Yun Chang, do you know the secret? I predict that the two sisters-in-law will soon be your mounts. I have had my fill; Yun Chang, you should act accordingly and not miss this opportunity." He then turned and left.

Guan Yu stood there dumbfounded for a long time, his blood boiling, unable to stop himself. He waited all night, and the next day went to see Cao Cao, saying, "I am but a fool; I beg the Prime Minister for guidance." Mengde laughed, "Yun Chang, a hero of the world, yet you have no good plan?" Yun Chang said with shame, "I am but a warrior; I humbly beg the Prime Minister for a brilliant plan." Cao Cao whispered instructions to him, saying that he could then enjoy the company of the two ladies. Yun Chang was overjoyed, bowed in gratitude, and left.

A few days later, he arrived in Xuchang. Cao Cao allocated a house for Guan Yu to live in and also sent him gold, silk, and beautiful women. Guan Yu thanked the Prime Minister and every day at his two sisters-in-law's door, he would ask, "Are you well, sisters-in-law?" After inquiring about his condition, they would reply, "Uncle, please take care of yourself." Only then would Guan Yu dare to leave. One day, Guan Yu heard his two sisters-in-law crying and rushed to inquire after them. He comforted them for a long time and instructed his maids to attend to them attentively before returning home. The next day, he again comforted his sisters-in-law, sending them fine silks, precious tonics, and other gifts to win their hearts. Afterward, he repeatedly comforted his sisters-in-law with a gentle and kind expression, putting their worries at ease. His sisters-in-law, moved by Guan Yu's kindness, often invited him to dine with them, sharing their sorrows of separation. Gradually, they became completely open and honest with each other, sharing everything.

Cao Cao, noticing Guan Yu's thin horse, gifted him the Red Hare. Guan Yu rode the Red Hare back to his residence. Lady Mi, seeing him, exclaimed excitedly, "Uncle, what a handsome sight you are!" Guan Yu hurriedly returned the greeting. Lady Mi, realizing her slip of the tongue, blushed deeply. Lady Gan laughed and said, "Uncle, with this warhorse, you're like a tiger with wings, invincible!" She then took a silk handkerchief to wipe Guan Yu's sweat. Guan Yu was startled and hurriedly accepted it with both hands, bowing his head in gratitude.

Others also said, "General Guan is invincible, and he and the Empress Dowager are as close as blood relatives; truly enviable." That night, Guan Yu was restless and went straight to his two sisters-in-law's courtyard, saying at the door, "Are you well, sisters-in-law? I'm here to serve you." The two ladies said, "Uncle, please come in. We're blood relatives; there's no need to avoid suspicion." Guan Yu then entered, dismissing the maids around him, and said, "I am deeply grateful for your kindness today." Lady Mi laughed and said, "Uncle, what are you saying? We women couldn't help ourselves when we saw your handsome appearance." Lady Gan also laughed, "Uncle is a hero of the world; to have you as a son..." "Uncle, we are truly fortunate to have been protected. We were almost in dire straits just now. If it weren't for your self-demotion and surrender to Cao Cao, how could we have survived?" Guan Yu bowed his head and said, "Sister-in-law, you flatter me. I dare not accept such praise." Lady Gan asked, "Uncle, have you ever married?" Guan Yu replied, "I have been traveling all year and have never had a wife." Lady Mi laughed and said, "Don't shy away from this. If you have someone in mind, your sister-in-law and I will act as matchmakers for you." Guan Yu blushed and said, "I really haven't. Please don't tease me, sister-in-law." Lady Gan teased him, "I heard that you once asked Cao Cao for a concubine from Lü Bu. Is that true?" Guan Yu lowered his head and did not answer. Lady Mi lay on the couch, chuckling softly, "Yun Chang, there's no need for this. It's just human nature.

Uncle, look at me and that concubine, which one is more beautiful?" Lady Gan laughed, "Yun Chang, have you ever seen my sister and I enjoying ourselves in our private moments?" Guan Yu, knowing his secret had been exposed, didn't try to hide it and could only tell her, "I was confused for a moment, I hope you'll forgive me, sister-in-law." Lady Gan said, "Uncle, there's no need for this. My sister and I wish to spend a night of pleasure with you, to repay your kindness and care!" Guan Yu was shocked and said, "How can this be? Sister-in-law, don't talk nonsense!" Lady Mi had already removed her clothes, revealing her plump, white, fragrant skin. Her eyes were alluring, and she said in a sweet voice, "Uncle, do you think I'm comparable to Lü Bu's concubine? Today, I'm willing to serve you, please don't refuse." Lady Gan gently took Guan Yu's arm and said, "Uncle, don't doubt it, don't miss this wonderful night." She pulled Guan Yu to the bedside, her charm stirring Guan Yu's heart.

Guan Yu thought to himself, "I've fought for my elder brother for half my life, and I'm still all alone. It's truly not easy. Now my sister-in-law is feeling lonely, and no one else knows. Why not secretly do something good for both of us?" So he embraced Lady Gan and said, "Sister-in-law, have you thought it through? You must not tell anyone about what I'm doing." Lady Gan leaned against Guan Yu and whispered affectionately, "Uncle, please enjoy yourself. I'm willing to serve you with my body." Guan Yu could no longer restrain himself. He embraced the petite beauty and kissed her passionately. Guan Yu was a fierce general, nine feet tall and incredibly strong. Now, embracing Lady Gan was like lifting a chick. He tore off her clothes, lifted her up, and began to caress and kiss her.

Lady Gan cried out in a flustered voice, "Uncle, why don't you satisfy my thirst and take Lady Gan first?" Guan Yu placed Lady Gan next to Lady Mi, undressed, and got into bed. He grabbed Lady Mi's large, white breasts and played with them wantonly, making her moan and groan. Lady Gan, not to be outdone, climbed onto Guan Yu's back, straddling him and caressing him with kisses and rubbing her most arousing points against his back. Lady Mi, after being fondled by Guan Yu for a long time, was completely limp, moaning softly. Guan Yu then thrust his "Guan Yu's Great Saber" inside, displaying the martial prowess he used in battle, "slashing and hacking fiercely."

Lady Mi was a plump, fair-skinned noblewoman. Normally, Liu Bei would only give her perfunctory treatment; how could she compare to Guan Yu's dedication? Her moans and cries were quickly slashed seven or eight times by her brother's "Great Saber," and she could only exclaim, "Uncle, you're so skilled! Your brother can't compare to you!" Guan Yu, praised by his sister-in-law, worked even harder, displaying all his skills. Lady Mi, completely lost in the moment, ignored the eavesdroppers outside, shouting and screaming, her lewd sounds deafening. After about an incense stick's time, Guan Yu still showed no signs of arousal. Lady Gan said, "I can take your place for a while." Guan Yu then pulled Lady Gan down and thrust into her all the way, nine shallow thrusts and one deep one, and then he fought with Lady Gan again.

Even though Lady Gan was incredibly alluring, she couldn't withstand Guan Yu's divine might. His "Guan Yu's Treasure Saber" swung left and right like a club, its movements remarkably similar to Guan Yu's "Guan Family Saber Technique." Lady Gan initially managed to hold on, but soon she was uttering incessant lewd cries, "Uncle's saber technique is unparalleled! Quickly take my life!" Guan Yu charged forward with unwavering might, having already slain Lady Gan ten times! He then drew his sword and attacked Lady Mi. Lady Mi, who had been waiting anxiously for some time, was in unbearable torment, spreading her plump legs, awaiting her fate. Guan Yu roared, exerting all his strength to fight his powerful enemy, and once again subdued Lady Mi, leaving her disarmed and wet. Guan Yu then grasped Lady Gan's beautiful breasts, refusing to let go, his two-foot-long beard draped over them, making her itch unbearably.

Even with Guan Yu's boundless strength, an hour had passed since the battle began. Lady Mi, beneath him, was completely disoriented, only able to moan wildly. Guan Yu, who could still hold on, suddenly remembered Cao Cao's secret plan—if you're going to do something, might as well go all the way and have a good time! With a roar, he thrust forth! Lady Mi felt as if struck by lightning; her eyes rolled back, she went limp like an insect, and fainted. Lady Gan hurriedly grasped Guan Yu's penis, licking and kissing it vigorously, and soon it became erect again. Guan Yu then took Lady Gan, repeating the process, and she too collapsed from ecstasy. From then on, Guan Yu and his two sisters-in-law performed their lovemaking every night. This continued until Guan Yu rode alone for a thousand miles, found Liu Bei, married, and had children, only then did he stop. How laughable was that Liu Bei, only concerned with his own ambition for hegemony, completely disregarding the lives of his wife and children, ultimately earning the title of "King of Cuckoldry," a title he remained unaware of until his death!

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