The Complete Story of the First and Second Parts of the Shogunate Romance

The Shogunate's Sentiments
Author: Shui Qing'er
Word Count: 61867 ********** ...
[I want to live. To survive, I can betray anyone, even sacrifice friends or lovers, I will not regret it...]
In this era where might makes right, he... only wishes to be the most ordinary mortal... ************************************************************************************
Prologue: The Sengoku period of Japan, the era of Toyotomi Hideyoshi . Cherry blossoms
...
Once, he thought he would never be moved in his life...
The first time he saw Azusa was on his twelfth birthday, also in the season of falling cherry blossoms...
As if to mourn his unfortunate fate, the cherry blossoms that year bloomed particularly early, and were particularly red and vibrant, forming a sea of flowers in the garden, and the passing wind, like waves, rose and fell... The
cherry blossoms were as red as blood...
Then... in this sea of red flowers, he found Azusa—a person like a peerless flower spirit.
Those were his most beautiful memories, memories he could never forget…
those amber eyes…
“Who… are you…?” A little girl, about six or seven years old, dressed in a white kimono with red flowers, stared at the stranger before her with her large amber eyes, completely oblivious to the red petals still clinging to her kimono. Clearly, she didn't know that the person before her was the owner of this garden.
This was understandable, as this wasn't a place just anyone could trespass on, hence the little girl's puzzled expression.
“You don't know who I am?” This was strange… He, dressed in a traditional straight-cut kimono, also curiously examined the little girl's delicate, rosy-cheeked face.
So beautiful… like a doll… he admired inwardly.
Could it be… he was also one of today's “guests”? A flicker of disgust crossed the boy's eyes, but he hid it well, and it wasn't noticed.
“Who are you?” Clearly, he didn't know the answer.
"You really don't know?"
"I don't know..." This time, he shook his head decisively, his long, neatly combed hair swaying in the wind with his movement.
Early this morning, his father had suddenly woken him, instructing servants to help him dress and then hurriedly brought him here. He didn't even know where he was, let alone who he was.
But this place is so beautiful! He'd never seen so many cherry blossom trees in the palace before; it was dazzling...
"You really like cherry blossoms?" He seemed to be having a lot of fun by himself.
How long had it been since he'd had such a good time? Thinking
this, he realized he had no such memory... He seemed a little jealous of the child before him.
"Yes!!" The girl nodded vigorously, seemingly agreeing with him. "So beautiful! I've never seen so many cherry blossoms."
"Where are your family?" This wasn't an ordinary place; he couldn't possibly have come alone. Besides, he hadn't seen a single person, and this was the inner palace's forbidden area; outsiders could never enter.
The girl had no idea that this place... was the so-called East Palace, the residence of the next emperor's heir, or perhaps a prison would be a more fitting description.
"I don't know..." she murmured, lowering her head, seemingly only now remembering that she was lost.
"Who did you come with?"
"Father..."
"I think I know where your father is." After a moment's thought, he said confidently.
"Really?"
"Yes... I wouldn't lie to you." He stroked her seemingly delicate cheek, and without hesitation, gently lowered his head to plant a kiss.
The little girl smiled broadly, completely unsuspecting of his actions.
He seemed to exude a reassuring aura; even though it was their first meeting, he gave off that feeling, a gentleness that was intoxicating...
"What's your name?"
"Azusa... Izumi Azusa..."
"Can I call you Azusa-chan?" What a boyish name! He thought to himself.
"Yes..." he nodded again.
"My name is Pei Yi, you can call me that..." She was the only person in the world to call him that. From now on... probably no one will ever call him by that name again!
In that instant, a thought suddenly occurred to him... he wanted to possess this treasure alone, to hide it in a place only he knew, not letting anyone share it.
But he also understood that this was impossible forever; after today... he would be a puppet who couldn't even have a [secret].
Thinking this, he couldn't help but laugh self-deprecatingly.
Puppet... what a jarring word...
"Let's go! I'll take you to find your father..."
"Okay~~!!" Unaware of the turmoil in his heart, the girl happily took his hand and followed him, trusting him completely, without a trace of doubt.
That day... was the luckiest yet saddest day of his life...
Luckily, he met a flawless flower spirit in a sea of cherry blossoms.
Tragically… that day was also the day he was made Crown Prince…
but everyone, including the guests who came to congratulate him, knew perfectly well that he… was merely a puppet emperor under Toyotomi Hideyoshi.
Puppet… a jarring term… The Tokugawa family is everything…
Without the Tokugawa family, there would be no you. You were born for the Tokugawa family…
Your existence… is only for the Tokugawa family…
Ten years later…
at the Tokugawa residence
, “Young Master Azusa… the General wants you to see him…”
“Tell him to wait a moment…”
“Yes…”
Calmly letting the maid comb her hair, her amber eyes coldly gazed at the exquisitely beautiful figure before her, her indifferent face revealing no emotion.
That person… is looking for her again… surely he needs something from her again?!
A faint smile appeared on her delicate face, but unfortunately, the smile did not reach her amber eyes; it was a chilling smile.
It wasn’t the first time. Anyway, her existence was for this, wasn’t it?
In that case, what was there to complain about? "Xiao Die, stop combing your hair and get my zither." He gave a slight bow and calmly instructed the girl who was still combing his hair.
"But General..." The girl called Xiao Die seemed hesitant.
"Make him wait!" Without giving Xiao Die a chance to hesitate, he coldly stated that he was not to be ignored.
"Yes..." Without saying much, Xiaodie obediently left.
Watching Xiaodie's retreating figure, satisfaction appeared in his eyes. Xiaodie was different from ordinary women; she didn't talk much. Unless necessary, she would remain silent, just like him.
He got up and walked towards the gate. His unbound black hair fell onto his light purple straight-cut kimono with his movements, and as he opened the gate, it fluttered in the breeze, swaying like waves.
If only he could drift away like that.
"Young master, the zither." Xiaodie, who had appeared unnoticed, handed him a guqin.
"Thank you..."
He stretched out his slender fingers and gently stroked the strings, recalling the origin of the zither.
It was when he completed a mission that someone asked him what he wanted as a reward. He thought for a moment and said he wanted a zither.
The incredulous expressions on the faces of those who expected him to demand vast amounts of gold and jewels when he said this are still vivid in their memories.
He thought he wanted some rare and priceless ancient zither, and went to great lengths to acquire many valuable instruments—some made of thousand-year-old sandalwood, others inlaid with jade and luminous pearls. When he ordered them laid out for him to choose from, their dazzling brilliance eclipsed any other treasure.
But he was wrong. He simply wanted an ordinary zither.
Just a playable one…
Everyone held their breath, curious to see which rare instrument, one that most people might never even see in their lifetime, would he choose. And the result… nearly made their jaws drop.
He pointed to the zither held by a courtesan entertaining the guests, and said in crystal clarity, “I just want an ordinary zither. How about this one?”
Afterwards, everyone thought he had gone mad, and he never owned another zither.
He wanted the zither simply to play it. No matter how valuable it was, a zither was still just a zither; it couldn't serve any other purpose. Ornate decorations were merely a burden to a zither. He
gently plucked the taut strings, listening to the single notes flow from his hands, then weave together into a melody. In the empty room, it added no life, only making the emptiness more pronounced.
*Whoosh*—the sound of a paper door being pulled open came from behind. The swift movement showed the newcomer's familiarity with the house and its owner, but he didn't turn around, not even changing his expression.
"Xiao Zi, don't be willful..." the newcomer said calmly.
"Willful...?" He smiled dismissively, still not looking at the speaker. "Xiuyan, you should know that being willful is permissible when you need someone's help, right?!"
Of course, that person should understand that too. He added silently to himself.
"Xiao Zi..."
"Don't say that, Xiu Yan. With such a beautiful view, don't spoil the mood." He slowly turned around, finally looking directly at the man named Xiu Yan.
His delicate face, reflecting his own image, and his amber eyes made the man slightly lose his composure, clenching his fists, seemingly suppressing the urge to brush away the stray bangs for the stunningly beautiful woman before him.
"But General..." He seemed to still want to struggle.
"Tell me... is that person more important...? Or am I more important...?" A faint, alluring smile. He knew his charm all too well, and was absolutely certain—no one could resist his smile. So
many relationships between rulers and subjects, fathers and sons, brothers had been destroyed by his smile. Too many examples made him understand his charm all too well, and... the fragility of the human heart...
just one smile from him...
it seems the human heart is truly unreliable, even the closest relatives are not immune... He came to a conclusion in his heart.
"Of course it's you..."
"That's good..." He licked his cherry lips, satisfied to see the uneasy expression on the man's face.
Whoosh—the door was pulled open again.
"Izumi Azusa, how dare you!! You actually dared to keep the Shogun waiting for you, and you're just sitting here leisurely~!!" A young woman in a pink kimono entered, shouting indiscriminately without asking any questions.
Upon closer inspection, it wasn't hard to see that she was a rather beautiful young woman, but unfortunately, her arrogance somewhat diminished her ladylike demeanor.
"Sister-in-law, don't be so angry~!" Hidehiko, seeing the atmosphere was getting tense, quickly tried to smooth things over.
"Did I say something wrong? It's the Shogun's honor to see him. Who does he think he is, daring to keep the Shogun waiting for him?!"
"Sister-in-law..." Hidehiko seemed to want to say something, but was interrupted again.
"I'm warning you, if you continue to be so arrogant, watch out, I, Tokugawa Chika, will make you pay!!" She pointed a slender finger at Azusa, who hadn't even looked at her from beginning to end. When she saw Azusa's indifferent expression, her anger flared up even more. "What kind of attitude is that?! You better watch yourself!!"
"Sister-in-law, don't be like that..."
"May I ask... how do you intend to make me look bad, Mrs. Chikayo?" He slowly turned to look at Chikayo, speaking slowly but clearly. "When Master Oshin was here, I had nothing to say, but may I ask... how do you intend to make me look bad now?"
His tone was infinitely contemptuous, his eyes filled with sarcastic flirtatiousness. To get rid of this crazy woman who was disturbing his peace, he didn't care about saying more.
Besides... it was time to let this woman see what reality was...
"Mrs. Chikayo, I think it's not your place to interfere in the affairs of the Tokugawa family..."
"You..." Startled by his words, she was speechless for a moment, not knowing how to respond.
Chikayo was originally the daughter of the Uesugi family, a military family. To curry favor with the Uesugi and Tokugawa families, she was betrothed to Tokugawa Ouma, the eldest son of the Tokugawa family. She later gave birth to a daughter. Due to her husband's influence, he completely lost his spoiled attitude from his maternal family, but she still maintained her status as the lady of
the house in the Tokugawa household. With the power of her maternal family, even the Tokugawa shogun had to show her respect. However, her good fortune didn't last long. First, her husband passed away, and the decision-making power in the family fell into the hands of the second son, Tokugawa Hidehiko. In addition, the Tokugawa and Uesugi families became enemies, making her status as the lady of the house in name only overnight. She had nowhere to vent her anger, and Azusa, who was also in the household, naturally became her target.
She was unwilling to accept this. How long had it been since the Tokugawa shogun had even looked at her properly? How could this disgusting man rightfully replace her?!
"Lady Chikayo... I advise you to go back to your Seiyo-ken. If the shogun finds out that you have trespassed into the Maple Cherry Pavilion, it won't be a joke..." He pointed to the figure at the end of the corridor.
"Huh?!" she exclaimed, quickly grabbing the hem of her kimono and running in the opposite direction, ignoring Azusa's sarcastic remarks and praying that no one would discover she had gone to the Maple Pavilion.
At that time, it was a serious offense for a woman, especially a married woman, to appear in a man's residence; even if they met, they had to be separated by a curtain.
She had already lost too much; if she were branded with this crime, her life would be over.
Just as one person had finally left, another arrived uninvited…
Unsurprisingly, that person's voice rang out shortly after.
"You're the first one to make me wait until you come to see me in person, Azusa…" The calm tone came from none other than the shogun they were talking about—Tokugawa Ieyasu.
The Toyotomi retainers, renowned for their cruelty and ruthlessness.
"I'm truly sorry, Shogun..." The insincerity in his tone was obvious to everyone; he didn't even bother to look at him.
"Azusa..." Hidehiko, disapproving of Azusa's attitude, quickly whispered a hint.
Only Azusa dared to face the Tokugawa Shogun with such an attitude, though it often nearly paralyzed his heart.
Surprisingly, the Tokugawa Shogun didn't get angry.
"You should know why I've come to see you, right?!"
"Who is it this time?" Without asking much, he coldly asked the most important question; he didn't want to know anything else.
"Crown Prince Tōkyō..."
"I know..." He responded coldly, then turned and walked out of the corridor to his private room, showing no respect whatsoever for the Shogun.
He hated that person, hated him so much that he couldn't bear the air around him for even a second longer.
Even so, he hated himself even more for obeying that person…
“Ha! This child is really arrogant!” The conversation between the general and Hidehiko, whom he had abandoned, came from the wall.
“Father… don’t blame Azusa, he didn’t mean it…”
“Ha! How could I blame him…”
Leaning weakly against the wall, he laughed self-deprecatingly. He asked himself, how many people in this world would dare to treat the feared Tokugawa Ieyasu like this?
And he understood… he couldn’t leave the Tokugawa family, but Tokugawa Ieyasu absolutely couldn’t leave him.
He hated that person, and that person must hate him too!
Looking up, he unsurprisingly saw a portrait of a peerless maid hanging on the wall. The woman in the painting smiled charmingly, clearly a peerless beauty.
Unconsciously, he stepped forward and touched the painting. Looking at the face in the painting that resembled his own, resentment and disgust flashed in his amber eyes, but more than anything, sadness.
"Heh...are you satisfied now, Mother?"
&
&
& It was a fact that everyone with eyes could see that Tokugawa Ieyasu intended to replace Toyotomi Hideyoshi.
Sitting blankly on the wooden veranda, Azusa leaned against a carved pillar, gazing blankly at the crystal-clear night sky, lost in thought.
Lady Chika despised him, the entire Tokugawa family despised him, even…he despised him.
And tragically, he had no way to escape…
"Azusa…" A male voice rang out; it was Hidehiko's voice. "It's easy to catch a cold here…"
Before Azusa could reply, Hidehiko gently embraced him from behind, tenderly trying to warm the person in his arms with his own body heat.
"…" Azusa didn't speak, only closing his eyes and leaning his entire weight back, his actions demonstrating his complete trust in Hidehiko.
"Will you blame your father, Azusa?" Feeling the terrifyingly low temperature of the soft body in his arms, he asked softly.
"Do I have the right to blame him? After all, I was born for the Tokugawa family, wasn't I?" His sarcastic tone revealed the depth of his resentment, but what could he do?
In this turbulent era, only the strong survived, and the Tokugawa family was no exception.
Especially... as the Toyotomi clan gradually declined...
there was no justice, no fairness. It was a chaotic era where strength and military power allowed one to do as one pleased, while the weak... had no choice but to be eliminated or to attach themselves to the strong...
Tokugawa Ieyasu was a typical example, arrogant and domineering, even going so far as to raise his own children as weapons. From a young age, every child raised in the Tokugawa family received a different education, yet they were all instilled with the same idea: "
Without the Tokugawa family, there would be no you...
You were born for the Tokugawa family..."
His mother, on her deathbed, repeatedly told him this, and it was because of this that he had no choice but to remain in the Tokugawa family.
Three years ago, when Senhime was only thirteen years old and married, she said to him:
"If... we exist for the Tokugawa family, then what are we if the Tokugawa family is gone?"
He didn't know the answer...
Tokugawa Senhime... the granddaughter of Tokugawa Ieyasu, the only daughter of Lady Senka and Tokugawa Osamu, yet she still couldn't escape the fate of being used as a pawn. What right did he have to complain?
"Azusa..."
"Don't say that. I'm going to the Forbidden City tomorrow. Don't you have anything else to say to me?" With a faint, seductive smile, he turned over lightly and boldly climbed onto Hidehiko's neck, intentionally or unintentionally seducing the handsome man before him.
"Heh..."
He didn't seem to intend to refuse the teasing of the person in his arms. He turned over and pressed Azusa down, burying his face in the crook of his neck, absorbing the unique tranquility that belonged to him.
"I love you... my beautiful Azusa..." Her flawless body unfolded before him with his movements. While admiring her, he couldn't help but bend down, worshipping this masterpiece of nature with kisses, leaving his own marks upon it.
Besides himself... who else had ever touched this slender body?
Azusa, seemingly lost in Hidehiko's kiss, had unknowingly opened her amber eyes, staring blankly at the azure night sky above, but the man pleasing her didn't notice.
The sky... so far away... The Crown Prince... a position everyone envied, a symbol of power...
who would know that all of this was merely a magnificent cage, a cage set up to lock away hearts and the imperial family?
As the Crown Prince, no one cared whether he was happy, especially not Toyotomi Hideyoshi. As long as he fulfilled his duty as the future Emperor, everything else was dispensable.
Everyone cared about the [Crown Prince], not Pei Yi himself...
would that child from back then feel the same way? Unconsciously, the image of that playful figure among the cherry blossoms resurfaced in his mind, along with those amber eyes…
More than ten years have passed… How is that child now? She must be a remarkably beautiful woman, a wife and mother.
Remembering the unwavering trust in those amber eyes, and gazing at the cherry tree where they first met, a profound sorrow flashed in Pei's eyes.
This is an era where trust is impossible. No matter how close someone is, they might betray you in the next second. The weak, to protect themselves… choose betrayal, clinging to the strong for survival; the strong, to protect themselves… choose never to trust anyone other than themselves.
Fratricide is commonplace; he had even witnessed a son offering his father's head as a reward.
Gaining the trust of others… never trusting anyone other than oneself… It's cruel, but it's the primary condition for success.
But even so… why could that child still trust him without hesitation?
"Thinking about that child again?" A clear female voice rang out, accompanied by a strong jasmine scent. A woman of about twenty years old walked in, trailing a long kimono. A tassel was tied in her elegant hair bun, and it was clear that she was a married young woman.
She was none other than the current Emperor's favorite concubine—Hayakawa-ji Geki. For a married woman to appear in a man's quarters was considered impolite at the time, so the maid who entered quickly stepped forward and tied a semi-transparent curtain between them.
"I don't have many memorable things in my life, do you even want to interfere with this?" A sarcastic smile appeared on his face.
"Heh...ten years have passed, and you still can't forget that child?" Looking at Geki's lost gaze in the garden, she couldn't help but shake her head. "For the past ten years, you've always been staring blankly at that cherry tree, is it really that hard to forget?"
"I can't forget what I want to forget, let alone what I don't want to forget?" Ignoring Geki's slightly mocking tone, he knelt down and poured himself a cup of tea.
He had considered looking for the child, but after searching all the guests, he found no man with the surname Izumi, and not even a young girl at the ball.
Who was that child?
"Sometimes, being unable to forget someone isn't a good thing... You should understand that, Pei." Yunji reminded her, unable to bear it any longer.
"So, are you happy now, Yunji?" She looked up and stared directly at the figure behind the curtain, feeling his gaze even through the curtain. "You possess beauty, status, power—everything many people can only dream of in their entire lives. Are you truly satisfied?"
"I am satisfied... but I'm not happy..." Yunji sighed softly, readily admitting it. "If I had a choice, I would give up everything to live the life I want, to do the things I want to do, but reality doesn't allow me to be so willful. I can't ignore my family and Xinya."
Xinya was her four-year-old son, Peiyi's half-brother.
"In the end, I can't let go..." Yunji was, and wasn't she too?
"Oh, right, I almost forgot, I've prepared a 'grand gift' for you this time!" Yunji seemed to remember something and quickly turned around to whisper a few words to the maid behind her. The maid then hurriedly left.
"A grand gift?" This was strange. What would Yunji want to give him?
"Hmm... Although it can't replace that child, I believe you'll like it..." Glancing towards the door, Yunji softly said, "Zi'er, come in!"
"Yes..."
Although it was just a single syllable, the clear and cold voice successfully caught Pei's attention, making him involuntarily look at the speaker. Unexpectedly, upon seeing her, he seemed to have his soul sucked away, and stood there stunned.
What a beautiful person... especially those amber eyes...
"My name is Quanchuan Zi... Greetings, Your Highness..."
&
&
& Undeniably, when he first saw Crown Prince Peiyi, he was indeed secretly surprised. He hadn't expected that the rumored Crown Prince was actually the big boy he had met when he was lost as a child.
But soon, he immediately learned the reason…
Heh… This was that person's handiwork again… To actually set this trap ten years ago shows just how cunning that person is.
What would the man before him think if he knew he was no different from a butterfly caught in a spider's web?
"Izumi… Azusa…" Could it be that child?
"Heh~! I'll take my leave now, lest I disturb Your Highness's enjoyment." Satisfied to see the amazement in Pei Yi's eyes, Yun Ji bowed slightly and took her leave, leaving a maid to remove the curtain.
But before leaving, she gave Pei Yi and Azusa a meaningful look.
Perhaps what she did was wrong, but she couldn't ignore herself and Xin Ya. Even though the Crown Prince had always treated her well, she had no other choice...
Let fate decide...
The strong jasmine scent gradually faded as Yun Ji left, replaced by a pleasant, delicate fragrance of epiphyllum. He was familiar with this scent; he knew that girls in brothels often wore epiphyllum perfume to distinguish themselves from respectable young ladies. With
an androgynous face, a slender figure, and the scent of epiphyllum, Zi's identity was self-evident.
"Are you... a male prostitute?" Without any attempt at concealment, he bluntly asked this abrupt question.
"If Your Highness believes I am, I have no reason to deny it." He raised his head to look directly into Pei's eyes, his amber pupils unusually calm, seemingly unashamed of the question or his own identity.
But this Crown Prince is truly interesting. Everyone who's ever met him before is too busy trying to curry favor with him. Compared to that, the man before him is far too difficult to control.
It seems… he's met his match…
"So… you often encounter this kind of thing, right? Being given away like a gift…" Stepping forward, he lifted that beautifully curved chin with one hand, unexpectedly discovering his own reflection in that clear amber gaze.
Could a pederasty's eyes be as flawless as an infant's?
"The same words, if Your Highness thinks so, I won't deny it." Without any struggle or resistance, he obediently allowed Pei to manipulate him.
"Is that so?" Provocatively, Pei suddenly wanted to know the limits of this beautiful man.
Slowly lowering his head, he accurately found those rosy lips and pressed his scent upon them, feeling the delicate, slightly moist, wonderful touch. Although it was just a touch, he still clearly felt Zi's body stiffen for a moment.
"You hate being kissed?" He narrowed his eyes, his large hand caressing Zi's delicate face.
"No, Your Highness." It's just that I'm not used to it.
Xiuyan rarely kissed me, and those who had him in the past were too lazy to kiss a male concubine, so it was only natural that I wasn't used to it.
"Then you should know your duty as a male concubine, right?" Pei's face was expressionless, making it impossible to guess his thoughts.
"I believe I can do it." Ha! After all that talk, the purpose is still the same? A hint of disgust flashed in Zi's eyes, but he hid it well, not letting Pei notice.
Are all men in the world this...foolish?! If that's the case, being dethroned is his own fault, who can he blame?
He gently untied the sash of his light purple robe, revealing only a close-fitting shirt covering his slender body. With one hand free, he removed the hairpin from his hair bun, and instantly, his fine, dark hair cascaded down like a waterfall, falling onto his slightly parted neck, looking incredibly alluring.
He heard a satisfied sound of swallowing beside him; what he saw in Pei's eyes was not just amazement, but also overwhelming desire.
"Satisfied?" he asked, boldly wrapping his arms around Pei's neck.
Pei's response was to pull him into her embrace, almost roughly stripping off his thin shirt, her eyes greedily gazing at his white body with blatant malice, biting and leaving marks of her own, the force so strong that blood seeped out. At the same time, he heard Zi's cries of pain.
"It hurts, Your Highness..."
"A boy has no right to cry out in pain." With a cold remark, Pei showed no pity for the person beneath him, his grip remaining firm.
How many men had held this perfect body? How many men had he, seemingly flawless, writhed and groaned beneath? These thoughts nearly drove Pei mad.
The person he had longed for for ten years was like this—how could he accept it?!
Like a vengeful man, he thrust his desire into Zi's untouched passage, ignoring her cries and struggles, determined to vent his anger and lust, completely disregarding Zi's condition.
Bright red liquid slowly flowed down their joined bodies with his movements; he wasn't unaware, but he didn't stop…
It hurts… My body hurts so much, but why does my heart hurt too…?
Struggling to open her eyes, looking at the man penetrating her from above, tears… unconsciously… silently streamed down her face… 3 It hurts so much—this was Zi's only thought upon waking.
And Pei… was no longer beside her…
It really hurts, not just the waves of pain from below, but her entire body ached, completely powerless, and the liquid flowing from between her legs reminded her of the kind of debauched night she had endured. How
long had it been since this? It was
n't the first time, although the pain afterward was always equally unbearable, but this time it seemed even more profound.
This is why Zi almost utterly loathed sex. Aside from the tearing pain and the forced pleasure, his heart was filled with emptiness.
Helplessly… even with a thousand unwilling thoughts, his body, having been trained by that man, had no resistance to sex.
He would never forget that night, the night his beloved mother passed away. That man brought three strange men to his residence—Maple Cherry Pavilion—coldly watching him beg for mercy, resist, and… be raped…
He struggled incessantly, but the strength of a child was utterly useless against three grown men. All night… he didn't know how many times he was forced; the only feeling he could experience, besides pain, was utter despair.
And what he couldn't forget even more was that man's cold eyes…
coldly watching him cry and plead for help, cruelly offering no response, just watching, watching this shameful scene.
Pain… that was his only memory of his first time…
a dark memory. From then on, that person imprisoned him in the backyard, where different men came every night. No matter how much he struggled and cried out, no one was willing to rescue him. Until finally, he gave up even futile resistance, letting himself be manipulated like a doll.
That person's goal was to mold him into a perfect sex tool, and he truly succeeded.
That year… he was only twelve years old…
Two years later, that person exchanged military power for him, giving him to Akechi Mitsuhide, a general under Toyotomi Hideyoshi. Later, Akechi Mitsuhide's betrayal of Toyotomi Hideyoshi was exposed, leading to the extermination of his clan.
Needless to say, it was that person who leaked the secret.
And he… naturally, was taken back to the Tokugawa residence by that person, and once again given away under certain conditions.
Over the years, apart from that person, no one who had ever possessed him had a good ending, and this filthy body had been held by countless men, he himself had almost lost count… His
body was a weapon cultivated by that person… “
Heh… Haha ... Struggling to lift his frail body, the pain in his groin made even this seemingly simple movement incredibly difficult. He gasped for breath, feeling his consciousness beginning to blur, and the scenery before him becoming unreal. It really hurts… If it were Xiuyan, he would surely be so considerate in taking care of him! Unconsciously, he seemed to feel Xiuyan's warm, large hands. If it were Xiuyan, he would surely treat him so gently… Subconsciously, he reached out and grasped that source of warmth, pressing his hand against his delicate, slightly cool cheek, nuzzling against him like a kitten. "Xiuyan…" Xiuyan ?! Who 's that? One of his men? A wave of displeasure surged in Pei's heart. Pei, though frowning, still gently lifted Zi, letting him lie in the most comfortable position in his arms. Seeing the hickeys all over Zi's body and his pained expression, he felt a pang of regret. He knew his rough actions must have hurt this delicate person. But the thought that Zi had also moaned and cried beneath other men made his reason seem to snap, beyond his control. He got up to fetch some water and medicine, but when he returned, he found Zi weak and dizzy. It seemed his desires had truly hurt him. Since that was the case, staying here wasn't a solution... "Sigh..." He sighed softly and decided to take Zi back to his room. He picked up the robe Zi had taken off earlier and draped it over Zi's thin body. The undershirt had been torn by his roughness. When had he ever lost control like this? In his memory, he was supposed to be a composed person... "Hehe~! Your Highness, you really don't know how to cherish a beautiful woman~! Such a beautiful woman, it's heartbreaking to see!" A voice suddenly rang out, accompanied by hearty laughter. Shad leaned against the door with great interest, watching Pei and Zi in his arms. The hall still held the lingering atmosphere of passion. Judging from Zi, who was only draped in a robe but couldn't conceal the hickeys and bruises, it wasn't hard to tell what had just happened. This was strange; he hadn't expected this to reveal a side of Pei that no one else knew. "How long have you been watching, Shad?" His calm tone showed no surprise; Pei seemed quite used to the visitor's rudeness. "Not long, just happened to see a side of you that no one else knows." His teasing words revealed that he didn't hold Pei, the Crown Prince, in much respect. He and Pei had grown up together since childhood, and out of habit, even though he was Pei's subject in official matters, they were close friends who could confide in each other. Of course… if Pei thought so too… "Do you know that trespassing in the Forbidden City is a capital offense, Shad?" "Heh heh~! Would you really want me dead, Pei?" Shad produced a fan from somewhere, fanning himself as he spoke coolly. "When I can't stand your nagging anymore." Looking down at Zi, who showed no signs of waking up, he finally relaxed and let Shad tease him. "So, I'm not in any immediate danger?!" Buddha Tiger Beard was probably referring to Shad's current behavior. "Shad..." The lowered voice made Shad wisely change the subject.

"Who is the beauty in your arms? She's as beautiful as a doll, perhaps even more beautiful than Princess Ningning."
Ningning is Pei's younger sister from the same mother, and the most famous beauty in the royal family. It is said that she is like a finely carved doll, so beautiful that one can't help but want to collect her, or even possess her.
However, Ningning has been in poor health since childhood, so she is still unmarried at the age of seventeen. But her delicate temperament makes men feel even more protective of her.
At that time, most women married at the age of twelve or thirteen, so although Ningning is only seventeen, she is already past the marriageable age.
"His name is Zi, and Yun Ji sent him here." Pei stated the facts without saying much.
"Yun Ji?!" Shade frowned slightly and asked hesitantly. "Pei, you should know that Yun Ji is supported by the Tokugawa family, right?"
"Yes..." Pei nodded.
"The Tokugawa family has recently shown interest in replacing the Toyotomi clan, and it's hard to say..." He glanced at the sleeping Azusa, his meaning clear.
Although Pei deeply hated the Toyotomi clan, it was an undeniable fact that the position of Crown Prince was secured by Toyotomi Hideyoshi. If the Tokugawa family truly intended to replace the Toyotomi clan, the first thing they would do was to eliminate the power within the imperial family.
"Shad, you should know that I have never coveted the position of Crown Prince..." He gave Azusa a deep look. He wasn't without suspicion; he had considered it when Yunji gave Azusa to him. But since the Tokugawa family had offered this beautiful girl to him, how could he refuse?
Even if she was a male concubine... he didn't want to let her go...
"Your Highness!" He uttered a rarely used honorific, showing how seriously Shad took the matter. "Perhaps you've never coveted fame or fortune, but have you ever thought about the people around you? Even if you truly don't care, once you give up, you might not even be able to save your life."
Being in the palace is like playing a game with no way out; you can't just quit whenever you want. One wrong move, and you'll pay for more than just your own life.
"I have my own plans..." Turning around, he ignored Shad and hugged Zi tightly as they returned to his chambers.
Shad, left behind by Pei, watched Pei's departing figure with a heavy expression, secretly calculating the situation in his mind—a stark contrast to his earlier jovial demeanor.
Finally, he came to a conclusion.
That man... he had to be eliminated...
but how? It would be best to act quickly before Pei did anything shocking. Judging from the infatuated look in Pei's eyes at that man, it was hard to guarantee that Pei wouldn't do something unexpected.
Pei was always supposed to be a composed person, so composed that Shad almost thought Pei had no heart.
He hadn't expected that this time... Pei was truly moved...
That man... was too dangerous... Shad pondered as he walked.
He didn't notice a white figure lurking behind the wall, having overheard every word of his conversation with Pei.
Judging from her figure, it was clearly a tall woman.
Heh... it seemed something interesting was about to happen... A chilling smile gradually appeared on the doll-like face of the figure's owner, before she turned and left, as serenely as if she had never been there.
Games always need an audience, don't they?
Back in her room, Pei gently placed Zi on a soft embroidered cushion, gazing at the sleeping girl with boundless tenderness.
"Azusa... If you belong only to me from now on, I will treat you very well, even if... you don't love me, it doesn't matter..." Azusa... If you belong only to me from now on, I will treat you very well, even if... you don't love me, it doesn't matter...
In a half-dream, half-awake state, Azusa seemed to hear a reassuring sentence .
Who... could it be? Only Hidehiko would be so gentle with him! But isn't this the Forbidden Palace? Hidehiko couldn't possibly be here.
Struggling to open his eyes, Azusa saw Pei's worried face. But that was impossible. Didn't Pei despise him terribly? He would never look at him with such gentle eyes. Perhaps... he was still in the dream...
"Azusa, are you still feeling unwell?" Carefully wiping the sweat from Azusa's forehead with a damp silk handkerchief, Pei's warm hands gently stroked Azusa's delicate yet cold face, hoping to alleviate his pain.
"Water..." She opened her mouth slightly, only to find her throat incredibly dry. Instinctively, she just wanted some water to soothe her aching throat.
"I know..." As if she had expected it, Pei took a water glass that was clearly prepared beforehand, sipped it a few times, then bent down and accurately placed it on Zi's cherry lips, feeding her water with his mouth.
"Mmm..." The cool liquid slid down her throat, and Zi felt an indescribable sense of comfort.
"Want more?"
"Mmm..." Zi didn't speak, but nodded instead.
Seeing Zi's permission, Pei seemed to have no more reservations. After drinking a few more sips, he continued to feed her water, even chasing and licking the water droplets that hadn't yet been swallowed and were sliding down Zi's lips.
The deep red tongue lightly licking the transparent water droplets was a sight with a hint of eroticism, making Zi, who was witnessing it, blush.
"Your Highness..."
"Call me Pei." A cold, decisive sentence, his tone leaving no room for argument.
"But..." That's against etiquette!
Unfortunately, the words he wanted to say were cut short when Pei kissed him again.
The feeling of kissing him was truly wonderful. The thought that perhaps only he had carefully savored these lips was like the rich aroma of an aged wine, sweet and addictive.
The kiss lingered, and Pei looked up, satisfied to see Zi's lips glistening with a rosy hue because of him. "Do you remember when I told you you could call me Pei..."
Zi knew he was referring to ten years ago, when they first met.
"But back then I didn't know you were the Crown Prince, and besides, I was just a male concubine..."
"Don't think so much. In the Forbidden City, just think of me..." He touched Zi's lips, refusing to listen to Zi's complaints about the distance between them.
Even though… what Zi said was true…
“Your Highness…” He had changed, become gentle. Zi almost doubted whether the man who had forced himself on her back then was the same man before her.
“Xiuyan… is your lover?” Pei suddenly blurted out a completely unrelated question.
“Huh?!” Why did Pei know Xiuyan?
“When you were unconscious, you kept calling his name. Don’t you remember?”
Zi shook her head honestly.
“Xiuyan was a very kind and gentle man to me, but that’s all in the past…” Zi spoke calmly, but in Pei’s eyes, it looked like deep attachment.
Was she really that attached to that man? Pei found herself starting to feel jealous of Xiuyan, whom she had never met.
Since Zi was a male concubine, there must have been countless people who had possessed him, yet only this man could make Zi unable to forget him, even unconsciously calling out his name. It wasn’t hard to see how important the man named [Xiuyan] was in Zi’s heart.
"If he was really that good to you, why did he give you away?" Negative emotions led Pei to ask this hurtful question.
"In this era... no one can control their own destiny. I am, Hidehiko is, and... are you not?"
His and Hidehiko's fates were both in that person's hands, just as Pei was a puppet manipulated by Toyotomi Hideyoshi.
"Ha..." He laughed self-deprecatingly. Azusa's words had indeed struck a chord with him.
"Pei..." Azusa suddenly called out.
"What's wrong?"
"Do you... still mean what you said?"
"What did you say?" Had he said anything to Azusa just now?
"You said... if I belonged only to you from now on, you would treat me very well..." He said what he had heard in his hazy state.
"I thought you had fainted..."
"If you don't want to, I'll just treat it as a dream..." Anyway, it wasn't like no one had ever made a promise to him, but no one had ever kept it.
Too many disappointments had made him long since given up all hope.
"Heh..." Not understanding Zi's thoughts, Pei gently lifted Zi up, afraid of hurting her, and embraced her in his thick, warm arms. Their bodies fit together incredibly well. "I swear, I will protect you with all my might. I want you to belong to me forever. At least... I will never again give you away like an object to anyone."
"Heh..." Zi smiled, amused by Pei's words.
Her beautiful smile once again attracted Pei's gaze.
Her body warmed from Pei's body heat, but her heart felt an unprecedented warmth from Pei's words, her whole being feeling warm and cozy. Satisfied, she rested her head against Pei's broad chest, listening to Pei's steady heartbeat. Now, Zi only felt a sense of peace.
Thump—thump—thump—
was that Pei's heartbeat? Or her own? Zi realized she couldn't tell anymore. The overlapping heartbeats seemed like fate, inseparable.
Even if… Pei was lying to him, he wouldn't blame Pei.
Really, because he was already content.
It's just that Pei forgot he had said: even if Zi didn't love him, it wouldn't matter…
&
&
& At midday, because of early spring, the weather was still slightly chilly; although there was sunshine, it didn't warm him at all.
But even so, Zi still came to the garden wearing only a thin shirt, closed his eyes, and relaxed, leaning his entire weight against a cherry tree.
The garden, deserted, was eerily quiet…
This… must be where he and Pei first met! Back then, everyone was so young and happy. He wasn't a male concubine yet, and Pei... wasn't the Crown Prince...
Hidehiko was so kind and gentle to him. He always said that once the Tokugawa clan conquered the world, he could rightfully possess him...
At first, he also looked forward to it, hoping that one day he wouldn't have to live this life worse than death anymore. Every time he was given away by that person, every time he was embraced by a strange man, he hoped it would be the last time. But alas... people eventually come to their senses. With
disappointment after disappointment, he had to recognize what "reality" meant...
Perhaps Hidehiko was sincere in saying these words to him, but he was tired and weary. Staring blankly into the distance, he unconsciously recalled what Pei had said to him that morning.
Pei had given him a promise that no one else had made. Perhaps Pei was sincere at this moment, but what about the future?
"I'm sorry... Pei... A heartless person... cannot love..."
"You must be Zi? You are indeed a great beauty. My brother's taste is truly excellent." A clear female voice rang out. Zi looked up and saw a tall, beautiful woman.
"Greetings, Your Highness..." Without panic or surprise, Zi simply looked at her calmly.
Princess Ningning was as beautiful as rumored, like a porcelain doll, but the woman before him possessed a confident yet assertive air, quite unlike the rumored frail and sickly figure.
"Hehe~! You... are very special!" Ningning chuckled lightly, pausing as if searching for the right adjective. "Very quiet, even inconspicuous. If one isn't paying attention, one might easily overlook your existence." Of course, that face is an exception. "
Is that so..." Zi responded indifferently, indicating his lack of interest.
"That's true. Such a quiet person easily inspires trust, and betrayal... is naturally much easier, isn't it?" Ningning chatted casually, even though her words were so startling.
"Perhaps..." A smile played on Zi's lips, and he understood something.
This woman was no ordinary person; she was certainly not a pampered princess.
"Let me give you a piece of advice," Ningning paused for a moment, then continued, "Nothing can be hidden from my brother, it's just a matter of whether he wants to know or not."
"You came here just to tell me this?" He had known this from the first moment he saw Pei; she didn't need to remind him.
"I'm just curious. I want to know what kind of person could move my cold-hearted brother's heart."
"You've seen it now..."
"Hmm... Has my brother ever told you why he was chosen as the Crown Prince?" Ningning suddenly changed the subject.
The response she received was a speechless shake of her head from Zi.
"Heh... He'll tell you someday. If you want to know, go ask Shad!" Brushing aside her wind-blown bangs, Ningning's eyes seemed to become misty when she spoke of [Shad].
"You like him?" He had seen that expression before, on Qianji's face.
"I love him... but he only has eyes for my brother, the Emperor. He's practically the only person in the world truly loyal to him." She spoke casually, but Zi knew Ningning must be heartbroken.
"He once said... that when his status was high enough to match mine, he would marry me in grand style. But this wait... has lasted five years..." A bitter smile appeared on Ningning's face.
"Is it alright to tell me all this?" A princess's twisted love with a commoner would be a laughingstock for the royal family.
"I told you, you're very trustworthy. If you deceive me, I'll accept it..." Ningning spoke as if it were none of her business.
It had been a long time since anyone could confide in her. Since she had willingly trusted him, she would naturally bear the consequences.
"You and Pei... are very similar..." Zi expressed her feeling.
"How so?"
"Daring... daring to take responsibility..." Although Pei was strong and Ningning was gentle, their essence was the same.
"Heh... This is the first time someone has said I look like him."
"It's just my feeling."
"It's easy talking to you, but I'm a little tired, I'll go back now..." With a wave, Ningning jogged towards her dormitory. After a few steps, she seemed to remember something and turned back to toss an unknown object to Zi.
Instinctively, Zi caught it and examined it closely. It was a white jade pendant, but the texture wasn't fine, unlike the luxury items found in the palace.
"Please tell Shad for me, I've never forgotten what he told me..." Ningning called out to Zi before turning and running away.
Was that so? Even with resentment, deep down, she still couldn't forget.
Watching the figure approaching in the distance, Zi couldn't help but laugh. He finally understood why Ningning had left in such a hurry.
Why think so much? Life is short, enjoy it while you can. The past can't be undone, and the future is too illusory. Grasp the present, that's what truly matters. As for the rest, worry about it tomorrow!
Pei reached out to Zi, and Zi obediently flew into Pei's arms, only to be kissed fiercely. Zi didn't struggle, responding boldly.
Pei kissed Zi as he lifted her up and gently placed her on the soft grass. He pulled off the silver hairpin Zi used to style her hair, causing a cascade of black hair to fall, reflecting the shimmering sunlight.
Pei was captivated, mesmerized by Zi's beauty.
He gently removed Zi's shirt, leaning down to whisper in her ear, "Is your body ready?"
Zi blushed at his explicit words, nodding softly in response to her embarrassment.
"Is...is it here?"
"I can't wait to get back to my room, don't worry! I'll be very gentle this time..." The rest of his words escaped Zi's lips.
In the tranquil afternoon, a passion was quietly spreading... 5 When the two returned to the Forbidden City after their passionate encounter in the garden, it was already evening.
Zi had exhausted herself in their lovemaking, so Pei tenderly carried her back to the palace.
This...this must be happiness! To be able to lean against her lover's chest, listening to his heartbeat, contentedly resting against Pei's broad chest, Zi thought to herself, a satisfied smile spreading across her face.
Unfortunately, this faint happiness didn't last long...
"Your Highness... His Majesty has sent people several times to urge you to come to the main palace to discuss important matters..." The maid who served Pei rushed forward to convey this message as soon as Pei returned.
Ha... His Majesty?! Could his incompetent father make any decisions? Why not be more straightforward and use his father's name?!
It seems... that person is still afraid of rumors and gossip...
"Hmph... When has that person ever needed my permission to do anything? If so, I really don't know when!" Pei sneered, but still put down Zi, whom he was holding horizontally in his arms, and said softly, "I'm sorry... I have to leave for a while..."
After saying that, ignoring the maid's presence, he lowered his head and gently kissed Zi's rosy lips.
But Zi did not respond to him, but just looked straight at Pei with her amber eyes, as if she could see into the depths of his heart.
"What's wrong, Zi?" Gently stroking Zi's cheek, for some reason, his intuition told him—Zi was very unhappy, extremely unhappy.
And he was the one who had upset Zi…
"Nothing…" Zi lowered his eyes, seemingly unconcerned.
But he didn't know that his eyes had betrayed his thoughts…
"Zi, look at me!!" Forcibly lifting Zi's beautifully shaped chin, Pei forced him to look at him directly. "Why don't you tell me what's on your mind? Am I not trustworthy?" "
No, you're overthinking it, Your Highness…"
"Don't call me that!!" The word "Your Highness" made Pei's eyes even colder, and his tone even more stern. In that instant, Zi had the illusion of being in a frozen wasteland.
Sometimes cold…sometimes gentle…what kind of man was Pei?
Perhaps this kind of person…wouldn't be content to be a puppet for life…Zi thought to himself, but his wandering thoughts only fueled the still-burning anger of the man before him.
"What are you thinking about again?! Why do you always think alone, never letting anyone know what you're thinking?!" Pei shouted, seemingly unable to bear it any longer.
"Zi just thinks there's no need to say these things and trouble Your Highness..." Zi forced herself to speak in a cold and distant tone, using respectful language, even though these words deeply wounded his heart.
"I told you not to call me that!!" Anger made him lose his mind, and he shoved Zi to the ground. Although a trace of regret flashed through his heart when he heard Zi's cry of pain, he still stubbornly turned and left, not looking at Zi again.
Unfortunately, Zi couldn't see the heartache overflowing in Pei's eyes after he turned away...
Ouch... It hurts so much!! Pei's shoving force seemed to have shown no mercy, and a cold touch came from below, as cold as Pei's gaze just now.
"Young Master Zi..." The maid beside him seemed startled. After all, Pei was always so composed; she hadn't expected him to have such an impulsive side.

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The Complete Story of the First and Second Parts of the Shogunate Romance

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