Sinful Love (Father-Daughter Relationship) - Part 1, Chapter 28

I returned home in a daze and sat listlessly in the living room. I wondered what might be happening downstairs, and what kind of explanation my father would give me when he came up. My mother, the woman who claimed to be my mother, didn't seem to have a very good relationship with my father. Suddenly, I realized who she resembled—me, the person I saw in the mirror every day.
What kind of intense hatred did my father have for her? Why was he the only one who raised me?
Why did my mother leave me?
Before I could find an answer, Dad came home. He came in quietly, as if deliberately trying to avoid me.
"Dad!" I called out to him. "Is she really my mother?"
"She's just a crazy woman. She only imagines you to be her because you look like her dead daughter."
"That's all?"
I suspect—that excuse is a bit lame.
"Don't you trust your father? I'm not so confused that I can't even recognize who my own daughter's mother is."
He smiled, but it seemed a little forced.
"Then what about my mother? Is she really dead?"
He flinched—I saw it clearly—then pulled me into his arms, rocking me gently as always, saying that unchanging question, "Can't I be alone?"
But you are ultimately just my father. Perhaps you can be indifferent to the people you sleep with, but I cannot live without my mother—especially after learning about his illicit feelings for me.
"Xiaoyin..." He gently kissed my forehead, "Don't think about that woman anymore. Even if she is your mother, she has never appeared in front of you all these years to fulfill her duties as a mother. Do you still want to acknowledge her?"
I bit my lip and remained silent. What my father said was something I couldn't understand.
I turned around and hugged him, saying, "I know. You've been the only one by my side since I was little. My mother and such are not important to me at all."
He smiled slightly when I said that.
I knew he was lying; he would give me that smile whenever he lied to me. I never told him I'd noticed, and it came in handy in this situation.
No one but the person who gave birth to me will ever know that I have a mole on my back.
Secretary Li refused to give me Cheng Cijie's contact address, presumably because of a warning from my father. But what in this world could stump me, Lin Yin? I ran to the bookstore and bought a large phone book, checking it meticulously. There were four people named Cheng Cijie. Excluding the two elderly people, only two families remained in my investigation. The first family that greeted me was a university student living alone—eliminated. That left only the last one.
The address indicated that she lived at No. 23 Beijing Road, a small and dilapidated street where many families lived. I knocked on the door according to the address in the phone book.
After a long while, a young woman's voice came from inside:
"We don't need sales pitches!"
I knocked on the door again, and finally, the person inside opened it, grumbling and cursing.
"I said no hard selling! We don't have any money... Who are you?"
She could tell I wasn't a persistent salesperson, so she softened her tone and asked.
"Excuse me, is this Ms. Cheng Cijie's home?"
I asked cautiously, while simultaneously peering through her body to get a clear view of the room—a dilapidated home with an air of decadence.
"Yes, who are you?"
She looked at me with a suspicious expression, then suddenly shouted:
"Could you be the daughter Mom was talking about, my sister?"
"ah?"
Am I older than her? But her outfit clearly exudes maturity; her light makeup and heavy makeup made me think she was already 26 or 27.
"Didn't she come looking for you? Otherwise, you wouldn't have come here."
She leaned against the door and smiled.
"Come in first."
She stepped aside, and I followed her inside. I didn't know if I should have come here, but I felt that this place held the authenticity I longed for.
"I'm sorry, the house is too messy and no one has come to clean it. Please bear with it."
She swept the floor with her foot and dragged out a crumpled cushion from under a pile of leftover food wrappers and bottles.
"My name is Lin Yin. May I ask your surname?"
I forced myself to sit down and asked.
"Cheng Ling. My mother contacted you, didn't she?"
I nodded.
She burst into laughter.
"She's really senile. She just happened to see you in a magazine, and she actually told me that you were her daughter and my sister, and then she actually went to Shengshi Group to see you. In the end, she was sent back in disgrace—she brought this trouble on herself."
"Well, that's why I came here, it's about Ms. Cheng saying I'm her daughter..."
"Ms. Cheng? What a nice title, but it doesn't suit her." She sat down opposite me, took out a cigarette and lit it casually before asking, "You don't mind, do you?"
I indicated that I was okay, and she continued:
"Don't believe what those menopausal old women say; who knows what's wrong with them? But knowing my mom's style, it's hard to say—her relationships with men are so complicated; she used to be a socialite. For example, my brother and I don't have the same father. You might even be my sister."
Does she have complicated relationships with men? Including Lin Rui?
I really didn't know what to say, so I just smiled and agreed, but I had a bad feeling. My premonitions are usually very accurate, but this time I hoped they wouldn't come true.
Just then, the door opened, and the woman who had appeared before me yesterday came in. She looked surprised when she saw me.
"Lin Yin?"
"Mom, you actually went to look for her. There should be a limit to being presumptuous."
Ignoring her daughter's sarcasm, she said to me:
"Are you here today to verify something? It seems Lin Rui really didn't tell you anything."
"All I want to know is the truth."
"The truth is, you are indeed my daughter. Ha! How did I let it slip? Anyway, that's how it is, so I'll tell you the truth—after you left yesterday, your father, that super-rich Mr. Lin Rui, gave me a check for 100,000 and told me to keep it a secret from you. Now you understand what's going on."
"My God! 100,000! That guy is really rich!"
Ling was shouting and yelling from the side.
I was stunned, feeling like God was playing a cruel joke on me.
"Am I really your daughter?"
She nodded.
"Then," I forced myself to calm down and asked, "why did you abandon me?"
"Abandon you?"
She repeated my words softly, then turned around and removed the hairpin from her hair. Her once tightly coiled black hair cascaded down like water. This woman certainly had the beauty to back it up; she must have been even more stunning in her youth.
Sure enough, she looked at herself in the mirror and smiled at me:
"I still have a pretty good figure—I was even more charming when I was younger. Even Lin Rui, who has his head on the top of his head, couldn't resist my charm."
She was lost in her past glory for a moment, then her gaze suddenly turned hateful.
“But after I got pregnant, he actually abandoned me! Even when I came to him with my big belly, he was as cold as ice—you know, back then I was a socialite in high society, but this scandal completely ruined me! I fell from the clouds to the mortal world, lost my former glory, and no one remembered me anymore. Time has passed, and I have fallen to this state!”
She gasped for breath, and after a long while, she calmed down and said to me, "I gave birth to you, but I am unable to raise you."
"So you're handing me over to Lin Rui?"
“He’s your father, so it’s only natural for him to raise you. Of course, I’m also surprised that he agreed to acknowledge you—he’d rather have a little girl than me.” She paused, then reached out and touched my cheek. “It seems he’s taking very good care of you—”
Only then did a glimmer of maternal light appear in her eyes, but it vanished in an instant.
"So what do you want to do now?"
“You are my daughter, of course I will raise you.”
She spoke hastily, as if she were trying to express her feelings.
“If I go with you, you have no reason to take the 100,000. On the contrary, you will have to pay him my child support.”
As soon as I said that, she immediately fell silent. It seems that money is still more important than me.
"But you must understand, I am your mother, and I truly love you."
I've only known this woman for a total of 30 minutes, but I already understand what kind of person she is. Can I trust someone who would abandon her own flesh and blood for her own happiness?
What I don't understand is my dad's thinking. Why does he hide my mother's existence and prevent me from acknowledging her?

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Sinful Love (Father-Daughter Relationship) - Part 1, Chapter 28

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