Sinful Love (Father-Daughter Relationship) - Part 1, Chapter 24

After Christmas, my dad's intense feelings for me disappeared, and he no longer asked me to come and sleep with him like before. Although we still hug and kiss, it's all lukewarm and distant; our relationship has become much weaker than it used to be.
He's deliberately creating distance between us—ever since the day I said those things to him.
I was caught off guard by this change. Did I do something wrong? Countless times I wanted to ask him, but the words wouldn't come out, and I swallowed them back down. How could I bring it up? Should I ask my father why he no longer holds his daughter to sleep? Now I realize that everything was already abnormal from the very beginning.
I never saw He Yu again. He started working day and night, and for the first time, he came home late, or even didn't come home at all. I waited in vain in the empty house, fell asleep with self-mockery, and woke up in loneliness. His kisses and hugs felt strange—I had to face reality; it was all my own doing.
My homeroom teacher handed me a letter containing a thin report card that determined my eligibility to participate in the semi-finals. He smiled happily and told me to work harder and win first prize, so that my name could be displayed in the principal's office for my younger schoolmates to admire.
I smiled inwardly, a sense of relief washing over me, as if a chapter of my life had come to an end. At that moment, I suddenly thought of Ray and decided to go find him. Before that, I called Zeng Cong to confirm their location. Ray was recording an album, in the same old recording studio. Zeng Cong warmly welcomed me, and I chatted with Ray before he came out.
"How have you been lately?"
"A lot has happened, some big, some small, but some things that you've been thinking about."
That's how I answered.
"It's alright, it'll be fine if it's Miss Lin."
I was given undue confidence by others, but I, as the person involved, wasn't particularly moved. Ray was happy to see me. Now we can maintain a very peaceful relationship. Sometimes I ask him why he would fall for someone like me who is actually quite willful. He says it was the first time he had met a girl who talked more than him on their first meeting, and who even hit him in the end, forcing him to go back and apologize to Zeng Cong.
I burst out laughing—saying that the past was too painful to recall—and then I laughed along with Zeng Cong, making the other staff members think we'd lost our minds.
"Can you still like me now?"
Ray asked very seriously.
I shook my head.
"It's liking, but not love; the initial fervor is gone."
He smiled helplessly.
"Would you admire me more if I hadn't found your watch, hadn't returned it, and hadn't met you?"
I nodded realistically.
"So it was all my fault after all," Ray said, shrugging. "Is this watch very important to you?"
He saw that I was still wearing it.
"It was a gift from my dad when I was 10 years old, and it's the style I like. So I've never wanted to change it."
"I know it's unusual; it must have been custom-made, right?"
I nodded.
"It seems your father loves you very much."
"Because he's my dad."
That's what I said. Yes, because I'm his daughter, who else would he love more than me?
"Where's your necklace?"
I was referring to the necklace on his chest—a metal rose.
"This—" He took it off and placed it in my hand, letting me examine it closely. Just like the first time I saw it, it still gave me a breathtaking sense of beauty.
"Black rose—what's the meaning behind it?"
"Rose represents love, but black evokes despair and subconscious temptation. Black roses represent forbidden love, sinful love, forbidden love, yet people often fall into it, intoxicated by its sweet, poppy-like allure."
"I didn't expect you to be so philosophical."
I said it jokingly, but deep down I felt a sense of agreement, as if I deeply resonated with it.
The more sinful something is, the more attractive it becomes; the more something is forbidden, the more it is practiced—do humans really enjoy being punished by God?
After returning from Ray's, I called Li Xin to tell her about the interview, and she asked me to treat her to a meal. Then I called my dad, and suddenly realized he wasn't the same person I used to be. Was it because of his one-sided indifference? My dad sounded very happy on the phone and told me to come to him; he wanted to take me out for a celebratory meal. When I arrived at my dad's office, I found He Yu was gone. My dad was organizing documents. He waved to me when he saw me come in and took a cake from his drawer.
Wow—it's my favorite honey cake!
I took one out and happily chewed on it.
I miss that taste so much!
"Consider this a pre-celebration; we'll go have a big meal later."
"Ahead of schedule? Oh right, I just called you not long ago, how come you're ready so quickly?"
If I remember correctly, there is only one shop that sells this kind of snack, and it is far away from here.
"I had people prepare this morning. I know that with Xiaoyin's ability, even the semi-finals won't be a problem."
No wonder he wasn't as happy as I had imagined.
As I was enjoying the delicious food, my dad suddenly asked, "Is it really that good?"
I nodded vigorously—this was my favorite thing when I was a child.
"You were like this when you were a child too."
Ah, I'm reminiscing about the past again—my dad remembers everything about my childhood very clearly, even if my memory as the person involved is flawed, he wouldn't be wrong. And he knows what I like, although he doesn't know when I've changed.
"When you cry, if I give you something you like to eat, you'll immediately stop crying and start laughing, even though there are still tears on your face."
"You're talking nonsense—how could I be so easily tempted by food? You must be making this up; you've had this kind of bad record before anyway."
After I finished speaking, I ate another piece of cake.
My dad laughed, pulled me to his side, and said, "You unfilial daughter, you didn't even ask if I wanted some. In your heart, your father doesn't even count as much as a piece of cake?"
Here, take it.
Anyway, there were plenty of other things, so I didn't care about losing just one piece. I knew Dad didn't really like sweets. I handed the box to him, but he pulled me to his side and made me sit on his lap. I swayed back and forth on his lap, not at all like a 17-year-old girl who always claimed to be all grown up. He just let me sway restlessly on him; after all, his leather chair was quite comfortable, and my weight was nothing.
"Didn't you want it?"
I offered him a piece, but he pulled my face down. I knew what he was going to do, and this time I was the one who first pressed my lips to his. I was actually quite happy, ever since he let me sit on his lap—because in a way, our physical intimacy symbolized the reconciliation of our relationship. I didn't want to be ignored by my dad.
"It tastes like honey..."
"Dad let go of my mouth and said, while staring at me."
"Xiaoyin, you rarely kiss me first."
I didn't speak, burying my head in his chest. I was scared, but I didn't know what I was scared of.
"Xiao Yin..."
His fingers caressed my back, conveying his warmth.
"You used to let me hold you like this when you were lonely, and you haven't changed that habit. Is it because I've been away from home a lot lately?"
I nodded, then added, "But I don't blame you, because this is what I promised you—to be a good girl when you're not home. So you don't need to worry about me; I'll get used to it."
As I said this, I felt my dad's body tremble slightly.
"Yes, you will have your own life, so how can I bind your wings and prevent you from flying away from me... Yin, you promised me you would love me, didn't you?"
I nodded. Dad, you love me so much, who else would I love if not you? But you should also know that what I give you is only familial love, not romantic love.
He let go of my hand and put me on the ground.
"Don't forget the two promises you made to me."
He said that.

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