"I Became the Matchmaker Between My Father and Wife" - Chapter 152, Heart-to-Heart Talk

With my mood improved, everything seemed much more pleasant. I walked down the street with my hands in my pockets, my mind clear, and soon found my way back to the company. Looking at the familiar street scenes and feeling the stillness of the night, my heart calmed down as well. Yes, that fortune teller was right. My father would leave one day, and Xiaoying would belong to me sooner or later. What was the point of arguing about gains and losses with an old man? Besides, after this incident, they would probably end their ambiguous relationship. After all, this whole family had suffered quite a bit.
Back in my office, I reached into my pocket, but a piece of paper pulled out with it. This puzzled me; I remembered only having my phone in my pocket, so how did a piece of paper suddenly appear? I picked it up; it was a yellowed, tattered piece of paper with four characters written in pencil on it: "Deeply Hidden, Unrevealed."
Isn't this piece of paper the fortune teller's? Perhaps he wrote this down while I was sitting next to him, deep in thought, and secretly slipped it into my pocket before leaving. What he said today was very philosophical, and it resonates with my current situation, though some of his words were vague and ambiguous, perhaps out of fear of revealing too many secrets. He didn't tell me what the future holds. Has Xiaoying repaid her father's kindness? Is she done repaying it now, or not? These are all unknowns. Oh well, since the knot in my heart has been untied, why dwell on it anymore?
Back in the office, feeling relaxed, I fell into a deep sleep. I'd been suffering from insomnia lately, and it had been a long time since I'd slept so soundly.
The next day, I went to work in a cheerful mood. My only worry was whether Xiaoying was pregnant, but I felt much better now. After hearing the fortune teller's words, even if she was pregnant, so what? Everything would go smoothly, so the pregnancy would be mine. For some reason, I believed the fortune teller's words completely. It was almost time to leave work when I suddenly received a call from Xiaoying. She said she wouldn't be home for dinner and wanted to eat out with me. I knew Xiaoying had something to say to me, although I didn't know what it was, but I could guess some of it. Wasn't this exactly what I wanted? After last night, I should try to mend things with Xiaoying; things couldn't continue like this.
That evening, we met at a Western restaurant and booked a private room, where I waited for Xiaoying. About half an hour later, Xiaoying arrived as promised. Since then, Xiaoying's face had become increasingly haggard, as if she were aging prematurely.
We ordered two standard Western dishes and two glasses of red wine. The food was simple, but that's typical of Western meals.
"Honey, do you remember the first time we came to this Western restaurant?" The food arrived, but neither of us touched it. We just looked at each other quietly, our expressions conveying a thousand unspoken words. Xiaoying rested her chin on her hands, gazing at me tenderly.
"Of course I remember. That was the first time we actually went on a date, and it was here that I first confessed my feelings to you. You could say this is where our relationship began." I don't know what expression I have right now, because I can't see my own face. Maybe there's memory, maybe there's nostalgia, maybe there's...
"You were so silly, honey. I remember you were so nervous you couldn't even speak properly, and you confessed your love to me haltingly. Although the roses you gave me weren't the most expensive, and the words you used weren't the most beautiful, it was the happiest and most touching moment for me." Xiaoying smiled on her tired face, but there was a hint of sadness in her smile.
"Yes, we talked about everything that night, and I was happiest at that time, especially when you accepted my advances." I looked around the familiar private room. The decoration and layout of the room had changed, but that familiar feeling lingered in my heart.
"It was from this private room that our happiness truly began. This place is filled with our first memories. But... but I don't know if our relationship will end because of this private room..." Xiaoying said with a smile, but her sad eyes were already filled with tears, which began to flow down her cheeks.
"Why do you say that? Do you want to leave me?" Hearing Xiaoying's words, I couldn't help but feel a little nervous. This was a feeling from the bottom of my heart, and it was my truest feeling. But at this moment, I should still keep my expression calm.
"No, I never thought of leaving you. From the moment we walked down the aisle, I decided to spend my life with you. No matter what storms we face, I'm willing to stay with you until we grow old. It's just that I feel you're going to leave me. I don't know what's wrong with you lately. I only feel the coldness in our relationship and your distance from me. I've been trying hard these past few days, but I'm so scared, scared that you're tired of me. Scared that you're going to leave me..."
Xiaoying finally broke down at this moment, breaking down in front of me. She supported her forehead with one hand, letting her hair fall down, and cried softly. It seemed that all the grievances I had caused her these past few days were about to be released at this moment.
I didn't answer Xiaoying immediately. Instead, I quietly watched her cry. I didn't know how to answer her. Should I leave her? To be honest, I had never truly considered giving up on our relationship.
"Xiaoying, you're overthinking it. Actually, you're not wrong. Everything is my fault. Sometimes I feel like I'm not a real man. I made mistakes, but I made others suffer. I have no responsibility and no courage. Instead, I vented my frustrations on others and ended up hurting everyone..." I could only reply to her with these coded words. I really couldn't find the right words without revealing the truth.
"Husband, please, tell me, okay? What happened? Even if you want me to die, I won't complain, but at least let me die knowing why, okay? Please..." Xiaoying suddenly grabbed my hand, her tear-streaked face looking at me resolutely. It seemed that her patience had reached its limit. She was eager to know the answer: had I discovered her affair with her father-in-law, or was there some other reason?
"Actually... Qi'an, I just feel so tired, for this family, for work. Work isn't going well, and there are always problems at home. Since my mother passed away, and then my father's accident, there have been constant setbacks at work, and in life too... I always thought I was a strong man, but there are times when I can't bear it anymore. Lately, I've been particularly troubled. Perhaps our life is already very happy, and my current melancholy doesn't quite match reality. I suspect I might have depression; I can't concentrate lately, and I'm just creating my own troubles..." After thinking for a long time, I poured out all my worries, except for what I heard that night, and I also expressed my true feelings. In the end, I still didn't have the courage to say what had been holding me back the most. If only I had the courage to burn my bridges.
Xiaoying listened quietly to me as I tried to find other reasons to cover up the matter and distract her. Torn between impulse and reason, after what happened last night, I ultimately chose reason. What I was thinking about now was how to protect this family. These words were my true feelings, but that wasn't the main point; they were, in a sense, a "white lie."
After hearing what I said, Xiaoying breathed a sigh of relief. Actually, what I feared most was that if I tormented her like this, she might do something foolish. If she did something stupid, I would be filled with endless regret, a regret I could never atone for. We talked for a long time, and then I remembered the bracelet, the one her father gave her. I realized Xiaoying hadn't worn it in a long time. And, I had been trying to tell Xiaoying the truth for a while, but I'd been delayed by other things and had forgotten about it.
"Also, Xiaoying, actually... actually, that bracelet wasn't a gift from me. It was actually bought for you by your father. He said... he said it was to thank you for your contributions to the family and for taking care of him when he was sick. I really, really forgot your birthday. I've always wanted to tell you, but... maybe saying it out loud will make me feel better." The fact that she couldn't reveal the real reason made her feel very uncomfortable, as if she needed to exhale. Perhaps revealing everything else on her mind would make her feel more at ease and less suppressed.
After listening to my long speech, Xiaoying fell silent. She seemed to be recalling something, recalling the events that had happened during this period, and my behavior during this time. She seemed to be verifying the truthfulness of my words.
"Thank you, honey, for telling me so much. Let's talk about the bracelet first. Don't worry about it. Actually, I knew about it a long time ago because I found the receipt. I was really angry at the time, but then I thought about it and how much you've sacrificed for this family. Haven't you noticed that I rarely wear that bracelet now? Although I really like it, it wasn't a gift from you. I love the necklace you gave me the most, not because it's expensive or because I like its design. I love it simply because it was a gift from you." Xiaoying rested her head on her arm and looked at me quietly.
Then it dawned on me that Xiaoying almost never wore that bracelet when she went out, except when she was at home. She only wore the necklace. Perhaps she wore the bracelet at home to show it to her father, so as not to disappoint him and to give him some comfort. Most of the time, the bracelet lay quietly in its box.
"Actually, you can always wear that bracelet. It's a gift from your elders, something like that." I lowered my head and took a sip of red wine, while shifting my gaze to the wine, not letting Xiaoying see my eyes. I was afraid that my eyes might reveal something.
"Let's not talk about the bracelet anymore, honey. I'll take you to see a therapist sometime, to give you some peace of mind. Or you could take a long vacation and we can go out and clear our heads. Last time we went to Guilin, we had to end our trip early because of my father's accident. Thinking about our happy times together, I really miss them."
"Let's skip the counseling; it's not that serious yet. As for the trip, we'll think about it later, at least after we're done with this busy period."
"Honey, from now on, let's be happy together. If I do anything wrong, just tell me, and I'll definitely correct it. For this family, I'm willing to do anything for you. I'm willing to share any burden with you. I just hope you'll never abandon me..."
"Let's not worry about what happened before. At least starting tonight, starting from this Western restaurant, starting from this private room, let's start over. Let's pretend it's our first meeting and start all over again, okay? All the troubles and unpleasantness are in the past—" Xiaoying lifted her head from her arm and looked at me intently, her eyes filled with a subtle pleading. If I didn't know the whole story, I might not have noticed. She was comforting me, and also comforting herself.
Everything that's happened is done, everything is set in stone. You can't turn back time, so what's the point of dwelling on it? If I want to continue living with Xiaoying and maintain this family, then my focus should be on the present and the future. Although I still feel some unhappiness, I hope time will heal all wounds, and the fortune teller said that starting today, everything will be alright…

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