A Mother's Account of Being Seduce

These days, every time I think about this, I feel a deep sense of guilt. I shouldn't have done that shameful thing behind my son's back. Although I was initially forced into it, and it wasn't my fault, I eventually succumbed to his constant harassment. I had held onto my emotional defenses for a long time, but I gave in and encouraged him. I'm filled with remorse now. I desperately want to end this relationship as soon as possible, but things have spiraled out of my control. I've sincerely talked to him several times, hoping he would let me go, but he refuses each time. In the end, he became impatient and threatened to tell my son everything if I refused again, and he would also put what he has online. What should I do? He's still a child. He should have his own love life, a girl he likes, and a career of his own in the future. He can't keep clinging to me forever! If one day my son finds out about this and puts those things online, how will I ever have the face to live in this world? I'm sure I'd rather die! Alas, one wrong step can lead to eternal regret. I've truly become senile; it's all my fault. My mistake was misjudging him, always seeing him as a sunny young man, failing to see the truly dark side of his heart. I'm 39 years old this year, seventeen years after graduating from university, and now a Chinese language lecturer at a university.

I originally had a happy family that others envied: my husband was a mid-level manager at a foreign company, and my son was an only child, 19 years old, a senior at a prestigious high school in the city. I was always an obedient daughter, listening to my parents. After graduating from university, I smoothly stayed on to work at the university. My husband was the son of my father's old comrade-in-arms. With the matchmaking of my father and his old comrade, we eventually got together, married, and had a child. We lived a simple, ordinary life, without experiencing anything earth-shattering, until eight years ago when my husband died in a traffic accident. Only then did I truly experience the first earth-shattering event in my life. Over the years, many men have pursued me, but for the sake of my son's healthy growth, I have never chosen to remarry.

Time flies, and now I'm nearing middle age, and I no longer have that kind of ambition. I'll just live like this for now. Maybe I'll consider it again after my son gets married, but at least for now, I don't have that plan.

My son has a high school classmate named Peng Gang (pseudonym), and they're very close. Since my son started junior high, Peng Gang would come to my house to play with him every weekend and holiday, sometimes even staying overnight.

He's half a year younger than my son, but a head taller, with handsome features, and is a member of my son's school's track and field team. They both love playing video games and basketball. I can tell my son really enjoys being with this friend; they're practically inseparable at school, always having endless things to talk about, and they get along very well in every way. After spending more time with him, I've found this boy to be quite likable. He's hardworking, has a sweet tongue, and is very hygienic. Perhaps because of his athletic background, he's very strong, with bronze muscles, and always exudes youthful energy.

I've heard about his family situation from my son. They're quite well-off, living in the best part of the city center. His father is a businessman. However, similar to my family, his mother passed away from illness when he was very young. His father is over fifty. He's the second child in his family, with an older sister who is a newspaper reporter. My son once mentioned that his father and sister don't get along well; they have conflicting personalities and are both quite assertive, so they often argue. As a result, my son rarely visits his family. I consider myself a rather mild-mannered woman and am not very strict with my son, so they have a lot of freedom at my house.

The story begins the summer before last. Those two kids were about to go to university. After returning from summer classes, my son invited him over to play, enjoying their last vacation before starting university.

Because he had stayed at my house during holidays for the past two years, I had always had a good impression of him. I was even more welcoming this time; we had plenty of food and dishes for him, and as long as they were honest and upright, I always supported them. Last summer, he stayed at my house for a whole month. During that month, something happened that still makes me blush and feel ashamed. It happened very suddenly, leaving me feeling embarrassed and helpless.

One Sunday afternoon, I came home from the supermarket and saw him sitting on the sofa in the living room. I asked him where his son was. He said his son had gone to school to play basketball with his classmates. I asked him why he didn't go with his son. He said it was too hot outside and he didn't want to go, preferring to stay home. I said it was getting cooler outside and suggested he go exercise. He said he felt a bit stuffy and didn't want to play. I asked if he had heatstroke and offered to go to the pharmacy downstairs to buy him some medicine. He stammered and said it wasn't necessary. I noticed he seemed a little uneasy, but I didn't pay much attention.

However, just as I put the groceries on the shoe rack and hadn't even changed into my slippers, he seemed to muster some courage, quickly walked up to me, and hugged me tightly, saying,

"Auntie, I love you..." Before I could react, he forcefully lifted me up and hoisted me onto his shoulders. "What are you doing? Put me down!" I was stunned by his sudden action and tried desperately to break free, but I couldn't. "I'm your best friend's mother, I've always treated you like my own child, how could you treat me like this!" I scolded him, but he remained unmoved, continuing to carry me towards my bedroom. After entering the bedroom and locking the door, he put me on the bed and pounced on me like a hungry wolf. He first removed the white bow hair clip from the back of my head, and my long hair instantly spread across the bed. Then he pressed down on my shoulders with both hands. "No..." Before I could finish speaking, he kissed me on the lips. Just as I was about to catch my breath after he finished kissing my lips, he started kissing my forehead, earlobe, jaw, and neck. At first, I struggled desperately, trying to push him away with my hands, my two high-heeled sandals kicking back and forth on the bed. At that moment, my mind went blank. I never imagined that this sunny boy was actually molesting me. "Auntie, if you don't want Zhong Zheng to see this, stop this futile struggle and stalling for time!" His sudden words pierced my heart, making me completely give up the idea of resistance... I lay helplessly on my bed in my bedroom, sweating profusely, forced to let him do as he pleased. Seeing that I no longer resisted, he began to unbutton my shirt one button at a time, taking off my white shirt. Then, he reached behind me and unhooked my pink bra, throwing my shirt and bra aside. My breasts were now exposed before his eyes. He grabbed them with both hands, occasionally twisting my nipples with his index fingers, which made me feel extremely ashamed! I turned my head to the side, unwilling to meet his gaze. After playing with my breasts, he unzipped my dark blue skirt and slowly pulled it down my legs. After removing my skirt, he also took off my white high-heeled sandals. At that moment, all I was wearing was pink panties and flesh-colored stockings that he hadn't taken off.

He got up, unbuckled his belt, first tied my hands behind my back, then quickly took off his own clothes, climbed onto my legs, and began to passionately lick my flesh-colored stockinged feet, sometimes smelling them, sometimes kissing them, sometimes putting them in his mouth. His actions puzzled me greatly; didn't he find it dirty? But at that moment, I had no mind to understand. My eyes were wet, and I stared at him blankly, only wanting it all to end as soon as possible! After he finished playing with me, the stockings on my feet were soaked. He came to me again and began suckling my breasts. He lifted my body from behind with his right hand, then reached between my legs with his left hand, rubbing my vagina through my stockings and panties. When his left hand touched my vagina, my body trembled slightly involuntarily. It was the first time in so many years since my husband passed away that a man had touched my genitals. Even through the stockings and panties, the physiological reaction was unavoidable. After rubbing for a while, he put his left hand inside my panties and began to probe my vagina with his ring finger. His mouth, which had been sucking on my breasts, would occasionally bite my nipples lightly, causing my breathing to become rapid. I gasped for breath, trying hard not to moan.

Gradually, my vagina began to moisten. He seemed to sense this, so he laid me back on the bed, placed a pillow under my disheveled hair, and then removed the flesh-colored pantyhose from my left leg, placing it on my right leg, and taking off my underwear. At this point, I was completely naked. I instinctively clenched my legs, but he forcefully opened them with both hands, arranging them into an "M" shape. He then buried his head between my legs and began licking my genitals. He licked my clitoris at times, and at other times inserted his tongue into my vagina. I unconsciously swayed my body from side to side, experiencing a slight pleasure that also made me incredibly uncomfortable! I bit my teeth, pursed my lips, and silently endured it. By the time his head left my genitals, I was drenched in sweat.

He knelt between my legs, lifted them up, and draped them over his shoulders. Then he grasped his penis and pressed it against my vaginal opening. I knew exactly what was about to happen, and I knew this moment was bound to come sooner or later, so I simply closed my eyes. His penis rubbed up and down against my vaginal opening. Suddenly! With a thrust, the head of his penis forced my labia apart and entered my vagina. "Ah!" I couldn't help but let out a groan. I felt his waist gradually increase in speed, his penis powerfully scraping against the walls of my vagina. He stopped thrusting, lowered my legs from his shoulders, and arranged them in a "V" shape. Then he grabbed my feet with both hands and continued thrusting into my lower body.

He increased his intensity, riding me wildly between my legs. With each thrust, I felt his glans slamming against my cervix. His thrusts became faster and faster; I knew he was about to ejaculate. "No...don't ejaculate inside!" I cried out, suppressing my physical urges, but he ignored me. With my

last ounce of strength, I pleaded with him, swaying my body, trying to prevent him from ejaculating inside me. But I was wrong. My screams and resistance were useless. He was a towering figure, over six feet tall and so muscular, while I was a frail woman weighing less than 100 pounds. How could I possibly match his strength? "Ugh... Ah!!!" With a slightly shouting groan, his body suddenly stopped moving, and then thick, hot semen shot from his glans into my uterus. After he slowly withdrew his penis, white fluid flowed from my vaginal opening... I wiped the white fluid from my vaginal opening with a tissue, grabbed my clothes, and quickly ran to the bathroom to shower. When I came out of the bathroom and changed my clothes, he was already dressed. He ran over and begged for my forgiveness, no longer the "little bully" who had just bullied me. He begged me not to kick him out. I was really angry and wanted to kick him out of the house immediately. But suddenly he knelt in front of me and said that he had fallen in love with me from the first moment he saw me two years ago. He said that he had thought about me day and night, and that he had never had a mother since he was a child, and that I was like a mother to him, giving him maternal love, which made him love me even more. Hearing his words, for some reason, touched my heart. Perhaps it was the maternal instinct unique to women that was awakened, and my anger subsided considerably. Thinking calmly, although he was tall and strong, he was still just a boy under 19! I forgave him and promised not to send him away. I told him I had always considered him my own child, and that today's events should be considered as if they never happened. I hoped he wouldn't do anything so disrespectful to hurt me again.

That night, recalling what had happened that afternoon, my feelings were very complicated and I was also afraid! To be honest, I was really angry at the time, but remembering what he said, I didn't blame him anymore. Thinking about it, it felt somewhat absurd. A boy under 19 had developed feelings for a woman nearing middle age like me, and had secretly loved me for two years. I didn't know whether I should be happy or mocking. Actually, it didn't matter anymore. I just felt this boy was too bold and too unrestrained, but my biggest worry was that my son would find out about this.

Actually, many things, once they happen the first time, will happen many more times, like a kind of inertia. Later, whenever our son wasn't home, he would try to take advantage of me. Of course, I had to keep my distance from him, so whenever our son wasn't home, I would avoid being home as much as possible. I thought that as time went by, he would stop trying to take advantage of me, so I stopped deliberately avoiding him when our son wasn't home. In fact, for many days afterward, he did restrain himself a lot and didn't try to take advantage of me again. But after a few days, he bullied me again. When our son wasn't home, he assaulted me again, but this time the method was different from the last time.

That day, my son went to participate in a school field trip early in the morning. He didn't like field trips, so he didn't go. After breakfast, I was watching TV and drinking tea in the living room while he was playing video games in my son's room. During this time, I went to the bathroom, and he took the opportunity to put a drug in my teacup, which I only found out later. After I returned to the living room from the bathroom, I continued to watch TV and drink tea, but not long after, I fainted on the sofa in the living room. At this time, he came out of my son's room and carried me, who had fainted on the sofa, to my bedroom bed. On my bedroom bed, he stripped me completely naked, leaving me only in flesh-colored stockings. Then, using a rope he had prepared beforehand, he tied my hands to the headboard and my feet to the footboard. When I woke up and saw this scene, I desperately twisted my body and struggled, but he used methods he had learned from somewhere to tease and play with my body in every way. Eventually, my body could not withstand such intense physical stimulation, and I gradually gave up resisting, only able to let him manipulate and ravage my body at will.

That day, he had sex with me three times. The first time, it didn't last long; I was tied to the bed, and I was completely resistant. The second time, it lasted a long time; I was still tied to the bed, but my resistance wasn't as strong, and the moment he ejaculated inside me gave me a long-awaited orgasm. The third time, he untied the ropes binding my hands and feet. He longed to have "real" sex with me. I understood what that meant. As a "reward" for giving me a long-awaited orgasm, I fully cooperated and made love to him, satisfying his desire for the pleasure of being "tamed" spiritually. In

the days that followed, I also half-heartedly fell in love with him. I don't know why I fell in love with him. He had so brutally raped me and so shamelessly humiliated me. Besides, he was younger than my son! Perhaps I am, after all, a woman. Even though I was 37 years old two years ago, deep down I still longed to be loved and cherished, even if that person was just a boy under 19. But after each intimate moment, I always felt uneasy. I didn't know what was wrong; my heart was always conflicted. I lived in constant anxiety, both hoping they would start school soon because I was afraid my son would discover our relationship, and also hoping they would start school later because I had developed a special infatuation with him.

Finally, at the end of August two years ago, my son and he officially became graduating junior high students. Due to school regulations, graduating junior high students had to live on campus, so my son would only come home during holidays. A month, a time that wasn't short but not long, had come to an end, but my mind was filled with all sorts of chaotic thoughts. Many times, I would unconsciously think about the time I spent with him, and thinking about it too much would even make me feel secretly sad. Over the past eight years, I've rejected many men, but I don't know why I haven't been as resistant to him. Perhaps from the very beginning, I harbored some romantic feelings for him, though I was unaware of it. Maybe it was out of sympathy for his lack of maternal love growing up. Anyway, there's no easy reason for this. The ridiculous thing was yet to come. A month later, I started experiencing frequent nausea and vomiting. A hospital checkup revealed I was pregnant—I was carrying his child! This wasn't surprising, as although I was 37 at the time, I hadn't undergone tubal ligation. The pregnancy was unexpected but also somewhat understandable, given that he never used condoms and always ejaculated directly into my uterus. After several nights of internal struggle, and with no other choice, I secretly went to a private clinic for an abortion.

Last year, before the Spring Festival, we had a 10-day winter vacation. He went home for 3 days and then came to my house for a week. This time, my son was with him the whole time, and he didn't have a chance to touch me. The day before he and my son went back to school, my son said he was going to visit his maternal grandfather and wouldn't be home for dinner. Only then did he have the opportunity to enter my bedroom and be intimate with me again. Before, I had always refused to give him oral sex because I inherently believed that giving oral sex to a boy under 19 was a very humiliating thing. But that day, after his repeated pleas, I finally put aside my "elderly" pride and gave him oral sex for the first time. He took off his jeans and underwear, stood on the bed with his legs slightly apart, and I knelt on the bed in front of him, my mouth slightly open. He aimed his penis at my mouth with his right hand and slowly inserted it. I began to give him oral sex. At first, he just stroked my hair with both hands, but later he held my head with both hands and began thrusting in and out of my mouth until finally, he ejaculated his thick semen into my mouth. To be honest, I did that because I missed him so much. It was then that I realized I was becoming increasingly absurd. I had actually stooped to the point of willingly giving oral sex to a 19-year-old boy I could be his mother, but I didn't know why I had become like this! On the day of the Lunar New Year, he called to wish me a happy new year, in a very polite way. My son had no idea about the relationship between him and me.

Last summer, he and my son both graduated from high school. My son was admitted to a key municipal university, while he scored slightly lower than my son, but thanks to the bonus points for being a sports student, he was also admitted to a key provincial university. Two months into university, my son started dating a junior. She's two years older than him, and he showed me pictures. She's quite pretty and has a sweet demeanor. Both are student council members. My son told me he fell for her at first sight and confessed his feelings immediately. Initially, the girl wasn't planning on dating at this age, given she's a junior and he's younger than her, but he didn't give up and pursued her for almost two months before finally winning her over. While I don't fully support my son's early romance, I don't oppose it either, as long as it doesn't affect his studies. The only thing I don't understand is why boys these days seem to prefer older women. My son said his boyfriend, Peng Gang, hasn't dated yet because he's picky and doesn't find anyone attractive at his new school. Since they're not in the same school anymore, their contact isn't as frequent as before, but they still keep in touch.

During that time, although I missed him a lot, I gradually calmed down and returned to rational thinking. I thought about it for a long time and realized I shouldn't continue this relationship with him. It was for his own good, for my own good, and for my son's good. At the end of last year, he suddenly came to see me. He called me at night and wanted me to come to his hotel, but I didn't go. Instead, I asked him to meet me at a coffee shop.

That night, I told him what I was thinking. I told him that our relationship had always been flawed, and I kindly advised him to forget me as soon as possible. I said he was grown up and should find a girlfriend of similar age to marry and have children in the future, things I couldn't give him. I told him our relationship should end, but he wouldn't listen at all. He said he didn't want any girlfriend; he just wanted me to be his woman. After that, I sincerely talked to him several more times, but each time the result was the same: he just wouldn't agree to end our relationship. Later, he became impatient and even threatened to tell my son the whole truth if I tried to persuade him to end our relationship. Hearing this, I had no choice but to stop talking to him about it for the time being.

At the beginning of this year, he convinced his father to rent an apartment near his high school, citing the distance from home. He rented near the school so it would be convenient for us to meet. From then until now, for more than six months, he has called me to his rented apartment every weekend. His goal, of course, is obvious: to have sex with me. Each time, he rides me like a wild beast, showing no mercy. Gradually, I feel he has changed, becoming someone I no longer recognize! Gradually, it seemed to become clear to me that he never loved me at all; from the very beginning, he was simply lusting after my body… Two months ago, one weekend, he called me to his rented apartment as usual. But when I arrived, I found that he wasn't alone. Besides him, there were four teenagers around his age, all of them looking like hooligans, the kind of thugs you'd find out about. To my shock, he actually wanted me to have sex with those four thugs! Of course, I refused. I got up and ran outside, trying to escape, but before I even reached the door, the four thugs grabbed me. They picked me up, threw me onto the bed in the bedroom, and pinned me down, beginning their humiliation. How could a weak woman like me possibly resist? All I could do was silently accept this reality. And he just watched, completely ignoring my helpless state. Not only did he ignore me, he even took out his phone and filmed it. At that moment, I finally saw the darkest side of his heart! It's just a pity that it was all too late!

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A Mother's Account of Being Seduce

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