Oedipus complex

When I was little, my dad worked away from home and rarely came back. It was just my mom and me at home. Back

then, women in the countryside married and had children very young.

I never really noticed how beautiful my mom was. One time, while playing with my friends, a kid named Wang An suddenly said to everyone, "Zhang Sicheng's mom is so beautiful."

Then the other kids joined in, chattering about whose mom was pretty, had a big butt, big breasts, or which woman in the village was pretty.

I didn't understand why Wang An suddenly mentioned my mom, but my vanity was greatly satisfied.

When I got home, I happily told my mom about it. She just smiled, patted my head, and didn't say anything before going to cook for me.

That was the first time I realized how beautiful my mom's hips looked when she walked.

When I was little, my dad wasn't home, and I was afraid of the dark, so I slept in the same room as my mom. She never shied away from changing clothes in front of me.

I often saw her changing her underwear in the room, taking it off right in front of me. I got used to it and didn't think much of it.

At night, I especially liked to snuggle into her arms while we slept, and she would hold my head and press it against her chest.

My mother was a very clean person; she bathed every day with soap, and her body always smelled wonderful afterward, unlike the other women in the village.

Because I was young, my mother would always bathe me beside me. I was quite mischievous then, and I would often scoop up bathwater and splash it on her, but only a little at a time. If I splashed too much and wet her clothes, she would get angry. During bath

time, my mother would always make a point of cleaning my penis. I didn't understand anything about sex then; I just felt that my mother's hands felt very comfortable and gentle on my penis, and I always looked forward to her cleaning it during bath time.

This continued until around fifth or sixth grade. One day, my deskmate, a boy named Li Jun, suddenly asked me mysteriously if I wanted to see something interesting. I nodded, and he said he'd show it to me after school.

Being a child, I was easily lured by his mysterious promise, and I barely paid attention in class all morning, just waiting for school to end.

Finally, school was over, and I asked Li Jun if I could see it. He smiled mysteriously, pulled me towards the school gate, and walked quite a distance until we reached a corner in an alley. Then he unzipped his backpack and took the thing out.

As soon as he pulled it out, I saw it was just a book, wrapped tightly in a pre-cut book cover; I couldn't even see the title.

I was a little annoyed and said, "You're showing me this? I thought you were talking about something amazing."

Kids love to play, and I was no exception. I was usually restless in class, and asking me to read a book made me wonder if Li Jun had something wrong with his head.

Li Jun wasn't in a hurry at all. He calmly told me, "Open it and take a look first, then we'll talk."

I thought, since I'm already here, there's no harm in taking a look, so I took the oiled paper book from him and opened it. Li Jun, on the other hand, looked around nervously, as if someone was about to discover his secret.

After flipping through a few pages, I was immediately drawn to the contents of the book. It turned out to be a pornographic storybook.

Children in rural areas tend to be more sexually precocious. Even at a young age, they learn about things like "fucking" and "breasts" from the swear words adults use.

Just a few months ago, I even went with some kids I grew up with in the village to peep at the village women bathing.

Back then, it was common for children to form sworn brotherhoods, which they learned from some of the older boys in the village who didn't do anything productive or study.

Among our group of friends, there was this one big brother figure. He and three of us had become sworn brothers. One day, he suddenly asked us if we wanted to see what a woman's body looked like.

We all immediately nodded like chickens pecking at rice. He imitated the bosses on TV, waving his hand to make us follow him.

We arrived at the back of a house, and he told us that someone would be taking a bath soon, and we could see them from there, pointing to the glass above.

We then realized that a piece of glass in that window was broken, but it was quite high up, about twice our height, so we couldn't see it even on tiptoe.

He said, "You guys are so stupid! Why don't you stand on each other's shoulders to see?"

We all thought it was a good idea, and later, for safety, we stood on each other's shoulders, one foot each, to distribute the weight.

Not long after, we heard sounds coming from inside. My older brother made a shushing gesture, and we all obediently kept quiet. After a while, we heard the sound of water, and we knew that the woman inside had started taking a bath.

Because I was the thinnest one there, we had decided that I would go up first to see if it was okay, and then we would go up one by one.

So, according to the original plan, the other two stronger friends squatted on the ground, and my older brother and the other friend helped me up by placing me on their shoulders. Then, they each held my feet and slowly stood up, leaning me against the glass.

Surprisingly, my height plus the height of the two friends below me was just enough to reach the broken glass. It must have been fate.

I stared wide-eyed into the room, and there was a pale woman sitting in the bathtub in front of me, using a long-handled ladle to scoop bathwater and pour it over herself.

Since I grew up, my mother seems to have become more conscious of her words and actions in front of me. She no longer changes clothes without restraint in front of me, and even when I take a bath, she only wipes my back; I have to wash the rest of my body myself.

Because the more unattainable something is, the more I desire it, and besides, at this age I understand many things I didn't before, but it's too late; I can't see them even if I want to.

So now, being able to see a woman's mysterious body again, I don't know how excited I am.

However, because the bathing area is covered by curtains, the room is very dark, and even if I get very close

, I can't see very clearly. There's also glass in front, so I don't dare to put my head directly in. I just kept blinking and looking. My friends below, having stood for too long, couldn't take it anymore and asked if I was done looking and if it was time to switch. I don't know if they were talking too loudly or if they heard me talking through the glass.

Suddenly, the woman bathing inside looked in my direction and started screaming. I was so scared that I quickly made them put me down, and then they ran away.

Afterwards, they complained that I looked at it for too long, saying they hadn't seen anything. I lied and said I hadn't seen anything either, that it was pitch black inside and I couldn't see anything. The truth was probably a little better.

This was probably one of my earliest sexual awakenings, so when I saw the erotic storybook Li Jun gave me, I was incredibly excited. By fifth or sixth grade, I could recognize most of the words, so even though the sexual descriptions were just text, I still blushed terribly.

I hadn't even read a few pages, just getting really excited, when Li Jun snatched the book away and put it in his bag.

"I haven't finished reading it yet."

"Isn't it good? I told you it's a good thing, do you want to read it?"

"Let me think about it."

"Then I can lend it to you, but you'll have to pay."

I said a little worriedly, "How much?"

Li Jun thought for a moment and said, "Just fifty cents, I'll lend it to you for three days."

Money was different back then. Adults' monthly salary might only be a few dozen or a hundred yuan, so fifty cents was a considerable sum for me.

In the end, I negotiated with him to see if I could give him one cent a day, and I could return it to him whenever I finished reading it. That way, I could read it faster and save some money. He thought about it and agreed.

I immediately took out the two cents of pocket money my mother had given me for today from my pocket and gave one to Li Jun. Who knew he would ask for an extra cent, saying it was a deposit. If the book was discovered and confiscated by my mother, or if it was damaged, I would have to pay for it. I gritted my teeth and gave it to him. I

carefully put the yellow storybook into my schoolbag and hurried home. Walking on the street, I felt like everyone was watching me, as if they had already discovered my secret. Only when I grew up did I realize how timid I was back then.

When I got home, my mom was already back, waiting for me to eat. Because of what happened with Li Jun, she was home a little later than usual. She casually asked me why I was so late, and I was startled. I stammered that I had to do chores today, and she didn't ask anything more.

Around noon, my mom had to go to work at the factory. Since it was still early before I went to school, she reminded me not to oversleep and to remember to go to school early before leaving.

When I heard her close the door, my heart felt like it was going to jump out of my chest, pounding wildly. I felt a strange, exciting feeling.

I quickly ran out of my room, opened the door to confirm that my mom was really gone, then quickly ran back to my room, closed the door, and began my erotic reading journey.

It's really strange. Usually, when I'm asked to read a Chinese textbook, I find it incredibly boring after just a few lines and can't concentrate. But now, looking at these erotic short stories is like seeing something delicious; my eyes don't even blink.

It was around this time that I first learned that a woman's genitals are called a "pussy" or a "slutty pussy," and that a man's penis is called a "penis."

I had heard people say before that when a man and woman give birth, the man inserts his penis into the woman's vagina, but I didn't know the specifics. I only learned from the book that it involves insertion.

The storybook was made up of many short stories of various kinds, including one about incest between mother and son. When I saw the title "Me and My Big-Breasted Mom," I felt my whole body heat up, and my penis even got a little erect.

So I read it with great interest. Although the story wasn't very detailed or elaborate, it seemed to involve massaging the mother's body, touching her body, and the mother becoming aroused and letting her son have sex with her.

But for me, who hadn't seen much of the world at the time, it was incredibly stimulating, especially the description of the mother's figure in the book—full breasts and a plump bottom, her buttocks swaying—it was exactly like my mother's.

Unconsciously, I began to see the woman in the book as my mother. Even after finishing the story, I was still unsatisfied, flipping through the book searching for more stories of incest between mother and son. Unfortunately, the entire book only contained three or four such stories.

When I tried to read other types of stories, I couldn't get into them; the thrill of reading about incestuous mother-son relationships was gone. I ended up repeatedly reading those few stories about mothers and sons, completely oblivious to the fact that it was time for school.

By the time I realized I had to go to school, at least ten minutes of class had already started. I ran to the classroom, and thankfully, I'm usually well-behaved in class, so the teacher only said a few words to me and let me sit down.

As soon as I sat down, Li Jun grinned mischievously and whispered to me, "How was it? Pretty good, right?"

"It's pretty good. I'll return it to you after school."

Li Jun was startled and exclaimed in surprise, "Really? You finished it so quickly?"

I didn't want to tell him that I had only read the incest stories I liked and hadn't read the others, so I told him, "I only read a few good ones. The others weren't very interesting, so I didn't read them."

He started to ponder, probably thinking about how to make money off me again. He never expected that I would finish it in just one day.

After a while, he said, "Do you want to read anything else?"

"Anything else? Do you have any other books?" "

I have plenty of books. Do I have anything else that's even more interesting?"

"What is it?"

My curiosity was piqued once again.

"You know about DVDs, right?"

Of course I knew about DVDs. In those days, only a few wealthy families could afford them, and I had heard from the beginning that they were used to watch pornographic discs.

But I couldn't possibly get my hands on either DVDs or pornographic discs, so I just heard about them and that was that.

Now, hearing Li Jun suddenly mention this stuff brought back those memories. I hadn't expected him to be able to get his hands on such things, but I remembered his family probably wasn't very wealthy.

So I asked him, "Do you have DVDs at home?"

He said, "I don't, but I know where I can find these things, and I can watch them on discs. How about it, do you want to watch them?"

Having experienced paying to borrow books at noon, I knew he wasn't going to let me watch them for free, so I asked him, "Does it cost money?"

He nodded.

I said, "How much?"

He held up three fingers, and I hesitated when I thought about how much it was—three cents!

He probably noticed my hesitation and said, "Actually, you can use something else instead."

I asked him curiously, "What is it?"

He then started acting mysterious and told me he'd tell me after school when no one was around.

Then he talked to me a bit about the stories in the book, asking which ones I had read. Afraid he'd find out my secret, I just casually mentioned a few and stopped talking.

It wasn't until after school that afternoon, and this time we didn't go to any remote places—just somewhere not far from the school—that we hid and started discussing substitutes.

"Actually, you can use your mother's things instead of money."

"My mother's things?"

Hearing him say that, I was a little confused. What could my mother possibly use as a substitute? And if something was missing, she would definitely find out. I wouldn't dare do that.

"Anything, underwear, bras, or socks will do."

When Li Jun mentioned these women's intimate items, I looked at him with a strange expression.

He explained, "These aren't what I want. The person with the DVDs specifically requested them, and he said that if the items are good, he'll not only not charge me, he'll even pay me."

At first, I thought I misheard—not only free, but he'd even pay me!

Li Jun probably guessed what I was thinking, and then said, "If he's satisfied, one or two pieces are no problem."

One or two pieces of gold was a considerable sum back then, and I was tempted, but still hesitant.

At that moment, Li Jun, who was beside me, started encouraging me, saying, "If you only take one piece, your mom won't find out."

I thought about it and said I needed to go back and think about it, so I went back.

Even after my mom came home to cook and I took a shower and went to bed, I was still unsettled.

Even in sixth grade, I still slept in the same room as my mom, but she no longer changed clothes in front of me without any hesitation; she would always tell me to leave.

When she came in to sleep after her shower, I was still thinking about what Li Jun had said. I couldn't fall asleep even after turning off the light, so I sat up to get out of bed.

"What's wrong?"

my mom asked when she saw me suddenly sit up.

"I'm going to the bathroom."

"Why didn't you go earlier? You're always like this, never preparing beforehand. Turn on the light so you don't fall."

I did as my mom instructed, turned on the light, and went out.

Actually, my real purpose wasn't to go to the bathroom, but to see if my mom had taken off any clothes after her shower. And I actually found some!

A pair of red cotton panties, flesh-colored stockings, and a purple bra. They felt warm in my hands, and I excitedly brought the bra to my nose and inhaled deeply; it had a faint fragrance.

Because of the erotic storybook I'd read at noon, I started thinking about the content, and my penis started to get a little erect again.

I wanted to smell it a little longer, but then my mom suddenly called me. Seeing that I hadn't finished, I quickly put the panties and bra away and went back to bed.

As soon as I got into bed, my mom told me to lie down and go to sleep, that I had to go to school the next day. But I was still aroused by the storybook and the bra; I couldn't sleep. My mind was filled with the content of the book and what my mom looked like wearing those bras. I didn't fall asleep until the early hours of the morning.

After much deliberation, I decided that stealing my mom's underwear to sell was far too dangerous. Not only would I easily be discovered, but I'd be in big trouble if that kid Li Jun used it to blackmail me later. Back

then, it was common for kids to gossip about whose mom had been slept with by so-and-so, or that whose mom was a slut. I didn't want my mom being talked about.

After I refused Li Jun's request, his attitude towards me became much colder, and I was glad I did.

Because later, a secret circulated among us boys—well, it wasn't really a secret since everyone already knew, but it was only among us boys.

It was said that a boy in our class named Tian Xingteng had stolen his mom's underwear and been caught. Tian Xingteng didn't usually hang out with us; he was a bit dull and didn't seem like the type to do something like that.

So when the rumor first came out, no one else believed it, but I was the only one who knew it might be true. Around that time, I noticed Li Jun and Tian Xingteng were getting quite close, and I wondered how two people with such different personalities could get together.

Later, Li Jun stopped coming to school, supposedly dropping out, which further confirmed my suspicions. After that, it was said that Li Jun's family moved, and Tian Xingteng disappeared. Everyone just guessed that the rumors about Tian Xingteng might be true, which was why he left. They couldn't possibly guess why Li Jun had moved out of nowhere.

I was terrified by their situation, afraid that Li Jun might expose me too. So, during those days when the rumors about them were rampant, I was worried about hearing my name mentioned in other people's conversations and also worried that Li Jun would come looking for me. My mental state was terrible.

So much so that when my mom saw how listless I was, she thought I was sick and wanted to take me to the doctor. At the hospital, the doctor asked me a few questions and said that my sleep problems were due to excessive stress. Because I was young, the doctor was hesitant to prescribe sleeping pills, so he prescribed some medication to help me sleep.

My mom was quite puzzled. I wasn't a particularly diligent student, so why would I be so stressed at my age? She asked me why, and I couldn't think of any other excuse, so I just blurted out that it was because final exams were coming up. My mom was very happy to hear this and patted my head, saying I was growing up and becoming sensible.

That evening, my mom took out the medicine the doctor had prescribed and watched me take it, because she knew I didn't like taking medicine and was afraid of the bitterness.

When it was time for bed, she left the light on and watched me fall asleep first—a tenderness from my mother that I hadn't experienced in a long time since I grew up.

I don't know when I fell asleep, but I vaguely felt dizzy, and then I seemed to see a bright light, but it was very blurry. I rubbed my eyes desperately, but I still couldn't see clearly.

Then we came to a house with a large, rustic wooden tub inside, the kind the villagers usually use to hold rice. But now, a woman was sitting inside, completely naked.

My vision was blurry; I could only make out that she wasn't dressed. When I got to certain parts, my eyes became misty. Looking at her face, I could clearly see it was my mother, smiling brightly at me.

It was a smile I'd never seen on her before. Suddenly, she splashed water from the tub at me, but I felt nothing. She smiled and beckoned to me, and I went over.

Somehow, her clothes disappeared. She told me to sit down and bathe with her. I did as she instructed and sat in the tub. She washed herself, while my eyes were fixed on her chest. My mother saw me and just smiled gently at me. I don't know where I got the courage, but I reached out and tried to grab her.

Then, I woke up. The first thing I did was wake up with my mind completely clear, my back still sweating profusely, alternating between hot and cold. I remembered

that beautiful dream, both real and unreal, very clearly. The more I recalled the dream, the harder it was to distinguish between reality and illusion. I wonder if anyone else has ever had this feeling—knowing you were dreaming, but thinking back on it feels incredibly real, almost like it was real.

However, before I could even consider whether it was Zhuangzi dreaming of a butterfly or the butterfly transforming into Zhuangzi, I realized that a hand above me was grasping something soft and spherical. The texture was unlike anything I had ever felt before; it felt incredibly comfortable.

I immediately realized that this object belonged to my mother, because she was sleeping right next to me. My brain instantly connected this to what I had touched.

I had read descriptions of breasts in novels before, describing them as incredibly soft and comfortable to touch. I had only ever glimpsed them before when peeking at others showering or when my mother changed clothes as a child.

My breathing quickened instantly. I knew this was wrong, and I'd be in deep trouble if my mother found out. But I kept telling myself, "Just a little longer, just a little longer, I'll let go right away."

When I first realized my hand was touching my mother's breast, I was terrified; my hand stiffened, and I didn't dare move, just leaving it there. After a while, seeing that my mother wasn't making any move, a wicked voice kept hypnotizing me: "Just touch it, try it, it feels good, what's there to be afraid of?"

I increased the pressure slightly, and that little pressure was enough for me to feel the allure and elasticity of a woman's breast.

This was like an addiction; once you got it, you'd want more. My hands started gently squeezing my mother's breasts, all the while watching her reaction, afraid she'd wake up. It was probably the most focused I'd ever been in my life.

After playing like this for a while, a stronger wicked thought arose. The gentle touch couldn't extinguish the fire burning within me. Perhaps I was already blinded by desire, disregarding all consequences, only wanting greater pleasure. I started squeezing my mother's breasts harder, feeling like I was about to burst them.

Later events confirmed my suspicions. Just that one squeeze, and my mother, who had been fast asleep, suddenly let out a faint moan. Although it was very quiet, I was paying close attention to her, and it was the quiet of the night, so it actually sounded quite loud.

At the time, I thought I had hurt her, that it was a painful cry, but now I realize it was hard to tell if the groan was from discomfort or pleasure. I was just too scared to move, remaining frozen in that position, my hand covering my mother's breast, my eyes fixed on her back.

When I saw her body move slightly, I quickly closed my eyes, but didn't pull my hand away, and dared not move again. I don't understand how I had such good composure back then; even now, I probably couldn't react that quickly.

When my mother woke up, her breathing was different, which told me she was definitely awake, not just moved by chance.

After a few seconds with my eyes closed, my mother gently removed my hand from her breast and placed it softly beside me. Then I heard what sounded like clothes being pulled, probably her adjusting her clothes.

The night returned to silence once more. Just when I thought it was over and was relieved I hadn't been discovered, a hand lightly brushed across my penis.

I was startled, but I reacted quickly and immediately thought it was my mother, though I couldn't figure out what she was going to do.

The next second, my mother's fingers gently tapped my penis through my underwear. Because I had just touched my mother's breasts, my penis was still erect—or rather, not really erect, at least not the hard kind an adult has; it was just swollen and still relatively soft.

Perhaps startled by my erect penis, my mother suddenly stopped tapping it, and after a while, she started rubbing it with a few fingers.

Although she used very gentle pressure, I felt an indescribable comfort all over my body, even more so than when I touched her breasts.

Then, my mother seemed unsatisfied with just rubbing it with a few fingers, and she directly enveloped my penis with her entire palm. Her palm was warm, and because she probably took good care of it, there were no calluses. My penis felt incredibly comfortable in her hand.

Her movements were slow and gentle, her hand occasionally squeezing and tightening my penis. The feeling was like ascending to heaven; I still savor it to this day, but I've never experienced anything like it with my girlfriend or wife since.

After playing with it for a while, Mom released my penis, adjusted her body, and went back to sleep. I, still feeling the pleasure, drifted off to sleep as well.

When I woke up the next day, I found myself feeling exceptionally refreshed. I felt a little embarrassed when I saw Mom, but she showed no sign of anything amiss, making it impossible to imagine what she had done to me the night before.

A few days later, I finally confirmed with a classmate that Li Jun had left our village, and I felt a huge sense of relief.

Later nights, whenever I wanted to feel Mom's soft breasts again, my heart would pound. I always felt that if I did, she would immediately discover it, and I always wanted to wait until she was sound asleep before making my move.

But because I played wildly outside all day, I was always sleepy at night and would fall asleep on my own, so I never got my way again.

This continued until the summer after graduating from sixth grade. It felt like the happiest summer I'd ever had, because unlike now, we didn't have to choose schools. There was only one middle school in town, and all of us classmates were basically the same group after finishing elementary school, so there wasn't much difference.

My dad was coming home that summer. I was always so happy when he came back from working away from home, because he always brought me delicious food and fun things.

But this year, I didn't have as much anticipation for his return.

We had planned to fly kites together today, but because our leader, Dalin, had to help with chores at home, the rest of us lost interest and canceled the plan. I wandered around outside for a while and was just about to go home when…

Just then, I saw my mother pushing her bicycle along the road, with a man beside her. I recognized him; he was a colleague of hers from the factory, and I called him Uncle Chen.

They walked and laughed. When my father wasn't home, it was just my mother and me living together, and she would always try to avoid men who might bother her, afraid of being gossiped about in the village.

But Uncle Chen was an exception; I had seen him walking and talking with my mother several times.

Suddenly, I saw Uncle Chen's hand seem to touch my mother's waist. Because it was too far away, I wasn't sure if I saw it correctly. But then my mother seemed to glare at him before getting on her bicycle and riding away. He smiled at my mother's retreating figure and also got on his bicycle and rode towards his home.

When I got home, my mother was cooking, humming a little tune, looking particularly happy. I asked her when my father was coming back.

She smiled at me and said, "What? Missing your father? Wait a little longer, he'll be back in a few days."

I don't know why I asked her that question back then; I just really hoped my dad would come back at that time and drive away that Uncle Chen.

About a week later, my dad finally returned from outside, bringing back lots of delicious food and fun toys, just as I'd hoped. My mom scolded him a little, blaming him for wasting money, but my dad just smiled and didn't say anything.

During dinner, he specifically asked about my studies, and my mom truthfully reported that my grades were only so-so. My dad just said a few encouraging words, without any reproach, because in those days, finding a job mainly depended on connections.

That night, since there was only one room in the house, and my dad was back, I naturally couldn't sleep in the same bed as my mom anymore. So, we temporarily put together a small wooden plank and two long benches to make a makeshift bed for me.

Because of the sudden change in bed, I, who usually fall asleep very easily, actually had insomnia. Actually, I was also anticipating something.

After being exposed to those erotic storybooks, I began to understand the secrets between adults. I knew they always secretly did other things while sleeping, and my dad must have been working hard all night since he hadn't come home for so long.

Sure enough, not long after I pretended to be asleep, I heard my dad's voice.

"I think I'm asleep?"

"Go check."

My mom gestured for my dad to check if I was really asleep. Luckily, I was prepared. When my dad got out of bed and came to my side, he only saw me fast asleep.

"I've checked, I'm asleep."

Then I heard my dad get back into bed, and the bed creaked. Back then, our bed was one of those wooden plank beds, and even the slightest movement would make a creaking sound.

"Be quiet, don't turn around and wake Chengcheng."

"Don't worry, kids don't wake up easily."

My mom didn't say anything more after that.

Then I heard kissing sounds again. I was already prepared, so when I lay on my side, my face was facing my mom and dad.

At this moment, I secretly opened my eyes a little and squinted at the bed.

With the help of that little bit of moonlight, I could see more clearly that my dad was on top of my mom, passionately kissing her. They were covered by a thin sheet, which covered their lower bodies, while their upper bodies were naked.

It was the first time in so many years that I had seen my mom's breasts. Under the moonlight, they looked particularly white and round. Although they weren't particularly large, they were beautifully shaped. I only learned later that they were called "bamboo shoot breasts."

My dad kept my mom's tongue in his mouth, and one hand kept kneading her breasts. I had secretly tried it before, so I knew how comfortable it felt.

What's more, I was incredibly nervous at the time, and dared not use too much force. Now, seeing my dad shamelessly kneading and shaping her breasts in his hands, a surge of anger welled up inside me.

Even if I chased away Uncle Chen first, there was still my dad. Wouldn't I never be able to touch my mom's body again?

After a series of kisses, my dad released my mom's lips and his hand chuckled as he reached down and touched her. I don't know what he touched, but my mom was startled. Well, not exactly startled, but her voice sounded like she was in discomfort.

My dad's hand fiddled under the sheet for a long time before finally emerging. His fingers, glistening in the moonlight, seemed to have been coated with honey.

Then it dawned on me that this was what they called "vaginal fluid" when a woman is in pleasure, as described in books. So, my mom had been moaning comfortably, not in discomfort from my dad's actions.

He held his finger up to my mother's face as if to let her smell it, but my mother turned her head away in embarrassment.

"I've been away from home for so long, have you been missing me? You've gotten so wet in such a short time."

My mother didn't speak, but I could hear her rapid breathing. Seeing that my mother didn't answer, my father persisted, holding his finger, which was covered in her vaginal fluid, to my mother's nose. My mother angrily pushed it away.

"You rascal, you're playing tricks on me as soon as you get back. If you don't hurry up, you won't be able to get out of bed again."

At this moment, my father's gentleness vanished, and he suddenly became fierce.

"You'll find out whether you can get out or not in a moment. I'll make sure you can't get out of bed tomorrow."

After that, neither of them spoke. My father fiddled with the sheets for a while longer, and with a thrust of his hip, my mother and he both let out a low moan.

Then the wooden bed started creaking and groaning. My mom patted my dad, telling him to be quiet, probably to wake me. But I thought he was being too rough, and my mom couldn't take it anymore. She wouldn't listen and instead became even more aggressive.

My mom gritted her teeth and endured it, looking very tired, almost unable to speak.

Their movements were rather simple, just man on top, woman on bottom, without any fancy moves, not as varied as described in books.

They mechanically continued like this for about ten minutes. With my dad's final, violent thrust, he stopped, panting heavily, and lay on top of my mom.

After a while, he got up, took some tissues from the nearby cabinet, and wiped himself. After wiping herself a little, my mom suddenly looked in my direction, which startled me so much that I immediately closed my eyes, wondering if she had seen me.

Then I heard someone get up, put on their shoes, and come to my bedside, gently covering me with the blanket.

The scent of soap on her clothes told me my mom had gotten up. She left the room, and I heard running water outside; she must have gone to wash up. She didn't return for a while.

When she came back, my dad was already fast asleep, snoring. My mom stood by the bed, sighed softly, lost in thought, and finally lay down to sleep too. I, on the other hand, kept thinking about what they had just done, and it took me ages to fall asleep.

My dad had stayed home for about a month this time, but they hadn't secretly done anything like last night many times. My mom didn't seem particularly happy about my dad's return; she seemed indifferent. It wasn't until my dad left again to work that she showed some reluctance to see him go.

Some time after my dad left, I came home one day, and Uncle Chen, who worked at the same factory as my mom, was also there. He saw me and asked about my grades very kindly, but I already had a prejudice against him and didn't like him much, so I just exchanged a few words and went back to my room. He stayed a while longer and then left. After that, I never saw him come to my house again or come home from work with my mom. Then, in my second year of junior high, my dad said he'd made a lot of money, and our whole family moved to the county town. After that, we lost all contact.

When I got to the county town, I realized how big the outside world was; there were so many things I'd never seen before. However, in this new environment, I couldn't keep in touch with my old friends anymore, and I often became a bit withdrawn after school.

Fortunately, I met a new friend, my classmate. I think we became good friends because we were in similar circumstances. His name was Su Wen, a very delicate name, and he was also delicate-looking. His personality was just like his appearance—somewhat frail.

One day after school, I saw him being bullied by some students from other classes. I couldn't stand it and stepped in to help him. Kids in the countryside are usually quite mischievous, and fighting is commonplace. I easily chased those students away. That's how I truly got to know him. One of us was new to the county town and had few friends, while the other was timid and afraid to socialize. Two people in similar situations became friends.

Su Wen's family was relatively wealthy, which was evident in his clothing, demeanor, and upbringing. Before coming to the county town, I often heard people in the village say that city people were snobbish, only befriending the rich, and that the poor couldn't even get close to them. But after getting to know him, Su Wen wasn't like that at all. He genuinely considered me a good friend, inviting me to his house for the weekend after only two weeks of knowing each other. I was already bored to death in this place, so I readily agreed.

When I first arrived at Su Wen's house, it was very clean and tidy, seemingly regularly cleaned. He was the only one home when I arrived.

"Are you home alone?"

"Yes, my mom went to work."

I found this a bit odd. Why didn't he mention his father? I didn't see anyone else at home! But I've grown up eventually, and I know what I can and cannot ask others, so I kept those questions to myself.

Back then, the Famicom (Nintendo Entertainment System) was very popular, but firstly, these game consoles were too expensive; only wealthy families could afford them. Secondly, there was a saying that these consoles were like "spiritual heroin," addictive and detrimental to one's life. Therefore, many parents strictly forbade their children from touching them, let alone buying them. This outdated thinking still lingers with that generation of parents today.

Surprisingly, Su Wen's family had one. I had once played in a secretly run arcade and was immediately captivated by its unprecedented fun, but the pay-per-play model was far too expensive; after a few visits, my allowance was insufficient.

Su Wen and I played games until noon. Then Su Wen told me he was going to buy lunch and that he could play by himself while he went out. I played for a while longer, but after my character died, I felt tired and paused to rest. I also got up to use the restroom.

When I came out of the bathroom after putting on my pants, I glanced back at their balcony. There was a row of clothes hanging there drying, including what looked like women's clothes and underwear. I don't know why, but suddenly a little fire ignited inside me. When I thought about what I might do next, my mind went blank, and

I unconsciously walked towards the balcony. Those few steps made my heart pound. Looking at those black lace panties, I realized I'd never seen anything like them with my mother. Were they Su Wen's mother's panties? So sexy! That's what I was thinking.

Just as my hand was about to touch them, I heard the sound of keys turning on the door. I snapped back to reality and quickly went back into my room. Su Wen returned with lunch takeout.

"Why aren't you playing anymore?"

"Oh! I was a little tired, so I got up to walk around."

Su Wen didn't suspect my lie at all.

After lunch, I started to feel sleepy. I originally planned to rest for a while before getting up to play games, but before I knew it, I slept until after four in the afternoon.

Just as I was about to say goodbye to Su Wen and go home, his mother came back. He was a little surprised to see me. Su Wen then introduced me to his mother: "Mom, this is my classmate, Zhang Sicheng. Come to our house to play."

"Hello, Auntie, my name is Zhang Sicheng."

"Hello, welcome to our house."

Su Wen's mother wasn't particularly beautiful, but she had a very pleasing and charming look. I can't quite put my finger on it, maybe it's a kind of temperament!

"Are you going home already? Stay and have dinner before you leave!" Aunt Su started to persuade me to stay for dinner at her house, but I was probably feeling guilty about what I had done earlier, so I didn't want to stay any longer.

"No, Auntie, I should go home. It's so late, my mom will worry if I don't go back soon."

"Oh, okay, then Auntie won't keep you. Be careful on your way home, come over anytime."

After some polite exchanges, I finally left Su Wen's house. Back home, I found myself unable to stop thinking about Su Wen's mother. We'd only met once, and we hadn't even exchanged a few words, so why did I feel so special for her? It was strange.

In the days that followed, I went to Su Wen's house to play whenever I had free time. It wasn't always just playing games; sometimes I'd take him out to play basketball. Otherwise, even if Aunt Su was very hospitable, she would probably find me annoying.

"Ah Wen, your skills have improved a lot lately, you're almost as good as me."

"Hehe, that's all thanks to your excellent teaching!"

"Hey, call me 'master,' am I that old?"

Ever since we started hanging out together, Su Wen has been like a different person. He's become more talkative, more lively, and bolder. His classmates hardly recognize him anymore; he's the same Ah Wen who used to be as timid as a girl.

After a game of basketball, covered in sweat, I parted ways with Su Wen at the court. When I got home and was about to take a shower, I saw a pair of leather shoes by the front door. I was pretty sure they weren't my dad's shoes.

I didn't think much of it at the time and called out as usual, "Mom, I'm home." Immediately afterward, I heard a noise coming from my parents' bedroom. Before I could even figure out what was happening, the bedroom door opened.

"Chengcheng's back? Come on, come see your Uncle Chen. He just came to town on business and came to see us. He brought a lot of things."

To my surprise, Uncle Chen came out of the bedroom with my mom. I hadn't seen him since my dad came back that time, and I never expected him to suddenly appear in my house today.

"Chengcheng has grown so much, I almost didn't recognize him. Do you still recognize Uncle Chen?"

"What are you talking about? How could you forget him? It hasn't been that long! Right, Chengcheng?"

Uncle Chen, whose hair was neatly combed, joked with me. Before I could even speak, my mom spoke up for him.

I felt strange at that moment, but I couldn't explain why. I just felt inexplicably disgusted and repulsed by Uncle Chen. I just said a few perfunctory words, told them I was going to take a shower, went back to my room to get my clothes, went into the bathroom, and ignored them.

As I let the hot water from the showerhead wash away the grime from my body in the bathroom, my mind slowly regained its usual calm. The more I thought about it, the more uneasy I felt. Why would Uncle Chen come to my house out of the blue? What were he and Mom doing in the bedroom? They could have chatted in the living room.

An ominous premonition gripped my heart, and the more I thought about it, the more uneasy I became. I didn't even feel like showering anymore; I just quickly dried myself off with a towel and prepared to leave. Just as I was about to open the door, I heard my mother's voice outside.

"Hurry up and leave. Chengcheng will be out of the shower soon." My mother's voice sounded hurried and tense, as if she was feeling unwell; her tone had changed.

"Can I come see you again in a few days?"

"No, you can't come anymore. This is an exception. Otherwise, neither of us should live."

Uncle Chen didn't expect my mother to be so resolute. After a few seconds of silence, he said, "Okay, I understand. I... I'm leaving." Then I heard the door open and close; he must have left.

I stayed in the bathroom for a while before coming out. My mother's face showed no sign of anything amiss, and she was still making dinner for me as usual. But I knew that she and Uncle Chen were definitely hiding something from me.

Deep down, I could vaguely guess what was going on, but I just didn't want to face it. As long as I didn't see it with my own eyes, maybe it wasn't true, maybe I was just overthinking it, I comforted myself with that thought.

Later, Uncle Chen kept his promise to my mother and never came to our house again. My father's work also started to get on track, and he had more free time, no longer being away from home every few days like before.

Time flew by, and in the blink of an eye, I was already in my final year of junior high school. In a few months, it would be the high school entrance exam, but for me, it wasn't that important. Everyone else was putting in their best effort to get into a top high school, while I only needed to go to an ordinary high school, so the pressure wasn't that great. Su Wen, on the other hand, was different from me. He had excellent grades and was always among the top students in the class. The teachers all had high hopes for him.

My grades were only average, largely because I studied with him on weekends, which also made our families quite close. Later, I learned from my mother that Su Wen's father and Aunt Su had divorced long ago, and Aunt Su was raising Su Wen alone—a single-parent family.

It suddenly dawned on me why Su Wen seemed so withdrawn; I realized it must be related to his family background.

For a while afterward, I especially enjoyed going to Su Wen's house to play and study with him. The reason was that ever since Uncle Chen came to our house that day, a shadow had been cast over me. Although I didn't have direct evidence that my mother and Uncle Chen were having an affair, this thought clung to the depths of my heart like a shadow, refusing to leave.

Whenever I see my mom chatting and laughing with my dad, asking about my health and grades with a concerned look, I always think that everything about this woman is an act. She's having an affair with another man behind my dad's and my back. As soon as I think that, all her kindness immediately turns into dirty malice.

In the final months before the high school entrance exam, I often went to Su Wen's house to study with him. It wasn't that I planned to study hard to get into a top high school, but rather that someone I wanted to see there was Aunt Su.

Compared to my own mother, Su Wen's mother suddenly seemed incredibly admirable in my eyes. Her gentleness and kindness constantly warmed my heart. For a while, I longed to see her every single day. How wonderful it would be if she were my mother!

"Ding-dong...ding-dong..." I rang Su Wen's doorbell, and after a while, Aunt Su opened the door.

"Oh! Chengcheng's here. Wenwen isn't home today!"

I hadn't expected this bad timing; I had originally planned to ask Su Wen some questions.

"Don't stand outside, come in quickly. He might not be back for a while."

I had originally planned to leave, but since Aunt Su said so, I pretended to be obedient and entered the house. This was one of the reasons I had come—to talk to her more and see her more.

"Here, have a glass of water first!"

"Don't bother, I can do it myself."

"You're still being so polite with Auntie, or Auntie will get angry."

Sometimes Aunt Su would act like a little girl, and perhaps it was this mentality that made her look much younger than other women her age.

"How's your studying going lately? Don't put too much pressure on yourself." Aunt Su handed me a glass of water.

"It's alright, that's about my confidence level. I probably have no chance of getting into a top high school, but I'm pretty sure I'll get into a regular one."

"Hehe, you're such a playful kid. If you studied hard, with your intelligence, you wouldn't have trouble getting into a good high school." "

Then I'll just stay like this. Sitting there all day, not moving at all, would be so uncomfortable. I can't learn from Wen."

"Sigh, Wenwen has no choice. He doesn't like playing with people and only goes to home and school. Luckily, he made you his friend, and he's become much bolder than before."

"That's good. I've learned a lot from Wen too, otherwise my grades would still be at the bottom of the class!"

"Oh! I forgot, I left my clothes outside and haven't brought them in yet. It's going to rain soon." Saying this, Aunt Su immediately stood up from the sofa and went to the balcony.

"In that case, Auntie, I'll head back now. I didn't bring an umbrella, and I won't be able to get back later."

"Wait! Finish your meal before you leave. What's the rush? I have an umbrella here. If you leave, I'll get angry."

I usually stay here to eat if I study late. This place has almost become my second home. My parents know I went to Su Wen's house, so they're not worried even if I go back a little late.

After making up my mind, I sat down comfortably. I glanced unintentionally at the balcony, where Auntie was collecting laundry. I don't know if her clothes didn't fit or had shrunk, but when she raised her hand, the hem of her clothes rode up, revealing her fair and slender waist.

Although it was just a side view, I already had an indescribable feeling for Auntie Su, a feeling that was both admiration and dependence, hard to define.

"I'll go put the clothes away first, Chengcheng, take care of yourself!"

Just as Auntie was about to walk past me, she suddenly tripped over something, fell forward, and scattered the clothes in the basket all over the ground.

"Auntie, are you alright? How are you?" I quickly helped her up.

"I'm fine, I'm fine, I don't worry about walking at all, Auntie's alright."

Seeing that she was alright, I breathed a sigh of relief and quickly helped her pick up the clothes from the ground.

"Huh? This is..." As I was taking the clothes from the ground back into the basket one by one, I suddenly found a purple thong, which made me feel completely bewildered.

In those days, thongs were considered very avant-garde underwear, and women with more traditional views would find them difficult to accept, but I never expected that Auntie would buy such a thing.

"Ah!" Auntie exclaimed in surprise when she saw me holding her personal belongings. Startled, I was even more flustered and quickly tossed the thong into the basket, pretending nothing had happened. I hurriedly stuffed the rest of my things into the basket as well.

"Auntie, all done." When I handed the basket to Auntie Su, she looked at the ground, avoiding my gaze, gave a soft reply, and hurried back to her room.

I knew I couldn't stay there any longer. I shouted towards the bedroom, "I'm going back now," ignoring Auntie Su's reaction, and rushed out the door.

For a long time afterward, I didn't dare go to Su Wen's house. When Su Wen asked me what was wrong, I could only give him excuses.

Not long after I learned I had passed the high school entrance exam, my parents informed me that they were divorced. I can't describe the situation or my feelings at the time; I just felt that if this was a dream, I begged it to wake up! However, in the end, my father still left us and went to another city, leaving me, still in a daze and unable to believe the truth, and my mother, who was constantly in tears.

I didn't ask about the specific reason for their divorce at the time, but later I roughly guessed from some of my mother's words that it was probably related to that Uncle Chen. I don't know when my father found out about this, but he endured it until now before divorcing me. I am very grateful to him. I am not sad at all for him doing this; instead, I feel a sense of relief for him.

As for my mother, for a long time afterward, I hardly spoke to her. Except for meals and asking for money, I basically didn't see her.

Around the time I was in my second year of high school, she told me that she wanted to get married and had found an uncle. I directly asked her, "Is it that Uncle Chen?" She was stunned by my question. She probably didn't expect that her secret would be known by her son!

Then she said, "So you knew all along," which further confirmed my guess from back then and the reason for her divorce. She wanted to explain further, but I ignored her, turned around, and went back to my room, leaving her with the words, "If you want to get married, do whatever you want."

Not long after, my mother got married. The groom wasn't that Uncle Chen; his surname was Yi. He came to see me once the day before the wedding,

and I didn't respond to his advances, simply locking myself in my room. After my mother's marriage, she moved in with Uncle Yi, only returning on weekends. During the week, she would leave me plenty of money or come over to cook me a meal. My hatred for her grew daily. Seeing her living a happy and comfortable life now made me feel sorry for my father. I gradually stopped seeing her as my mother and started seeing her as a woman—a woman I both loved and hated.

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