cousin

My Cousin

(Part 1): Childhood Fantasies

My maternal grandfather's family was a large clan. My uncle always lived with my grandfather, and I
spent my childhood there. Even after we moved out, I still ate two meals a day at
my grandfather's house and took a nap there at noon. Our house was just a place to sleep at night.

People thought my father was a live-in son-in-law, and I thought so too. At least in our family, my mother's word was law,
and my father never disagreed.

My cousin was my uncle's only son, six years older than me.

Because my father was busy with work and my mother was addicted to mahjong, I actually grew up under my cousin's care. He not only
played with me and tutored me, but sometimes when I didn't do well in school, he would scold me, and I would cry and run to my
mother to complain. My aunt would then reprimand my cousin, and he would ignore me. But not long after, I would
cling to my cousin again, because besides him, no one else in the family would play with me.

When I was a child, television and movies were incredibly boring, filled with red-themed scenes. Naturally,
these movies often featured depictions of female communists enduring torture and abuse while remaining steadfast. Because the characters in the movies
seemed oblivious to pain, I didn't understand the pain; instead, I found it amusing.

From a very young age, I harbored an urge to be hung up and severely whipped. As a child, I even had a strange wish
: to grow up to be a female communist, fall into enemy hands, and never betray them no matter how they interrogated me.

One summer day when I was eight, only my cousin and I were home. He suggested playing a game of tying up bad guys, and I happily
agreed.

He first asked me to tie him up, but I had no idea how, and he easily untied me. Then he tied me up,
simply binding my hands behind my back with plastic wrap. My cousin told me to struggle, and I struggled helplessly, but
couldn't free myself.

Real binding was different from what I imagined; the more I struggled, the tighter the rope became, until my wrists ached. Less
than ten minutes later, I burst into tears, which startled my cousin, who quickly untied me.

"I'm sorry, does it hurt?" my cousin comforted me.

I slowly stopped crying, realizing it didn't actually hurt much; I was only crying because I couldn't untie myself.

"It doesn't hurt anymore."

"Don't tell the adults, okay?"

"Okay!"

At lunchtime, my mother asked me what I had played that morning. "My cousin and I played tag. He's really
good; I can't tie him up. Once he ties me up, I can't untie myself," I said proudly, completely
ignoring my cousin's warning. The atmosphere at the table immediately became awkward; everyone fell silent.

Looking back now, knowing my uncle's temper, my cousin must have been scolded afterward, and he didn't speak to me for a long time
.

I miss the feeling of being tied up for the first time and have a strong desire to play it again. I begged my cousin to
play the bondage game again, but he said, "No more, you'll tell the adults."

"I won't tell this time."

"Swear."

"I swear."

"Don't cry, just say so if you can't take it."

"I promise I won't cry."

After getting my promise, my cousin twisted my hands behind my back and tied me to a chair with the kind of tight bondage shown on TV
, then tied my feet together. He tied me very lightly, and after he finished, he tossed me aside and went to do his
homework.

At first, I felt incredibly comfortable, but after a while, my hands started to go numb.

"Cousin, my hands are numb." "

Hold on a little longer, my heroine, it's only been fifteen minutes."

I thought, yeah, if I can't even stand being tied up for fifteen minutes, what kind of heroine am I?! But my body just wouldn't cooperate
; the numbness spread through my arms, then turned into a stinging pain. I tried to break free, but the more I struggled, the tighter the ropes became. I
started groaning, begging my cousin, and tears welled up in my eyes again. My cousin then let me go.

However, once untied, the feeling of being tied up became a beautiful memory. Whenever I had the chance, I
would ask my cousin to tie me up again, but each time I would beg him for mercy after a while. Looking back now,
it was truly a wonderful childhood.

I think I'm too afraid of pain, and I'll never become a heroine in this life; I can only play tied up with my cousin.

(II) Teenage Years

My puberty came early; I started menstruating at eleven, and my body had already grown to 1.6 meters tall.

My cousin started to distance himself from me and stopped playing the tied-up game. At this time, society was no longer
the society of my childhood. No one read the classic revolutionary books anymore; Hong Kong and Taiwan films and Japanese comics flooded in. In
the pocket books that everyone was reading, I saw sex for the first time. I

had a strange dream that night. My cousin tied me up and suddenly started kissing me and taking off my clothes. I
could clearly feel my cousin rubbing my breasts; it felt so good! When my cousin was about to pull down my underwear, I suddenly
woke up and realized that my underwear was a little wet, and my clitoris was swollen like it had never been before.

Why did I dream about doing *that* with my cousin? I was terrified. Did I really want to do that with him?

After a few days of anxiety, I gradually calmed down: "It's okay, it's just a dream."

But a few months later, the dream recurred. I was still tied up and stripped naked by my cousin. His kisses
and caresses felt so good. I woke up suddenly and started to blame myself for waking up so quickly from such a pleasant dream.

I thought that every time I had this kind of dream, it was because I had seen pornography during the day. To enter this
pleasurable dream more often, I started actively seeking out such things.

I dreamed about my cousin more and more often. Once, I dreamed that my whole family, classmates, and teachers were all there. My cousin
stripped me naked and hung me under the grape trellis in our house, whipping me until I was covered in bruises, but it didn't hurt
at all; it felt very good, and I felt an indescribable excitement.

Finally, I had the chance to be alone at home with my cousin.

"This isn't fun," I threw down the controller of my Nintendo game console. "I'm not playing anymore."

"What do you want to play?" my cousin asked me.

"Let's play a game of tag!" I said. "Cousin, I want to tag you. You haven't tagged me in a long time."

"That's for little kids. You're all grown up now." My cousin looked a little nervous.

I knew he was lying. "Who says we can't play when we're grown up? I want to play!"

"Who should we tag first?" My cousin took out a bundle of cotton rope.

I put my hands behind my back and said, "Tie me up first! Tie it tight."

"You're always so stubborn, be careful you don't start crying later."

"I'm all grown up now, I won't cry."

My cousin tied my hands behind my back and then wrapped the rope around my chest twice, up and down.

'The way you tie someone up in a Japanese manga.' I thought to myself, 'So my cousin reads pocket books too.'

My cousin's hand accidentally touched my breast, and I felt a jolt. Then my cousin
tied my feet up, the rope was a little tight, my breathing became a little rapid, and my breasts
rose and fell slightly because of the rope. My cousin's eyes were fixed on my breasts, making me feel like I wasn't wearing any clothes, and
my face turned bright red.

"Cousin, what are you looking at?"

My cousin didn't answer the question, but changed the subject, "Is it too tight?"

"It's comfortable." I leaned against my cousin's chest, and he hugged me back.

"Why have you been avoiding me for the past six months? You haven't played the bondage game with me anymore."

"Xiaoshuang, you're all grown up now. People will gossip."

"What are you afraid of? This is our secret. No one will know. Cousin, do you like to tie me up?"

"Yes. I often want to tie you up."

"I like being tied up by you too, really."

I suddenly kissed my cousin's face, and he kissed me back. We didn't talk or do anything else. We just sat
quietly , embracing each other, occasionally kissing and nuzzling each other. I longed for my cousin to touch my body. I think
he must have wanted to too, but he was my cousin, and he would always be my cousin.

It wasn't until noon, when my family was about to come home, that my cousin untied me.

Later, my cousin told me, "We will always be siblings." We stopped playing the bondage game.

If every girl has a dream, my eleven-year-old dream was that my cousin would no longer be my cousin. I would
marry him and let him tie me up for life.

(III) The Rainy Season

When I was twelve, my cousin was eighteen. He was admitted to a university in Beijing and was about to leave. I, who was only in junior high school,
was destined to be separated from my cousin.

My parents' work unit was giving me a company-sponsored trip, and I was staying
at

my maternal grandfather's house. The thought of not seeing my cousin for a long time filled me with longing, leading me to make the bravest decision of my life. Late at night, after my grandfather and uncle had fallen asleep, I sneaked into my cousin's room with a hidden rope.

"What are you doing?" my cousin asked in a low voice, startled.

"Cousin, you're leaving in a few days, and I want you to tie me up one more time."

"Are you crazy? Everyone's here, what if they find out?"

"They're all asleep. I'll tie you up for a bit and then go back to sleep; they won't know."

My cousin really wanted to tie me up. He took the rope, and I sat on the bed. He tied it tightly, the rope digging deep
into my arms.

After tying me up, I lay down on the bed: "Turn off the light, let's have a private talk. We both have to tell
the truth , no lying."

At first, we slept very soundly.

"Cousin, do you know? I dream about you all the time."

My cousin hugged me tightly. "Xiaoshuang, me too."

"I like you, cousin."

"I like you too, but we're siblings."

"I know cousins can't marry, but tonight, please forget I'm your cousin and love
me properly. Just for one night."

My cousin's hands, caressing my body, felt like a warm current flowing through my entire body. He kissed my earlobe and rubbed my
newly developing breasts.

"Cousin, pinch me, I want to know if I'm dreaming."

"Hmm." My cousin pinched my thigh.

"Great, it's not a dream."

"Can I pinch you a few more times?" my cousin asked. "Pinch me

however you like, as long as you're happy."

"You're just being stubborn!" My cousin covered my mouth with his, pinching my whole body without mercy. It
hurt a little, but there was an indescribable excitement.

My cousin took off his pants, revealing something I had never seen before—a man's genitals. I never imagined they were so
ugly.

"Open your mouth," my cousin shoved his penis into my mouth, it tasted a little salty and fishy. "Lick it."

I knelt in front of my cousin and struggled to lick his penis. Soon, his penis twitched strangely,
and a thick, slightly acidic liquid sprayed into my mouth.

"I'm sorry, spit it out!"

"No." I stubbornly swallowed the semen. Although it tasted terrible, it might be
a once-in-a-lifetime experience.

"It's your turn!" My cousin pulled up my pajamas, exposing most of my body, and spread my legs into an M
shape, licking my genitals.

He licked so comfortably that I couldn't help but moan softly. "Don't scream!" My cousin stuffed a pillowcase into my mouth,
stroking my body while licking my genitals.

I never expected my body to feel so incredibly comfortable, sex to be so wonderful. I felt light and airy, as if I were flying
to the sky, and a lot of fluid kept gushing out from my genitals. I finally understood what an orgasm was. But my cousin didn't know I
had already climaxed and continued licking me. My body reacted again, and after several orgasms, I was almost exhausted.

My cousin removed the pillowcase from my mouth and asked, "How is it? Is it comfortable?"

I gasped and said, "I'm about to die."

We were both exhausted. My cousin loosened the rope a little, but he didn't intend to let me go, and I didn't
want to loosen the rope either. Neither of us slept, and we chatted until dawn before I secretly slipped out of my cousin's
room.

The happier you are, the more heartbroken you are when you lose it. My cousin's departure plunged me into deep pain.
When I was twelve, apart from that unforgettable night, all that remained was endless sorrow.

(IV) The Substitute

My cousin is gone.

I once thought that it would be enough to make love with my cousin once in my life. After getting it, I realized how naive I was
. Getting it only makes you want it more.

My cousin preserved my virginity, but I had long lost my virginity. After my cousin left, I learned to
masturbate. Masturbation only provides short-term satisfaction, but my physical desires became stronger and stronger. I gradually learned how to
insert things into my vagina, first cotton swabs and fingers, and later sausages.

One night, I inserted a cucumber into my vagina, and it bled. I cried. I hated my own greed;
my virginity should have belonged to my cousin, but now I had cheaply sold it to a cucumber.

I was grateful for the rope and pillowcase that night; without them, I would have struggled, I would have retreated, and I could never
have experienced that superhuman pleasure. But without my cousin, I could only do some simple self-bondage, which enhanced
the pleasure of masturbation but completely lacked the masochistic feeling.

My cousin wrote to me from university, telling me he had a girlfriend and advising me to find a boyfriend and forget about him.

A year later, I had my first boyfriend. He didn't leave a very good impression on me. One day after school,
we were caught kissing in the classroom by the headmaster. He cried and blamed everything on me, and I
broke up with him without hesitation.

At fifteen, I had my second boyfriend. My reason for dating him was simple: he
resembled my cousin in both temperament and appearance, and I was satisfied with him.

I told him I didn't like being with many people. We always went on dates alone to secluded spots in the countryside
. I always wore a bandage, waiting for him to suggest tying me up.

Finally, one day, he asked me, "Can I tie you up?"

I was a little distracted; how had he suddenly become my cousin in my eyes?

"Just tie me up, I promise I won't do anything bad," he said.

"Okay!" I put my hands behind my back; I had been waiting for him to say that for a long time.

He didn't tie me up too tightly, just binding my hands to a small tree behind me, but that was enough.
After losing my freedom, my body became incredibly craving. My genitals were almost instantly soaked; my lips needed to be kissed,
my whole body wanted to be touched, and my vagina needed something to fill it. How much I longed for him to violate my body, yet he
just sat quietly beside me, holding me, talking to me, and that was all.

I went home, hid in my room, and cried, tying myself up and masturbating frantically. I

had once liked my cousin so much, yet I so desperately wanted to be raped. I hated my own promiscuity,
torturing my genitals with whatever I could insert until the pain became unbearable.

"Cousin, when are you coming back?"

As I get older, my desires grow stronger, and I crave the touch and penetration of the opposite sex. I'm afraid I
won't live to see my cousin come back.

(V) Raping My Cousin

During summer vacation, my cousin finally came back.

Every time my cousin came back, he was more mature and manly.

"I got into the provincial key high school." I told my cousin the news.

"Let's celebrate. How about I buy you a prize?"

"I don't want anything. It's been three years. Let's play bondage again!"

My cousin hesitated for a moment and then agreed.

There was no one else at home. "Can I tie you up first?" I took out a rope and said, "You tie me up later,
just like when we were kids."

"Okay." My cousin didn't refuse.

I tied my cousin's limbs tightly to the bed.

"Xiao Shuang's bondage skills are amazing! I can't even untie them."

I lay on top of my cousin and slowly stroked his genitals, feeling something gradually getting
bigger and harder there.

I whispered, "Cousin, I'm sorry."

For some reason, I didn't feel the restraint or shame I had with other men in front of my cousin. I
unbuttoned his shirt and pulled down his pants.

"What do you want to do?"

"I know you can't marry me, but I want to be your first woman, and I want you to be my
first man."

"Xiaoshuang, stop. Where did you learn this?"

"It doesn't matter." I gently kissed my cousin, caressed his chest, and licked his penis.

"Stop!" my cousin said.

"Go ahead and shout, let everyone see us, I don't care." I took off my clothes, straddled my cousin
, and inserted his hard penis into my vagina.

"Xiaoshuang, stop!" my cousin said, "Otherwise, I'll never speak to you again."

"I don't care!" I was already intoxicated by the pleasure my vagina was experiencing from my cousin's penis.

"Cousin, you know how much I wish I were the one on the bottom."

"Then, Xiaoshuang, let me go. How about I tie you to the bed?"

"Cousin, I'm not a child anymore. Next time, okay?"

I saw my cousin suppressing his lust: "Cousin, if you can hold back, then hold back. I'm going to be your
woman today." Saying that, I wriggled my body up and down.

"Get out quickly, I'm going to ejaculate."

"Ejaculate inside! Fulfill your sister's desire this once."

I thrust with all my might, and my cousin's penis suddenly became incredibly large, hard and throbbing inside me
... In an instant, several streams of hot semen sprayed onto my cervix. So comfortable! This is a
fulfilling pleasure that no amount of masturbation can provide, a satisfaction I've longed for for so long.

I continued to revel in it for a while before releasing my cousin. "I'm sorry!" I said, "Cousin, I was being willful.
Please don't ignore me anymore, okay?"

My cousin didn't say a word, twisted my hands behind my back, and tied them with hemp rope. My cousin had never tied
me up like this before. The rope dug into my flesh, and my hands quickly became numb and lacked blood flow. Breathing became difficult.

My cousin threw me onto the bed and whipped my buttocks with his belt. It burned with pain. I gritted my teeth and didn't
scream, but tears streamed down my face.

This was the first time I had ever been beaten in my life. It was incredibly painful, but I felt a sense of atonement.

After a dozen or so blows, I saw my cousin raise the belt high. I closed my eyes and thought, "As long as you can calm
down, you can hit me however you want."

But my cousin stopped and let me go. "Don't tell anyone about what happened today," my cousin said sternly
.

"I swear, this will always be a secret between the two of us."

The day after I gave my virginity to my cousin, I slept with my boyfriend.

Later, something terrible happened—I got pregnant. I secretly went to have an abortion, but I didn't know
whose child it was.

(VI) My cousin got married, but the bride wasn't me.

I barely managed to get into university.

After a crazy summer vacation, my boyfriend and I broke up. He could accept that I wasn't a virgin, but
he couldn't stand that I slept with him and loved someone else. I knew our relationship was over.

After entering university, I quickly got another boyfriend. But our relationship only lasted a month because I
wasn't a virgin, and because my SM tendencies scared him. I've never
regretted accepted them calmly.

When I was eighteen, my cousin was twenty-four. During winter break, my cousin brought his wife home. She was very beautiful, and I
felt like an ugly duckling standing next to her. What was even more terrifying was that after getting married, my cousin and his wife would immigrate to the United States
to study . Although my cousin had been deliberately avoiding me for the past few years, the thought of never seeing me again always made me very sad
.

On the night of my cousin's wedding, I was my cousin's wife's bridesmaid. My heart was bleeding. I had expected this ending
, but reality was still unbearable.

When everyone was drunk, I sneaked into my cousin's new house and put on my cousin's wife's wedding dress. We
have a tradition of teasing the newlyweds in their new home, so I hid in the closet.

My cousin and his wife came back, both a little drunk, and couldn't wait to make love as soon as they closed the door.

"Can I tie you up and do it?" I heard my cousin say this, and I thought, 'If only you would say that to me
!'

"Hmm, you pervert! Okay, I'll satisfy you this once."

"Can I hit you a few times?"

"Don't hit me, or I won't do it with you anymore." I heard my cousin's wife refuse my cousin.

'Cousin, if you were marrying me... do you know? I really want to be whipped by you again.' I
thought to myself as I tied my hands with bandages.

While my cousin and his wife were making love, I was masturbating in the closet, wearing my wedding dress, fantasizing that I
was the bride tied to the bed, being penetrated by my cousin's penis. Listening to their moans, I couldn't help but secretly shed tears.

I heard them snoring before I quietly pushed open the closet door. My cousin's wife was sleeping soundly, she had a great figure, my cousin
was really lucky.

My cousin suddenly opened his eyes, looked at me in horror, and gently shook his head. I used my teeth to loosen
the knot of the bandage on my hand, gently took off my wedding dress, changed back into my own clothes, and left. My cousin's wife hadn't woken up yet.

(VII) The Old House

I returned to my grandfather's old house.

After my grandfather passed away, my uncle's family moved to a high-end apartment in the city center, and the old house was left
empty. I slowly swept the dust out of the house, searching for the beautiful memories of my childhood.

The grapes in the yard had long since withered, and the furniture was dilapidated, but where my cousin first tied me up,
which room was where I confessed my love to my cousin, where I raped my cousin... all of this
flashed by like a movie.

"You!" Someone pushed the door open and we both exclaimed at the same time.

"I'm leaving, and it may be many years before I come back, so I came to take one last look at the place where I lived when I was a child."
My cousin wanted to leave and avoid me.

"Don't you want to take one last look at your cousin?" I said, unbuttoning my shirt.

"Xiaoshuang, what are you doing?"

"Seeing my cousin here, I believe it's fate's arrangement. I want to do
what your wife doesn't want to do."

"What did you say?"

"You know what I said." I was already completely naked: "I won't tell anyone."

My cousin considered for a long time, finally unable to resist the temptation, he tied my hands up and whipped
my body with rope and a belt. At first, it hurt a lot, but there was a strange excitement.

More and more red marks appeared on my body, but I couldn't feel the pain anymore. Instead, I felt that the burning sensation was
an indescribable enjoyment. Seeing that my cousin also looked satisfied, I felt even happier, especially when the whip landed on
my breasts and private parts, each strike giving me an electric shock-like excitement.

"Does it hurt?" my cousin asked me.

"No, I've been waiting for you to beat me for many years."

"You're just being stubborn!"

These words made me feel like I was back in my childhood.

Slowly, I used my body to welcome my cousin's whip, letting the parts that most wanted to be whipped receive
the baptism of pleasure.

My cousin threw down the belt, took off his clothes, and fucked me hard without any regard for anything else. My cousin seemed determined
to conquer me completely with all his might. I had never experienced such powerful and forceful thrusting before. After being
whipped all over, my vagina, which could no longer withstand the whipping, was filled with a yearning to endure the pain. Reaching orgasm amidst this pain
was what I wanted most.

After my cousin ejaculated, he continued to thrust wildly inside me until we were both exhausted.
I had experienced the sensations I craved many times.

At the station, I pulled my cousin aside. "There's something I've always wanted to ask you, cousin,"
I said. "Cousin, am I your first woman?" My

cousin blushed deeply and finally said, "Two women have loved me deeply in my life. That's enough for me."

"I understand, cousin."

[The End]

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