My sexual aversion and the miracle of my son

I'm a mother of two, but these two children were born from my husband raping me. Why do I say this? Because I'm sexually frigid, or rather, averse to sex; every time we have sex, it feels like I'm being raped. Seeing doctors hasn't helped, and it's almost driven my husband crazy. Men have plenty of ways to deal with slutty women, but my husband seems to have no solution for me. He can't arouse my passion.

My husband and I are probably on the verge of divorce from all our arguments.
In fact, we've been arguing almost our whole lives, and it always starts in the middle of the night. "Idiot," "stupid pig," "wild donkey"—these are some of my common insults. As for the reasons for our arguments, we keep them a secret from everyone.
One night, I was yelling at my husband like a pig being slaughtered, cursing, "You wild donkey, you're hurting me so much, you

might as well kill me!" My child, who was in her room next door, heard everything clearly. To try and break up the fight, she rushed to our door and burst in, only to be stunned by what she saw. My husband and I were both completely naked. When we saw her, we quickly pulled the covers over ourselves. I put on my clothes and followed her to her room. Only then did she dare ask, "Mom, what

's all the fuss about?" I stammered for a long time without saying a word. Seeing this, my child suddenly realized, "Mom and Dad are naked because we're having sex! Did you two fight because of sex? Sex shouldn't lead to fighting, it's so inexplicable, I don't understand!" My child patiently pressed me for answers, and I could only give a brief explanation: "Your dad and I have argued countless times about sex throughout our lives. Your dad is as rude as a donkey; no matter how I feel, if he wants to, he'll just pounce on me, rough

and clumsy, it's unbearable."
My husband tried everything to change me, including sending me articles online about how couples should live and get along, telling me dirty jokes, and watching porn together. But every time, I'd say his thoughts were dirty and he was only thinking about such pointless things. Later,

my husband suggested I watch some live porn. I didn't care; it was all the same to me. My husband actually arranged for two couples to go to a hotel and play a game of "same room, different bed"—two couples in one room, both supposed to sleep together for mutual stimulation. I didn't have that passion, so I could only watch the other couple make love. The other couple was very unhappy, and the meeting ended badly.

Then my husband took me to a spa, but I only go for treatments and spas for health reasons, not for anything else. I showered and had oil applied. The massage, etc., started with a woman, which I found quite comfortable. Then she blindfolded me with a towel, and a more vigorous masseuse came over, making it even more pleasurable. My husband then lifted the towel, revealing a naked young man standing next to me. Seeing my reaction, he thought I would explode, but I

didn't. I could tolerate the simple physical contact at the spa. The main massage—on my shoulders, back, arms, and legs—was very

comfortable .
That evening, after washing the dishes and tidying up, my daughter pulled me into my room for a private chat. She told me my symptoms resembled both frigidity and sexual aversion. I said almost definitively that I had sexual aversion. My daughter then said, "According to what I read online, sexual aversion is mostly caused by sexual trauma. Mom,

what major thing happened to you in the past?" I hesitated, but ultimately didn't say anything; I had experienced something difficult to discuss. My daughter didn't press me, afraid of upsetting me. She then playfully told me that she wasn't a virgin anymore and had had sex many times, but with her boyfriend, not promiscuous. And it was very enjoyable; she always reached orgasm. My daughter even described how wonderful her orgasms were. I looked at my daughter like she was a monster and said,

"You're so young and already like this? What if you get pregnant?" My daughter said, "How can a nurse get pregnant?" I added, "You trust your boyfriend that much? Is he good to you? Don't let him deceive your feelings and your body." My daughter said, "Mom, don't worry, your daughter isn't that stupid."
Ever since my husband took me to the spa, and since I can accept massages from men, my husband and I go

there from time to time. One time, my son saw us coming out of there after school. When we got home, he asked me, "Do you like oil massages?" "I can do that too," I replied. "I can give you one at home; it's better than going there, and it saves money." I said, "That's true. Okay, I'll enjoy my son's massages from now on."
Let me tell you about my son first. He did very well on his mock exam this year and has a good chance of getting into a 211 university. I

had promised him a trip, and we went to Hainan. My son kept touching me inappropriately the whole way. He took pictures of me on the beach, pretended to have a leg cramp in the sea, and hugged my body and thighs. He even bought me stockings as a small gift and made me wear them. He was always secretly taking advantage of me. As a mother, I'm not afraid of being taken advantage of, but I'm worried about his future development. Because the hotel rooms were too expensive at 200 yuan a room, we always booked one room. In the middle of the night, he would

always put his hand inside my pajama pants and grope me. I pretended to be asleep.
Actually, I know my son's little tricks. He wants to take advantage of his mother and give her a massage. On Sunday, while his sister was at work and his dad was fishing, he actually bought the massage supplies. Then he made me take off all my clothes except my underwear and bra, and pretended to apply oil and give me a massage. Boys have strong hands, it really feels good, but sometimes

my son 's hands cross the line, touching inside my underwear, inside my bra. But I don't seem to mind. He rested for a while when his hands got tired. Then, during the massage, he got a little lewd, touching my labia. I don't think I've ever felt this excited before. My son is so good at it, I made sounds of pleasure. Maybe it's because it's my own son, I don't feel any resentment, it even feels good, so I let him touch me a little longer

. From then on, I liked my son's massages. He touched my breasts and legs, and I didn't mind too much. His boundaries got wider and wider. Once, he even slowly probed inside my vagina with his fingers, making me feel excited and aroused. Wait, I was puzzled, it turns out my vagina isn't completely averse to men touching it. My face flushed. Seeing this, my son added another finger. My vagina felt a little swollen, but it felt

amazing inside, a feeling I'd never experienced before.
So I started to enjoy it. Whenever I had free time, I'd let my son massage me, applying essential oils, making my body feel smooth and comfortable. But this time, something unexpected happened. My son finally couldn't resist the temptation of my mature, voluptuous yet relatively slender body. After the massage, he inserted his penis into my vagina. Because I was in a state of blissful comfort, I wasn't

on guard . The strong stimulation inside my vagina felt like being shot; I froze instantly. This bastard son had actually slept with his own mother! I thought back to how his grandfather had treated me, and it felt different. My son's thrusting didn't cause me discomfort; instead, it aroused me, unlike when his grandfather did it—it felt like a sharp knife was stabbing me, only unbearable pain and discomfort. I didn't push my son off; I let him ejaculate inside me.

Afterward, I told my son, "You raped your mother." My son said I got carried away and couldn't control myself. I said, "You're lucky you didn't annoy your mother, otherwise I would have killed you." Then, I told my son about my past with his grandfather.
I've kept this secret for decades, a secret I can't tell anyone. Now that your children are grown, I'll

tell you, but you have to keep it a secret, or there will be a huge storm in the family. Mom said your grandfather liked to drink, and when he was drunk, he didn't know who was who. When I was little, only a teenager, I slept with them. When he was drunk,
he always wanted to sleep with your grandmother. She was annoyed by his alcohol smell and wouldn't allow it, so he would hit her and rape her. These things left a deep impression on me; my impression of your grandfather was that he always bullied your grandmother. When I was

fifteen , one night, your grandfather was drunk again. As usual, he pulled back the covers and wanted to sleep with your grandmother. But that day, your grandmother was in a hurry to go back to her parents' house for some reason. For convenience
, I slept in her bed. Your grandfather mistook me for your grandmother and wanted to have sex with me. I resisted desperately, and he started hitting me again, knocking me unconscious. Then he forced himself on me. When he found penetration difficult and very tight…

Then, he realized something was wrong. He turned on the light and saw me. Although drunk, he still recognized me and froze on the spot, but he didn't stop and still ejaculated. Your grandfather wasn't completely drunk, and then he knelt down and said, "Your father is an animal, your father was drunk."
Ever since then, I've had a chronic condition where men get goosebumps when they touch me, and I always feel that men are wolves. *Pfft*, I let out a long breath, as if I had released all the pent-up frustration from the past two years, and I felt

relieved. This was the first time I had opened up to my family. I couldn't tell my grandmother, because if I did, we would definitely get a divorce. I also couldn't really tell your father, because it was hard to say whether he would accept it. Sigh! After hearing my story, my son looked
solemn and swore that he would do anything for his mother as long as she was happy, and help her forget the unpleasant past.
I don't know if a seventeen-year-old boy's semen entering my vagina will result in pregnancy. Anyway, my son ejaculated inside me

. I'm a little worried about that.
From then on, there were no boundaries or privacy between my son and me. Whenever he had the chance, he would massage me and take advantage of me. One time, I was in a particularly good mood, and my son was massaging me very diligently and vigorously. Suddenly, I felt an intense desire, an intense longing for a male I had never experienced before, a yearning for something bigger and thicker to penetrate

me . And it actually happened! My son's thick penis plunged into my body, so full and so stimulating. Involuntarily, I hugged my son tightly, as if afraid of losing the delicious treat I had just obtained. The impact of my son's young and strong body almost made my body go numb. My genitals actively welcomed my son's arrival and cooperated with his departure. Then came a torrent of orgasms like a storm. I felt like I was melting, ascending to heaven. Just as my son and I were lost in ecstasy,

my daughter's beautiful face appeared through the crack in the door. She clearly saw my and her brother's naked bodies still intertwined. My daughter didn't say anything and silently left. She had already made love and understood our actions at a glance.
Having lived as a woman for forty years, I had just experienced an orgasm with my son and was still savoring the afterglow. After dinner, my daughter pulled me into her room, closed the door, and made sure her father didn't overhear our

whispered conversation . My daughter said, "Mom, you don't seem sexually averse at all. The way you look at me, it's like you want to devour my brother." I was embarrassed and told my daughter that her brother had cured my old ailment with a massage, and we just couldn't help ourselves. I then told my daughter about my affair with her grandfather, and she finally understood why my sex life had been so painful. My daughter said, "My dad has really suffered a lot, first my grandfather, then my brother. How are you going to repay him

?" I honestly hadn't thought of anything to say, and I felt a little guilty about my husband's unwavering support over the past twenty years. I teased my daughter, "How about you find your dad a mistress?" My daughter laughed at me, "You're so generous."
My daughter's behavior has surprised me. She dresses much more revealingly at home, always wearing a tank top and shorts, or a bra and shorts, as if her dad and brother don't exist. She wanders around everywhere. I've subtly hinted

at it a few times, but to no avail. She also spends a lot of time with her dad. I have a feeling that sooner or later, my husband's father-in-law and son might have to repay what they owe him with my daughter.
(The End)

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My sexual aversion and the miracle of my son

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