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Caught between the hurt and the sweetness after having sex with my mother. 

I've been feeling down these past few days, but sometimes quite happy. Every day after school, I can't help but glance at my mom's belly out of the corner of my eye. My biggest fear right now is that there's a little brother or sister in her belly—that would be terrible!
We live in a small town, with urban residency. My mom works in a restaurant, and my dad is a long-distance truck driver,

only coming home every ten days or so. Our house is right on the edge of town, a self-built house. In Northeast China, where there's no central heating, we build a large kang (heated brick bed) to keep warm in winter. There's a wooden partition over the kang, like a screen, about 1.2 meters high. During the day, it's moved to the end of the kang (near the chimney). At night, it's used to separate my parents from us children.

I developed relatively quickly and matured early; by twelve, I vaguely understood what sex was all about. Actually, my sex education teachers were animals—I've seen dogs, pigs, chickens, rabbits, cows, horses, sheep, donkeys, and so on mating; it's commonplace for me. Mischievous kids once even used a stick to lift a dog that was chained (stuck during mating) and paraded it through the streets. One guy was even more impressive; when a stallion and a mare were mating, the stallion's penis, when it was erect

and poking around at the mare's vulva, would have to relax and rest, causing its penis to bend. Since the penis was thick and heavy, it was quite difficult to straighten. Just as the stallion was about to straighten it again and start poking around, my friend, quick as a flash, would use his hand to support the penis from below, aligning it with the mare's vulva, and the stallion would thrust in with all its might. So, you see, rural kids also have their own kind of quirky fun.

Ever since I understood matters of the heart, I started paying attention to everything my mother did. For example, I would rummage through her closet for condoms and birth control pills. I actually knew what they were for; sometimes I'd wake up in the morning to find a condom on the floor with my father's semen still inside. And then there were the towels my parents used at night; they always had a fishy, musty smell. Sometimes, when Mom's underwear was left unwashed in the bathroom, she would pick it up and

examine it. And surprisingly, she did find something. Besides menstrual blood, which I knew about, there was sometimes a large white patch on the glans. I was puzzled; was it Dad's semen, or something else? I looked it up online and found out it was vaginal discharge.
One day after school, a neighbor hugged me at the door, preventing me from going inside, saying she'd play with me outside for a while, but my mother was inside and I couldn't look. Still puzzled, I wandered around outside. A while later, a neighbor came out with

a basin of bloody water from the trash. I went closer and saw blood clots in it. Later, I learned that Mom had miscarried. By
the time I was fourteen, I was no longer satisfied with just what I saw on the surface. I always wanted to see the difference between a grown woman and a little girl. Sisters, I'd seen what other little girls'

private parts looked like when they wore open-crotch pants; those tender parts no longer aroused me. I always wanted to find a chance to secretly see what Mom's private parts looked like. My father was often away on business trips, and summer, the most beautiful season, was when my mother slept in light clothing and blankets, giving me my chance. One night, I fought off sleep, waiting for my mother's breathing as she slept. When I felt it was about time, I tiptoed from one side of the gate to the other, quietly crawling to her buttocks. I gently pulled back the edge of her

underwear and shone a small flashlight on it for a closer look. I was shocked at first glance: two large patches of purplish-red flesh were exposed, something a little girl couldn't see at all. There was also a lot of pubic hair, not very dark. My mother moved slightly, but there was no sound. Terrified, I quickly and quietly ran back to my side to sleep. My heart pounded for a while. A few days later, I tried to resist, but I couldn't suppress the urge to see it again. Around this time, due to the intense stimulation of my mother's genitals, I

began to masturbate. As night fell, my rustling and giggling on the other side of the gate, my heavy breathing during climax, alerted my mother. After all, she's been there, and she deliberately reminded me, "Son, what are you doing?" I stopped but didn't answer. I pretended to be asleep. Half an hour later, assuming she was sound asleep, I resumed my actions, running to her side. Quietly repeating my previous stealthy advance, I turned on my flashlight. Holy crap, my mother's

large, white buttocks immediately stunned me—she wasn't wearing underwear. Only a towel was draped around her waist. At the time, I didn't think much of it; my mother's completely exposed appearance allowed me to examine her closely, completely dispelling any doubts, but creating a certain allure. Now, thinking back, it's possible my mother wasn't wearing underwear intentionally. Last time I peeked, I thought I was being discreet, but perhaps she already knew. Was this intentional? Or another form

of sex education?
As time went on, I learned more, and wanted to explore more. Now, I paid even more attention to what my parents did at night. As soon as Dad got home from his long trip, I eagerly prepared to eavesdrop that night, since the shutters wouldn't block out the sound. That night, once I thought I was asleep, Mom and Dad started. First, they flirted and teased each other. Dad asked if I missed him. I replied, "Who would miss you? It's quiet when you're not home." Dad chuckled, like an old sow in heat trying to root herself in her pen. Mom ignored him. Then there

was the rustling of the blankets, followed by a soft, smacking sound like a cat licking water. Mom then let out a soft lip-slur, "Mating, mating, mating harder" (meaning, isn't that what livestock call mating?). The smacking became faster, and after a while, Mom suddenly let out an uncontrollable sound, as if it were coming from her chest, "Heh~ ah ah, heh~~ ah ah, heh~~ ah ah," several times, like someone grabbing a sensitive spot deep inside her body—

a sound that was both painful and itchy, yet incredibly pleasurable, which she couldn't help but try to hold back, only to suddenly erupt. I knew this was Dad's way of making Mom extremely happy. It seems Dad is pretty good. Actually, at that time, I was also incredibly aroused, like a stub. From then on, whenever Dad came back from a business trip, it was my feast time. Besides paying attention to Mom, I also started to notice what Dad's penis looked like. What kind of magical device could make Mom feel so good? Believe it or not,

once I went to the toilet, Dad needed to pee, so he went in, peeed right away, and even though I'm a boy, he didn't mind me watching him. Dad's penis was really strange; it was whiter than mine (it got darker from masturbation), whiter than his face. When it was soft, it wasn't small, but I wondered how big it would be when it was hard. But whatever size it was, it would work, right?
By the time I was sixteen, my sex drive was extremely strong. Besides masturbation, Mom was practically the biggest temptation. I would

often fantasize about what Mom's expression would be like if we were like that. Could I make Mom feel like she was in heaven, like Dad? Not long after, my fantasies actually became reality.
Dad was home, and Mom prepared a sumptuous dinner. Dad bought over a dozen bottles of beer, and the three of them sat down, enjoying themselves immensely. Dad wasn't driving the next day, so everyone drank freely. After drinking, they were all a little tipsy and went to

bed . Dad and Mom, still slightly drunk, continued their drinking spree before finally falling asleep. Then, in the middle of the night, Dad's phone rang. After answering, he drove off in the middle of the night, apparently on an urgent mission. A while after Dad left, I quietly went to Mom's side. I could smell the strong smell of alcohol on her breath; she was fast asleep. I shone a flashlight on her, and oh my god, Mom's buttocks were bare, and her genitals still had Dad's white semen on them. Trembling, I

pulled off my underwear, used my erect penis to gently move her labia, and then, still wet with Dad's semen, I thrust it inside. I tried to be as quiet as possible, afraid of waking her. Mom was sleeping on her side, so I had to put a pillow under my buttocks to fully insert my penis. Mom's buttocks were much bigger than mine; without the pillow, I couldn't reach her. I thrust for a while, then suddenly felt myself about to ejaculate. I couldn't help but increase the speed and depth of my thrusts, and Mom suddenly groaned.

Startled shuddered and ejaculated.
Mom turned over, lay flat, and went back to sleep, seemingly unaware of what I had done. My courage grew again. I sat for a moment to calm myself, and looking at Mom's body, my penis hardened again. I straddled Mom, and smacking sounds came from below. I figured, "If I'm awake

, I'm awake," and thrust harder. A few minutes later, Mom suddenly cried out, "Hee-ha, hee-ha, hee-ha!" Then she opened her eyes and slapped me hard. I was still reeling from Mom's antics when I was suddenly hit. I knew I'd done something wrong. I mumbled, "Mom, I'm sorry, I couldn't help it. Your body is too alluring when you're drunk." Mom sat up, looked at my erect penis, and said, "Hmm, you little rascal, you're really developing."

"That's good enough," she said earnestly. "Child, I'll keep what happened at home a secret for you, but whatever you do, don't go around messing with other girls. If you dare to, they might kill you. Since things have come to this, I might as well go all the way and teach you how to make love." While my mother was lecturing me, my penis had already gone soft. She gently touched it, and as if it had a mind of its own, it suddenly sprang to life, hard and

erect . Mom said, "Don't rush into it. That's not right. You have to wait until the woman is aroused. Come on, kiss Mom first." Mom sucked on my upper lip a few times, then put her tongue in my mouth and teased it, making me dizzy with excitement. The stimulation of my tongue caused my penis to throb upwards. After a while, Mom said, "Come on, son, nurse." I laid Mom down and leaned over to taste her nipple. I gently bit it, and Mom hummed. Her hands weren't

idle , kneading and squeezing. Mom hummed again, then said, "Okay, Mom's ready." I didn't hesitate... Yu pounced on his mother and thrust inside her. The moment was exquisite, the scene incredibly erotic, so stimulating. Mother and son are inherently connected, and now their bodies are intertwined in mutual acceptance. Waves of intense, indescribable love enveloped their bodies. After a brief collision of love and passion

,
pleasure finally surged forth like a flood, reaching its climax. "
Hee ~ Hee~ ...

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