My Love and Affection with My Mother (Parts 1-3)

This post was last edited by ptc077 on 2019-5-25 07:37.
(Part 1)

I've always wanted to write something, but I've been lazy, and I don't know how others will view it. My writing isn't good, and even
after finishing it, I feel like it's just a stream of consciousness, but it's based on my true experiences. Just take a look.

Let me first introduce my family situation. My father and mother had an arranged marriage, and I remember their relationship was so-so. My father
works in construction, as an employee of a state-owned enterprise. After several restructurings, his current company is a branch of China Railway Construction Corporation, but
I won't mention the specific name.

The characteristic of the construction industry is that you're always away from home, going wherever there's a project, and working there for several years until
the project is completed.

Growing up, I only saw my father a few times a year, but he would usually come back for holidays. Sometimes,
if there were no construction projects, he would stay at home for half a year. My father's biggest concern was that my mother couldn't
control . He was afraid I would go astray and not get into a good school. Every time I came home, if my mother complained or my grades were bad,
I would inevitably get a beating. Therefore, my feelings towards my father were hard to describe. On the one hand, I wanted him to bring me
all sorts of toys and game consoles that other kids didn't have, which were considered luxuries back then. On the other hand, I was afraid of
my mother telling on me every time I came home, so what I hated most was my mother telling on me.

My mother's hometown was in Sichuan, a small town near Chongqing, but they weren't farmers. My parents
worked in another province, far from their hometown. Neither of them worked in their hometown. My mother worked in a garment factory, where all the workers were women.
When I was little, she wasn't strict with me and always took me to work. She had no choice but to take me with her, since my father wasn't home and we had no
relatives in the area to look after me.

My father is rather taciturn and not good with words at home. He doesn't have any effective methods for educating his children, and since he works far away from home for extended periods ,
he can't really discipline them much. He resorts to corporal punishment, and whenever my mother complains, I inevitably get
a beating. Therefore, I'm not exactly happy when my father comes home, not because of the toys and
game consoles . Sometimes I think it would be better if he stayed away from home; I'd be much freer that way.

My mother is petite, not very tall, and quite thin. She inherited the good qualities of Sichuan women—very fair and delicate
skin She's not conventionally beautiful, but definitely pleasing to the eye. My mother loves to dress up and
makes her own clothes using leftover fabric from clothing factories, referencing current trends. She's not the glamorous type and doesn't
wear makeup. She also has the characteristically fiery personality of a Sichuan woman.

I don't have many memories before elementary school. My family was poor then; we rented a small house, what we'd call
a one-bedroom apartment nowadays. I slept in a small bed. My parents' bedroom and the living room were separated by a wall, but there was no door. My
bed was right next to the wall between the living room and the bedroom, with one end extending past the bedroom doorway. To get into the bedroom, you had to walk
past the bed, and from where I was lying, I could see the entire bedroom. That's my childhood memory.

I slept relatively well as a child; I could basically fall asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow, and I couldn't get out of bed unless I was woken up in the morning, especially after
I started school . For a while, my father's company didn't have any projects, so he stayed home for almost a year. One night,
I woke up to find my mother's light on in the middle of the night. In my drowsy state, I saw my parents having sex. At that time, I didn't understand
why my father was moving on top of my mother, or why my mother had so much pubic hair. I instinctively
knew they were having sex, and I was very excited about it for a while. I finally understood how adults had sex. In the end, I didn't
find it very interesting, but I also knew it was a shameful thing that I couldn't tell anyone. After my father's company
started its projects, everything returned to normal.

During that time, I occasionally peeked at my parents having sex a few more times. Once, I saw my father licking my mother's vulva,
which made me very curious. I kept this secret in my heart. These things probably happened when I was in third grade. Children's
sleep is usually very good, and I never saw my parents having sex again after that. Elementary school passed by uneventfully like that
.

Before I knew it, I was in middle school. Before that, around fifth grade, my father's workplace allocated us housing, and
the whole family moved into an apartment building—the top floor, thankfully only four stories high. The entire building was
housing my father's workplace employees lived in; mostly family members. The men worked on construction projects to earn money, while the women stayed home to take care of the children and elderly.
Many of my father's colleagues' wives were full-time housewives. The year we moved into the apartment, my father became a minor supervisor at his workplace.

Our living conditions improved significantly. In my first year of middle school, my grades were excellent, consistently among
the . However, starting in my second year, I made some bad friends. I loved playing basketball, and besides basketball,
I became addicted to video games and started smoking. My grades plummeted, and several home visits from my homeroom teacher resulted in
constant . In short, during that period, I became a stark contrast to the good students.

At this time, I was rebellious. My father wasn't home, and my mother started using corporal punishment, which made my
rebellion even more extreme. I became increasingly unwilling to study, skipping classes with a group of bad friends, playing video games, and even
getting into fights .

When my father came home for vacation, the first thing my mother did was complain to him, and a beating was
inevitable . Of course, when my father was home, I was well-behaved for a while, studying diligently, going to school, taking exams
, and just passing the time.

That's how my bad friends started chasing girls. I wasn't very interested in that; basketball and video games were
much more interesting to me. It wasn't until my third year of junior high that some of my bad friends lost their virginity, showing off every day. I
was curious and asked about the details and feelings. I was a little tempted, but my standards were high.
The girls I liked were all high-achieving and very pretty. After writing a few love letters that disappeared without a trace, I
gave up However, after secretly watching various adult films at my bad friends' house, I gained a direct understanding of sex and remembered
the scenes of my parents having sex that I had seen years ago.

At that time, I was developing very quickly, and because of playing basketball, I was already 1.75 meters tall,
a head taller than my mother. During the summer vacation after my second year of junior high, I can't remember exactly what I was looking for in my mother's bedroom, but I accidentally
found several magazines in an inconspicuous spot in the wardrobe. The cover girls were dressed in various revealing outfits, and the text inside was full of explicit
descriptions. It made my blood boil and my face flush. I secretly took them out to read. Around this time, I had already learned to masturbate
, but the objects of my masturbation were always the cover girls. After that, I started occasionally stealing novels from my mother's bedroom.
Looking around, sometimes I'm so energetic at night that I can't sleep without masturbating.

After the start of the third year of junior high, I suddenly realized that my usual friends all had plans for their futures.
Some had connections and wanted to join the army, some wanted to go to sports schools, and the least desirable one didn't want to go to high school and wanted to go back
to help his family with their business.

At that moment, I suddenly realized that what I should do most was study. I felt like I suddenly understood. I spent
the whole year cramming and barely made it into a top high school in the high school entrance exam.

The last semester was really tough. Every day I got up early to memorize vocabulary and formulas, then there was studying, attending classes, evening self-study, and
doing exercises. My way of relaxing was playing basketball and hiding in the bathroom to read porn and masturbate. During that time, I even took my mother's
underwear, but of course I didn't dare to spray it on.

Another big thing happened in the second semester of junior high: my mother's company underwent restructuring. Everyone in her company was in a state of panic, and
many people faced layoffs. At this time, my mother tried to find connections everywhere to keep her job. During this time, a middle-aged man with a
sleazy often came to our house on weekends to talk to my mother. Subconsciously, I felt this man had ill intentions towards my mother.
He would stay at our house for several hours each time he came, and I would resolutely stay home whenever he was there. My mother was probably
also wary; whenever he came, she would tell me to stay home and study and not wander off.

Later, I learned he was a director in charge of restructuring at my mother's workplace—a lecherous old man who had slept with many
female employees . Before the high school entrance exam, my father came home for about a month. Then, my mother was laid off
and became a full-time housewife. In my father's words, "There needs to be someone at home to take care of me, otherwise I'll be useless."

There was a small incident: my father was promoted, becoming even busier, frequently
traveling . He spent less and less time at home each time he came back. While my mother had complained about my father before,
she never complained like this before, frequently mentioning his various faults in front of me.

During the summer break after graduating from junior high, without the pressure, I hung out with a group of bad friends again. We'd spend all night online,
playing games, and getting to know various pornographic websites. I also read a lot of incest novels. That's when I started paying attention to my
mother. When I masturbated to her underwear and bra, I would fantasize about her private parts, but it would all pass afterward
.

I changed high schools, leaving the county behind and starting boarding school in the city. I was away from my bad friends from junior high and
in a new environment, finding everyone around me a top student. Suddenly, I felt like
I 'd had an epiphany, and a competitive spirit was burning within me. I secretly resolved to get into
a top university. The knowledge I'd missed in junior high made studying quite difficult in my first year of high school, and my grades were only average.
I asked my mother to enroll me in tutoring classes so I wouldn't go home every weekend. My mother personally inquired around the city and
enrolled me in a reputable tutoring center. During my first year of high school, I basically didn't go home except for winter break. It took me a year
to finally catch up to the top of my class.

I had a relationship with my mother during the summer before my second year of high school. My mother had bought out her years of service and left her job. This was partly
due to layoffs at the garment factory, and partly because her health wasn't good. She always said it was because she hadn't
taken good care . Also, the physical labor at the garment factory was extremely strenuous; maintaining one posture for long periods caused her to develop
cervical spondylosis. So, my mother became a housewife at 37. While I was living at school, I found a job selling clothes. When

I came home for summer vacation, my mother quit her job selling clothes. Mainly, selling clothes was too tiring and didn't earn
much money. In her words, she hadn't felt it before because she was home all the time, but after I went to school, she was alone at home
and felt quite lonely. So, she needed to find a job; she couldn't just be idle all the time. During my vacation, she stayed home to take care of me
.

My father came home for a short break, arriving almost at the same time as me, but he only stayed for a week. During that week, one night
I use the bathroom and passed their room. I heard noises coming from inside, and I knew they
were having sex. I went back to my room, masturbated, and then went back to sleep. I remember my mother always being very happy when my father came home, but
this time, as soon as he left, she started complaining to me about how bad he was to my mother and me,
how . I was completely confused.

Not long after my father left, the sweltering summer of that year arrived—the hottest
summer I can remember.

Honestly, during my first year of high school, I missed home terribly, especially my mother. Maybe it was because it was the first time I'd been away from home.
I hadn't felt this way before, but I realize how immature I was in middle school. I couldn't understand how hard my mother had worked to
raise me, and I felt I had let my parents down. Thankfully, I barely made it into a top high school. So,
aside from occasionally seeing my middle school classmates, I hardly went out during the holidays. I spent my days doing homework, running in the mornings,
playing basketball in the afternoons at the court downstairs, and occasionally going grocery shopping with my mother.

Since the entire neighborhood consisted of employee housing provided by my father's workplace, and the market was right at the entrance, the streets were
filled with his colleagues, some I knew and some I didn't. Whenever they saw my mother and me shopping, they'd
chat for a bit. Hearing that I was attending a prestigious high school, they'd all offer a few words of flattery, and I could see
the satisfaction .

Especially some familiar neighbors who knew about my mischievous and troublesome behavior in middle school would sincerely praise
me for growing up and becoming sensible, and would compare me to their own children. At these times, my mother felt proud.
In her words, she had finally achieved something by raising me alone; now all that was left was for me to get into a
good university.

Our house was on the top floor. Back then, houses didn't have insulation; they were all slab-type buildings. In previous years,
with the balcony windows open for ventilation, it wasn't too hot. But that year, it felt like there was almost no wind all summer .
It felt like it was only a little over a week after my father passed away when the sweltering heat arrived. There was no air conditioning then, just
a standing fan. It was unbearably hot. Every day at home, I wore shorts and a tank top, and I had to
take a shower at noon and in the evening before I could sleep. During

that time, my mother also dressed quite lightly at home. Since she worked in the clothing industry and had a sewing machine , she often bought fabric and made her own clothes based on current fashion trends. Many of my childhood clothes were made by my mother. The summer clothes my mother made for home that summer—well, they were sleeveless tops with low necklines and wide armpit openings—often resulted in accidental glimpses of her skin showing at home.

Sometimes, I would intentionally or unintentionally peek at my mother's private parts, and I would often have a strong arousal, which
would make me want to cover myself. I would also need to masturbate online before I could fall asleep. Normally,
nothing would happen if I just continued like this, even though I was influenced by incest novels. But it was just peeping at my mother and
fantasizing about her while masturbating; I never really thought anything would happen between us.

There's a basketball court downstairs in our building, and I usually go down to play basketball every evening after dinner. That day, there was a game on the
court and I could watch it from the balcony – a perfect opportunity. The game started at 7 PM; it was
a match between support departments. The building has an old-fashioned design, and the bathroom is on the balcony. After dinner, I would take a shower and wait
on the balcony to watch the game. In the summer, it doesn't get completely dark until about 8:30 PM. My mother likes to grow flowers, and she has several potted plants on an outdoor trellis on
the balcony My mother isn't very tall, less than 165 cm, and sometimes she
can't reach the plants, so she has a wooden platform on the balcony to help her manage them.

While waiting for the game to start, my mother went to take a shower. About halfway through the game, I heard her call me;
she had forgotten her towel.

As I brought her the towel, my heart pounded. My mind was filled with the thought of seeing her
naked. The bathroom door was only slightly ajar, and as I handed her the towel, I mentally rehearsed countless
excuses. I boldly opened the door about a third of the way, and as I handed her the towel, I also stuck my head into the bathroom.
Contrary to my expectations, my mother was turned to the side. Because of her long hair, she was washing it with her head down, her
snow-white body and swaying breasts were clearly visible. At that moment, I stared at her, forgetting everything
else , losing all sense of time. I only hurriedly closed the door when she was about to turn off the water. Looking back
, I think I stared at her body for about 20 or 30 seconds. Back on the balcony, my heart
was pounding , and my penis was erect, refusing to subside.

It was getting dark when my mother came out. The room was still quite warm after her shower, but the balcony was a bit
cooler. While my mother waited for her hair to dry naturally, we watched the game downstairs together.

My mother had changed into a silk slip dress, which my father must have brought back. It was the first time
I had seen my mother wear this dress. My eyes were fixed on the game below, and my mind was filled with thoughts of my mother's naked body.
We talked to each other on the balcony, mostly her asking questions and me answering. I can't remember what we talked about
now .

Near the end of the game, my mother stood on the wooden platform where she waters the plants and asked me to massage her shoulders. After a few massages, I realized
it she leaned on the balcony, watching the game, and asked me to explain
the rules of basketball to her while I massaged her shoulders.

At this point, I was standing behind my mother, and her buttocks were right in front of me. The silk slip dress was very
form-fitting, and looking at my mother's curves, I suddenly realized that she was
n't . I felt a burning sensation in my mouth, and my erection was quite high. Luckily, I was behind my mother, and the lights weren't on
, so she couldn't see me.

Later I found out that when I wasn't home, my mother was home alone,
so I usually dressed like that after showering, and I was used to it. When I came home for vacation, my mother didn't pay much attention.

Having been exposed to all sorts of erotic books, although I knew that incest was not accepted or recognized by the world,
I never thought that having a relationship with my own mother was any bad thing. While massaging my mother's shoulders
, my penis accidentally caught sight of her buttocks. Although I immediately pulled away, I noticed that my mother didn't make any move or indication. So I slowly and
tentatively pressed against her buttocks. Because I was wearing loose shorts, I could clearly feel
my penis pressing between my mother's buttocks.

Neither my mother nor I spoke. My hand moved from rubbing her shoulders to caressing hers. My heart pounded
; I felt excited and thrilled. Peeking under her armpit, I saw her breasts drooping,
the nipples hidden. The opening under her nightgown was wide, and almost without thinking, I reached out and grasped her breast. I don't know
where I got the courage; I just reached in naked from the side of her nightgown and grabbed it. The only
feeling how soft and comfortable it was.

Then my mother said, "You're still the same as when you were a child." Without thinking, I asked, "What was I like when I
was a child ?"

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