An Lan's Confession (From Lady to Slut)

(I)

My name is Anlan, and I'm recording my past on the answering machine. Tomorrow, I will enter the wedding
hall and become a happy bride.

Twenty-nine years ago, when I was born, my father let out a soft "Eh!" because I was
a girl.

When I was little, I snuggled in my mother's arms all day long, and she would hold me tightly and kiss me; I was her
little darling. I rarely saw my father, but I knew he didn't love me very much because I was a girl.

But my mother said that my father was away because he was very busy. He had to fly all over the world to do business and earn money. My
pretty clothes, my red apples, my dolls—all of them were bought with the money my father earned. But I didn't believe it
; I still felt that my father didn't love me.

Finally, one day, I felt that my father loved me. Although he still rarely came home, as soon as he did, he would immediately
hug me and play with me. I was very happy; my father loved me. He also bought a new, beautiful car, and we moved
into a big, beautiful new house. My mother said that my father's business was extremely successful; he had earned a lot of money.

Later, I learned that a fortune teller had predicted my fate back then. He said I had a good destiny, that I would bring good fortune to my father, and that I would
also bring good fortune to my husband and children.

Tomorrow, I will have a husband. I really hope that I can truly bring him good fortune!

When I was little, I was very happy. I was a little princess. I was with my mother every day. She
took me everywhere to play, and I couldn't sleep without her comforting me.

But one day, my mother was suddenly gone. My father said that my mother had died in childbirth, but in return, I had a
little brother.

I didn't want my little brother; I wanted my mother. I cried all day long, I wanted my mother.

But my father was very happy. He smiled at my little brother all day long. He said that my little brother was his lifeline, and
he named him A'gen.

But I didn't want my lifeline; I wanted my mother.

My father said that I had grown up and it was time to repay my mother. My mother had given her life
to leave behind a little brother, so I should love my little brother as much as my mother loved me.

But I still wanted my mother. That year, I was seven years old.

Mom never showed up again, and Dad, like before, was flying all over the world.

Besides my little brother and me, the only other people in the house were often Aunt Ling, the maid.

Without Mom to play with, I spent my days playing with my little brother. I thought, Mom must have become my little brother.
Before, there were three people in the house: Dad, Mom, and me; now there are still three: Dad, my brother, and me.
So, Mom has become my brother.

Dad was right; I should love my brother just like Mom loved me.

So, every day, besides going to school, I played with my brother, made him laugh, teased him, fed him milk, and
held him to sleep. I should love my brother just like Mom loved me.

Dad was still rarely home. He once brought an uncle to introduce me, saying he was Dad's lawyer, and that I
could ask Uncle Chen for help if I needed anything. I didn't know what that meant; I just knew that Uncle Chen was really
ugly!

But one day, Uncle Chen really did bring several people dressed in black to the house, doing some
strange things. From that day on, I never saw my father again. Uncle Chen said he died; his paper airplane
crashed headfirst into the ground, and so he died.

I was puzzled. My paper airplanes also kept crashing headfirst into the ground, but why didn't I die? I asked Uncle Chen, "
What about the little brother Dad got in return? Mom died and got a little brother in return, will Dad get a little sister in return
?"

Uncle Chen told me that Dad didn't get a brother or sister in return, but a small notebook and a small
card. I could take the notebook or the card to the bank and withdraw money, as much as I wanted. That money was Dad
's, but now it belonged to me and my brother. Now everything wasn't Dad's; it was all mine! Even my brother
was mine!

That year, I was nine years old and began living independently.
Aunt Ling was still taking care of my brother and me.

Aunt Ling told me that I should give her ten thousand yuan every month. I agreed. Now, besides my brother, my closest relatives
were Aunt Ling. I felt that she was also part of our family, even though I knew that Dad used to
give her three thousand yuan.

But Aunt Ling finally disappeared when I was twelve years old. She left me nothing, taking
all the valuable jewelry and cash from the house.

I was heartbroken; I trusted her so much, yet she betrayed me!

I no longer trust anyone; I hate Aunt Ling. I can't bear to be betrayed again, so I asked my classmate Xiaoli's
mother to help take care of my younger brother, because I wasn't worried about her betraying me.

Not long ago, I ran into Aunt Ling on the street again. She had aged considerably and was scavenging for trash on the roadside.

She didn't recognize me, and I didn't want to recognize her either. Looking back, she
had shown a lot of conscience by not selling my brother and me back then; I no longer blamed her.

After that, I continued with my life. I had a lot of money, and I discovered that money was a wonderful thing
. With it, I was no longer afraid of having no one to play with. So I made many, many friends. They all used my
money, but they all revolved around me all day, trying their best to make me happy.

I liked people revolving around me and making me happy. I divided my friends into several levels; the closer they were to me,
the more money I gave them.

When I was fifteen, I discovered a new way to use money. I opened a video game arcade and
devoted all my free time there. I didn't enjoy playing games, but I loved seeing people so engrossed and absorbed in
them—they were captivated because of me! Thinking about that always filled me with satisfaction.

With the arcade, I made even more friends. The local thugs, big and small, would often hang out there,
supposedly because of the young, beautiful owner. Regardless, my circle of friends really grew; I guess
it's at least several hundred now, but my excellent memory allows me to remember all their nicknames and names.

Everyone calls me Sister Lan, even though many of them are older than me. I really like that nickname; it's like…
I was transported back to my childhood, to the pampered, doting family. They treated me like royalty because I
was rich , and they all obeyed me.

As a result, my arcade was incredibly successful, always packed, day and night.

My "underlings" multiplied, all obeying my every command. I became the local tyrant, the
boss of all the petty thugs.

But some people were resentful. The old man next door always disliked me because I was practically stealing all his arcade business
. It's true, who would you prefer
to face: ?

The old man came up with a terrible idea: he hired a whole class of elementary school students to take turns
occupying seats in my arcade early in the morning, then scatter at night. I could catch one, but not the next, and my
entire day 's business was ruined. My regular customers were all squeezed into the old man's arcade that day.

But the old man's triumph lasted less than a day. He angered me; I, Anlan, am no pushover.

That night, a dozen thugs broke into his house, and the next day, the old man was bruised and battered, forced to close his business
. From then on, the old man never had a moment's peace. Since he started the trouble, I wasn't going to hold back; if it was a fight,
let's see who wins!

Of course, I won. After a chaotic and stressful time, the old man was forced to sell his arcade to
me for a pittance and leave the neighborhood where he had lived for decades.

That year, at seventeen, I completed my first business takeover.

The feeling of the takeover was wonderful. My business continued to grow, and now, even without my father's inheritance,
I could live comfortably. However, I didn't live alone; I
also had support a large group of loyal brothers.

At that time, my ideal was to take over all the arcades in the city and become the undisputed
queen of the arcades.

But the reign of the tyrant didn't last long. As my power expanded rapidly, it infringed on
the interests of Da Qiang from the next block, and from then on, my struggle with Da Qiang never stopped, until I met him.

Every few days, Daqiang would send people to harass my arcade, sometimes wielding guns and clubs,
yelling and threatening to sell me to a brothel for thousands to have sex with. My brothers weren't exactly easy to
deal with either; they were always causing trouble in his territory, and the two sides would have a brawl five or six times a month on average.

I never participated in the fights because I didn't need to. I had plenty of tough guys under my command; I was only responsible
for directing and planning. In fact, that idiot Daqiang was no match for me in terms of cunning; I often outsmarted him
. However, his power was considerable, and I hadn't found a way to completely defeat him.

Days passed by in a mix of fighting, eating, and drinking. Later, I graduated from high school, giving up
the opportunity to go to university to manage my arcades and take care of my brothers.

Some brothers once suggested that we should name ourselves a gang and have me as the leader.

But I disagreed; there was no need for such a rabble to attract the attention of the police.

Anyway, I was their de facto leader. At that time, I already owned over a dozen arcades,
and the business there was enough to cover the expenses of my brothers. I was living a very comfortable life, and I dreamed
of one day swallowing up Daqiang, which would at least double my power.

My dream remained to become the arcade queen of the city.

But dreams always come to an end. One day, news that changed my fate arrived.

A large corporation was going to build a skyscraper in my neighborhood, and my entire headquarters—my home—
along with more than 70% of my arcades, were slated for demolition.

At the time, I thought it was devastating news. But now, I'm grateful for the
wise decision of the person who chose this location.

I faced the negotiations with the corporation's representatives with extreme dejection. I knew that my
small kingdom, which I had painstakingly built up over so many years, was about to perish, and my dream of becoming the arcade queen was about to end. That
was a powerful corporation with resources I couldn't possibly compete with. If they were determined to carry out
their plan to build that building, I would be no match for them.

Although I could get a huge compensation, money wasn't what I needed. What I needed was my little kingdom,
my brothers, my dreams.

I couldn't let it all disappear; I had to protect my brothers, my arcade, my ideals.

I knew I was pretty; everyone I'd met said so. I was proud, and I knew it was
my asset. So I decided to seduce the representative of the large corporation, who was supposedly a very influential
figure within the group. Perhaps this would be my only chance.

That year, I was nineteen.

(II)

I wasn't afraid of anything, even though I was still a virgin.

I understood sex; from time to time, my brothers would bring girls to my territory to mess around. I saw it all,
but I didn't say anything. As long as they were loyal to me, they could do whatever they wanted; I would never interfere
.

Over the years, people—enemies, brothers, even strangers—had been gossiping about me.
I knew they wanted to sleep with me, but they weren't good enough. I don't care about chastity; in fact, I don't really understand the specific meaning of that word
. No one has ever taught me.

But I won't allow them to violate me. They have no right to conquer me, absolutely not!

Or, those who can decide my ideals deserve something precious to me.

If it can help me continue my ideals, this deal is worthwhile.

But when I met the representative sent by the large corporation, my eyes lit up. I had seen that young man before
; he had saved me.

During a fight with Daqiang, a thug wielding a knife was ambushed by this man's
two who grabbed him from behind and threw him away. I thought, if it weren't for his timely appearance, my beautiful body
would be forever scarred.

I was grateful to him, but I never expected that when I met him again, it would be him representing his corporation to destroy my dream.
When I think about it,

I still remember what he said to me when I thanked him after he saved me. He said he saved me because
I'm a beautiful woman, and a beautiful woman injured should be in bed, not on the street.

I remembered his words, and I remembered him as a person. I felt I should have been angry at his words
; I wouldn't be polite to anyone who offended me like that. But facing him, facing his blatant
flirting, I suddenly felt a strange sense of guilt. I didn't get angry; instead, I felt a sweet
feeling in my heart. It's strange.

Yes, guilt. The confidence and swagger I usually have when facing my brothers vanished in an instant.

Looking into his smiling eyes, which seemed to radiate a captivating light,
I even felt a little inferior in the face of those charming eyes. I don't understand why this is. I thought about those eyes for many days, and
finally, I realized what they were.

Like the eyes of an emperor, exuding an irresistible domineering aura, making one involuntarily submit to his respect.

I suddenly realized I was completely captivated by him, the very moment I saw him again. He was impeccably dressed,
tall and handsome, with a constant, charming smile. He gave me a kind yet irresistibly focused gaze, and
he nodded slightly.

I was captivated, so quickly, so suddenly. For nineteen years, I had
lived my life centered around myself. I had no friends, truly no friends. Although I wasn't highly educated, I knew
my so-called friends weren't my true friends. Aside from my parents, whose memories were hazy, and my immature
younger brother, I didn't seem to have ever truly been kind to anyone.

But now, I was deeply infatuated with him. I found my heart pounding, my
limbs trembling, and my eyes glued to him.

And so, I stared at him, from beginning to end. I just stared at him. I knew his voice was loud and clear, his
pronunciation steady and accurate. His eyes scanned everyone present as he spoke. His 4/6 parted
hairstyle was very handsome. After speaking for twenty-three minutes, two beads of sweat began to appear on his forehead.
The compensation terms he presented were reasonable, their construction plans grand, but I didn't care. I didn't lack money; what I needed
was my own space.

I listened quietly, admiring his every smile and gesture.

He made eye contact with me five times! Three of those times, we nodded and smiled simultaneously! And
every time we met his gaze, I unconsciously lowered my head, as if afraid to meet his seemingly
electrifying eyes.

His name was Li Guanxiong. Li as in "wooden sapling," Guan as in "champion," Xiong as in "hero"—what a grand name!

I wondered if he had a girlfriend? Like an ordinary girl, I kept pondering this thought.

In fact, at that moment, I was just an ordinary girl. Finally, it was over. He smiled and gave his closing remarks, saying that this was a project

beneficial to everyone and he hoped for everyone's support. 　　After nearly an hour of speaking, I had finally heard those words. For my mission, for my dream, I had to take action. 　　I struck the most graceful pose I could muster and slowly walked towards him, who was still smiling as he headed towards the door. I called him Mr. Li. 　　He, too, maintained his smile, nodded at me, and stopped. 　　Suddenly, I felt a wave of timidity, a feeling I had never experienced before, and the words I was about to utter stuck in my throat . 　　"Is there a problem, Miss An?" he said with a smile. His smile was so gentle, so captivating, so heart-pounding. 　　I took a breath, tilted my head back, and met his even more captivating smile with what I felt was my most charming one . I said generously, "Mr. Li, would you do me the honor of inviting me to dinner tonight?" 　　To my pride, he immediately accepted my invitation. It seems my charm is still quite good, even though I 've never doubted it. 　　"How could I refuse such a beautiful lady's invitation? What time tonight?" Although my tone was a bit slick, this was exactly what I wanted to hear. Besides, successfully inviting her meant I had already succeeded in the first step. 　　For this banquet that concerned my ideals and destiny, I wore a beautiful low-cut evening gown for the first time, styled my hair beautifully, and wore exquisite jewelry. I arrived at the most upscale café in the city , in a beautiful private room, waiting for the male protagonist to appear. 　　For the first time, I sprayed myself with fragrant perfume, wore brightly colored lipstick, and drew thick eyebrows. Before this day, I was just the leader of a small gang of thugs, or rather, a minor female bandit leader. I never needed to wear makeup before; I had almost never even tried to dress up. But after this day, everything changed completely. 　　I knew my purpose tonight: to seduce Li Guanxiong. Since I was prepared to sell my body, I didn't care how sexy I dressed. I spent nearly a hundred thousand-yuan bills at the beauty salon, trying to sell my body to a man… but at that moment, I didn’t feel ashamed at all. 　　Or perhaps, it was because he was the man! 　　He arrived, dressed in such an elegant outfit. He wore a professional smile and looked so mature and composed, even though he was only around thirty years old. But for a young girl just beginning to experience love, falling for such a man was like being under a love spell, unable to extricate herself, sinking deeper and deeper. 　　He looked at my attire with a slightly curious gaze, as if pondering something. 　　And I, already feeling very uncomfortable dressed so formally for the first time, shifted my position anxiously under . 　　“You’re dressed like this… you really don’t look like a boss with a hundred or two hundred subordinates!” he said first. 　　“Oh… Mr. Li, how could I be so rude?” I tried my best to remain . It's strange. I'm usually so calm and collected in everything I do, so why am I suddenly flustered when I'm facing this person? No, I have to maintain my composure!

I calmed myself down, brushed my hair aside, and met his gaze with a smile.

"You want to seduce me?" His directness startled me .

"What...what...are you kidding?" I knew my face instantly burned bright red
. My eyes met his half-smiling, half-frowning eyes, and I averted them, nervously rubbing
my knees together, but I couldn't help but maintain an elegant facade, even though I knew my flushed face was impossible
to hide.

He chuckled, crossed his legs, pulled a cigar from his pocket, lit it, and said nothing more, just
scrutinizing me from head to toe and then from toe to head. Was he considering whether my body was worth his time? The thought made me so ashamed I wanted to disappear into a hole in the ground. I pinched my thigh
hard under the tablecloth— ouch! 　　"Hey, have you ordered?" he suddenly asked, but didn't get to the point, which made me incredibly itchy. 　　But this also temporarily relieved my embarrassment. I hurriedly said, "Yes...yes! 　　I'm just afraid Mr. Li won't like it." 　　"How could he not?" he laughed heartily, "With a beautiful woman accompanying the delicious food, how could he not like it? Haha!" 　　So, I quickly called the waiter to bring the food. In this elegantly decorated private room, I awkwardly and hurriedly ate my steak, while he, with a constant smile on his face, kept staring at my face. 　　I noticed that his expression was becoming increasingly lecherous. 　　"What did this steak do to you? Why are you sawing it so hard?" he teased me every now and then, making me feel excited, nervous, and inexplicably embarrassed. The poor steak in front of me, after less than half of it, had already been sawed into more than a dozen small pieces, neatly arranged in the center of the plate. 　　"It's okay, I like eating like this!" I simply looked up, smiled at him, picked up a small piece of steak with my fork, struck a pose I'd been planning, and elegantly and slowly put it into my mouth. 　　But he just smiled faintly, noncommittal. 　　So we continued eating. He was unhurried, but I felt like I was sitting on pins and needles. 　　"I'm finished, what about you?" He gently put down his knife and fork, picked up a napkin and wiped his mouth lightly, clasped his hands together on the table, and looked at me with a smile. 　　"I'm finished too!" Although I hadn't actually finished eating, I had to pretend I was. 　　"Then let's begin!" He stood up and moved next to me. 　　"Begin what?" I was a little nervous. 　　"Didn't you want to seduce me? Come on!" This guy didn't care about my feelings at all, suddenly wrapped his arms around my waist, and pressed his lips directly against mine. 　　"No..." My heart was pounding, his directness and flirtatiousness were completely unexpected, and my body went weak. But if I let him take advantage of me like this, it would be incredibly embarrassing. I jerked my feet up and said, "What do you mean by this?" 　　"Oh! I thought you were trying to seduce me? Turns out I misunderstood. I'm so sorry, thank you for dinner, goodbye!" He didn't say anything more and got up to leave. 　　"Hey! Mr. Li..." I panicked and stamped my foot. If the meeting ended like this, my night would be a complete failure. Besides, my dream... would be completely ruined. 　　"Is there anything else, Miss An?" He gave a sly smile and shrugged. Years later, I asked him about that night again, and he laughed heartily. He said that I was really attractive to him back then, and he had been testing my reactions, teasing me and enjoying it. 　　"You...you shouldn't go so far..." I shouted, my blood rushing to my head. In my desperation, I actually yelled at him! But as soon as I finished yelling, I immediately lowered my head guiltily. Suddenly, I wanted to slap myself hard . 　　How could I have done that to him? How could I? 　　Was it because I was afraid of offending him? Or because I had blasphemed my own god? At that moment, I didn't know; I only knew that my mind was in turmoil. Later, he told me that he just wanted to tease me, to make me completely surrender . But at that moment, I was like an idiot; the devil had borrowed all my thinking ability in that private room. 　　"So what do you want me to do?" He didn't seem angry at all; instead, he smiled and walked over. 　　The smile on his face seemed a little strange, and I reflexively took a step back. 　　"You don't want me to leave, do you?" He walked straight up to me, bent his index finger, and hooked my chin. 　　My heart was pounding wildly. He... his face was facing me, just fifty centimeters away from my eyes! No, or maybe only forty centimeters! 　　I knew my face was already red, uncontrollably red, uncontrollably red. The slight warmth emanating from his fingers seemed to melt my body, slowly melting. 　　I tried to stay calm; I wasn't some delicate girl who would succumb to temptation at the sight of a man I liked! I tried! I tried even harder! 　　But I still couldn't find the strength, or perhaps I hadn't even tried to find the strength. I seemed to have a vague feeling that I didn't actually mind being taken advantage of by him; I was actually quite happy. I told myself that I was almost there for my purpose! But was I only refraining from resisting for this purpose? I didn't ask myself that question again. 　　"Tell me not to leave!" His smile grew even more sinister as he spoke softly. 　　"I..." I gasped, desperately telling myself I couldn't say that, that he would look down on me, that he would see me as a frivolous girl. Gasping for breath, I gave in , lowering my eyes. 　　Even today, I still can't understand why I acted that way that day. Except for that day, I never seemed like a weak, helpless woman. 　　But on that day, I defeated myself. 　　(III) 　　He gently put his arm around my shoulder, and I didn't struggle. 　　He gently touched my face, and I didn't struggle either. 　　Then his hand moved to my neck and gently continued to stroke downwards, and I still didn't struggle. 　　At that moment, my mind went blank, and I still can't describe that feeling—was it ecstasy?

Still overwhelmed with grief. I simply closed my eyes, savoring the warmth emanating from his palm.

His hand slowly slid inside my beautiful low-cut evening gown, slipping into the
red bra I had carefully chosen. He gently rubbed the tender flesh of my breasts, his palm lightly brushing against my nipples, and
in a shiver, his hand cupped my entire right breast inside my clothes.

So warm, so comfortable! I even forgot that I should have negotiated terms with him before he touched me; I let him
take me right away. My heart trembled, my body went limp, I had never felt anything like this before.
He was the first man to touch my breasts.

"Your breasts are very nice! Big and bouncy!" he whispered in my ear.

"Mmm..." I could imagine how red my face had become, my ears burning so hot I felt dizzy.
I couldn't respond to his words; I just buried my head in his chest.

Wasn't I here to seduce him? Wasn't my purpose tonight to offer him my virginity
? My wish had come true. The slight thought of resistance born of shame was immediately
suppressed by my "reason."

He began to undress me, sweeping the food off the table and letting the gravy and shards of porcelain
splatter on the carpet. He made me lie flat on the floor and began to remove my clothes.

He unbuttoned the back of my dress, pulling it down from my shoulders to my stomach.

I closed my eyes, hugged my arms, and breathed softly with shame. At that moment, my heart was pounding. I

felt a little scared. I had completely surrendered myself to a man I didn't really know, letting him do as he pleased
.

Or perhaps I felt a little excited. But I knew it wasn't just "a little," it was "completely" exciting.

Offering one's beautiful body to the man one loves is something that often appears in every girl's dreams, and
today I had achieved it!

Shame was inevitable. At that time, I was still a virgin, and a
virgin who had always been bossy towards others; I had never relinquished my right to make decisions before. But now, my entire body was completely at someone else's
mercy.

I suddenly felt the air conditioning in the private room was a bit too strong. I didn't understand
how such a ridiculous thought could pop into my head at such an important moment. But I did feel a little cold.

He took off my bra, placed his hands on my breasts, and began to gently knead them.

I started to breathe softly. The feeling was like it was melting me completely; I felt
every cell in my body was restless, dancing wildly. And I
felt as if I were comfortably swaying in warm water.

So comfortable! I seemed to have forgotten my mission, everything about myself. I knew I shouldn't
show my feelings like this in front of a man, but I couldn't help it.

When his fingers pinched my nipples and gently tickled them, my body involuntarily trembled, and
I let out a scream. I felt as if an electric current had pierced my body, and my whole body seemed to
have been launched into the clouds.

Then he continued to caress my breasts, and I continued to scream.

Or perhaps his actions weren't caresses. I can't describe his actions, at least not at the time;

his teasing—or perhaps teasing is a more fitting word—

pushed me back into wave after wave of excitement before I could even catch my breath. My breasts in his hands,
like a skillfully wielded tool, precisely directed my feelings, directed
the desires of a virgin whose heart had just been awakened.

"You're so sensitive!" he smiled at me. Years later, he told me that my sensitivity at the time
far exceeded his expectations. He said that although he was confident in his ability to manipulate a virgin,
he was initially somewhat incredulous at how easily and cooperatively I had let him have his way with me. He concluded that
I was a complete slut!

Now, in front of him, I didn't mind playing the role of a slut. But at the time, my mind couldn't
hold anything more, even though deep down I knew I shouldn't act so wanton.

But I still kept screaming. After he mocked my sensitivity, I cried out even more enthusiastically.

Afterwards, he said it was precisely this behavior that excited him, filled him with a sense of conquest, and made him
feel a strong attraction to me.

I only knew that my body was completely limp, and I clearly felt
a cool, wet sensation between my legs. When his tongue touched my nipple, I suddenly screamed, sat
bolt upright , and tightly hugged his neck, pressing my breasts completely against his face.

Then, my body trembled violently, and a surge of heat seemed to rush out between my legs.

At the time, I didn't know what was happening; I only knew I was incredibly excited. And this ridiculous action
, for many years afterward, was used by him to mock me, as
proof that I was an absolute harlot.

But this harlot, I, will always belong to him. Even now, my body has been enjoyed by more than just him,
but everything about me, including my wantonness, will always belong to him. Only he was worthy to witness my
lewdness, to enjoy my lewdness. Only him!

And after I made that move that startled him, I found my mood seemed much calmer.
I squinted slightly, looking at him shyly, and he seized the opportunity to give me a kiss.

My first kiss!

I kissed him passionately, thinking then, I was already his, I was clearly his!

He effortlessly stripped off my clothes, then, with lustful eyes, looked at my naked
body while undressing himself.

I shyly squeezed my legs together, crossed my arms over my chest, and looked at him timidly. I thought, this moment should
be sweet. My body was about to be offered to him, but I still felt a little shy.

But, I was ready.

He revealed his manhood. How magnificent! That was my first feeling. I had seen such things before.

He said, "Come on, take it in your mouth," and pressed my head against his crotch.

Without hesitation, like an obedient child, I parted my lips and took it into my mouth. He told me to lick gently, to suck

gently, to lick from top to bottom, to carefully lick the round
head and the dark scrotum below.

I licked gently, sucked gently, from top to bottom, carefully licking the round head and
the dark scrotum below.

It smelled a little stinky, but I found it quite enjoyable and fun. With my diligent caresses,
it actually started to grow a little bigger and began to throb gently. I thought this must mean he was comfortable
.

I made him feel good! I felt a sense of pride.

Some say that women immersed in love are foolish; they forget their dignity and their self.

Yes, maybe so, but it's so joyful, this feeling is so blissful, who cares about dignity?

I sucked on his penis with smacking sounds, delighted to see it grow stronger with my efforts.
With his penis in my mouth, I looked at him; he gently stroked my hair, a smile of approval on his face. I was so excited
.

He caressed my breasts, touching and rubbing them forcefully. It seemed a little painful, but incredibly
arousing. My body trembled and twisted slightly.

His hand moved down, reaching my most intimate place. His fingers touched my labia,
slowly kneading them. It was a strange, very strange feeling; I suddenly felt shy, yet my body
trembled even more rapidly. I felt as if all the blood was rushing to my head, my mind buzzing. This feeling
was so peculiar; my body suddenly went limp.

I cried out loudly, my open mouth too weak to caress that lovely thing anymore; my hands grabbed
my breasts, kneading them forcefully. When he placed his other hand on my chest, I grabbed it tightly
, pressing it against my breast and squeezing it hard.

"You're so cute..." he said. Perhaps my reaction filled him with a sense of conquest; his penis was already
erect, and he gently parted my legs.

"Oh..." I moaned, knowing the moment was approaching. My heart was filled with excitement,
thrill, and fear.

He penetrated me. My groin was full of my own juices, and he entered easily.

I'd always heard that a woman's first time was painful, but that's a lie. I didn't feel any pain; endless
pleasure completely overwhelmed me. The moment my hymen was broken, I reached orgasm prematurely.

His penis was powerful—oh, or perhaps that's not the right word, but
that's what I truly felt at the time. His thrusts were rhythmic, easily eliciting wave after wave of screams from me.

He said, "Your moans are really powerful!" and then thrust his penis deep into my vagina once more.

He made me feel so good, and once again, more completely, I was utterly conquered by him. I knew I was hopelessly
in love with him, I knew I would belong to him forever, and in my heart, he would always be the irreplaceable
one and only.

He suddenly smiled and said, "You were screaming so loudly, everyone outside must have heard you. What do you think we should
do?"

I suddenly realized that this was a public place, and a wave of worry washed over me. My expression calmed down a little,
but my body tensed. Then, he ejaculated. He later said that
the feeling of conquering me, having me completely under his control, excited him so much that he ejaculated prematurely.

In fact, the soundproofing of this restaurant surprised me. To this day, I still can't believe that my
frantic screams didn't carry outside at all. But when I came out of the private room, I
didn't see even the slightest strange look.

Exhausted, I lay naked on the table, and even after he left, I still didn't have the strength to get up
. After receiving a deep kiss from him, I happily watched him leave.

I could clearly feel the still-hot flow, the heat emanating from him, still slowly flowing from my lower body
. My heart pounded, the sweet pleasure still pounding in my brain.

My first time was lost on a table in a private room of a high-class coffee shop. That year, I was nineteen.

(IV)

I had experienced the feeling of being lost and disoriented before, but that was a long time ago. In
the , I lived like a soulless goose for several months. However, back then I was a little girl,
now I'm a young woman!

But even a young woman can be lost and disoriented. In the days after giving my precious virginity to the man I admired,
I felt as if something was always covering my heart, making me feel very uncomfortable.

Especially since he hadn't contacted me for several days.

The days of waiting were painful, but fortunately, Daqiang seemed to know that my kingdom was about to be dismantled, and
he hadn't come to cause trouble these past few days. The group's staff worked as usual, measuring, planning, and going door-to-door
to discuss compensation. Their plan was in full swing, and my little kingdom was getting closer to collapse every day. But there was still no news from him. Since that day, he seemed to have disappeared

from this land for four or five days . 　　Did he deceive my body and then irresponsibly abandon me? 　　But he didn't deceive me; I came to him myself. He only agreed to have dinner with me; he 　　didn't promise me anything else... 　　I originally thought that after we had that kind of relationship, he would come to see me often, like those young boys I usually see. That way, I could slowly make demands of him, 　　but... 　　I can't wait any longer. Waiting in vain will only make me anxious and restless; waiting in vain will only lead to losing him! 　　I decided to go find him. 　　The night before I decided to go find him, I couldn't sleep. 　　Perhaps because of excitement, I was extremely agitated all night, just like before I invited him to dinner a few days ago .

I tossed and turned in bed, my mind filled with his image—his every smile, every word
, his penis deep inside me…

My face flushed crimson; I knew I was hopeless, I knew I had abandoned my little kingdom
. I went to see him because I missed him so much.

Like last time, I went to the salon, got a beautiful haircut, dressed myself up, and then
knocked on his office door.

I experienced the arrogance of a big company. The receptionist gave me a suggestive look, arrogantly
asking my name, occupation, and purpose of visit, rudely asking if I had an appointment, and then saying that Mr. Li was very busy and
had no time to see someone like me.

Of course, I wouldn't stand for it! I'd gone to all this trouble, and before I even saw him, I was being kicked out by this lowly employee
? What a joke! But before I could even argue, that bitch actually called security, intending to throw me
out!

"You dare touch me?!" I roared at the security guard who was trying to grab me, glaring at him. "I'm Li Guanxiong
's girlfriend!"

Everyone laughed, a bright, cheerful laugh. But I knew they were laughing at me; they didn't believe me.
But I had already slept with Li Guanxiong. He was so good to me, so gentle. Of course I was his girlfriend
, what was so funny?

But they ignored me. The two strong security guards grabbed my arms and dragged me away.
I struggled fiercely, and seeing one of them momentarily distracted, I stomped on his foot
, immediately freeing my arm. I then slapped the other man across the face.

"I said, don't touch me! I'm Li Guanxiong's girlfriend!" I glared fiercely at them and
walked straight back to the reception desk.

The two security guards exchanged glances, probably intimidated by my stance, and simply followed me, no longer daring
to recklessly try to grab me.

I walked to the counter, slammed my hand on the table with a "bang," and yelled at that bitch, "I want to see Li
Guanxiong, do you hear me?"

"Well... wait a moment..." That bitch seemed to be a bully who preyed on the weak; seeing I was serious,
her tone softened considerably. "Is this Miss An? I'll pass on the message for you."

She picked up the phone.

"Yes, Miss An? Mr. Li requests your presence in room 305. I'll have security escort you there!"
Hearing that Li Guanxiong wanted to see me, that bitch immediately started smiling and flattering me.

Of course, I ignored her, glared at her, waved to the two security guards who approached, and walked up
the stairs with my head held high. Behind me, that bitch was still muttering something to the two guards—what a bunch of bastards!

When I saw him, his attitude was very amiable; he smiled and invited me to sit down, ordering his men to bring tea.

"Mr. Li..." I was a little nervous. To be honest, I always felt a little nervous around him.

"You said you're my girlfriend?" He smiled and lit a cigarette.

"Yes, isn't that right?" I answered firmly. Looking back now, I find it really
funny. Even if I had never experienced anything between men and women, after being in the underworld for so long, there was no reason to be
so naive. If sleeping with a man like Li Guanxiong made someone his girlfriend, then he
must have had far too many girlfriends.

But at that time, I stubbornly and hopelessly believed that I was his girlfriend.
Maybe I was so obsessed with being his girlfriend that I lost my mind. Although I feel a little embarrassed, I don't even think
it's funny.

He didn't refute me, but smiled and invited me to have some tea. Later, he told me that he liked my seemingly
silly yet fierce demeanor. Regarding the silliness that has completely disappeared from me now, he joked
that it was an irreparable regret. When I heard this, I didn't know whether to be angry or amused. At that time, I
was just a country girl from a gang of thugs; I couldn't possibly understand his life
.

But I didn't hold back, drinking tea while looking at him. His expression seemed to
acknowledge that I was his girlfriend, which made me feel much more at ease. To be honest, I was really afraid he
wouldn't admit it.

"Why haven't you contacted me these past few days?" I asked immediately, relieved.

"Me?" He chuckled, seemingly surprised by my question. "I've been very busy.

You know, this project is very important; I have to do it well, otherwise people will look down on me,

" he explained. At that time, although I didn't quite agree with his reasoning, I finally decided to believe
him.

"You'll be looked down on too?" I couldn't understand his question at all. How could the high and mighty heir of a large conglomerate
be looked down upon?

He smiled slightly, not answering my question, but just staring intently at my face.

Suddenly, I felt a little embarrassed. Although I considered myself his girlfriend, aside from that one somewhat
passionate sexual encounter, we hadn't had much contact. Being looked at like that by a man, and
sensing the lust in his eyes, my heart suddenly pounded, and I unconsciously lowered my head.

"You're beautiful," he said, then stood up from his chair and walked around the desk towards me.

"Really?" I felt a sweet warmth in my heart; being praised like that by the one I loved made my face flush
.

He sat down beside me and gently put his arm around my waist. I didn't pull away, letting him
hold me . I've never denied that I was captivated by him; being held in his arms felt comfortable.

But he clearly wanted more than just a hug. He gently guided my hand to his crotch, whispering,
"Your boyfriend wants you!"

"Mmm!" My face flushed slightly. I had mentally prepared myself for what was about to happen when I came to see him today
. But his gentle words still made my body go weak.

"Do you really consider me your girlfriend?" I asked, gently placing my hand on his crotch and tilting my head back.

"Of course!" he replied with a smile, his answer perfectly certain, then added mysteriously, "Your moaning is
captivating!"

My face flushed crimson. I knew how I'd screamed that night I lost my virginity; it
was a scream.

"Don't say it..." I whispered, continuing to gently stroke his crotch. I needed him to know I
didn't like talking about it.

"But you really are alluring! Haha!" He ignored me, speaking even louder,
one hand slipping inside my clothes and grabbing my breast.

"No...this is the office..." My sensitive breasts, touched by his scent, felt a
wave of weakness wash over me. But even though I'd offered myself, it didn't mean I was a promiscuous girl. In the
office...psychologically, I still felt resistant.

"No one dares to come in, don't worry." Without another word, he drew the curtains, then pulled me close,
dragging the straps of my dress down to my arms, revealing my bare shoulders in a sexy way.

I gazed at him tenderly, my hand still gently caressing his genitals through his pants. I was confident
I looked beautiful; I was confident in my appearance and in the money I'd spent at the beauty salon
.

Sure enough, he seemed attracted to me! He cupped my face in his hands, his deep eyes fixed on me, as if
assessing whether this young woman was worthy of being his girlfriend.

His gaze was so affectionate that my heart pounded. Sweetly and shyly, I blushed and
lowered .

"Lift your face up, let me see you!" he said gently.

A sudden surge of happiness welled up inside me, and I looked up.

Meeting his alluring gaze, my eyes flickered, my eyelids
closed , and my lips pursed slightly…

I touched his warm lips. He understood, and his lips pressed against mine. Then
, his moist tongue parted my lips, passed through my teeth, and swiftly
intertwined .

"Oh!" I murmured softly, wrapping my arms tightly around his neck and kissing him passionately.

He had kissed me before, but it was only a light touch of the lips; this time, it was a fervent, passionate
kiss .

My heart was racing, my blood was boiling, and I felt my whole body burning with desire. I was clearly incredibly
aroused.

I held him tightly, like parched land receiving rain, greedily sucking in the
sweet nectar flowing from his mouth. I had never longed for an embrace, for caresses, as I did now.

He held me gently, his hands roaming over my back, tenderly stroking every inch of my skin.
His movements were so gentle; he touched my spine, my upper arms, my hips, and across my
body to my chest. I suddenly wondered if he was carefully examining the
body of the woman who was about to become his. But I wasn't worried at all; I knew I would pass his inspection, even though I didn't really
want him to be.

His groping hand finally stopped at my chest. He stopped my still-lingering, passionate kiss,
looked at me tenderly, and said, "Baby, you're choking me."

My face flushed again. I realized how tightly I had been holding him. I gave him an apologetic smile, my blushing face turning red
, and gently released my arms.

He gently undressed me, his smile never wavering, his movements as tender as ever.

He continued to pull down the shoulder straps he had already pulled up to my arms, and slowly removed my bra.

He gazed at my breasts, and I shyly bent my arms and crossed them over my chest.

"Take your hands away, I want to see!" he said.

I slowly moved my arms away and shyly closed my eyes.

He cupped my breasts, gently kneading them while kissing them with his head down.

His tongue was warm and moist, and when it brushed against my already erect nipples, I
cried out "Ah!" and hugged his head tightly again.

"Baby, you're so cute!" He lifted his face, a teasing smile on his lips, making me
blush let out a coquettish sigh.

He continued to caress my breasts, making me moan with frequent gasps, then he began to move his hand
down, slipping it inside my panties.

"Baby!" He seemed used to calling me baby, and I enjoyed the term. "You're already so
wet."

"Mmm!" I continued to moan, knowing how wet I was, knowing how excited I was.

I was ready; everything I had would belong to him!

He helped me sit up, pointed to the desk, and said, "Baby, lie down there."

I followed his instructions, went there, and bent over, my upper body resting on the desk, my breasts pressed against the cold
surface. Suddenly, I felt a wave of discomfort. It was psychological discomfort.

My snow-white buttocks were raised high, and after he roughly pulled down my pants
, he spread my legs apart. At this moment, he seemed much rougher than before, as if he were treating me
like prey. Suddenly, a feeling of humiliation welled up inside me.

Xiong-ge, have you considered my feelings? Just now, you were so gentle, so intoxicating!

But I didn't move. As he squeezed my buttocks hard, I trembled slightly and continued
to stand and lie there. I knew my body was yearning, but I needed my lover's care even more!

Besides, I've always been the one being pampered! I've always been respected. I
couldn't say . It's just sex, what else could it be? But I just felt uncomfortable.

There was no more time for me to overthink. I felt one of the hands that was touching my buttocks leave
, and then quickly, it pulled his penis to my genitals. Before I could react
, his penis smoothly entered my soaking wet body.

And so I began to moan endlessly...

(V)

My second time having sex happened on Li Guanxiong's desk.

In the days that followed, I had a strange longing in my heart, a longing to have a
"proper" and passionate time with him in a spacious, comfortable room, on a soft bed. At that time, I felt that
the previous two times were too informal, whether in a private room or in the office, too perfunctory.

But he didn't seem to think so; he seemed to get full satisfaction from me.

I admit he was indeed great; even when I was a little uncomfortable and slumped over the desk, he still made me howl and
scream . That's how he described me afterwards.

That day, I still didn't get the answer I wanted. When I nestled weakly against him afterward,
I told him about my dream of a video game empire, and I longed for his support, but he didn't give
me a direct answer. He only said that the construction plan for the building would not change.

I knew what that meant, but at that moment, I suddenly felt that the video game empire was no longer
my biggest dream. Anyway, on the way home, I was in a very good mood.

Yes, he admitted that I was his girlfriend, he gave me his phone number, and told me I could contact him anytime.
He personally escorted me to the door, telling all the staff and security guards, "I, Anlan, am his girlfriend!"

I know my face must be beaming with happiness right now. I couldn't wait to see him again,
but he said he had to go away for a week. So I had to wait.

The days of waiting were also days of reminiscing, every smile of his, every word he said, every caress
, every kiss, and the feeling of him entering me…

…

At night, I tossed and turned in bed, unable to sleep, my mind filled with his image, my body burning, my
hand reaching for my genitals…

I parted my wet labia, tracing the path he had once walked… But it was no use,
the feeling was different, completely different!

I missed him so much! The day after he left on his business trip.

I blushed, even though during the day I was still the powerful and beautiful arcade owner,
still bossing around a group of thugs. But in my heart, it seemed that overnight, I
had suddenly lost all expectation for this kind of life.

I remembered his loud laughter when I excitedly told him about my dream of becoming the arcade queen
. I had a feeling he was mocking me. Was he mocking my naivety?

Or did he think such a "small" wish didn't even deserve to be called an ideal?

So, I waited anxiously until he returned. I was so happy; he had called me first
.

I changed into my beautiful new clothes again; I had to make myself perfect before seeing him.

But he didn't seem to care about any of that. He later said he cared about my "fun"

personality and the body beneath my clothes.

Today, I know I've become not "fun" at all, but compared to then, I'm happy for myself
. At least now he really doesn't want to part with me; he really wants to marry me!

That's the most important thing.

This time, I got the big bed I'd been dreaming of for days. We rolled around in bed, naked
, embracing and kissing passionately, touching every part of each other's bodies.

I reached orgasm again and again; he was really strong. Even as I collapsed on the bed, utterly exhausted,
he continued his vigorous thrusts inside me. At that moment, I was terrified he would rape me to death.

Finally, he gave me a title that made me both laugh and cry: he said I was his best sexual partner.

I knew he must have other partners, and a pang of jealousy welled up inside me.

However, a few months later, when I discovered that I had
far I felt a sense of balance. I understood one thing: a man cannot be monopolized,
especially a man as powerful as him. I knew I couldn't handle him alone, so I enjoyed my position
, even though it sometimes stung.

I didn't mention my arcade empire again because he asked me to help him.

I felt a sweet warmth, yet also a sense of loss. I knew I was about to say goodbye to my old life
. The life that had accompanied me through my childhood, and my arcade dream, would be cast to the winds. I was about
to begin a new life; I was no longer the leader of a group, and my life would be entirely dependent on one person.
I'm so glad he hasn't abandoned me yet; otherwise, I might really go crazy. Because of him, I've lost
my former self. From that moment on, my life completely belonged to him.

I've never been a nostalgic person, so apart from a slight regret about my arcade kingdom dream
, I wasn't sad. I was eagerly anticipating my new life, a new life with him.

At that time, I was immersed in extreme excitement, feeling like the happiest woman in the world.

He didn't assign me any specific work; he just kept me by his side, helping with the construction of that building that destroyed my dream
but gave me new life. Many of my former "friends" were also assigned to
work in the group. I was sincerely grateful to him.

However, in reality, at first, I was idle every day, just answering phones, collecting faxes, organizing
files, and most importantly, satisfying his sexual desires whenever he was in the mood.

During that period, I had become accustomed to being played by him. Besides his insatiable sex drive, he often
played with me using sex toys, teasing every erogenous zone on my body.

To be honest, I was very uncomfortable and shy at first. When I was naked, legs spread, letting him
play with me between my legs, I would often cover my face with my hands and let out continuous moans.

Gradually, he said he didn't like me covering my face, so sometimes he would tie me up and play with my
vulva and anus with sex toys. He said he wanted me to give him everything without reservation.

So, I learned to give him oral sex skillfully, got used to his anal sex, and began to enjoy the sex he had trained me to have
. Give him everything without reservation? I was willing to do it.

Anyway, in my heart, everything I had already belonged to him, and I was completely satisfied to be with him
.

So when I found out he'd been secretly involved in some shady business, I wasn't surprised at all.

To be honest, when I led that group of thugs, we didn't have anything legitimate to offer either.

I cared about nothing but him. I helped him strategize, managed his gang affairs, and he found me more useful

than his so-called "brothers," and he trusted me more and more. 　　I was so happy! Being with him was like heaven! Although he often slept with other women, even in front of me, which made me a little upset, I still smiled and sometimes even helped him control those women who weren't very cooperative. I wasn't being hypocritical; I was genuinely happy. His happiness was my happiness. 　　Over the years, I've lost count of how many women he's slept with. Many of them were very beautiful, some even more beautiful than me. Among them were fifteen or sixteen-year-old girls, and middle-aged women in their forties; there were naive high school students, powerful celebrities, and seemingly respectable female politicians… women of almost every social class were there! Some came to make a deal with him, some were forced to offer themselves, and many were kidnapped and raped by him… He seemed never to be satisfied with women. 　　I knew I was bewitched. Even in front of his brothers, I acted like a powerful gang leader , but I knew my life was completely dependent on him. The other day, I read a sentence that said a woman's heart is always vulnerable in front of a man. 　　I laughed when I read that. With him backing me, I was a strong woman, but this relationship was undeniably fragile . Everything I had depended on this fragile relationship. 　　But I was lucky. I gave everything to this man, and he loved me. He wanted to marry me! 　　Years ago, when he took me to meet his father, he said I was his father's future daughter-in-law, and it filled my heart with sweetness. But I waited almost ten years for this day to truly arrive… 　　He was a capricious man; perhaps only I could calm him down. 　　Back then, he was deeply troubled by his brother, but he only confided in me. He told me how pitiful an illegitimate child was, how all the good things had to be taken by his brother before he could have a little left, even his father's large company preferred to give it to his good-for-nothing brother rather than him. This was all because his brother, Li Feng, was born to his wife, and his birth mother was just a maid who had a one-night stand with his father, kicked out of the house thirty years ago and never heard from again. 　　He spoke of this with fury, his eyes gleaming with malice. He was determined to compete with his brother; with skill , ten Li Fengs wouldn't be a match for him, Li Guanxiong! 　　Of course, I supported him; whatever he did, I supported him. The idea of using slow-acting poison was my idea ! He succeeded, and so did I. His brother died, and he naturally took over his father's large conglomerate . 　　Days passed, his business grew bigger and bigger, his money increased, and the women around him changed more and more frequently. Only I remained by his side. 　　Over the years, I shared his joys and sorrows. I was proud of his achievements, and he was proud of my outstanding performance . In front of others, I was his best assistant, the woman he loved most. 　　Although I don't know if I was the most loved in his heart, I was an important woman, that's for sure, and that's enough. 　　When he was successful, he never forgot me. When he was in trouble, I was the person he trusted most. 　　Ah! Speaking of this, I'm almost in tears. I truly feel that I am an extremely successful woman, an extremely happy woman. 　　He said that the most touching moment for him was when he was in a lawsuit with his sister-in-law over the inheritance, and she almost found evidence that he had murdered his brother. During that time, I was by his side every minute, trying my best to cheer him up, shedding tears for every setback he faced, and encouraging him for every opportunity he had. He said that the biggest credit for his ability to remain calm and ultimately emerge unharmed was me! 　　I was so happy to hear that, I snuggled into his arms and acted spoiled, and then we spent an incredibly intense night together . 　　Receiving his praise was a sign of my...

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