Shen Lun

Ever since I first saw porn as a child, I've been haunted by the question of what it feels like to be penetrated by an actress. I remember the first time I imagined myself as an actress, secretly wearing my mother's underwear and constantly stimulating my glans with my hand until I suddenly ejaculated. That's when I realized that this was masturbation. Later, I gradually started imagining myself as the girl being penetrated when I masturbated.

As I grew older, I gradually learned more about sex, discovering that besides normal intercourse, there was oral sex, anal sex, and even homosexuality and transsexuality. As I got older, I went from secretly wearing my mother's underwear to wearing makeup, stockings, and high heels, and eventually even dressing up as a girl from head to toe and masturbating. Sometimes, after watching transsexual films or anal sex videos, I would even try playing with my own anus. But I know very well that I love women, so I've always had an aversion to anal sex, though sometimes I still can't resist the urge.

After graduating from university, I lived alone and bought several sets of lingerie, vests, silicone breast pads, wigs, and some sexy clothes through online shopping. Of course, stockings and high heels are indispensable. I'm not slender, but I'm of average build for a man, 180cm tall and weighing 68kg. I've always wanted to be thinner. My proudest feature is my long, beautiful legs; in high heels, they're just as stunning as many women's, which is why I can't forget cross-dressing. Unfortunately, I have a lot of body hair, and sometimes to fully transform, I have to shave my leg hair, armpit hair, chest hair, and beard. By the time I'm done, I'm exhausted. Later, after learning how to do enemas, the project became even more extensive.

I live in a small apartment on the top floor, in building A. On the other side of the stairs is building B, also a small apartment, where another boy of similar age lives. When I first lived alone, I would cross-dress like crazy every night. Because I smoke, I would dress up and smoke on the balcony. Sometimes when I got home early at night, I would use the showerhead to give myself an enema. Then I would cross-dress and masturbate. While masturbating, I would find something to insert into my anus. I kept trying to experience what it felt like to watch porn actresses. But it was so different when I did it myself, and I had no other choice. I often spent the whole night playing with my anus, stimulating my prostate, masturbating, and trying to ejaculate on my face and in my mouth. But it just didn't feel the same.

One day I was watching TV at home when the doorbell rang. I opened the door and saw the boy from next door.
He said, "Sorry, I forgot my keys. Can I climb over here?"
My house and his house were actually only separated by a wall; if you really wanted to, you could easily climb over.
I let him. Before closing the door, I saw a girl on the stairs; she was quite cute, probably his girlfriend.

Later, when I was smoking on the balcony, I heard moaning coming from next door.
"Ahhh... Ahhh... Baby! Ahhh..." The girl tried to lower her voice, but it seemed she couldn't control herself anymore.
I also heard the slapping sounds of bodies colliding and the boy's deep breathing.
"Ah~~~Baby, don't stop~~~Almost there~~~Ahhh~~~Fuck me, fuck me, fuck me, fuck me, fuck me, roar~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~!!!"
The girl's voice went from high-pitched to sobbing and then gradually faded into silence. Even though she had already climaxed, her boyfriend hadn't let her go.
I suddenly realized I'd been eavesdropping for over half an hour, and my penis was hard.
I've said before that I like girls, and hearing such a cute girl being fucked was irresistible, especially since she was quite cooperative in bed.
But her boyfriend's stamina also made me fantasize. I often saw that boy; he wasn't very tall, but he was dark-skinned and muscular, with a cheerful smile. He was the athletic type, always carrying a basketball, covered in sweat.
I started imagining his muscles glistening with sweat as he fucked his girlfriend.
I even started imagining myself as his girlfriend, beneath him, being powerfully thrust into by him. I imagined myself wearing stockings and high heels, being fucked from behind in a doggy-style position by him. His penis was inserted into my anus, stretching my anus wide open, the head of his penis pressing against my prostate, thrusting rapidly and repeatedly.
My

buttocks were being pounded by his lower abdomen in waves, slap ...
"
Ah
...
It felt like I was truly a slut, played with until I forgot myself, thirstily licking the penis of the man who raped me, spitting out his semen. When I regained consciousness, fifteen minutes had passed.

Ever since I overheard the couple next door having sex, my curiosity has grown stronger. I've wanted to climb over and peek several times, but I haven't dared. Once, I saw that girl again in the stairwell, and when I got home, I started fantasizing about raping her in the stairwell and playing with my own penis. Lately, I seem to have a tendency towards sexual dissatisfaction, spending a lot of time searching for porn online and then masturbating. But the more I watch, the more sheer the transgender content, and I fantasize about being one of the transgender people being fucked. My mind is a mess; what's wrong with me? Lately, I've also been arguing with my girlfriend a lot. After each argument, I have the urge to cross-dress and masturbate, finding something to play with my anus.
One night, I cleaned myself up, removed my pubic hair, and put on a wig. At that moment, my penis was already a little erect. I quickly pulled out my lace panties and pressed my penis back down; the tightness of women's panties is truly unique. I put on a matching bra, slipped on my prosthetic breasts, and styled my cleavage. I didn't buy particularly large prosthetics; I wear a size 36B or C because I don't like anything too exaggerated. I'm aiming to look like a real beauty. The silicone prosthetics feel very realistic, and applying them even stimulates my nipples. I put on lace-trimmed black sheer stockings and couldn't help but stroke my feet. My penis got a little harder; if someone peeked at my panties, they'd see a slight dampness. I put on a women's blouse and secretary skirt—today's look is office lady style—and three-inch stilettos. I applied a little lip gloss and put on thick-rimmed glasses because I was too lazy to put on any other makeup.
I went out onto the balcony to smoke, fantasizing that I was the secretary my boss had tricked into taking to the rooftop and raping. I stroked my legs, buttocks, and breasts. My penis was rock hard; thankfully, my underwear was tight enough, otherwise, the bulge would have been visible through my skirt. Ever since I started fantasizing about the boy next door, masturbation has become more than just masturbating. In my cross-dressing role, I'm a wanton transvestite; I not only want to ejaculate, but I also want to be fucked and feel intense stimulation. I even fantasize about licking a man's penis, though in reality, I don't want to and dare not give a man oral sex.

I finished my cigarette and continued my fantasy.
My boss roughly pulled at my clothes, reaching inside my skirt to play with my thighs, then caressing my genitals. His fingers deftly stimulated my glans outside my underwear. "Ah, no... um, boss, no..." My boss kissed me forcefully, sticking his tongue into my mouth and covering it with his own. I could only make moaning sounds. I continued to struggle, but the boss held me tightly, grabbing my breasts. My underwear was getting wetter and wetter, and even my anus felt a little itchy.
I went into the room, grabbed a carrot from the refrigerator, and pretended it was the boss's penis. The boss roughly grabbed my hair, pressing my head down, demanding that I "clean" it for him. I stuck out my tongue, first lightly licking the glans, then using my hand to pull back the foreskin, fantasizing about the smell of the boss's penis. That distinctively masculine odor only intensified my lust. I lay on the bed, my hair disheveled, my shirt already tossed on the floor. I didn't take off my skirt and stockings; that way, it would look like I was being raped. I licked the carrot, my other hand reaching down to my crotch. Prostatic fluid leaked from my glans, wetting my panties. Through my underwear, I gently circled the tip of my penis. "Mmm~" I felt like I wanted it. I took off my panties, letting them hang on one leg, and started stroking my penis. Then I reached for my anus. "Boss, no more~" I continued to fantasize about my boss violating me. My fingers were already inside my anus, one, two, I found the prostate and started stimulating it with my fingers. "Oh~ mmm~ ah" My mind went blank, and I unconsciously groaned. I increased the speed of my fingers, and my breathing became rapid. "Ah~ mmm~ right there~" My penis was already soft, but prostatic fluid was everywhere, staining my skirt. My anus was getting wetter and wetter, and the prostate was swollen. With the stimulation of my fingers, a lewd smell filled the room.

"No more, no more, no more ahhhhhh~" My fingers moved faster and faster, and I cried out, but I had no intention of stopping. My brother couldn't get an erection, but he kept feeling the urge to ejaculate. The pleasure was concentrated in his lower abdomen, but the unreleased feeling made my muscles throb. "Ah ... The feeling was hard to describe; it was a bit like diarrhea—painful, yet with the pleasurable sensation of defecating, but it didn't end immediately.

I continued to fantasize in my mind: the boss thrusting into me forcefully, slapping my buttocks, kneading my breasts, kissing me, licking my face, ears, and nipples. The carrot was going in and out of my anus faster and faster. This feeling of almost reaching orgasm but not quite was pushing me to the brink of collapse. My lower body was a mess, but my penis was still limp. I freed one hand to play with my penis. "Boss, no, I'll die! Oh my god!" In my fantasy, the boss said to me, "You damn transvestite, you've wanted me to fuck you for ages, haven't you? You've been seducing me every day. Today I'm going to fuck you until you die!"
I couldn't think straight anymore, and I was almost speechless. I felt the climax coming, like a tsunami crashing over me. "Almost there, almost there, oh my god, it's going to break, my ass is going to break!" My anus began to contract involuntarily, but it didn't stop Carrot's thrusts at all. It went all the way in, oh my god, "Ah~!!" Finally, a large amount of semen gushed out, spraying onto my stockings, high heels, skirt, and even my own face.

"Hmm~" I was exhausted from being fucked by the boss (Carrot). I lay on the bed, disheveled, with undried semen on my face. I tried to stick out my tongue and lick my own semen.
I started to wonder again, is this what it feels like to be fucked? Besides pleasure, does a woman's feeling of being penetrated by a man also include a sense of being conquered?
Semen is warm, but carrots aren't. What does it feel like to be penetrated? Is it more pleasurable?
I started to imagine actually finding a man to have sex with, but this thought was quickly overshadowed by guilt. Sexual fantasies and masturbation are one thing, but how could I actually find a man?
What I didn't expect was that such an opportunity would come so quickly. The pleasure of being penetrated by a man, the submissive feeling of being penetrated like a woman, and the guilt would soon overwhelm me, making me sink into depravity, unable to extricate myself.

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