Trembling under pantyhose

Previously, when she was with Junyan, she had an abortion due to pregnancy, but this happened after she decided to marry her current husband.

Qiuling and her husband Weimin had an arranged marriage. There were many reasons why she broke off contact with Junyan. First, being the same age, they both needed to work to support themselves and live in the same area.

Qiuling was born in Tokyo and lived with her mother. Junyan lived in Osaka and was going to inherit his father's company.

For the sake of their future, Qiuling decided to marry Weimin, a distant relative of her mother. After obtaining Junyan's understanding, they broke up. So, their separation wasn't due to any unpleasantness; Qiuling married Weimin with sweet memories.

"Breaking up like this, it's really hard to bear," she said as her hands were held on her knees.

"Yes,"

Qiuling finally said in a weak voice. Qiuling had felt very uneasy since then; she had a premonition that if he persisted, it wouldn't be easy to handle.

The first time she touched his erect penis, and the pain and excitement of its penetration, were still vivid in her memory. And he was even sweeter than her husband. Because Junyan was Qiuling's first love. She

really shouldn't have seen him again; she regretted it, and her body trembled with fear at the prospect of what was about to happen. Just a few hours ago, she never dreamed such a thing would happen.

At her college friend's wedding, sitting opposite her was Junyan. The bride was a junior from her college club, and she never expected the groom to be Junyan's friend as well. Even more unbelievable, Junyan, who lived in Osaka, would also be at the banquet. After the

wedding ceremony, to make it easier to share a taxi, Junyan drove Qiuling home.

"Is your husband home?"

"No, he's away on a business trip today and won't be back for five days."

"Stay with me a little longer! Let's have another drink at my hotel."

Qiuling felt embarrassed to refuse his request.

Junyan, who came from Osaka, had booked a room in advance.

As dusk settled, the hotel lobby offered a beautiful view of the night. Candles were lit inside, and the two women, holding wine glasses, were both experiencing a strange melancholy.

"I never thought we'd meet again."

"Yes!"

Qiu Ling wore a brightly colored light blue dress for the wedding, while he wore a suit.

"Come sit in my room!"

"No!"

Though she said no, she involuntarily stood up, letting him take her hand.

"It's better to rest in the room."

Qiu Ling had the same idea. Honestly, she didn't want to go back to her cold apartment alone, since her child had been sent to her grandmother's.

In Shinjuku, on a high floor of a hotel, the windows were large, and the night view was beautiful. She hadn't expected alcohol to have such an incredible effect on women. Alcohol could freely manipulate her body and mind.

(Let's get drunk! Let's get confused!) Thinking this, her body indeed followed suit. Sitting on the bed, Qiu Ling lay down.

"Relax a bit!"

Junyan helped her take off her shoes, then held her legs and adjusted her sleeping position.

He dimmed the lights, and Qiuling covered her face with her hands, saying, "I want some cold water."

"Okay!" Junyan quickly poured her some cold water and handed it to her.

It was inconvenient to ask her older husband for things like this.

As she sat up to drink, Junyan helped her, and after a sip or two, she lay back down on the bed.

He placed the glass on the table, sat down by the bed, and began to untie the bow on her clothes.

"What are you trying to do?"

"It'll make things easier for you!"

He used to do this often, untying her clothes and then lightly kissing her chest.

"No."

Qiuling covered her chest with her hands, because he was now a stranger. But Junyan suddenly picked her up and forcefully inserted his hand under her skirt.

"No, no!" Qiuling quickly bent over, pressing his hand down.

However, Qiu Ling knew that this was just an act, because she was wearing pantyhose, and Junyan couldn't directly touch her genitals. Yet, Junyan still wanted to penetrate her through the pantyhose.

"Don't do this, don't!"

Qiu Ling, who had been resisting, was now being touched by Junyan's stubbornness and her own drunkenness. Although she said "No!", she began to twist her waist after being touched.

"Please, don't do this, don't!"

Although she refused, she still hugged Junyan's head, pressing her cheek against his. When he tried to kiss her lips, she initially flinched, but then stopped resisting and sucked on his lips forcefully.

Junyan, stroking her genitals, pulled down her pantyhose and underwear. After her skin came into contact with the cold air, Qiu Ling stopped resisting, as if she had lost consciousness, all her strength drained away. After thinking it over, she stopped resisting, and didn't want to damage her expensive dress.

"Take it off!" he whispered in her ear.

Qiu Ling thought that since there was a secret before, it wouldn't hurt to create another one now. Because Qiu Ling had come to terms with it, Junyan went to the bathroom to shower without worry.

When Qiu Ling sat alone on the bed, even though she had come to terms with it, she still couldn't help but overthink. She knew that her peaceful days would be disrupted. Even so, her past feelings for him resurfaced.

Before having children, her sex with her husband, whom she had married through an arranged marriage, was merely a matter of duty. Sometimes she would think of Junyan, idealizing him and cherishing him as someone she longed for. But now it was different; she didn't dare shower with Junyan.

Junyan, with a towel wrapped around his waist, came out of the bathroom.

"Go shower quickly!"

he urged, as if he were a close relative or wife, implying that she should shower before going to bed.

"I'm going back." Qiu Ling felt disgusted by Junyan's overly casual manner.

"What? How can you say such cruel things now?" In his panic, Junyan accidentally slipped the towel around his waist, revealing his masculinity.

"No..."

"Don't say that, I beg you!"

Suddenly, he grabbed Qiu Ling's shoulders, kissed her neck, and forcefully pushed her down onto the bed, pulling her hand to his already erect penis.

Holding his hard and throbbing penis in her hand, Qiu Ling collapsed into his arms once more.

"Don't think too much. Let's go back to how we were before. There won't be another chance like this."

As he whispered in Qiu Ling's ear, his hand slipped under her skirt, touching deep into her thigh. At that moment, Qiu Ling had a change of heart

. She said, "Okay! In that case, I'll go take a shower first." Having come to terms with it, Qiu Ling stood up.

Sitting on the bed, Junyan watched Qiu Ling stand in the room, taking off her clothes one by one until she was only wearing a bra and a slip. Under Junyan's gaze, Qiu Ling entered the bathroom.

She found that her once docile heart had become incredibly greedy. This unquenchable desire fueled her intense curiosity; she wanted to see, through a woman's eyes, how Junyan differed from the Junyan of the past. Although they had been intimate before, it was a long time ago, and now it stirred a fresh sense of shame within her. It also aroused excitement, as she could tell when he touched her breasts.

Her nipples were erect, her labia warm. As Qiu Ling showered, washing her own labia, she rediscovered the differences between herself and her husband, experiencing the changes in her body. With her husband, she no longer felt this kind of excitement.

Emerging from the bathroom, the room was much dimmer than before. Qiuling, wrapped only in a towel from her chest to her waist, walked reassuredly to the bed. Unwrapping the blanket, she snuggled against Junyan.

Junyan immediately removed the towel, revealing his smooth skin after the shower, and Qiuling was embraced. Memories from five years ago resurfaced.

After graduating from university, they were separated by distance. Unable to bear the pain of separation, Junyan pleaded, "How about it? Can you come to Osaka?"

But Qiuling, who had never lived in the countryside, had no confidence in spending her life there with her extended family, so she refused Junyan. This decision was painful, but fate loves to play tricks.

Frankly, at that time, their lovemaking was entirely Junyan's initiative. Although there were moments of excitement, Qiuling had never experienced the pleasure described in books during such sexual encounters. Every time she was touched, hugged, or penetrated, the feeling was the same. However, recently, Qiu Ling has slowly begun to appreciate the nuances of sex. This happened after she gave birth.

She no longer waited for the man to finish, but could reach orgasm together with him. In that instant, a flash of light would appear in Qiu Ling's mind, and her body would stiffen, enjoying the feeling of being completely numb.

"Oh! Has my figure changed?" Qiu Ling asked Jun Yan, who was kneading her breasts, stroking her back, and then moving from her waist down to her buttocks.

"No wonder you're a mother, you're much fuller."

"Ugh, I've gained a lot of weight recently."

"But you're more feminine than before, your breasts are much bigger, and your nipples are much thicker." "

That's because of the baby suckling."

"Only the baby suckling?"

"Ugh!"

"Don't forget, I'm the first person to suckle your nipples." "

Yes, you have priority." "

That's right." After lifting his body, Jun Yan began to suckle her breasts.

“Ah, there’s milk.”

“Of course.”

“It tastes delicious.” Junyan, suckling at the nipple, spoke in a half-joking, coquettish tone. Then his hand moved from the lower body down to her genitals. At this moment, the petals, secreting love fluid, were wet and sensitive to the stimulation of his fingers.

“Ah!” She exhaled naturally.

“It’s gotten a little bigger here too…”

“Of course, because I’ve given birth.”

“Maybe it’s because I’ve never been married, so I don’t understand, but I find it so strange.” As he spoke, he moved his mouth away from her breast, and at the same time, lifted the blanket, gazing at Qiuling’s naked body in the dim light, and then licked her lower abdomen with his tongue.

His technique with his tongue was no different from before. Slowly, they adopted a position of head to feet, feet to head.

Qiuling gently cupped the erect penis in front of her with both hands, while slowly stroking around the scrotum, and then pressed it against her cheek. The skin at the tip of the glans felt as soft and comfortable as a baby’s lips.

Qiu Ling began kissing the penis, then licked from the hard flesh to the indentation with her tongue, finally taking the entire penis into her mouth. Jun Yan, meanwhile, used his tongue to find the clitoris among Qiu Ling's labia, rhythmically and slowly sucking it.

New stimulation spread throughout her body, numbing her mind and body, her entire being focused on desire. Qiu Ling realized then that the sweet sensation of orgasm she experienced with her husband wasn't exclusive to them.

Although Jun Yan also used his tongue and fingers, his skill was even more refined, and Qiu Ling's body was now beginning to accept newer stimulation.

Unconsciously, she let out intermittent "Ah...ah...ah..." sounds, feeling embarrassed yet experiencing a new kind of stimulation. Slowly, Qiu Ling returned to her usual self; she wanted to lick every part of her ex-boyfriend's body. So, Qiu Ling lifted her body.

"Let's try more things!" they said, kissing face-to-face.

“Qiuling, you’ve changed. You’ve become even more adept at finding pleasure than before.”

“Really? Really?” Qiuling replied. Junyan silently continued to suckle Qiuling’s breast, his other hand touching the other breast. Now, he was lying on his back.

Qiuling knew what he was going to do. She adjusted her position, taking his penis into her mouth and caressing it even more intensely than before.

“Have I changed?”

“Nothing much has changed, just that your penis has gotten a little thicker.”

“I don’t mean that. I mean our sex life.”

“Same as before.

” “Am I clumsy?”

“No.

” “I see you’ve changed a lot.”

“Really?

” “You’ve become very proactive.”

“Ugh.”

“I think women usually change faster.”

“Why?”

“Our sex life wasn’t like this before. Maybe your husband taught you?”

In that instant, Qiuling felt as if a sharp blade had pierced her chest, but she suppressed the pain.

"What would a man feel at this moment?"

"A little lonely."

"But in my memory, you are remarkable, your image will not be erased."

"Perhaps, but in reality, you are a married woman."

However, Qiu Ling disagreed, feeling that there were fundamental differences between men and women.

"What do you mean?"

"It's going more smoothly than before, just like what we're doing now."

"This?"

Qiu Ling held Junyan's penis in her mouth, imagining it entering her flower core, slowly licking it up and down with her tongue, and gently biting it with her teeth.

"You remember how you used to be so apprehensive, and how it hurt when your teeth touched it?"

Junyan couldn't tell if this was a compliment or an insult.

"Not only that, but you have to be even bolder at crucial moments." "

Because, after a woman has given birth, she doesn't overreact so easily."

"Am I like that?" Junyan replied with a slightly self-deprecating laugh.

Hearing this, although Qiu Ling felt a little disappointed, she was still invigorated. At the same time, it also aroused Qiu Ling's desire to use all the techniques she knew to make her former boyfriend even happier. He, who used to be her equal, was now like a little brother.

Qiu Ling gently stroked his scrotum, then tickled the soles of his feet, revealing all her secret techniques. Seeing Junyan's muscles twitching and hearing his groans, Qiu Ling was very happy. She now possessed abilities she couldn't have imagined before. This power could change a man, and it aroused an excitement Qiu Ling had never felt before.

"Is it comfortable?"

"Mmm! Great, it's going numb."

"Then, let me go numb too!"

Qiu Ling lay on top of Jun Yan again, in a 69 position, placing her buttocks on his face. Jun Yan opened his mouth, sticking out his tongue to lick the pubic hair-covered petals, then deeply inserting his tongue inside, before pulling it out.

Similarly, Qiu Ling played with Jun Yan's penis in her mouth, sometimes deeply, sometimes shallowly. However, doing this, Qiu Ling always felt something was missing.

What was missing, Qiu Ling didn't know. Although she was doing the same thing, it was different from what her husband did, because his movements were more immature. If her husband did it, he would suck more boldly, or insert his fingers, or even suck her anus, while Jun Yan's movements were always trembling and hesitant.

Could there be a difference in skill between a married man and a bachelor? Therefore, Qiu Ling dared not have too much hope. Sure enough, it wasn't long before Junyan lifted himself up, wanting to ejaculate, and lay on top of Qiuling.

"Do you want to penetrate?"

"Yes." Left with no other choice, Qiuling had to agree.

But, less than thirty seconds later, he…

"I'm going to cum, I'm going to cum!" Junyan cried out urgently.

"Wait, don't ejaculate yet."

Qiuling's orgasm was only halfway through, but he held on tightly like a child, not letting her move away.

"Ah…ah…" he panted heavily, "No, no," but the hot liquid had already gushed out.

Qiuling, still lying beneath Junyan, bearing his limp and heavy body, felt empty, as if something was missing.

"I'm sorry!"

"Mm!" After five years of separation, she felt dissatisfied with his behavior, but there was nothing she could do. If she could get more pleasure from him than from her husband, she would definitely be reluctant to part with him in the future. At this moment, Qiuling slowly woke up from a hazy dream.

Exhausted, Junyan fell asleep. Looking at his sleeping face, Qiu Ling felt his breath on her face; he was just like a child. Could there really be such a big difference between a married woman and a single man? If she had married him back then, she wondered what kind of life she would be living now, and of course, she wouldn't have her current husband and children.

A slight difference in a person's choices can change their entire life. At the same time, she herself had changed a lot. Their skin, pressed tightly together, slowly warmed and began to sweat. At this moment, what remained in Qiu Ling's womb was still stirring restlessly. This stimulated Qiu Ling's desire even more; the more peaceful Junyan's sleeping face became, the more adorable and hateful she felt.

She reached out and tentatively touched his penis; it was still limp, and wet and sticky because of her love fluid. Qiu Ling's lust was aroused again; she grasped Junyan's penis and caressed it. Junyan, who had been keeping his eyes closed, opened them at this moment.

"What do you want to do?"

"I can't hold back anymore."

"It's unavoidable."

"Okay!

I'll try again."

Hearing this, Qiu Ling felt much more at ease, so she got up and lifted the blanket. Like a bird hiding in its nest, afraid to poke its head out, Qiu Ling grabbed the penis with her fingers and pressed it against her face. She smelled a fishy smell. Qiu Ling found this physiological scent of a man and woman mixed together particularly stimulating, so she put it in her mouth. After sucking it with her tongue, the penis became hard again, and then she stroked it with her hand.

Afraid it wasn't hard enough and might go soft again, Qiu Ling quickly straddled Jun Yan. She let the penis penetrate deep into her petals, slowly moving her hips up and down, only feeling relieved after seeing the penis fully erect.

Forgetting her shyness, Qiu Ling took one of Jun Yan's hands and stroked her breasts, then used the other hand to touch her clitoris. She closed her eyes, enjoying both stimulations, and occasionally moving her hips up and down. The intense movements of the penis, deeply inserted into her mucous membrane, rapidly amplified her previous orgasm, intensifying her pleasure.

Compared to her husband, the single Junyan hadn't made much progress, which actually reassured Qiuling. She seemed to be taking control of her actions, violently twisting her hips.

At this moment, Junyan's expression changed. He gritted his teeth, arched his back, and his entire body began to tremble as if in spasms. Seeing this, Qiuling became even more excited. Qiuling twisted her hips faster and faster, rubbing against her mucous membrane.

"I'm almost there!" she gasped.

Qiuling felt a surge of pleasure, like lightning, shooting from her core to the top of her head. Qiuling gripped his arm and began to quicken her movements. Junyan's hands, kneading her breasts and clitoris, also increased their pressure.

"It's coming!"

"I'm coming." Suddenly, Qiuling's body felt as if it were engulfed in flames.

“You haven’t changed at all.”

“Qiu Ling, you’ve changed quite a bit.”

“How so?”

“You’re a married woman now, so you’re not alone, you’re two.”

As they embraced, Qiu Ling began to whisper in his ear.

“What does that mean?”

“I always think of your husband.”

“Why? You’ve never seen my husband!”

“Although I don’t know him, he feels strangely familiar, because…” Junyan trailed off.

“Why did you stop?”

“It’s really hard to explain.”

“It’s alright, go ahead!”

“Because… for boys, the same experience, doing the same things through Qiu Ling’s body—for example, touching her breasts, touching this place, inserting their penis into her lining—touching the same places, experiencing the same sensations, creates a very special sense of intimacy.”

“What a strange thought.”

“That’s true, I always feel like he’s not an outsider.”

“Ah! Is it like the intimacy of brothers?”

“Hmm…” Junyan smiled ambiguously.

Perhaps so, but from Qiu Ling’s perspective, it wasn’t like that. Before marrying her, her husband had dated many girls, so he knew many techniques to please women. Although he could achieve pleasure, he always felt a little dirty.

Conversely, Qiu Ling looked at Junyan, who was completely unchanged from before, with different eyes. For both of them, their first encounter was under the influence of virginity. Looking at Junyan, who hadn’t made much progress since then, it seemed that he only knew her as a woman.

“Let’s meet again sometime!”

“Okay!” Junyan nodded.

"Are you planning to get married?"

"I should get married."

"But you can't just get married casually!"

"Why?"

"Because you're my first love. If I marry a bad woman, I won't forgive you. It would be like I've been defiled too."

"Your thinking is too selfish."

"Yes, maybe I am too selfish, but that's really what I think."

"But, Qiuling, you and I have had a relationship now. Don't you feel anything?"

"To say nothing would be a lie. After all, we had a relationship, and that's forgivable."

"But if your husband finds out about this, it won't be good."

"Of course. Although he has a lot of experience with women, he's easily jealous. However, I love you. You're like my one and only man."

"Qiuling, you're too extravagant and too greedy."

“My husband often says that men all want to marry virgins, and he’s very unhappy that I’m not one. But virginity doesn’t seem to be any advantage for men, yet not marrying a virgin feels like a loss for them. And the same goes for women!”

“So, doesn’t my position make me a virgin?”

“Yes, I think we should keep our relationship secret for now!”

But Junyan didn’t answer.

Whenever Junyan came to Tokyo on business, Qiuling would meet with him and diligently teach him all the techniques she had learned. Like an older sister, she experienced the joy of being in a woman’s superior position. Perhaps because he was single, Junyan was content with this position.

That day, Qiuling invited Junyan to her home. After dinner, she put the baby to bed and wanted Junyan to sleep with her too.

"What if he wakes up?"

"He's not asleep, he's still nursing!"

"That's not good!"

"It's alright, he's still a toddler learning to crawl, he doesn't know who his father is."

"Really? What if he recognizes you?"

"When he was that little, do you remember anything from that time?"

"Well... I think I remember, and I don't, but I can't say I have no impression at all."

"You're too pessimistic. No one will want to marry you if you're like this." Qiu Ling pulled Jun Yan's hesitant hand under the covers.

Qiu Ling's husband works for a company and is sometimes sent overseas for service or on long business trips. Recently, he went to Los Angeles for a month. To be honest, Qiu Ling couldn't endure it for long.

After about two weeks, she couldn't take it anymore. After that, she had to find ways to numb herself. So she needed to masturbate, and sometimes she would use adult toys that her husband bought for her from abroad.

At first, she was very curious, but toys are toys after all, and sometimes the sexual urges drove her crazy. Tonight, she was in that state.

"It's alright, it's alright..." Qiu Ling said, asking Junyan to lie behind her.

"I want to nurse."

"We'll do it later. I'll feed the baby first, and you can stroke me from behind," Qiu Ling requested.

To be honest, Qiu Ling loved nursing because it gave her a sense of pleasure, a feeling of fulfillment both mentally and physically.

In this state, if her body were touched or sexually engaged, Qiu Ling would feel incredibly aroused. However, this was something only her husband could do; no one else could be involved. But for Junyan, it was a different story.

Junyan stroked her back, and at the same time, his hands reached between her legs from behind, parted her labia, and inserted his fingers into her clitoris. The mucous membrane was already wet. He inserted his fingers and pressed another finger against the clitoris.

"Ah!" Qiu Ling let out an excited sound, and at the same time, she pressed her cheek against the baby's face as he nursed.

Junyan licked the hollows of her back, occasionally pressing her coccyx with his fingers, and sometimes caressing her buttocks. Junyan frantically caressed her entire body.

"Great, great!" Qiuling exclaimed excitedly, her voice hoarse.

"Is it really that good? I'm so envious of you." Junyan's movements became increasingly passionate. He got up and said to Qiuling, who was holding the baby,

"Don't always use the same position. How about we do it from behind today?"

"Okay! Go ahead!" Qiuling laid the baby down and leaned over to breastfeed, raising her hips. This was the first time she had used this position.

Junyan inserted his penis into the cleft between her peach-like buttocks. Qiuling hugged the baby nursing in her arms tightly, while swaying her hips from side to side, shouting, "Great!"

"Very good, very good, so tight." Junyan increased the speed of his thrusts.

"No, you can't come out yet." Qiuling said worriedly, while asking him to try a different position.

“Let’s try the straddle position!”

“Straddle position? Can you do it?”

“I’ve never done it before. I just want to try and see what it’s like when the two of us do it together.” Qiu Ling blushed, holding her nursing baby, and climbed up facing Jun Yan.

“It’s our secret!” Jun Yan proudly lay back on the quilt.

“Won’t it be too heavy holding the baby?”

“No, no, don’t worry.” Jun Yan became even more excited.

Naked, Qiu Ling straddled Jun Yan, holding her baby in her arms, and slowly lowered her waist. Jun Yan held her buttocks tightly, slowly inserting his penis into her vagina. After several failed attempts, his powerful penis finally slid fully into her vaginal fluid, and Qiu Ling looked at Jun Yan with more confidence.

With a touch of shyness, Qiu Ling let the baby continue nursing and glanced at Jun Yan again. Jun Yan reached out and stroked her other engorged breast. Stimulated by this, the dark brown nipple overflowed with white milk.

Qiu Ling gently swayed her hips up and down, twisting and turning. She felt a mixture of shyness and excitement about this first experience. When Jun Yan's fingers kneaded her clitoris, her shyness vanished, and she focused all her energy on pursuing pleasure.

Holding the baby tightly, Qiu Ling suddenly felt an impulse surge from her lower body. Like boiling water, bubbles of pleasure sprayed up from her lower body. When it swelled to the size of a balloon, it seemed as if she were floating in the air with the baby.

Suddenly, Qiu Ling seemed to see an image of the Virgin Mary, holding the baby in her arms, floating among the white clouds, her whole body radiating light.

"Ah! That's wonderful, that's wonderful!" she exclaimed excitedly.

"Ah! I'm going to cum!" Junyan cried out.

Holding the baby, Qiu Ling's face showed a beautiful expression of praying to God.

"Ah! Excellent." They flew together into the secret world.

This was the last time Qiu Ling met with Junyan.

"Whenever I think back to the secret between us, the image of the baby always appears before my eyes, and his gaze looks as if your husband is staring at me."

Qiu Ling received such a letter from Junyan.

Chapter Four: Jealous Love

Jealousy can enhance sexual desire. Zong Ming was like an ant on a hot pan, anxiously lying on the bed, waiting for his wife.

It was past midnight. Although he had called to say that he had a social engagement and would be back late, he didn't believe it.

His wife, Ya Mei, returned. But she didn't immediately go into the bedroom. Zongming, lying on the bed pretending to be asleep, focused all his attention, listening intently to the sounds from the next room.

Because he was drunk, his footsteps sounded a little unsteady. She turned on the sink tap and poured herself a glass of water. Then, she took off her clothes and hung them in the living room closet. She was probably getting ready to take a bath! There was still plenty of water left in the bathtub Zongming had just used.

Suddenly, there was silence, but after a moment, it became clear she had brushed her teeth, used the toilet, and then returned. For the next ten minutes, no one knew what Yamei was doing. Suddenly, the bedroom door opened, and Yamei walked in.

When he peeked at her, he saw she was wearing only underwear. Then, she took out pajamas from the bedroom closet, put them on, and then closed the closet door. She lay down beside her husband, Zongming, mysteriously observing his sleeping state.

The bed is a double bed, which they've used since their marriage.

They've been married for six years and still don't have children. Both of them work; Yamei works at an advertising company, while Zongming is a civil servant at the city government. Yamei's work hours are very irregular, while Zongming always goes to work on time. Therefore, housework has become a burden for Zongming.

Recently, their sexual activity has decreased to once every ten days, sometimes even none at all. Zongming is thirty-three years old, while Yamei is only a year younger than him; this infrequent sexual activity is unbearable for Zongming.

When a man is not satisfied, he always starts to become suspicious. Recently, Yamei's behavior has been suspicious, but he can't say anything, which is causing him great distress. Of course, Zongming hopes that he's just worrying unnecessarily.

Yamei is asleep with her back to him, lying within easy reach. But it seems as if a high wall separates them.

Recently, his wife has been coming home drunk frequently, and they haven't had dinner together for a while. Not only that, but something even more suspicious has happened.

Two days ago, there were her discarded underwear in the basket in the bathroom, meant for washing. Zongming picked it up, intending to wash it with the other underwear. However, there was a sticky substance on the crotch area of the pink underwear. Zongming found it strange, so he held it in his hand and smelled it. He smelled a pungent odor like chestnut blossoms.

His wife's sexual encounter with him happened a week ago, and Zongming felt a little dizzy. And tonight, she came home so late again. But he had to get to the bottom of this. However, he was also a little afraid; although she was lying right next to him, he couldn't find a suitable opportunity.

Just as he was feeling conflicted, Yamei, who was facing away, sighed, "Hmm!" She seemed annoyed, hunching her back and twisting her waist, her whole body feeling hot. Zongming, unsure whether this was a fantasy or reality, suddenly felt tense.

Holding his breath, Zongming listened intently to his wife's breathing, unable to look or dare to turn over. He could only faintly hear painful sighs. His fantasy took on a strange form, as if she were masturbating.

He seemed to hear the sound of petals being soothed, spreading like gas in Zongming's mind, with the petals writhing sweetly within the gas. At the same time, Zongming's heightened emotions manifested as heightened sexual desire.

If he didn't rely on self-soothing, what Zongming imagined would never happen. Perhaps because he hadn't received sufficient satisfaction, the thought itself aroused him again…

Unable to bear it any longer, Zongming turned over and said in a sleepy voice, "Ah! You're back." The hurried voice suddenly stopped.

"I'm sorry, I'm late again. Clients are like that; they always like to finish drinking at one place and then move on to another," Yamei explained.

"It's alright." Saying this, he reached out to his wife.

"I'm drunk, and I have a bit of a headache." She gently tapped her head.

"Really? That's not good. If your shoulders are sore, I'll massage them for you," Zongming said suddenly, his tone calm.

"No need, you must be tired!"

Zongming hugged his wife tightly from behind, his genitals brushing against her full buttocks. His penis was erect, and he desperately wanted to satisfy his sexual urges.

"I'm sorry, my head hurts. If I agree to your request, my head will split open,"

Zongming said angrily, but he held back.

"No, never mind then. Let me massage your back!" He got up, touching Yamei's shoulders, which were facing outwards. Right now, the most important thing was to feel his wife's warm skin; that would put his mind at ease.

A slender neck, rounded shoulders.

"This will make you feel better," he said, gently massaging her head.

He knew that if he pressed too hard, this woman might die instantly.

"Not there, it's her back," Yamei said, as if sensing Zongming's thoughts, moving her hands from her neck to her back.

However, Zongming deliberately pressed his fingers against the back of her head, applying pressure. Her head was as small as a child's; if he were to pinch it like a little bird, everything would be resolved in an instant. Thinking this, Zongming quickly moved his hand to his wife's back, gently massaging her through her pajamas, pressing hard with his thumb.

Yamei's skin was white and smooth. In the dim light, Zongming opened his eyes wide, searching his wife's body for any signs of kissing. He found no kiss marks on her neck, but on her slightly translucent and snow-white earlobes, there were red marks—perhaps left from where a man's lips had sucked or bitten them!

His hand, which had been pressing on her back, naturally moved down to her lower back. Although she was facing outwards, perhaps because it felt comfortable, Yamei remained silent. With

his fingers pressing on her warm waist, Zongming's heart pounded, even feeling a painful spasm. Other men didn't know how to caress this part of their wives; the thought of this stirred an urge to attack. From her concave waist to her full hips, her skin was as elastic as freshly made rice cake.

He pressed hard on the concave area of her waist and said, "Kneel down." He made his wife lie down.

Her body was clearly visible through a layer of pink gauze nightgown.

Yami said in a man's tone, "How can this be..."

Zongming moved his fingers from the concave area of her waist to her coccyx, while simultaneously touching her buttocks with his palm. If she had done something unspeakable tonight, there would definitely still be hot semen left in her lower body.

Yami didn't like using condoms, but she often used birth control pills, so if she had done something unspeakable, she would still have to use birth control pills, and in that case, the man's semen would definitely still be in her vagina.

It would probably be impossible to clean it completely. After sexual intercourse, without showering, letting it remain in the body—this woman's psychology is not hard to understand, and men are no exception. If it's during lovemaking, of course, they would have this feeling.

So, who exactly is this man? Several men are very suspicious. Her high school boyfriend, whom she learned was also in Tokyo at a class reunion, had been in frequent contact with her by phone ever since. Another was a client, the section chief of the advertising department. Besides him, there were two or three other suspicious people, but Zongming didn't know the details.

The only one he knew was her high school boyfriend, Haruki. He had come to their house once, and they only talked for five minutes before Zongming left his wife and the man behind to go play golf.

Shortly after their marriage, during a whispered conversation, Zongming overheard Yami say these words:

"I lost my virginity in high school. To prepare for the university entrance exam, I only dated three men before rejecting them, but he's still the person I miss the most."

"What kind of person was he?" "

He was kind, a little timid, but very intelligent. He was the ideal person for me to give my virginity to. Memories are beautiful, but you have to choose the right person." "

In that case, you're very lucky."

"Perhaps!"

Although he couldn't refute it, from that moment on, Zongming would be jealous of this man for the rest of his life. Of course, he also saw this jealousy as a stimulant for love, because he didn't have the magnanimity to tolerate it.

"Do you feel any better?"

"Yes, much better."

"You'll feel even better."

Massaging her through her pajamas was irritating, so he slipped one hand under her chest and the other under her hem to massage her feet. He massaged from her calves to her thighs, observing his wife's reaction. She remained face down, clutching the pillow.

If he were to be rejected by Yami under these circumstances, he probably wouldn't even be worthy of being a husband.

As if this was a fateful moment, Zongming was serious as he massaged her. He kneaded, pinched, and stroked her erogenous zones, his hand slipping inside her thighs, slowly pushing into her lower body. It would be terrifying to be rejected if he were too explicit.

Zongming's hand moved away from her clitoris again, kneading her plump buttocks like kneading sticky rice, and then said, "Let's try the supine position." He turned her body 180 degrees. Yami cooperated readily, changing her position with her eyes closed.

"It's much easier now," she said gratefully.

The buttons on Yami's blouse were undone, revealing her fair, rounded breasts, the nipples erect like wild strawberries. Zongming pretended to knead her breasts, slipping his hand inside her nightgown, stroking from her armpits to her breasts.

Yami didn't show any sign of resistance; of course, touching her breasts aroused her sexual desire. It was also a prelude to sexual intercourse, which reassured Zongming. However, at first, he didn't dare directly touch her nipples. He massaged them as if trying to remove lumps, simultaneously caressing both breasts.

Then, one hand reached down to her slender waist, touching her abdomen before moving to her nipples. He kneaded and then pinched her nipples, his hand moving from near her navel to between her thighs. At this moment, Yami closed her eyes, seemingly quietly enjoying the pleasure.

Zongming gently stroked her pubic hair, then inserted his fingers into her pubic area. Slightly damp, Yamei's vulva was deeper than most people's, with thick pubic hair surrounding her petals. Moreover, her labia majora were thin and small, yet strong and elastic, smooth and enveloping inside. Therefore, even after two rounds, it wouldn't deform, feeling wonderful.

When he touched her clitoris, Yamei moaned, simultaneously wrapping her legs together, closing her vulva. Zongming relentlessly stroked the area around her, trying to find evidence of her secret.

His fingers slid into the cleft, his fingers, enveloped in elastic mucous membranes, inserted into her vulva. Although his fingers touched the sticky fluid, it didn't feel more abundant than usual. He was relieved, but then disappointed.

Zongming thought he was being too suspicious. So, when he saw his wife's naked body under her pink, transparent nightgown, he could no longer suppress his sexual urges. Zongming wanted to take off her nightgown and kiss her entire body.

"Aren't you going to take them off?" Zongming first took off his underwear and pajamas.

"I'm so tired, just hurry up and insert it!" she said mechanically.

"Really?"

She was half asleep, her eyes closed. Zongming didn't dare ask for anything more, he just wanted to satisfy his desire as soon as possible. He rolled up the hem of his pajamas on her fair thighs, exposing her lower body. Full buttocks, thick and shiny pubic hair, growing like a beard down to her thighs. Only this part contrasted sharply with Yamei's cute expression and her curvaceous figure.

In fact, this pubic hair, like the hairline on her forehead, surrounded her vulva, which would hinder the tongue from licking the petals. Zongming spread her legs, aimed his erect penis at her vulva, and lay down. Yamei reached out and grasped his penis, guiding it into place. Zongming lifted

the pajamas over her breasts, reached under her armpits, and lifted her up forcefully, pressing their chests tightly together. However, Yamei's body remained relaxed, and she didn't hug him back. Although it was just a one-sided twisting of her waist, Zongming already felt very satisfied.

As he repeatedly made back-and-forth movements, he suddenly felt foam forming inside her flower core. Just like the foam produced when beating eggs, he felt a little uneasy inside, so he hurriedly pulled it out.

"What's wrong?" his wife, lying below, asked.

"Oh! Nothing."

At this moment, Zongming smelled a scent like chestnut blossoms, which made him uneasy. This scent wasn't Zongming's own; it was clearly someone else's, someone else's semen still lingering in the flower's core. Because of Zongming's penis, it had foamed and been raked out. Zongming sighed blankly, looking at the suspicious petal.

"Ugh, hurry up!" Yamei said lazily.

Zongming's penis quickly shrank. He used two fingers instead, trying to confirm the truth. Unlike before, the entire inside was now relaxed and wet with foamy mucus. Zongming pulled out his fingers, brought them to his nose, and smelled a chestnut blossom scent. Zongming found that all the blood in his body had turned cold. Anger rose in Zongming

's heart, hatred turning into jealousy. His wife, however, acted as if nothing had happened, sleeping with her eyes closed. She had actually done this behind his back. Zongming, who had almost lost his composure, quickly regained his senses. Without concrete evidence, she would definitely vehemently refute him, perhaps even reacting hysterically, turning her back on Zongming and ignoring him. Zongming would then be unable to sleep, spending a long and agonizing night. He

absolutely couldn't do anything so foolish tonight. Although it was tragic, the things he had prepared beforehand might come in handy. Zongming reached under the bed. There was a rope under the bed. He picked it up and placed it around Yamei's ankles, intending to tie her legs up.

"What are you trying to do?" Yamei opened her eyes, looking surprised. Zongming didn't say a word and quickly tied her feet.

"What are you doing? It hurts!"

Then, Zongming bent her hands behind her back and tied them up as well.

"What are you trying to do? Don't bully me like this, I'm so tired I just want to sleep." She said unhappily, protesting by refusing to participate in this game.

“I’m going to make you dream.” Zongming said, tying the rope binding his hands and feet in a knot behind his back, arching his body.

“I’m not kidding you. Tonight, I’m going to settle things.” Zongming said, lighting a cigarette next to his pillow.

“What kind of settlement do you want?” As if she had grasped Zongming’s intentions, Yamei’s expression turned sinister.

“You’ve been hiding a secret from me.”

“A secret?”

“Don’t play dumb. I’m asking you, are there any other men outside?”

“What do you mean? Although I’ve dated many men, it’s out of necessity, because it’s for work.”

“I’m not referring to those kinds of men. I’m referring to the men I meet here.” Zongming deliberately held the cigarette closer to the petals, expecting her to make a fierce sound, but her voice was actually quite sharp.

“Are you kidding me!”

“Who said I’m kidding? I have evidence.”

“What evidence?”

“Haven’t you noticed it yourself? Smell this.” Zongming put his finger to Yamei’s nose, making her smell it.

"What is this?"

"Don't you know?"

Yamei only began to feel afraid after smelling Zongming's fingers.

"Tonight won't be like usual. What is this? It smells like a man."

Yamei's originally rosy cheeks suddenly turned pale. Yamei felt uneasy, as if she were about to be strangled. But the more afraid she was, the more likely Zongming's guess would become true. He desperately wanted Yamei to loudly refute him.

"This smells like semen. You should be able to smell it. I haven't ejaculated yet, but there's already semen in your vagina. Perhaps you'll say it's from before, but you should know that we haven't had sex for ten days."

At this point, Zongming had no choice but to confront his wife. He couldn't care less about love, politeness, or tenderness anymore. Zongming flicked his cigarette ash onto his wife's pale abdomen.

"What do you want to do! Do you want to kill me?" Yamei screamed hysterically, her expression ferocious.

“No matter what, you must explain clearly today who ejaculated inside you? What’s his name? Was he your client? Or your ex-lover? Isn’t your first love from high school also in Tokyo? I know you two often meet up.”

“Don’t make wild guesses.”

“Wild guesses! That’s ridiculous. My eyes aren’t blind.”

Zongming, his face full of anger, brought the cigarette close to her genitals again, letting the ash fall onto her pubic hair. The ash, still burning, scorched the pubic hair, giving off a burnt smell.

“I’m a man too. As long as you tell me honestly, everything is negotiable. You can get a divorce if you want, but don’t do anything unspeakable behind my back.”

Yamei didn’t answer.

“Think it over carefully!” He opened Yamei’s labia, letting the petals hold the cigarette.

“If you don’t speak, you’ll get burned.”

“If I tell you, will you negotiate?”

“Ah! Of course.”

“It’s that person.”

“Is it the man from high school?”

Yami nodded and shouted, “Take it off right now!” She was very concerned about the cigarette stuck between her labia.

“You went on a date with him tonight, didn’t you?”

She nodded again. Yami and Haruki had an affair. She remembered them naked, licking each other’s genitals, kissing passionately, and the thing inserted between their legs stimulating their mucous membranes, making their petals almost split open, and the image of that penis thrusting.

Although he was filled with rage, Zongming restrained himself and said calmly, "So you two still love each other, then there's nothing more to say. Me too, when I think of my first love, my body still aches."

Unfortunately, Zongming didn't have a woman he could miss, but to find some terrible evidence, he asked again, "So, you want to be with him?"

"I don't know."

"Why?"

"I like you too! Because we're husband and wife."

His anger subsided slightly, but he couldn't agree with her here .

"So, you want to see who can make you happier, is that right?"

"That's not what I meant, please forgive me... I'll never see him again." "

But he's in Tokyo, and although you feel this way, he doesn't. Is he married?"

"No, he's still single."

"He's shameless, taking my wife. If he had a wife, we could swap wives." Zongming joked, but Yamei didn't answer.

Although she didn't answer, Yamei must be very troubled. This was all her own doing; let her suffer as much as

she wanted! If a woman is addicted to physical pleasure, she must pay a corresponding price. Suddenly, Zongming realized that what he envied wasn't his wife's infidelity, but rather the joy she experienced in sexual intercourse. At the same time, he remembered catching a strange, silent, expressionless newt in his hometown when he was a child, spreading its legs, exposing it to the sun, and skinning it.

If he were to inflict that punishment on Yamei, the anger simmering in his chest would be relieved.

Zongming suddenly saw the silent, naked Yamei as a newt with a pink belly and a raised cleft between her thighs.

"Where did you meet him? Was it a love hotel?"

"Yes."

"You said he's single, so have you been to his apartment?"

She didn't answer.

"To be honest."

"Yes, that's right."

"How many times have you had sex?"

"About five or six times!"

If she admitted it was five or six times, it could easily be ten.

"So, where are you meeting tonight?"

"At his apartment."

"How stingy."

Yamei acted as if she had two families.

"The problem is, do you want him or me? You need to answer honestly. Are you happier and more secure when I hug you or when he hugs you? I once heard a woman say that some men make women feel safe when they hug, while others don't."

"How am I supposed to answer that? You and I are husband and wife, we see each other every day, but I only see him occasionally, and besides, we had some sweet memories together..."

"So each has its own merits."

"Yes." Seeing that Zongming was much calmer, Yamei began to tell the truth.

"So, how much does he love you?"

"He told me he loves me more than anyone else."

"If I divorce you, would he be willing to marry you?"

"Maybe!"

"If you're so unsure, how can we resolve this? I need to ask you more specifically."

"Okay, I was just thinking of finding an opportunity to explain to you."

Yamei seemed about to explain that her infidelity was out of necessity, which made Zongming anxious, but he still asked calmly,

"When you were with him, did you make love the same way as me?"

"This..."

"Did you perform oral sex?"

She didn't answer.

Zongming assumed that Yamei considered this a dirty matter and was therefore embarrassed to answer. However, he had to get to the bottom of this.

"Did he lick your genitals during sex?"

"Uh!"

"Then, of course you would lick his genitals too!"

She didn't answer.

"I think you definitely would. At that time, were you extremely unwilling, or did you act very naturally?"

Yamei didn't know how to answer.

Zongming lit another cigarette and imagined his wife performing oral sex naturally and passionately. The sight of her thick, large penis being licked in her mouth...

Suddenly, Zongming felt a surge of jealousy rise from his back like a pillar of fire, making it hard to breathe. But he suppressed it and calmly asked,

"Is this how you tease me before every time we make love?"

She didn't answer, which meant she admitted it. Jealousy boiled in his heart like hot water, then turned into pleasure.

"You must have been very serious back then, right?" he said, looking into his wife's eyes.

Yamei didn't dare to look her husband in the eye, but she believed they should have a serious conversation, so she nodded somewhat fearfully.

At that moment, Zongming desperately wanted his wife to say something that could extinguish the fire in his chest, but Yamei only added fuel to the fire with her nod, triggering an explosion of Zongming's jealousy.

"Okay, then, I want to try it out and see which one is better before making a conclusion!"

Suddenly, Zongming took out another rope and tied his wife's body. Then, he used another rope to tie the immobile Yamei to the bed in a spread-eagle position. She looked like a salamander sunbathing on a scorching hot rock in the blazing summer sun.

"Fine, since you say so, I'll give you to that man. But I'll make sure you're beautifully dressed before I give you to him. Now, call him here, and you wait!"

Zongming acted as if he were offering his fair, naked wife as a sacrifice to a devil. Zongming left the bedroom and brought in many things: candles, tape, ribbons. Then, as if making a purse, he wrapped tape around Yamei's naked body, decorated it with ribbons, and placed candles on top.

Yamei looked at the candlelight with fear; candles are very unstable, and if they fell over,

she would be burned. A rag was stuffed into her mouth.

"This is your bridal attire, a small token of my affection. Now, call him here, and let him perform your wedding night's lovemaking in front of me! Give me his phone number."

He removed the rag from Yamei's mouth.

“I’m not kidding, tell me his phone number right now, I need to call him.” Zongming urged, holding the phone.

“I don’t remember, I don’t know.” Yamei said with difficulty, her mouth stuffed with a rag.

“Is that so? Fine! If you won’t tell me, I have a way to make you.”

He lit a candle, then parted Yamei’s petals and inserted the candle.

“If you don’t tell me, you’ll get burned.”

“Don’t do that! I’ll tell you, his address and phone number are in my purse.”

Zongming took her purse from the next room, opened it, emptied its contents, and then opened the phone book.

“Is his name Li Tishu?”

Yamei’s unclear voice was then picked up by Zongming.

"Oh! I'm Yamei's husband. She often receives your care. I'm asking you to come over now. I know it's late, but if you don't come right away, Yamei will be very pitiful. I'm waiting for you, whether it's an hour or two, you must come quickly, otherwise the candles will burn out and things will be bad. It'll take about thirty minutes by taxi from here. I'll be waiting for you." After saying that, he put down the phone.

"Why are you really doing this?" Yamei was so scared she couldn't even cry.

"Don't do this! Take it off right now, untie the rope!" She screamed, trembling all over.

"If you move again, the candle will fall over. Look, the candle in your lower body is slowly burning shorter, and the flame is getting bigger and bigger."

"Please, don't do this."

"Oh, right, this place is injured, so take the candle off here. I want to make love to you one more time."

Yamei didn't speak.

Zongming replaced the candle with his penis and inserted it, watching the wet mucous membrane, the woman's stubbornness that immediately reacted.

"Let me go! Forgive me!"

Yamei, who was tied up and unable to move, only said this sentence, but Zongming heard it as a lullaby and felt excited. He had never heard Yamei say such words before. This was a new kind of stimulation, and he wanted to hear more, such painful words.

"Forgive me!"

The penis, swelling inside the mucous membrane, became harder and harder, and the mucous membrane seemed to be expressing her will as it tightened.

Zongming began to revel in the stimulation. Of course, the phone call he had just made was fake; it was all an act. He hadn't anticipated it would bring such stimulating pleasure.

"Ah! I'm coming."

"Oh! Forgive me! Forgive me!"

Zongming hugged his wife tightly and began to ejaculate. His whole body burned with the fire of jealousy, a fire that seemed to radiate from a fire-emitting machine.

At this moment, Zongming was intoxicated by a pleasure he had never experienced before. Then, he got up and looked at his wife's black pubic hair, the cleft of her vulva, from which a white liquid flowed like milk. He licked the petals with his tongue.

Yamei didn't speak; this too was love. As if she had seen through Zongming's intentions, Yamei remained silent and ignored him.

Zongming's penis swelled again, and he thrust it into his wife's core without hesitation. He thought that in this state, he could do it again and again.

Zongming withdrew his hard penis and brought it, wet with her love juice, to his wife's mouth. Yamei took it in without hesitation.

He thought his wife would bite it off, but instead, she gently licked it with her tongue, as if she were licking ice cream.

Looking at his wife's docile expression, Zongming thought this was what a woman should be like, the kind of woman a man should be in. Only now did Zongming truly experience the joy he had never felt in their past relationship. If he untied his wife's hands and feet and let her be free, he might never experience this joy again. Therefore, he wanted his wife to remain in this state forever.

"How is it? Is it good?"

Zongming asked his wife, who was licking with her eyes closed, as if trying to show his masculinity. His wife opened her slightly swollen eyes.

Her eyes were cold and expressionless, somewhat like a salamander's. Yamei said, "Just kidding!"

These words made Zongming feel a great sense of humiliation.

"What!" Zongming's hand, like an eagle's claw, reached for Yamei's neck.

The fifth chapter, a love duet:

"Please let me be a man! Please, Xiumei, I love you, I will never leave you. You should know I don't want you to do this, but there's no other way..." Husband Minxiong held his wife Xiumei tightly, saying these words during sex.

He gently bit his wife's earlobe, his penis already inserted into her labia, slowly moving up and down.

"Get ready, if you don't want to, just tell me," Minxiong said, tears streaming down his face.

"Are you serious?"

"How can I joke about something like this?"

"If you really mean it, although I'm not very willing, I'll consider it as if I died to accompany him this once. But if you complain about me in the future because of this, then I don't want it."

"I won't be that despicable!"

"That's good."

At this moment, his wife Xiumei hugged Minxiong's back tightly from below, pressing her mouth against his head and sucking hard.

Minxiong was thirty-six years old, and his wife Xiumei was twenty-eight. Min-xiong runs a lumber mill, which has recently been hit hard by the appreciation of the Japanese yen. His checks, borrowed from loan sharks, are nearing maturity, and he's unable to repay the debts, putting him at risk of bankruptcy. However, the loan shark, Yao-hui, has fallen for his wife, Hsiu-mei.

"Just once, if your wife sleeps with me for one night, I can figure out how to solve the check problem," Yao-hui suggests to Min-xiong, a suggestion that leaves him unsure whether to be happy or sad.

This is a difficult situation. The family business he inherited from his father is facing potential bankruptcy and despair, yet he can't be angry about this suggestion; instead, he clings to a sliver of hope. But then again, how can a man let his wife do such a thing?

With the deadline for the bounced checks approaching, Min-xiong is on edge, unable to refuse, especially since Yao-hui's condition is that the loan be written off.

However, Min-xiong doesn't dare tell Hsiu-mei directly, only revealing the truth when he's drunk and embracing his wife.

Xiumei understood the urgency of the situation, especially since they had a child together. For the child's future, Xiumei wanted to prevent the business from collapsing.

"If you promise, I'll close my eyes, but don't let this ruin our love."

"Of course, of course, I won't blame you."

As a man, he was in no way inferior to Yaohui, whether in age or appearance. Although he was very confident in himself, the thought of giving his wife to someone else would be emotionally draining.

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