A free-spirited couple living next door

Z lives next door to me; we share an apartment. Z's catchphrase is: "People are either extremely vulgar or extremely
refined; being stuck in the middle, neither vulgar nor refined, is the most frustrating!

" Z says he'll never be extremely refined, but he has "quite" the potential to be extremely vulgar. Z
lives up to his word; in daily life, his speech and actions are incredibly vulgar. What's even more incredible is that he found a
wife just as vulgar as him, and they're a perfect match. Below are some of their everyday conversations—absolutely true.

Z's favorite thing to do is touch his wife's breasts. Every evening after dinner, Z's wife would watch TV
dramas in the living room. Usually, Z would lie on the sofa, his head resting on his wife's thigh, and put his hand
inside her pajamas, kneading and squeezing them incessantly, like kneading dough, while rhythmically shouting, "Touch
grandma! Touch grandma!" (His tone was similar to shouting "Charge!" in anti-Japanese war films, only with a more passionate, almost
sexual, tone.)

Z's wife was completely immersed in the drama, sometimes sad, sometimes
laughing, only snapping out of it during commercials to pat Z's head and say, "Sweetie, touch the one on the left, this one's bigger
!" Even if I was right next to her, Z would still touch them without hesitation. When he was really into it, he would enthusiastically invite me, "Hey,
give me 50 yuan in game coins (Z and I were playing the same online game), touch my wife's breasts!"
Ugh!

Once, we were having dinner at home. Z's wife was sitting across from me wearing a low-cut sundress. When she leaned forward to pick up food,
I got a clear view of her breasts (Z's wife's breasts were indeed top-notch, round and perky; no wonder Z was so
enthusiastic about them).

After eating for a while, Z noticed my gaze was off, grabbed his hand and put it on his wife's chest, then
yelled at her, "Wearing such a low-cut dress, everyone can see everything!"

Just as I was feeling embarrassed, Z's wife gently pushed her husband's hand away and
said to me with a nonchalant and magnanimous air, "Hey, it's okay. I don't wear a bra at home in the summer. You can look all you want!" Z was speechless,
and so was I.

One evening after dinner, we were taking a walk when Z suddenly turned to his wife with a fawning and lewd smile and said, "Wife
, how about we go home and fuck tonight?"

Z has a loud voice, and he's used to shouting "touch breasts" without restraint at home, so
he didn't control his voice well and immediately attracted surprised looks from passersby.

Z himself realized he'd gone a bit too far, turned around, and walked away obediently. Only his wife calmly continued
to agree with Z's suggestion: "Sure, let's go all out tonight!" Ugh!

Once, Z's wife said Z's sexual performance was poor, and Z retorted, "I'm known as 'Three Times a Night'!"

Z's wife: "It just means you only last three minutes each time, and you'll say things like, 'If you ever make me
unable to get out of bed for days, you're a real jerk!'"

Z's wife often complains to me in front of Z that Z is too fat, doesn't like to move, and isn't enthusiastic about sex .
She says he only likes to touch her breasts, and even when they do have sex, she's always on top, and Z just lies sprawled on the bed, motionless
, letting her do as she pleases.

I think Z's wife's unspoken message is: This kind of man is just a cheap vibrator
.

I asked them how often they have sex? Z's wife said, "It's hard to even get it once a month." After saying that,
she cursed, "You don't even get it once a month, damn it, it's not even as good as menstruation!"

That's when I really felt angry! Z is as fat as a pig, yet he found a wife with such a hot body.
What's worse, she's a hog who doesn't poop! And he even hates that he has all that brute force but no land to cultivate!

Z's wife has a huge appetite. Once, she sweetly told Z, "You're
lucky to have a wife like me. Other women always want you to treat them to Western food, but I can be fed steamed buns and mantou every day. I'm so easy
to feed!"

Z was furious: "Easy to feed my ass! You'll make my steamed buns and mantou cost as much as Western food!"

Another time, Z's wife went to karaoke with her colleagues and didn't come home until late. Z called her: "What are you doing
?"

Z's wife: "Singing karaoke with my colleagues."

Z raised his voice and asked, "Did any men touch your breasts?"

Z's wife: "They wanted to, but I didn't."

Z: "Okay, good. You can hang up now!"

One night, Z's wife was engrossed in playing "Connect the Dots" in the bedroom. Z walked in and grabbed his
wife's breasts, saying, "Go take a shower now!"

Z's wife replied without looking up, "It's still early, I'll shower later."

Z tightened his grip on his wife's breasts and said, "Go wash up right now, then give me a blowjob!"

Once I asked Z's wife, "Do you and your husband do that?"

Z's wife: "Which?"

Me: "You mean... um..." (pointing to her mouth. Familiar as we are, and as unrestrained as we are, it's still
not a good question to ask directly.)

Z's wife is very perceptive and immediately understood: "Oh, you mean oral sex? Yes!" (Answered
very readily.)

Me: "..."

Z's wife: "But usually I'm the one giving him oral sex, he never gives me any. That jerk, he
never does anything that puts him at a disadvantage!"

Me: "..."

Once we were watching a variety show together in the living room. Zhang Yu came out to sing "Bitter Heart," and Z suddenly stopped
his hand that was wriggling inside his wife's pajamas, saying, "Wife!"

Z's wife: "Um..."

Z: "You said you were a virgin, but you insisted on having me fuck you. Inserting and pulling out, it really feels so good
(singing to the tune of 'Bitter Heart')!"

P.S.: Afterwards, I asked Z, "Where did you learn that?" He said he improvised it himself. I think
Z is really impressive!

One night, I was sleeping in my room when, in the middle of the night, Z came and knocked on my bedroom door: "Open the door quickly!"

Me: "What is it?"

Z: "Open the door and I'll tell you, it's urgent!"

I opened the door, and Z poked his head in mysteriously, saying, "I'm about to have sex with my wife, so
listen carefully!"

Once, a friend of mine stayed at my house for the night. Since we got home late, Z and his wife were already asleep
and didn't know we had a stranger in the house.

The next morning, half-asleep, I heard Z's wife scream "Ah!" I jumped out of bed
and saw my friend walking in from the living room, looking embarrassed. I went outside and saw Z's wife
standing in the living room wearing only underwear and a bra (the sexy kind, see-through).

At this moment, Z came out and asked very seriously, "What's wrong?"

Z's wife said, "I just came out of the shower..." (Because we're so familiar, Z's wife is very uninhibited in front of me, but
she's still a little shy in front of strangers.)

I also felt a little awkward at the time, and Z's expression was also a bit off. I was about to explain to Z that my friend didn't
mean it, but before I could even open my mouth, Z pointed at his wife and started cursing: "Damn it,
making such a fuss so early in the morning! What's with all the yelling?! Can't I even get a peaceful sleep? It's not like you're completely naked!"

Z's wife is a shopaholic. Once, she went shopping alone and bought a dress that cost over 800 yuan.
Z was furious when he saw it and yelled, "You woman are a spendthrift! Extravagant! Extremely extravagant!"

Z's wife immediately retorted, "You worthless man, you can't even earn money, yet you're still extravagant!"

Z got angry: "How am I being extravagant? How am I being extravagant? I only earn two thousand yuan a month, and you always
cut off half of my clothes when you buy them, so I can only smoke Wu Niu cigarettes!"

Z's wife: "So what if I spend a few hundred yuan? You always grab my breasts and touch them, and you don't pay me! You only
earn two thousand yuan a month, and you dare to find a wife who spends a thousand yuan a month, what else is that if not extravagance?!"

Z: "..."

After the two argued that day, Z's wife stormed off and didn't come home until 11 p.m. Z was getting restless at home
, losing interest in his games. He asked me, "That big-breasted woman is out so late, won't
someone grope her breasts?"

I replied, "If you're worried, just call her and ask!"

Z said, "Call her my foot! I'm not giving in this time. If I give in this time, she'll dare to buy you another pair of pants that cost
1800 yuan next time."

Around midnight, Z's wife called. Before answering, Z said smugly,
"On matters of principle, never compromise. See? That slut called to apologize herself!"

After answering the phone and exchanging a few words, Z angrily slammed the phone onto the bed, cursing, "That damn slut
, calling me in such a sarcastic tone saying she bought another pair of pants that cost over 500 yuan tonight!"

One evening at dinner, Z said to his wife, "Honey, how about we go to the park after dinner
?"

Z's wife happily replied, "Ah!? Goodness, you usually just stay home playing games all day, but today..."
"Why is the weather

Z: "Wife, you misunderstood. It's not a walk, I want to have some 'outdoor sex'."

Z's wife: "..."

One Sunday, Z and I went shopping. As we walked downstairs, a girl in a low-cut top approached.
Z and I both stared lecherously at her chest. As she got closer, Z, half-laughing and half-crying, said to me, "I remembered
what I just did, it was disgusting!"

While I was still confused, I heard the girl in the low-cut top call out to Z, "Brother!" (His sister had recently permed her hair
and was wearing makeup, so Z didn't recognize her from a distance.)

Putting myself in her shoes, it really was disgusting.

Z's sister stayed at our place that night, sleeping with Z's wife, while Z slept in the living room. Z's sister and Z's wife
changed into their pajamas and were about to close the door when Z yelled, "Don't close it yet!"

Z's wife: "What else is it?"

Z: "Touch your breasts again before you go to sleep!"

Ugh!

One day, Z's wife proactively said to Z, "Honey, go take a shower, then we'll do oral sex."

Z looked at his wife with disdain: "You're such a vulgar woman, always talking about 'oral sex'."

Z's wife: "You say it all the time too!"

Z: "I don't say 'oral sex' anymore, now it's all about 'oral explosion'!"

One morning, Z's wife screamed in the bathroom: "Ouch! My goodness, my mouth is bleeding."

Z, half asleep in bed, said impatiently, "You do this every month,
what's the big deal?"

Z's wife: "It's from above!"

Z: "Oh, it's nothing, it's just a side effect of oral sex!"

One day, Z's wife said to Z, "There's a guy at my workplace who wants to pick me up, he asked me to dinner tonight."

Z: "Don't go!"

Z's wife: "Don't worry, I won't let him touch my breasts, it's just dinner!"

Z: "Hmm..."

Z's wife came home that night.

Z: "Did he touch my breasts?"

Z's wife: "No, he bought me a lot of food, I brought some back for you."

Z grabbed it and started eating with relish.

A few days later.

Z's wife: "That guy asked me to go to karaoke again."

Z: "Which guy?"

Z's wife: "The one who asked me to dinner and bought me a lot of food."

Z: "Oh, go ahead! Have fun." That night, Z's wife brought back a pile of food again, and Z still asked if she had been touched, to which she replied no. A few days later. Z's wife: "That guy asked me to go

again

tonight

.

"

Z: "You're not allowed to go."

Z's wife: "I brought you some good food."

Z: "If you dare go, I'll break your legs! Enough is enough, if you go again today, he'll definitely..."
"My wife ate me up." (It seems Z understands the principle that "there's no such thing as a free lunch.")

Z's wife works as a secretary at a company. One day, she came home from work.

Z's wife said, "Today I accompanied our department manager to meet a client. That client was very lecherous; he kept
staring at my chest with a lustful look."

Z nonchalantly replied, "Who told you to have such big breasts!" Z's wife retorted

, "Isn't it because you made them big for me!"

Z continued, "Did that bastard want to beat you up and eat you?"

Z's wife said, "That's exactly what he meant. After dinner, he even asked me if I was a virgin, and I didn't answer him."

Z lewdly laughed and said, "You slut, why didn't you answer him? If he asks you again, just
say you're a virgin, absolutely a virgin, you're just pretending!"

Z's wife replied even more forcefully, "Virgin! You've already worn me out by that bastard, and you still call me a virgin!" (

Sweat!)

One day, as soon as I walked in the door, Z proudly told me, "I had sex with my wife this afternoon."

I asked Z's wife, "Really?" (Z often lied, so I usually asked his wife to confirm
.)

Z's wife laughed and replied, "It's true today."

I said, "Oh! You used up your quota for this month ahead of time?"

Z: "Haha! I was afraid you wouldn't believe me, so I recorded my wife moaning, a full thirty minutes!
I have the evidence in my hand today, let's see if you won't admit it, you little bastard." (People who didn't know better would think I'd been caught cheating on Z's wife
.)

Before I could say anything, Z's wife interjected, "Don't believe him, it was only three minutes, he pressed the repeat button
..."

Another time, Z came back from a business trip, beaming, and invited a few of us friends out for a meal. During the meal, a friend jokingly
asked, "Z, you probably went to see a prostitute this time."

Z's wife was nearby, so Z quickly replied, "No, no, I was very busy this time, time was
extremely tight, I didn't have time to see a prostitute!"

Z's wife then stopped eating and said to Z sourly, "Busy? You couldn't even spare three minutes
?"

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A free-spirited couple living next door

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