The cost of leaving the rural area with a pass

Professor Liu Xiaoting has passed away. She was my master's thesis advisor. She was only 56 years old this year. Professor Liu
died alone. It wasn't that she didn't want to love, nor that she didn't want to be loved. It's just that the memory of that period, now history, left
too deep a mark on her, not only damaging her body but also her life.

I only heard about it from my mentor when I was about to graduate; at that time, she had uterine cancer. I was shocked and ashamed that this land
had such a history. When my mentor's trembling hand placed my master's cap on my head, she gave me a yellowed diary
. It recorded this history. On the title page, she pasted a piece of paper and wrote three lines in blood-red ink:

"When I am no longer in this world,

you can publicly remember

this. History should not be forgotten.

Remember: This is a special event that happened in a special era, a true story almost forgotten by society
. History has the right to let future generations know it, and we hope that history will not repeat itself.

—Epigraph"

In the back room of the gynecology examination room of the hospital. A narrow bed, only 50 centimeters wide.

She slowly withdrew her fingers from the woman's vagina, the lead weight in her heart growing heavier. She was her eighth
patient today. Without exception, none were virgins, and almost all had old, worn-out hymens; according to her knowledge
and experience, they had at least three years of sexual history.

"You are not a virgin," the doctor said softly, so softly that only the patient could hear.

"Auntie, I am," the patient's voice was also soft, but pale.

"I'm a doctor, child."

"Please, Auntie. This is my only..." The patient knelt down with a thud, her head hitting the concrete
floor with a resounding thud.

Before she could hit it again, the doctor helped her up: "I know, child. I have a daughter in the countryside.
"

The doctor's eyes were already blurry. "I wonder when she can come back?"

The doctor picked up the "Worker-Peasant-Soldier Student Recommendation Form" and heavily checked the "Hymen" section
. The patient bowed deeply to the doctor in gratitude.

She left the hospital. The sky was azure. But her heart was still bleeding. The memories under the darkness left her with too many wounds
. She would not forget, nor could she forget.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

"Educated youth go to the countryside..." It was an era of worship and superstition.

Tingting graduated from high school that year. She was already a graceful young woman, fully developed. She possessed
all the best qualities of her parents, so beautiful that people dared not look directly at her.

No matter how beautiful she was, she could not stay in Shanghai. Like millions of other educated youth, she packed her meager
belongings and went to a farm near the border in Xishuangbanna, Yunnan, to reclaim barren mountains and plant rubber trees with the local farmers
. Soon, the farm where she worked became part of the XX Military Region XX Production and Construction Corps, and a large number of active-duty
soldiers entered the corps, taking up all the major positions from company commander to higher. Tingting was excited for a long time, believing that she
had become a soldier. Although people called her a quasi-soldier.

But she never imagined that her personality and life would be ruthlessly trampled in this beautiful place.

The misfortune began one morning.

"Beep...beep beep...da da!" Tingting woke up to the first bugle call. With
the speed and agility of a soldier, she put on her short-sleeved shirt, trousers, and leech covers, donned her headlamp, slung her katana basket over her shoulder, slipped on her
liberation shoes, and ran out of the thatched hut.

Outside, headlamps flickered; it was still not fully light. Even when it was bright, the towering
shadows of the oak forest would block out the dawn; the oak forest would only be bright when the sun shone. Each of them had
their own section of the forest; Tingting's five hundred trees were deep within the oak grove. Every day at this time, Tingting was afraid because wild
boars roamed the area. She had heard of a male educated youth whose thigh had been bitten off by a wild boar with a single snout.

"Whoosh, whoosh!" A sound rang out. She trembled as she raised her head, gripping her incredibly sharp katana tightly.

"Who's there?" she shouted with all her might, her voice trembling.

"It's me, Company Commander."

Following the voice, she saw a beam of light; the Company Commander, wearing a headlamp, was helping her tap rubber. She felt relieved.

The Company Commander appeared almost daily in various sections of the forest, checking production or helping beginners and slow tappers.

Tingting had a very good impression of the Company Commander. He was tall, handsome, and kind; she'd heard he was
the sharpshooter of the entire regiment, and she admired him greatly, now feeling immense gratitude. Because the Company Commander had been visiting her more frequently these past few days
, she could finish tapping the rubber one to two hours faster than usual.

Today was no different. After pooling the rubber with the Company Commander, they prepared to head back.

The Company Commander said, "Let's rest for a while."

She nodded and followed him to a small clearing at the top of the mountain. As soon as the Company Commander reached the top, he
spread out the tarpaulin hanging from his waist, sat down, and then let Tingting sit beside him.

"Wipe your sweat," the Company Commander said, handing her a towel.

Tingting took the towel, wiped the sweat from her forehead, waved it to
shoo away the mosquitoes, and then looked for leeches. Just then, she felt a strong hand crawl up her back, as if trying to drive something away. She was
grateful and smiled at the company commander. The company commander was smiling too, his eyes burning with a desire she had never seen before.

She didn't quite understand why he was smiling like that.

It wasn't until his hand moved to her chest, trying to unbutton her shirt, that she began to feel dazed.

As usual, Tingting wasn't wearing a bra today. Partly because of the heat of Xishuangbanna,
but more importantly, they were required to "re-educate" like the local farmers.

Tingting's breasts were much whiter and more alluring than those of the rural girls the company commander had seen near the camp. The white "Dacron" shirt she brought from home was semi-transparent, and her pink areolas

were faintly visible .
When working, sweat soaks through the shirt, making the breast contours more prominent; even without
taking off the shirt, the front half of the breast is clearly visible.

Tingting covered her clothes with her hands, but the company commander pried her hands away. She struggled violently, and the company commander, no longer gentle,
slapped her hard across the face. She was stunned, not understanding why the company commander was hitting her.

What happened next confused her even more. The company commander quickly stripped off his clothes, standing naked
in front of Tingting, grabbing her hair with one hand and holding his penis in the other, authoritatively commanding, "Open your mouth!
"

Tingting saw a mature man's penis for the first time, and her face immediately flushed red with shame. Before she could think, the authoritative
command was repeated: "Open your mouth!" Then, the hand holding his penis was freed,
and another slap landed on her face, which already bore five handprints!

Tingting didn't want to be slapped again, so she opened her mouth.

"Open it wider!" Tingting opened it as wide as she could.

The company commander grasped his penis and shoved it into her mouth. The hand that had grabbed her hair moved to the back of her head and forcefully thrust it towards his
crotch. Tingting felt her throat being pierced by the company commander's penis, almost suffocating. She
tried to push him away with both hands, but all her efforts were in vain.

The company commander's penis began to thrust in and out of her mouth, and just as she was feeling the discomfort, she received another slap across the face:
"Damn it! You're from Shanghai, and you don't even know how to suck a dick." His penis grew longer and
thicker in her mouth, making her tears and snot flow. At that moment, she felt worse than death.

The penis left her numb mouth. She breathed a sigh of relief, thinking it was over. Before she could catch her breath
, the company commander grabbed her clothes and ripped them open, causing her full, erect, snow-white breasts and tender nipples
to sprang out. She instinctively covered them with her hands.

"Take your hands off!" The voice was still authoritative, and somewhat hoarse. Tingting dared not disobey.

Tingting was laid flat on the ground, face up. The company commander bit one of her nipples,
sending waves of pain through her. She had to beg him to be gentler. Her nipples were bitten alternately, tears streaming down her face,
onto her hair, and dripping onto the tarpaulin the company commander had brought.

The company commander spread his legs, pressing his entire weight onto her lower body. She shifted, hoping for
some comfort.

"What? Getting horny? Want it? Okay!" A hand deftly unbuckled Tingting's belt and
slipped between her legs. Tingting was instantly terrified. She knew what the company commander was going to do, but she could only stare,
speechless and helpless.

She dared not cry out. The pressure was immense: the company commander's power, the red collar insignia, the red cap badge—all exuded an
air of authority! In that era when the XX Army's prestige and status were at their peak, saying even half a bad word about them would
earn you the label of "destroying our Great Wall" and would be treated as a counter-revolutionary!

The company commander, like a warrior in battle, raised his hard, bayonet-like penis and thrust it into Tingting's tender vagina,
possessing her frantically like a beast devouring a small animal. Tingting instinctively resisted a few times, but she was so powerless, almost helplessly
enduring the pain and trauma of her first time being penetrated by a man.

Afterwards, the company commander stroked her, making many promises to her: joining the Youth League, joining the Party, promotion, and so on. She
didn't hear a word, only wept. The company commander patted the mud and leaves clinging to his body, stood up satisfied,
put away his tarp, wiped his penis with leaves, removing the virgin blood and filth left on it, hummed
an unknown tune, and left Tingting behind, walking away.

Losing her virginity might not haunt Tingting for the rest of her life, because virginity is worthless.

What's valuable is love, but the rape Tingting suffered when she lost her virginity, which she dared not speak out about, was not love!

The company commander came to find her again, and she desperately refused. This time, the company commander didn't use force. But the next day, Tingting was transferred
to manage the sluice gate at a small reservoir twenty miles away, working from dawn till dusk every day. She wasn't afraid of working under the stars and moon; what she feared were
the two local men, even more burly than the company commander, who spent their days staring at her breasts and groin.

A week later, she gave in and gave the company commander a hint. The company commander accompanied her to watch the sluice gate for a day, and in front of
the two burly men, he took off her pants. The next day, she was transferred back.

From then on, Tingting became the company commander's tool for sexual gratification.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Two years later, a document arrived, allowing educated youth to transfer to different areas. With the help of a friend of her father's, Tingting
transferred to another production team without soldiers.

On her first day reporting for duty, the production team leader asked her, "Why did you transfer here?"

She said, "I didn't adapt well there."

The leader asked, "How did you not adapt?"

She said, "I, I..." She didn't know how to explain, and she hadn't expected this question.

"Is it... that... that thing... haha, still embarrassed? You transferred teams because of this. Okay,
work hard here, ah!" The leader's lewd gaze fixed on her prominent breasts.

She avoided that very familiar gaze, feeling fear again, as if she had escaped a tiger's den only to fall into a wolf's.

...

"I must leave here." This was Tingting's only thought.

Late at night, a few sparse stars hung in the sky. Taking advantage of the darkness, Tingting numbly pushed open
the door of the production team leader's house and walked in, step by step, her steps heavy.

"Team leader..." Tingting called out, but stopped when she saw the leader's lecherous gaze.

"Oh, Tingting. Come and sit down!" There was still half a bottle of Erguotou on the table, and a small plate of peanuts beside it.

Tingting slowly walked over and sat down on the bench opposite the captain, her bottom almost touching the floor.

"Here, have a drink!" The captain filled his own glass and handed it to Tingting; the alcohol had made
his eyes slightly blurry.

"No, I can't drink. You drink it yourself." Tingting pushed the glass back to the captain.

"What? You can't drink? How dare you disrespect me!" The captain suddenly raised his voice, startling Tingting.

"Look!" The captain pulled a dirty black bag from somewhere under the table. He unzipped
it and took out a piece of paper and a small box. Tingting knew it was a worker-peasant-soldier student recommendation form, and the box contained...
It was the production team's official seal.

Tingting reached for the wine glass, tilted her head back, and poured it dry.

"Cough...cough cough..." A violent cough turned Tingting's face bright red.

"No rush, drink slowly, there's plenty of time." The team leader walked up to Tingting, patted her back, and then
began to grope her from head to toe, all the way down to her buttocks.

Tingting didn't dare to flinch; she knew what the team leader wanted.

"Team leader, should I fill out the form first?" Tingting wanted to finish this important matter while the team leader was still somewhat sensible.

"Okay, okay. Go inside and fill it out." The team leader put away the worker-peasant-soldier student recommendation form and the seal, grabbed his bag, and
left.

Tingting's eyes were lifeless, like a lamb being offered as a sacrifice. Tears streamed down her face. She had no choice but to follow
him inside.

A flickering oil lamp illuminated the inner room. The team leader looked at Tingting with a rude smile, and Tingting felt a chill run down her spine.

The captain ripped open Tingting's clothes and, with his calloused, rough hands, roughly kneaded
her mature breasts, his breath reeking of alcohol. Tingting didn't dare turn
her face away, letting his foul mouth touch her lips and then penetrate her mouth.

He pushed her down onto the sweaty, pungent wooden bed. She didn't scream, afraid of being heard, but her heart
and lower body ached. She was still menstruating, but the captain said, "If you miss today, there won't be tomorrow." His
body was already very strong, and the alcohol made him even more powerful.

"Today, I'll make sure you remember me, remember me for the rest of your life!" The captain turned Tingting over. She didn't know
what he was going to do, or why he spoke so harshly.

"Stick your ass up!" The captain's words chilled Tingting; she understood what he wanted.

"Captain, please, just do it from the front! It's never been done from the back before..."

"That's why I want it, if it's been done before, I wouldn't even bother!" The captain slapped Tingting's white buttocks hard
, leaving five bloody welts on her tender skin. The captain spat on his penis
, moistened a finger in his mouth, and then shoved it into Tingting's anus.

"Ah!!" Tingting didn't care if anyone could hear; it hurt too much.

"Please don't do it from behind, I really can't take it anymore." Tingting pleaded, hoping the captain would have mercy.

But she immediately felt something thicker being inserted into her anus, the excruciating pain causing her to collapse.

"Get up! You little slut! Stick your slutty ass up for me! If you don't, I won't stamp it!"

The captain's words weren't just a threat; he had the power, and no one would question it.

Tingting gritted her teeth and stuck out her buttocks, hoping he would finish quickly. But he was in the middle of it all, going on and on,
touching her sagging breasts with one hand while slapping her already bloodied buttocks with the other. Tingting
could only grit her teeth and endure, her lips bitten until they bled, blood dripping from her mouth onto the filthy sheets.

Finally, it was over. When Tingting stood up from the bed, her whole body ached. As she slowly dressed, the production team
stamped the form with a large, blood-red seal. Tingting took the job application form, tears falling again. She looked at the bright red
seal, at the bloodstains on the sheets from her body, all equally bright red. She still had to go to the production

team, the commune, to shed tears, to bleed…

Tingting had exchanged her body for a pass to leave the countryside.

No! Absolutely not! Was it merely a physical price?!

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Additional details:

One day in 1974. Hekou County, Yunnan. The 16th Regiment of the Production and Construction Corps was stationed there. A dozen light machine guns and
two heavy machine guns were under martial law. This was a
public trial presided over by a military tribunal, in accordance with the spirit of the Central Committee's official document on combating the persecution of educated youth. A dozen prisoners stood trembling in a row. Another dozen armed soldiers stood in
a row, automatic rifles held level. At a command, they pulled the triggers.
After each soldier emptied their rifles, they ran away from the execution ground. Two policemen with pistols went over and fired finishing shots at the surviving prisoners.

All those being tried were active-duty officers of the XX Army!

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The cost of leaving the rural area with a pass

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