The story of turning over a debt abyss

page views:1 Publication date:2023-08-12行走人

I am a woman, a woman who was once full of confidence and never gave up. I was a workshop director in a state-owned textile factory, and my husband was a civil servant. We had been married for over 20 years, and to be honest, our life was absolutely fine. However, who could have imagined that an accidental application for a credit card would lead our family down a path of despair?
It was 2016. My husband came home from get off work and said he had applied for a credit card because his boss's wife worked at a bank and he had to meet his sales targets. He wanted me to apply for one too, since his boss's wife said it wouldn't look good if I didn't.
With the credit card, we started swiping it, intentionally or unintentionally. Before we knew it, the amount we were using was increasing, and our salaries were gradually becoming insufficient. At this point, our phones seemed to understand us perfectly, constantly popping up various loan offers and asking about our credit limits. We thought, "This sounds good; we can use the loan to pay off the credit card, and the installment payments won't be too much of a burden." Little did we know, in less than three years, the two of us had accumulated over a million yuan in debt. To this day, I still don't understand how we ended up with so much. We paid off a lot of debt in three years, but the debt didn't decrease.
My husband was humiliated when debt collectors came to his workplace. He had no choice but to resign from his government job and start a small business in another city. I couldn't bear this debt-ridden, separated life either. In the end, I also resigned and went to Langfang with my husband.
2019 marked the beginning of an unbearable period of hardship. We worked from dawn till dusk, commuting between Beijing and Langfang. I often cried secretly, feeling that fate had been unfair to me. My husband was under immense pressure every day, exhausted from running his business and constantly harassed by phone calls.
One day, the two of us were lying in bed, and my husband asked me, "Do you believe in fate?" I looked back at him and said, "Many times you have no choice but to believe, and many times you are unwilling to believe."
My husband said, "I never believed it before. With my job, I'd have a certain status wherever I went, and my future should be bright. But who would have thought things would turn out like this?"
I said, "Yes."
My husband said, "You regret marrying me, don't you?"
I said I regretted it a long time ago, but there was nothing I could do.
My husband said, "Why don't you go find a man?"
I glanced back at you, and you said, "Are you crazy?"
My husband showed me 69.net. I glanced at it a few times and said, "I'm not in the mood to look at this. If it weren't for marital obligations, I wouldn't even be in the mood for sex."
My husband said, "No, I read a Taoist article the other day. It talked about why some families fall into a deep abyss. Actually, families need balance. For example, if the man in the family is very capable and successful in society, then a woman must be involved. Otherwise, excessive yang energy will cause illness. However, sex is difficult to control, and many people can't manage it. Too many women will cause yin energy to rise, damaging one's career. Furthermore, when the family's finances are severely depleted, the woman's complexion will be haggard, and she's not far from illness. This is where the man's involvement is needed to boost yang energy. To put it simply, look at those women who frequently seek out men—aren't they short of money? Aren't they all thriving? But there can't be too many. Too many, and the man's fortune will suffer."
However, all of this refers to secretly seeking out men and women, which seriously jeopardizes family stability. In other words, many families break up before even reaching that point. Therefore, the games played by high-achieving individuals are precisely what the poor will never understand. For example, consider swapping; ask how many poor people would accept that? Yet, the games high-achieving individuals most frequently play are these: balancing yin and yang, leading to good health and a smooth career. This also includes couples finding a woman to enhance yin energy and a man to enhance yang energy. These activities are incomprehensible to the poor. The main reason is that the poor fear loss; they are already poor, and losing them would be even more devastating.
Therefore, a woman from a poor family might secretly have an affair behind her husband's back. However, if you asked her to have a threesome, even if she desperately wanted to try it, she wouldn't agree. Even if the man in the threesome had already been with other men before, but her husband was unaware, she still wouldn't agree to the three of them together.
The universe is vast, mysterious, and ineffable.
After listening to my husband's story, I asked him after a while, "If you watched your husband being sexually assaulted by another man, wouldn't you be jealous?"
My husband said with a stern face that he would definitely be jealous. But I want to try.
I said, as adults, in your men's terms, it's no big deal to have sex with someone. But from now on, you'll look down on me.
My husband said, "We're burdened by over a million yuan in debt. You've sacrificed so much for the family, so why should I look down on you?" In the end, isn't it just that my husband is incompetent?
I said, "Sigh, go to sleep. I'm tired."
My husband sent me 69 (a Chinese online forum), and I've been browsing through various articles in my spare time. To be honest, I feel like most of them are fake. But my husband wants me to look at the photos; surely photos aren't fake? I think so, but I don't know what to do.
One day, during a casual chat, my husband brought up the topic again. I said, "I've read some articles, and I agree with a passage in one of them. It says that most women are secretly horny, and you can test that. For example, massage, vibrators, sex in a car, outdoors, seductive lingerie, taking photos, having sex without drawing the curtains, reading 69 articles, etc. If she can do all these things, then the reason this woman is unwilling to play a threesome isn't because she's conservative, nor is it about being proper or improper; it's because she's afraid of her husband disliking her later."
My husband said I had a threesome video on my phone, and then he took out his phone and showed it to me. I watched several clips with great curiosity. At that moment, I was wondering to myself, could this woman really experience such intense pleasure? But the video looked very close to reality.
My husband said these are all ordinary people I met online, sent to me by netizens. Many people do this in real life. They say women live on sexual fantasies, but when you watch these videos, do you ever fantasize that the woman in the video is yourself?
I said, "Of course there is. Your wife isn't made of wood. It's just that I'm thinking, if I find a young man born in the 90s, will he look down on me when he sees me as a body double? If I find an old man, I feel like I'm getting the short end of the stick."
My husband laughed. He said, "It's not as simple as you think. You see, if you're willing, we'll have to look for someone. For example, we'll look at his photos, or you can secretly peek at him during video chats and get a feel for him. If you feel he's pretty good, then we'll arrange for him to meet up for a meal or something."
I said, "You won't regret it?" It's easy to say, but even if you feel excited at the time, after a while, you'll definitely think I'm unclean, and then I'll never be able to hold my head up in front of you again.
My husband said, "It's impossible for me not to care. But we've been married for over 20 years, and you know I've been with other women. My first thought is to give you a good orgasm, to let you experience life. As for wealth and yang energy, we'll let nature take its course. Relax, these past few years of debt have made me depressed."
I said I didn't have anyone I knew around me.
My husband sat up abruptly. "Are you trying to scare me to death? This kind of thing has to be done with a stranger. Frankly, the first time is just finding you a tool, you can think of it as a sex toy. The first time is usually not very comfortable because everyone is nervous, afraid of this and that. So the first time is just a tool; cleanliness, health, and sincerity are all that matter. Find a partner for a better life, for a woman's orgasm, for abundant yang energy. Mutual trust is essential."
After saying that, my husband took out a dildo and a blindfold from beside the pillow. "Come on, let me put on a little show," he said, then put the blindfold on me. I wondered what this guy was up to. Was there a single man outside the door? Didn't the article say that husbands and single men team up to seduce their wives? My mind was filled with all sorts of wild thoughts.
At this moment, my husband spread my legs apart and slowly inserted himself. He didn't say anything, just thrusting for about half a minute before pulling out and saying, "Next, it's time for someone else."
我心里咯噔一下，不会是真的吧。结果我想多了。老公说完话，拿着假阳具插了进来。此刻我几乎忍不住都要笑出来。假装配合着他，但是，脑子却幻想着我心里暗恋过的人。有时能看清，有时看不清，幻想在持续，也不知道是谁在和我做爱，一种无名的快乐冲了出来。
老公在继续自导自演，而我早已经听不清他在说什么话，幻觉越来越强烈。就在这时候，假阳具被拔出，老公又进来了，我的脑子很乱很乱，幻想着两个男人正在轮番轰炸让我不知不觉中哼哼起来。可我还是想尽一切办法控制自己，千万别没出息，让老公看不起。
不知道最后如何，反正我睡着了。一直睡到第二天上午10点多才醒过来。
老公早已经做好了早餐，面对面吃饭，我突然感觉很尴尬。脑子里再次出现幻觉。我怎么这么没出息呢，我是不是很贱啊，都50岁的人了，怎么还能有这样的想法。
老公似乎看出了我的想法。对我说，昨晚你表现的很棒，结婚20多年，我好像从来没有过昨晚的样子，让我很开心。虽然不是我一个人的能力，借用了工具，但是依然让我有巨大的成就感。是我让老婆飘了起来。
我很不好意思，估计脸很红。
老公继续说，回头我联系联系网友，看看有没有适合的人选。如果你感觉适合，再研究以后。
我没说话。或许我选择了默认，也可能是真的有内心的期待。
就这样，老公经常把聊天记录给我看，包括对方发过来的一些照片视频。有夫妻发来的“坦诚照”，也有单男发来了粗又大。我一般都会说，我不看。其实，那玩意看一眼就行，还能盯着看没完啊。
大概两个月的一天，老公和一个网友视频，老公让我出镜，我没同意，但我还是忍不住偷偷地看了对方。是一个30岁不到的男人，视频都会有变形，看个大概。感觉这个人并不讨厌。晚上老公问我怎么样，我说，反正你想好，别后悔，一旦做了就再也回不去了。
没想到，老公竟然无比兴奋地亲吻我。我心里五味杂陈的，心想，这个变态。但，我又没出息的真想试试。
过了两天，老公说带我去吃饭。他也没说什么，可我心里瞬间扑通扑通的跳起来。我不知道是该拒绝，还是跟着去。磨磨蹭蹭的胡乱收拾东西。老公拉着我的手，坐在沙发上，和我说，老婆，今天我们去吃饭，那个网友过来了，我们一起吃个饭，聊聊天。
一路上什么话都没说，心里都明白，已经默许了。下了车，在饭店门口，老公说，如果你感觉可以，就假装喝多了就可以。
来到饭店，几乎是正中心的一张桌子，一个男人看我们进来，站起来打招呼，感觉好像很熟悉的样子。吃的什么我都不记得，喝的什么也没任何印象。反正与其说我装醉，倒不如说我可能真的醉了。迷糊中老公扶着我来到酒店，躺在床上我动不了，但脑子很清醒，两个男人轮着来，一个休息，一个上阵，听得很清楚，还泡着茶，此刻我心里想，行吧，到时候事后我就装糊涂。
我老公也搞不清楚我到底有没有真的醉，进了房间把我放在床上，两哥男人开始对话，说话声很小，估计是怕我被“惊醒”。听到老公说，我老婆屁眼做过手术不能用，我老婆不喜欢用嘴，千万不可以插嘴，一旦醒过来要命了。还有一点，我本人不喜欢说什么操逼啊，操爽啊这些语言。提前都说清楚，单男嗯嗯嗯的回答着。老公说，你去洗澡吧。
我很紧张，我知道马上要发生什么，闭着眼睛心里盘算着是否起来跑出去，可是老公怎么办？如果不跑马上就要就要就要，哎呀，怎么办啊。
这时候，老公趴在我身边，贴着耳朵和我说，你就装睡装醉就好，等一下我扒拉你，你就配合的翻身，反正就是不醒就好。我也许会很期待，也许真的半醉半醒，反正没回答也没动。
老公并没有给我脱衣服，而是掀开裙子，脱下了我的内裤，拿来浴巾，抬起我的腿，铺在下边。然后到卫生间问单男，洗完没有？对方嗯完了。说完两人几乎没动静的来到床边，应该是因为地毯走路没声音。
老公告诉单男，你先坐一会儿，我先来。说完，老公掰开我的双腿直接就插进来了，而我必须装睡，没有任何声音，也不敢出声。老公噗呲噗呲的做了也就一分钟，然后就感觉一个不同的感觉闯了进来。动作不大。过了一会儿，老公拿着手机，咔嚓咔嚓的拍起照来。我此刻并没有什么翻天覆地的高潮，即使有，我也不能动，无论两个男人怎么轮换怎么拉我翻身，我一直睡到第二天。
早上醒来，只有老公还在睡，单男不知道什么时候已经走了。我洗了洗澡，光着身子坐在椅子上，闭上眼睛回忆着昨天发生的一切。身体里两个男人留下的液体还在慢慢往外淌。老公会不会觉得我很贱，老公以后会不会看不起我，财运会不会来，阳气是否算是增强了，以后如果老公再联系其他人要不要继续。
突然，老公趴在我的身上，我睁开眼睛，老公不由分说的来起我，示意我转身弯腰，我顺从的转过身，屁股递给了他，老公啪啪啪地运动了起来。啊啊啊~啊啊，我不由自主的叫了出来，老公说，老婆谢谢你啊，真的谢谢。我啊啊啊，谢我干啥啊啊啊~啊啊，你老婆不干净了啊啊啊。老公啪啪啪地说，不不不，你为了我，为了家，和你自己偷情不是一回事，和干净没关系的啊啊啊啊啊。
总结一下吧，我被别的男人上了，心里很内疚。最怕的就是老公以后会看不起我。
生活在继续，生意在忙碌。大概一个星期左右，老公给我打电话，老婆，你知道我今天挣了多少钱？我说，500块。他说，你再猜。我说每天多少都差不多，多也多不到哪里去。老公说，今天一个客户一次订购1000件，我都没拿本钱，直接对缝赚了11200块。
啊？这么多。我心想，难道财运真的来了吗？
晚上睡觉的时候，老公说，明天我们去见一个很出名的风水先生，听说那人很厉害。我说，你这个公务员竟然信那个。老公说，难道上次酒店的事情，你没觉得很奇妙啊？
我最怕他提起这个事。说实话，我担心他那这个说事。而老公丝毫没有一点异样的感觉，很认真的和我说着什么运势，什么阴阳，什么乾坤的，我是一句都没听进去。脑子里不断的浮现两个男人轮着上阵的画面。
第二天上午，老公电话联系他朋友，按照地址我们来到北京丁家营的一栋老楼，这位先生一米八的大个子，有50来岁。见了面，寒暄几句坐下后，他竟然直接说，你老婆有其他男人。听了这话，我差点坐地上。
先生挥挥手，继续说，这是好事，没有这个事，你们这个月本身就是霉运月，结果这个月你们收入还不错。只是你们自己不明白而已。
我和老公都默默的看着，也不知道该问什么。先生继续说到，你找的男人，并没有放开，所以，财运还是不明显。下次放开点，还有你，说我老公，你不要吃醋，你之前有很多女人，阴气太重，需要阳气补充几次。然后对我说，你带环了吗？如果带环了，不要洗掉阳气，至少保持一天一夜。这样才有更好的效果。还有，你们回去以后买点纸，这个月去庙里上上香，烧点纸。这几天还有一笔财。
去庙里办完了事，回来路上，老公拉着我的手，走了很远。老公说，这几天我再联系一个网友，是夫妻两人，他们家和我们家一样的情况，我和那位网友也说了我们上一次的行动，他们也有一次糊里糊涂的经理，他们希望和我们男女互补，让两家都好起来。
我说，你看着办吧。我们一起努力。
谁也没想到，2020年疫情来了。更没想到的是，到处封城，大家都说太难了，而我家的生意却格外的好。老公整天电话联系生意。三年疫情，我们还清了一多半的外债。基本上没有了骚扰电话。疫情结束后，老公带我去广州，在广州和那对夫妻见了面。此刻的我，虽然经历过一次装睡的单男运动，但是，依然不好意思。可是回想那位先生的话，我必须义无反顾的放开自己。
In a luxury hotel room on the 26th floor, in front of a large floor-to-ceiling window, four men and women stood in their natural state, gazing at the distant skyscrapers. For their families, for happiness, for their dreams, the two couples understood each other perfectly, looked into each other's eyes, and opened their hearts to each other.
Life is both short and long. Just don't live it in vain.

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The story of turning over a debt abyss

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