Cruel sex

page views:1 Publication date:2023-03-24

Everything happened so naturally, so unexpectedly. You still wonder
if all a dream. You remember it was an early summer evening, but in T city, the weather seemed to be moving at a slower pace.

You walked with her back to her apartment through a quiet alley. She was a little tired and lay down on the bed as soon as she got back. You sat by the
bed and talked to her, casually chatting about various topics.

The sky outside the window slowly darkened, and suddenly, for a moment, neither of you spoke. You felt the room become
ambiguous and oppressive, and you went to turn on the light.

She said softly, "Don't turn on the light, it's fine as it is."

You felt a mixture of excitement and fear, a sense of being tempted. To break the silence, you said you had to go back, that you were a little
tired. She moved to the inside of the bed, "Rest here for a while, talk to me for a bit."

You were a little excited; you had never been this close to a woman before. You obediently
lay down on the edge of the bed, afraid of any physical contact with her, and then there was a silence. In truth, your heart was already
boiling .

You said, "I've always been afraid of women."

"What's there to be afraid of? Will they eat you?"

In the dim darkness, you saw the light in her eyes. She moved closer to you, and you felt her
hair against your cheek, a woman's fragrance filling your nostrils.

You embraced her slender waist, clumsily kissing her forehead, her cheeks, until you found her
lips . Her lips were warm, and you eagerly plunged your tongue in to taste their sweetness. She reciprocated your
kisses.

You kissed her relentlessly, from her lips, face, to her neck, until you pulled down her bra to reveal her nipples. This was what you
had dreamed of . You hastily pulled off her panties. She moaned, saying no, but you couldn't control yourself.

You roughly ripped off her panties, revealing her snow-white flesh before your eyes. You were a little overwhelmed.
You kissed her breasts again; her nipples were small, pink, warm, and smooth. You quickly took off your own
clothes , hastily searching for that wet, slippery entrance.

You were flustered and impatient. Your throbbing lower body could only feel the wetness of her. You eagerly grabbed her
hand, asking for her help. She was flustered, her eyes glazed. You finally entered her slowly,
ejaculating before you even had a chance to feel anything. This made her even more slippery and sticky.

She took a tissue and gently wiped herself, handing you one as well. Afterward, you kissed her again, passionately
. You caressed every inch of her skin, kissing every part of her.

You quickly became erect again, groping to enter her. This time, you felt a pleasure you had never experienced before. She murmured
that she liked you.

And you needed a woman, needed to release your desires and loneliness on a woman.

You held her, thanking her for making you a real man.

She whispered, "You know, I'm not a virgin."

Then she was about to tell you about her past, which you only learned about later.

You generously said you didn't care, that you would treat her well for the rest of your life.

At that time and for the months that followed, you truly didn't care about her past. You felt you loved her deeply then,
and it's hard to deny that you were also captivated by her beautiful body.

From then on, you were together all the time, day and night,
making love passionately whenever you had a spare moment. You learned various techniques from every possible source of sexual information; it was your and her sexual
paradise .

You loved each other without restraint, releasing your passion in every imaginable place: in
your bedroom, the living room, the office, on the grass in the park, on the beach and rocks at the seaside.

You were two years older than her, and your love was fiery and infatuated, sometimes to the point of losing your mind. She, on the other hand, often considered the future, whether your
passion was just a passing fancy, and the possible consequences. You promised to marry her, and you brought her to your home as if making a guarantee
, introducing her to your parents as your imagined future daughter-in-law.

At that time, you were fervent, naive, and driven by desire. Unaware that you were also empty and lonely.

This love continued until you and she returned to headquarters from the city where you were stationed abroad. Upon returning to headquarters, you
maintained that same enthusiasm, renting an apartment and buying furniture. When you meet up with friends, you gradually
realize the burden and lack of freedom she brings.

When you bring her to these events, you chat animatedly with your friends, but she remains silent,
appearing lonely and pitiful. You don't want to leave her alone at home. So you decline your friends' invitations,
living only in your own little circle.

By this time, you've already felt the gap and divide between you. You're a rising star in the company, a favorite of the chairman
and general manager , while she's just an ordinary migrant worker from out of town; you have an impressive education and
a promising future, while she only wants a simple family life.

Your communication dwindles. Although you're still together every day, you speak very little, and your sex becomes
merely a routine. You begin to question whether she's your true love, and you increasingly
avoid topics about love and the future.

Then, unfortunately, she's fired from work for making a mistake. You let
her stay home and promise to support her. But your relationship grows increasingly barren. To make matters worse, she becomes pregnant. She wants to have
the child and marry you.

You finally realize, or rather, you finally have to face these issues. You don't want to marry her; you find that
she's unsuitable for you in terms of family, education, future prospects, and so on. Everyone around you told you this when you first started dating
, but you felt love was about disregarding everything. You didn't listen to others' advice;
you felt your true love was precious, and you despised those worldly ideas.

But now, you've started using those standards to judge her, to justify yourself. Even more tragically,
you're fixated on the fact that you weren't her virgin, even though she painfully says she was raped when she was fourteen. You say she
's making it up, deceiving you.

She cried, completely; you saw despair.

You're afraid, afraid she'll use the child to blackmail you. You lied to her, saying you loved her, wouldn't bring up
the past , and would treat her well. But actually, you were thinking of calming her down first, then tricking her into having an abortion.

During that time, you resumed your kindness towards her, making up various reasons not to have the child, saying you were both too
young and it wasn't appropriate to have a child so early. You swore you would marry her. She believed you and went to the hospital
for a medical abortion.

That day, you despicably told her that there was an urgent matter at the company and she had to go alone. When you got home that night, you found
her lying on the bed, pale-faced. You kissed her hypocritically, perhaps out of a pang of conscience, or perhaps as
a final burst of energy before the breakup. You took a week off to take care of her. She often wore a happy smile during those days.

But it only lasted a week.

Finally, on that moonless night, you said the words "break up."

You were resolute.

She cried incessantly, and you remained silent; she cursed you, and you remained silent; she hit you, and you remained silent.

She was desperate; she knew it was over between you. She begged you to love her one last time; she knelt on the ground and pleaded with
you.

You finally agreed. You mechanically made love to her one last time, without foreplay, without caresses, without
kisses , just naked penetration. The blood on her genitals facilitated your entry. You thrust rapidly, and she
wept silently, tears streaming down her face.

It was finally over.

You said: "That's it. It's over between us, forever."

The blood-stained sheets bore witness to that moment. You dressed and left without looking back, only hearing
her sobbing behind you.

The next day, you submitted your pre-written resignation and flew to S city in southern China. You wanted to
sever ties with your past life, changing your phone number and only giving it to a college friend in T city. You didn't want to
care about that city anymore.

Until yesterday, your friend in that city told you she had been in a car accident and had passed away. Only then did you dare
to recall your past with her. Your heart was filled with complex emotions: regret, guilt, and sadness. You realized you cared about her
deeply, yet deep down, there was also a sliver of happiness.

Is this the ending you wanted?

Who are you, really?

Are you human or a devil?

And what is this love?

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