That night, that rain, that feeling

page views:1 Publication date:2023-03-24

The light streaming in from the window illuminated the other half of Bai Ruolan's body, a beautiful curve separating light and darkness that began at her neck and meandered down to her waist. Her hair, black and glossy, cascaded down like a waterfall, flowing gracefully. Her legs were equally perfect, and glistening beads of sweat trickled down her smooth skin.

I was mesmerized, forgetting time, forgetting who I was.

Yet she was struggling.

Her hands were bound behind her back, not tightly, but she couldn't break free. Her left leg was pulled high by a rope extending from her knee, causing her upper body to lean slightly backward. Because I had slightly raised the rope around her chest, her right foot barely touched the ground; seemingly free, she had no real choice.

She struggled to steady herself, sweating profusely. I got up and made a cup of coffee, walked to the window beside her, and looked out through the rising steam at the bustling evening streets. I couldn't help but smile, recalling how I had entered her life two months ago.

(I)

I can't remember now, but it was around the night Chen Hua left me forever that I recalled something from my childhood.

My best friend and I went out to play soccer, each carrying 50 cents to buy drinks. On the way back, we met an old man with a white beard, dressed in tattered clothes, but with a serene expression. He told us that if each of us only needed 50 cents, we could know our future.

Although I was very thirsty, my friend still handed him his small bill. I didn't want him to be the only one who knew his future, so I gave him mine too. The old man took my friend's still somewhat immature hand, looked at it carefully for a while, shook his head, and returned the money to him. Then he looked at me, for a longer time. At first, I thought he was going to say something; in fact, his mouth was almost open, but in the end, he just smacked his lips and returned my money to me as well.

Later, in May 2003, my friend didn't survive the SARS outbreak, leaving behind a wife and a 5-year-old son.

Chen Hua also didn't survive. My Chen Hua.

My childhood sweetheart married me when she was 22. For ten years after our marriage, although we had no children, we were always deeply in love. With her by my side, I didn't even glance at other women around me. Whether in terms of looks or character, it was difficult to find someone better than her!

When I proposed to her, I was just a poor young man fresh out of Tongji University, penniless. All I could give her was a passionate heart. She touched the scar on my shoulder from when I saved her, and said her lifelong dream was to marry someone like me, a true man who would stand up for her. Was

I really? I don't know.

I always thought I was protecting her, but after she left, I realized that she was actually protecting me.

So I told my best friend, with whom I had built our company from scratch, that I was tired and wanted to sell it. Without hesitation, my friend found a buyer, got a good price, gave me half, and then immigrated to the United States with his family. I was left alone, guarding that house with six bathrooms, the one I once considered paradise.

So, from 2003 to 2005, countless women came and went from that house. My only memories of those two years are the smell of alcohol and the outlines of women's bodies—all sorts of bodies—but I can't remember a single face. I remember often sitting alone on the balcony at dusk, gazing at the Tomson Riviera in the sunset, looking at Zhangjiang Town in the distance, tears streaming down my face. Then I'd pick up my phone and send a text message to that long-cancelled number:

"I love you, come back."

Xianlesi is a fairly well-known office building on Nanjing West Road. Logically, it would be a shame not to open a shopping mall in such a prime location; perhaps the owners wanted to project a luxurious image, deliberately going against the grain. Surprisingly, Xianlesi sold well. HSBC and NEC both had several departments there, and SAP couldn't resist either.

Originally, I had no intention of returning to work, but a friend with whom I had previously done business felt it was a waste of my talent. Coincidentally, there was a vacancy for the SAP marketing manager, and he insisted on recruiting me. After two years of a life of hedonistic indulgence, my thinking had become somewhat dull and rigid. So, I reconsidered; life must go on, and a change of environment might actually be beneficial. Without considering the salary, I accepted the job.

After taking the position, I didn't act like a typical businessman, forming cliques or engaging in bribery. Instead, my technical background proved invaluable.

This strange phenomenon often occurs in small IT companies: marketing staff are completely ignorant of their own products or services. When negotiating with clients, they agree to any conditions, regardless of their capabilities. In their minds, signing the contract first, then doing the work, is an ironclad rule. This thinking isn't necessarily wrong, but the reality is often that the promised features are impossible for the R&D team to implement, or even if they could, they would incur significant losses at that price. After a few such encounters, credibility is lost, and naturally, business is lost.

The first project SAP took on was China National Petroleum Corporation's (CNPC) logistics platform. They mentioned seeing BPM demonstrations from other companies and wanted this functionality in their system. At the time, BPM was still a relatively new concept, and a stable international giant like SAP wouldn't attempt anything rashly. If I agreed and then removed the feature later, we could still make money. However, with the pride of a technical person, I told them that SAP couldn't do it yet, and I recommended several other companies with some experience.

When the news reached Hanke Schmid, the German in charge of SAP in Shanghai, he looked unhappy, though he didn't say anything. But less than a month later, CNPC approached us again, offering to develop their supply chain management system for thousands of gas stations nationwide, and they were very open to negotiating the price and timeline. Hanke then realized that the Chinese also value integrity. At the celebration party after the project was signed, he gripped my hand tightly and said in heavily accented Chinese, "Excellent!"

Once the project officially started, the existing marketing team was insufficient. On the one hand, someone needed to go to the customer's site to see the actual procurement and workflow, and then analyze the needs; on the other hand, someone needed to continue negotiating new business. SAP has thousands of developers in Shanghai, and they can't afford to be complacent.

Of course, I wasn't personally responsible for recruitment, and in fact, I wasn't qualified. The company had a team of experts—a group proficient in psychology, marketing, and technology—to screen candidates. My trust in their judgment was later proven time and again.

In the end, four people were hired. That day was May 14, 2005—I remember it—the first time these new marketing employees met me. In the meeting room, they stood in a row, and I shook hands with each of them. One girl was beautiful and tall, with her chin slightly raised when she stood and walked. I shook her hand lighter than with the others.

"Bai Ruolan," she introduced herself.

I smiled and returned the greeting, looking into her eyes. In less than half a second, I understood everything.

(II)

Yes, I used ether.

I told Bai Ruolan that we were just going to my house to pick up some documents, and then I would go to meet with a representative from Volkswagen. Of course, I lied.

I poured ether onto a cotton handkerchief, gently walked behind her as she sat on the sofa, and covered her nose and mouth with my hands. Before she could even tense up, she relaxed and collapsed onto the sofa. Then I carefully removed her clothes, neatly folded them, and set them aside.

What truly troubled me were the hooks hanging from the living room ceiling. Because it was a detached two-story house, the ceiling height was higher than usual, probably about 4 meters. These hooks hadn't been used for at least a few months, so I had to push a bookshelf over, climb up, and secure the ropes. I tested them with my own weight; they held up.

Climbing down from the bookshelf, I looked back at the dangling ropes, which reminded me of scenes from the past two years. Many girls were hanging here, screaming as they were whipped. Another friend had brought in a very young girl; she initially resisted fiercely, so several men hung her here, force-feeding her water and watermelon juice. Within two hours, she couldn't hold it in any longer and urinated, crying as she did so, while the men watching all laughed. But I didn't laugh. After she finished urinating, I told the people around me, "Continue."

Bringing Bai Ruolan here today was either a spur-of-the-moment idea, or something I'd been secretly hoping for for a long time. For some reason, I felt I had to cherish every minute, not for myself, but for her.

I tied her hands behind her back—feeling a bit clumsy—and then secured her to the chair, legs spread. Then I sat down and waited for her to wake up. As I expected, her angry eyes and the foul words she uttered were all there, except the stuff in her mouth turned her curses into muffled moans.

Letting her experience what was about to happen consciously was the right way to save her. I got a basin of hot water and a new towel and carefully washed her genitals. After spraying some foam, I shaved her pubic hair with a Gillette razor.

I shaved very carefully, so it took a while. During that time, she went from struggling violently to wanting to cry, from desperately resisting to staring blankly as the razor blade slid down. After I finished all that, when I showed her herself in the mirror, two crystal tears slid down her cheeks. I knew why she was crying. It wasn't because of the humiliation others had inflicted on her; she was crying because she felt ashamed of herself. As I slowly shaved away the body hair that symbolized her maturity as a woman, she actually got wet.

(III)

I guess not many ordinary people really pay attention to what the Eleventh Five-Year Plan outline is about. If life is already not satisfactory, then no matter what decisions the central government makes, the difference is just whether you eat steamed buns or drink porridge. But for a company aspiring to become number one in the world, every policy change must be paid attention to. Moreover, a notice on independent innovation and support for national industries has already threatened the Bright Dairy customer relationship management project that Bai Ruolan is currently negotiating very hard.

It should be said that in the two months before summer, she fully demonstrated her ability as the deputy manager of the marketing department to handle things independently. The contracts for the Shanghai Rubber Factory and the e-government upgrade project with the power bureau were all going very well, so when I told Schmidt that Bai Ruolan would be in charge of the Guangming project, he had no objections.

Initially, everything went smoothly. Whether it was thanks to SAP's reputation or Bai Ruolan's beauty, no one could find a more suitable partner for this deal. Just when everyone thought it was a sure thing, Xiao Tian, the project bidding manager for Guangming, called to say that a domestic company had joined the competition, and the municipal government had promised preferential treatment in year-end taxation and profit remittance if their products were used.

Normally, as a Chinese person, I should cheer and fully support such an opportunity. However, SAP is predominantly staffed with Chinese people, and I absolutely didn't want Bai Ruolan to suffer any losses, so I silently leaned towards securing the contract.

Last week, after two unsuccessful attempts with her team, the atmosphere in the marketing department began to become somewhat tense. The day before, Xiao Tian called again, saying that Thursday would be the last chance for both companies to present their proposals. His words seemed to imply that the project had already been decided internally, and the presentations were just a formality. This immediately put everyone on edge, because everyone knew that the Guangming contract was important not only for the 30 million yuan revenue, but more importantly, for its demonstration effect on a number of large Shanghai companies like Baosteel and Volkswagen. If this card wasn't played well, SAP might have to consider withdrawing from Shanghai.

That afternoon, Hank came to me and explained the seriousness of the situation. He also mentioned that although signing projects was the marketing department's responsibility, many people from the R&D department had recently approached him expressing their concerns. I understood all of this, so when Hank said he hoped I would personally handle the matter on Thursday, I had no choice but to agree.

For the entire afternoon, I locked myself in my well-furnished office, trying to concentrate on the problem at hand, but for some reason, my thoughts kept returning to the evening Bai Ruolan first came to my house.

The light streaming in from the window illuminated the other half of Bai Ruolan's body, revealing a beautiful curve that separated light and darkness, starting from her neck and winding down to her waist. Her hair was black and glossy, cascading down like a waterfall, flowing gracefully. Her legs were equally perfect, and glistening beads of sweat trickled down her smooth skin.

I was mesmerized, forgetting time, forgetting who I was.

Yet she was struggling.

Her hands were bound behind her back, not tightly, but she couldn't break free. Her left leg was pulled high by a rope extending from her knee, causing her upper body to lean slightly backward. Because I had slightly raised the rope around her chest, her right foot barely touched the ground; seemingly free, she had no real choice.

She struggled to steady herself, sweating profusely. I got up to make a cup of coffee, walked to the window beside her, and looked out through the rising steam, watching the bustling evening streets. I heard soft moans coming from behind me every now and then; I knew she was still trying to steady herself.

I turned to look at her and found that she had been looking at me too, but immediately looked away when our eyes met. I carefully observed her breathing rhythm and the rise and fall of her muscles. I felt her body gradually tensing up, like a fully drawn bow, waiting for a signal to release all its energy.

She was in that state at that moment, right on the verge of climax. To maintain this tension as much as possible and to completely control her right to pleasure, I added another rope. This rope pulled her right foot, which was originally on the ground, behind her, in the opposite direction to her suspended left leg. In this way, she was not only completely levitating, but her legs also had no way to rub against each other, so the power for her to reach her climax was naturally solely in my hands.

In a sense, women don't need men. Touch, climax—anything that can perform this function can replace a man.

I picked a rose from the vase in the living room and almost pricked my hand on the thorn. With this rose, I gently brushed it between her legs, and it was all done. All I could do was step back a little, quietly watching Bai Ruolan's body convulse violently, her uncontrollable trembling, and the piercing screams she desperately tried to hold back but which burst forth.

What did I do after that? I remember filling the tub with hot water, adding some fine bath salts, and then gently untying the ropes binding her. In her extreme arousal, her eyes were glazed, and her body lay limp and powerless in my arms. I carried her into the bathroom, placed her in the water, and then poured a glass of chilled red wine, placing it by the tub.

When I returned after a two-hour drive, she was gone.

I sat alone in the dark living room, waiting for something. Perhaps the police? That would be fine too; I had committed a crime, but only in a legal sense. Her heart—if she would face herself—should know that I had saved her, albeit in a completely different way than I had saved Chen Hua.

After sitting for a while, I realized the police weren't coming, so I got up, took off my shirt, and went into the bathroom.

(IV)

Since that night, Bai Ruolan had never spoken to me again. When we met at the company, she would just lower her head and walk away. I didn't blame her for any of this.

On Thursday morning, the day of my life or death, I went with her group to the conference room on the third floor of the Guangming Building to prepare for our last stand. I only learned before leaving that although it was just a formality, the CEO of Guangming would still attend in person.

When we arrived, the people from another company had already gathered, and the briefing was about to begin, with them going first.

I listened attentively as their technicians explained, occasionally expressing my agreement or asking a few questions, but without any hint of being difficult. In fact, with my prompting, they even discovered several advantages that they hadn't noticed themselves. In my opinion, this company isn't as incompetent as people imagine. If they were given this project, they would definitely be able to handle it. Of course, the problem is, I don't intend to give it to them.

Before SAP's turn, I asked for two minutes and then pulled Bai Ruolan aside to talk in the hallway.

"I'll speak later," I said bluntly.

"What?" She was somewhat surprised, her face slightly flushed, perhaps from nervousness. "I'm very well prepared. Technical explanations, success stories, even comparisons with theirs. We can do it."

"Sooner or later, you'll understand that I won't speak up about things I haven't thought through, much less do them."

The conversation ended there, and we returned to the conference room. I opened a folder, glanced at it briefly, closed it, and walked to the podium with it.

“Our beautiful Ms. Bai has prepared a lot of materials, including a technical presentation by a senior SAP engineer, details of the solution, additional incentives, and so on. But I intend to skip all of that.”

At this point, even the people from the competitor company were smiling. Xiao Tian, who had always been on good terms with us, looked troubled. Only Mr. Sun, the previously silent CEO of Bright Dairy, straightened his posture and leaned forward slightly.

“I only want to ask you one thing: Does Bright Dairy really want to be among the Fortune Global 500? If so, here’s a proven shortcut,” I waved the folder in my hand, which contained a draft contract. “If not, then SAP has absolutely no interest in cooperating with you.”

I looked around at the several Bright Dairy executives present, meeting their eyes one by one, finally fixing my gaze on Mr. Sun. After staring at him for five seconds, I placed the folder on their table and told them that SAP’s presentation was over. Xiao Tian stood up to thank everyone present and said the results would be communicated immediately.

The SAP employees filed out of the meeting room with me, Bai Ruolan following closely to my left. I could feel her right arm occasionally brushing against my left elbow. She was nervous, perhaps even a little scared. But at that moment, I understood that she was relying on me; she wanted to be close to me to draw courage.

In the corridor, I heard someone call my name from behind. It was Mr. Sun. He rushed over, shook my hand, smiled, and then returned to the meeting room.

That noon and afternoon, the marketing department was full of people who never usually came here: Hank Schmid, the SAP Shanghai head, several project managers from the R&D department, and the chief technology officer. It was a strange coincidence that the water dispensers or coffee makers in all the other offices were broken, but those in the marketing department were working. Although there were

many people, the room was quiet. Occasionally, someone could be heard flipping through documents or typing on a keyboard, but no one spoke; the air seemed to be frozen.

Bai Ruolan sat in her seat, her beautiful legs elegantly together, slightly turned to one side. The instant her phone rang, almost everyone in the room turned their heads in unison. Everyone held their breath, waiting for the phone to ring politely three times before she answered.

She was the one in charge of this order, so naturally, she was the one to be contacted to report the results.

She greeted the caller, listened attentively, hummed twice, said goodbye, and hung up. Then she got up and walked towards my office door. I could see it clearly through the floor-to-ceiling windows; everyone's nerves were on edge at her movements.

She reached my door, knocked lightly twice, and said softly, "We got it."

The entire room erupted in cheers of "Yay!" The technical department colleagues practically jumped for joy. The marketing department translators scattered papers everywhere. Hank, weighing over 200 pounds, rushed over, picked up Bai Ruolan around the waist, and spun her around twice, making her giggle. I smiled and walked towards the door. Hank put her down, turned around, and gripped my hand tightly, shaking it vigorously.

"Very good!" Although his Chinese hadn't improved much.

The celebration banquet was held at Shanghai Uncle near Times Square.

Hank must have immediately notified the German side, because before dinner, the German headquarters sent a congratulatory telegram thanking "Miss Bai" for her efforts.

This project was far from the largest SAP Shanghai had ever undertaken, but it was definitely the most meaningful so far. Hank was very happy during the meal, and some of the other German employees, unusually, engaged in several rounds of drinking with their Chinese colleagues. Bai Ruolan wasn't sitting at our table, but we could hear her cheerful laughter from time to time.

After dinner, everyone planned an activity where employees from the marketing department and some representatives from the R&D department would present her with gifts, which she would open on the spot so everyone could share in the joy.

Some gave her very high-quality silk handkerchiefs, some personally wrote a piece of calligraphy, and Hank generously bought some rather expensive crystal ornaments.

My gift box was small and inconspicuous. Therefore, when she saw the red Chinese knot, no one else paid any attention to it.

Only I noticed the subtle change in her expression for a tenth of a second. If I wasn't mistaken, this thing must have reminded her of a night she desperately wanted to forget.

The dinner party ended late, but since the next day was a rest day, many people were still reluctant to leave and went to sing karaoke or dance in groups.

I didn't like these kinds of activities, so I excused myself early and drove home. Once inside, I started tidying up the living room and preparing what needed to be prepared. I pushed the bookshelf out again and tied a few ropes to the fishing hooks on the ceiling.

Tonight, she would definitely come knocking on my door.

(V)

We didn't say a word that night.

She knocked on the door, I opened it, and stepped aside to let her in.

She went straight to the sofa, ignoring me locking the door behind her, and took off her clothes by herself. Top, silk shirt, skirt, high heels, after taking off her stockings, she hesitated for only half a second before bending her hands behind her back and unhooking her bra.

When she turned around and faced me, she crossed her arms over her chest, looking a little cold. I didn't move, but gave her a questioning look. She blushed as soon as she saw it, lowered her head and bit her lip, her hands reluctantly sliding down to her hips to remove her silk panties.

I took two steps forward and looked at her body.

The hair I'd shaved a month ago had grown back, completely unrecognizable. I suddenly thought of Tagore's poem, "The sky leaves no trace of the birds," seemingly reminding us that the world doesn't change just because we've truly lived. Yet, I also knew deeply that her body, outwardly identical, had already been utterly transformed by the seeds I'd planted.

Silently, I tightened her ties, hoisted her high, occasionally lowering one rope and tightening another. Time flowed quietly and slowly, while her emotions steadily accumulated. Finally, the moonlight hung high outside the window, all was silent except for her rapid breathing and animalistic moans echoing through the fountains and flowerbeds of Tomson Riviera.

Our relationship was, in essence, pure.

There was no intercourse, no caressing. Every night she came, I'd tie her up, still without saying a word, and eventually, anything would bring her to orgasm—a vibrating egg, or a couple of lashes. Once, I simply said, "Go ahead," and she cried out.

The cry sounded somewhat like a sob, but it was broken and intermittent, yet more forceful than a cry.

I quite liked the look in her eyes after her frenzy—a look of weariness, a look of helplessness, her body so limp she could only be manipulated. At that moment, she would likely agree to anything you asked.

However, I wasn't foolish enough to believe a woman's promises. I needed her to agree to my requests when she was completely sober and rational; otherwise, it would be meaningless.

So, one Friday night, when she stood naked in the living room, I didn't turn to get the rope. Instead, I plopped down on the sofa, turned on the TV, and watched the FA Cup match.

At first, she waited quietly. I heard her rubbing her arms because she was a little cold, and I heard her shifting her position when she got tired of standing.

Lampard shot from fifteen meters out, but the ball went wide of the crossbar. Trailing by one goal, Chelsea played with increasing urgency, but they were helpless against Sunderland's dense defense.

She licked her lips, clearing her throat occasionally, her mind filled with confusion.

Joe Cole missed a golden opportunity to equalize with a free kick. Robben, injured, was substituted on.

She took a few steps forward and stood to the left of the sofa, right in my line of sight, yet seemingly trying to hide her from me.

The referee blew his whistle three times, ending the match. Chelsea suffered a narrow defeat and were eliminated.

I turned off the TV, finished my drink on the coffee table, stretched, and pretended she wasn't there. I went straight to the bathroom to wash up .

When I came out, Bai Ruolan was still there, standing naked.

"What's wrong?" she asked as I passed her to get a cigarette.

I looked at her, slowly lit a cigarette, took a drag, and exhaled a smoke ring. I continued to stare at her silently.

"Did I do something wrong?" she asked tentatively.

My expression was neither evil nor sincere; I just stared at her quietly and coldly. She seemed to be stung by my gaze, and goosebumps rose on her skin.

"Don't do this, you're scaring me..." she said, hugging her shoulders and rubbing them vigorously.

We stood facing each other for a long time until my cigarette finally burned out. I stubbed it out and said to her, "Go." She stared at me with wide eyes, as if she didn't understand me, or as if she didn't believe that what I said meant literally.

"Don't come back again." I left her and walked towards the bedroom, adding another sentence.

I slept very soundly that night and woke up very late the next day, so I don't know when Bai Ruolan left the house.

(VI) It wouldn't

be entirely true to say that I had no impression of any of the women who came in and out of the house in the past two years.

For example, Ling Xiaoyue.

I had seen too many passionate and promiscuous women during that time, and there were quite a few who loved money and houses. Naturally, I couldn't forget this girl who had never taken a penny from me.

What I liked most about her was that after sex, she would always snuggle in my arms and talk to me in a coquettish tone as if she were talking to her father.

Sometimes she would say, "Brother, can I borrow your car tomorrow?" I would reply, "I'll buy you one when you're old enough to get a driver's license." There are two things to clarify here: first, Ling Xiaoyue is indeed not yet old enough to get a driver's license; second, she has never had a father.

I remember very clearly how I met her.

It was almost the first anniversary of Chen Hua's death, and I was in a really bad mood. A few young friends heard that some Japanese people had booked the "roll jam" venue on the 6th floor of Hong Kong Plaza on Huaihai Road, where there would be song and dance performances, so they practically dragged me along. I've never liked noisy entertainment venues like discos, especially since it's always strange when Japanese people book venues—they just charge extra for tickets, and anyone can get in. But firstly, I couldn't refuse so many friends, and secondly, without my VIP status, they couldn't get seats on the second floor.

I arrived a little early, had my VIP card checked, and as I walked towards the entrance, I saw a very sweet-looking girl arguing with the security guard at the door. The girl claimed to be an adult but couldn't produce any identification. Besides, even the most oblivious person could tell she was only fifteen or sixteen at most, so the guards naturally wouldn't let her in.

I'm not usually one to meddle, but that day, I inexplicably walked over, put my hand on her shoulder, and said, "Honey, why did you take so long?" At the same time, I waved my VIP card at the security guard, who finally didn't say anything and let us in.

Once in the lobby, I took my hand off her and told her to have fun and just be careful.

But when I entered the private room on the second floor and sat down, she was still following behind me, and without even asking, she plopped down opposite me.

"Brother, you're pretty capable," she said with a smile. "A VIP membership must cost a lot of money a year, right?"

I forced a smile and said, "You'd better leave quickly. If a pack of wolves comes, someone as sweet as you might be in trouble. "

She sat there, shaking her head vigorously. "You don't want me sitting here, is it because I'm not good-looking?" she asked.

Actually, when those young friends arrived a while later, Ling Xiaoyue was still there, and every single one of them was drooling over her.

She told me that she escaped from a juvenile detention center in Chongming when she was twelve. In the years since arriving in Shanghai, she'd done all sorts of jobs.

"You know that little beggar gang from Nanjing West Road to Hankou Road?" she recalled vividly. "And the group that begged for money while washing cars under the overpass, I was a part of both. Many of my current best friends are people I met back then." When you meet this girl in person, you'd never imagine that this seventeen-year-old, with her blond hair, has a group of hooligans calling her "Big Sister." Although her "brothers" seem like young men to me, people who should be in school and contributing to the country, they've already established their own businesses and are making a living on their own.

Over a year ago, Xiaoyue started stealing for people and reselling used bicycles. Because of her sweet looks, business was pretty good. Finally, one day she realized that working for others meant being exploited, so she decided to do it herself. She then gathered a group of idle, poor boys from the street, treated them to meals, gave them occasional drinks, established gang rules, and thus became the "boss."

"Now, from Fuzhou Road westward all the way to the Suzhou River, it's all our territory," she gestured in the air, as if it were a vast area.

"What do you guys usually do?" I asked, patting her shoulder.

“There are many. Selling bicycles, protecting the women doing business on the street, and selling some pills and stuff, you know.”

“Selling is one thing, but I won’t let you touch that stuff. If you dare to take it, I’ll move, and you’ll never find me again.”

“Ugh!!!” She got anxious, pouting, wrapping her arms around my neck, hugging me tightly, “You’re not allowed to leave! You’re not allowed to leave! You’re not allowed to leave!”

“Don’t touch it, do you hear me?”

“Yes.” She nodded.

She was so obedient when talking to me, but in bed she was a completely different person, how to describe it, like a little wildcat.

As soon as she entered our room, she would always rush to undo my belt. Sometimes when she couldn’t unbutton my shirt, she would simply bite it with her teeth. Every time she neared the finish line, she would shout, drenched in sweat, "Brother, faster, faster!"

Once everything was finished, she would smile and say goodbye, push open the door, and say to her brother Dongzi, who had been waiting outside, "Let's go." Then she would see Dongzi, who always looked at her with affection, following behind her as they rode away.

Things at Guangming were gradually getting on track. After receiving the first batch of deposits, Hank Schmid summoned me, the two deputy managers of the marketing department, Bai Ruolan and Cai Yunpei, to a meeting to discuss the next steps.

The situation was that the German lab had developed something similar to an enterprise platform, which was different from the products SAP had been selling. Headquarters wanted to test the market reaction but hadn't decided whether to do it in Shanghai or Beijing. The meeting was to hear our opinions.

“It’s better if we do it,” Bai Ruolan spoke first. “Right now, we’re only taking on some scattered projects, and a large portion of the revenue from each project goes to platform vendors as royalties. Now that we have our own, it should be a good opportunity to turn the tide. SAP Shanghai can also use this to tell our other sister companies across the country that choosing us as their China headquarters is the right choice.”

Hank then turned to Cai Yunpei.

“I think, well,” he cleared his throat, “it’s better not to take on this project for now. The marketing department has invested a lot of effort in the projects with Baosteel and Volkswagen. If those two companies are willing to cooperate with us, they’re looking at SAP’s successful experience, not the product’s cutting-edge nature. Putting all that aside, just scrapping and rebuilding the project is a loss we can’t afford.”

Don’t think these two are at odds; in fact, they have a very good relationship. I’m glad that there are people on the team who can see things from different perspectives, especially those who dare to voice their opposition. Many times, it is these dissenting voices that ultimately lead us to success.

After Cai Yunpei finished speaking, all three people in the office turned to me, as if my opinion was final.

“SAP has a strong foothold in Shanghai,” I summarized, “and currently still far ahead of IBM (ranked second) and Oracle (ranked third) in the industry. We have the strength to catch up. Therefore, we don’t need to try new things; we can just use others’ successful experiences. So, we won’t take this task.”

Hank nodded in agreement, then put away the stack of documents in his hand and finally said, “That’s settled then. This matter will be handled by Beijing.”

The three of us got up and left his office.

In the long corridor we had to take back to the marketing department, Cai Yunpei was called away by another colleague, leaving only Bai Ruolan and me to continue walking.

In the past week, apart from exchanging a few words at the company about work, we had no other interaction, but that didn’t mean I was completely unaware of what she was doing. In fact, I knew not only what she did, but also why she did it.

“A few days ago, after work, I saw you get into Cai Yunpei’s car,” I said casually.

“Hmm,” she replied, “I need him to give me a ride.”

“You have your own car.” She was actually playing this trick. I didn’t even need to look at her; I could tell just by listening to her tone of voice.

Sure enough, she lowered her head and remained silent.

“As long as you’re happy.” This was something she definitely understood; she knew I wasn’t referring to anything romantic.

Then we drove in silence, turned a corner, and entered the marketing department.

(VII)

Almost everyone thought that I was too confident in my dealings with Bai Ruolan.

Anyone with a discerning eye could easily see through the vulnerability beneath her haughty exterior—that slightly raised chin, that confident stride—all of it was just an act. If you looked closely at her eyes, at the slightest tilt of her body as she passed men, you would know that what she revealed in her captivating gaze was clearly lust, and what she displayed in her abundant energy was clearly desire.

However, these things are too abstract to explain, and are very likely based on subjective biases.

Before she first came to me, I wasn't entirely confident, but I felt it would be a shame not to try.

So, while shaving her pubic hair and tying the knots to hang her up, I was genuinely nervous.

But I vividly remember that after tightening the rope around her upper body and pulling a rope from her knees to raise her left leg, she instinctively lifted her left leg. I've thought about that detail countless times since then; even though it was only for a moment, she was trying to help me. Ask yourself, how could a normal woman, forced to shave her pubic hair and subjected to further abuse, possibly act that way?

Whenever I think of this, I shake my head gently and smile

knowingly. There are chaste women in this world, but Bai Ruolan is not, by any standard.

If she had even the slightest bit of shame or decency, the seed I planted would have withered and died from lack of the air and rain it needed to grow. But the reality is, in the past two months, it sprouted and grew stronger. And after that one sentence earlier today, "As long as you're happy," I watched it blossom...

As soon as I opened the door, Bai Ruolan started hitting me with her handbag. I raised my hand to block, the force of the impact knocking the bag from her hand. She then switched to her fists, raining blows on my chest. But those soft hands felt nothing against my skin. Only when I saw she wouldn't stop, and fearing she would hurt herself, did I twist her wrist and pin her to the ground.

"Beast! Animal!" she yelled, her back facing upwards, still trying to turn her face towards me.

I looked at her with amusement. To be honest, I liked her defiant spirit. After all, the more a woman struggles, the more thoroughly she falls and completely submits after being conquered.

"You just want to sleep with me, don't you?" she said loudly, her face flushed with excitement. "Why don't you come? What are you pretending to be, gentleman! You scum, all men are the same!"

I just said softly. If you're all the same, why didn't you have an orgasm when Cai Yunpei did?

I was half guessing, but I felt absolutely certain.

This made Bai Ruolan swallow back all the words she was about to say. She bit her lip and glared at me fiercely.

"Besides," I continued, "I've only been hiding my feelings for the past week. What about you? You've been wearing this mask for twenty-seven years. When will it end?"

I hit her where it hurt, so her gaze began to avoid me, and her eyes softened and became blurred.

“Waking up in the dead of night, suddenly realizing that life could have been different, that feeling of regret is unbearable.”

Her head slumped, resting on the floor, half her face buried beneath it, preventing me from seeing her.

“What do you want? How many twenty-seven years do you have to waste in your life!” I vaguely felt that these words were spoken not only to her but also to myself.

Releasing my grip on her wrist, I noticed her arm was no longer resisting, so I stood up and straightened my shirt, which she had disheveled. She slowly rose as well, half-sitting on the floor, a few strands of hair falling beside her beautiful face, her eyes lowered, refusing to look at me.

Summer sunsets come late, and the slanting twilight only now streamed into the room through the large living room windows, casting an orange glow on the furniture and reddening her face.

I knelt down beside Bai Ruolan, gently took her hand, held it in my palm, and whispered, "Give it all to me."

Her chest heaved violently as she gasped for breath, then suddenly held her breath and nodded almost imperceptibly.

I pulled her close, holding her tightly in my arms. Because I knew that this tiny agreement had gambled her dignity and her entire life.

(VIII)

My buddy was still wearing the same clothes he wore when he played soccer, and the white-bearded old man was still dressed in tattered clothes, his expression still serene. He was leading Chen Hua, and the three of them walked together into the distance.

I chased after him, shouting, "Grandpa, I have a lot of money! Please tell me my fate!"

Chen Hua stopped, turned around, looked at me, and smiled.

Then, I woke up and found traces of tears in the corners of my eyes.

I came out of the bedroom, my head a little fuzzy. I had only intended to lie down for a while, but I had fallen asleep.

In the center of the living room, Bai Ruolan was still there, bound like a dumpling, her ankles tied together from the front to her neck. I had kept the rope short, making the position quite uncomfortable.

I glanced at the wall clock and realized she had slept for two hours, so I quickly loosened the rope and changed her position, pulling her legs up from behind, still connected to her neck, but this time her body was bent in the opposite direction. I kept the rope short again; if she weren't so flexible, she would have screamed in pain. I

went to the bathroom to wash my face and clear my head. Back in the living room, I poured myself an iced drink, sat on the sofa, and gazed into the distance, my thoughts involuntarily drifting back to the past.

In April 2003, I was the one who fell ill first.

At first, it was just a headache, then a fever, and at its worst, I couldn't get out of bed at all.

Chen Hua had already accepted a job at the Jiaotong University Admissions Office, but for my sake, she insisted on staying home to take care of me, even though they said they couldn't hold the position for her.

Seeing such a beautiful woman changing my towels, washing my clothes, and cooking for me every day, I couldn't bear it. So I suggested several times that she take me to the hospital.

"No!" she refused outright. "There are so many SARS patients in the hospital. If you go, even if you don't really have it, you'll probably catch it!"

I said, "Aren't you afraid I really do have SARS?"

"So what if you do? If you do, I'll still be the one taking care of you. What wife would run away when her husband is sick?"

Actually, in Shanghai, aren't there many couples who abandon each other in times of trouble?

"I'm afraid I'll infect you too."

Her tears were almost falling. Sitting on the edge of the bed, she held my hand and said, "Don't say such discouraging things. If something really happens to you, I won't live either."

Later, I did infect her. A month later, she passed away, leaving me alone in this world as if nothing had happened.

I put down my cup and got up to check on Bai Ruolan. Although we'd changed positions once, she'd been tied up for a full four hours.

I knelt in front of her, reaching out to tuck the hair that had fallen across her face behind her ear. My hand traced her smooth forehead, her delicate nose, and her soft lips. She was truly beautiful.

"Want some?" I asked her.

Because of the ropes, she had to nod forcefully.

But I wouldn't give it to her.

I had an old iron frame that could hold a girl's limbs in place. Turned upside down, it formed the shape of a coffee table, with the girl's back, waist, and hips forming the tabletop for placing things. We'd used many girls in this room before when we were partying. Some friends used them as candlesticks, deliberately turning off the lights and lighting candles on them; some used them as benches to watch others' performances; some even used them as beds, placing other girls on them and playing with them to their hearts' content.

It just so happens that Xiaoyue is coming today, and after thinking it over, I decided that using Bai Ruolan as a bed wouldn't be bad, so I untied her ropes and put her back on the frame.

As expected, Ling Xiaoyue takes Dongzi everywhere she goes, although she won't admit it's because Dongzi is known for his fighting skills and she feels safer with him around. Perhaps not wanting him to see how dependent she is on him, Xiaoyue always speaks to Dongzi rudely.

Before even entering the room, she said to Dongzi, "Wait here," her tone dismissive.

Before, when Xiaoyue came here, Dongzi would always wait outside for two or three hours. I often told him to take my car for a drive and come back when it was time; it wasn't good to keep her standing outside.

"What are you afraid of?" she always retorted. "I'm the eldest sister, can't I even ask him to wait for me for a moment?"

As Xiaoyue walked into the living room, I turned back and stuffed five hundred yuan into Dongzi's hand, who was standing at the door too shy to even peek inside, along with my car keys. I told him to go out and find a nice place for a drink, and I'd call him when he needed to come back. He looked at Ling Xiaoyue's retreating figure, too embarrassed to take the money.

Xiaoyue turned around, still annoyed, and said, "Here you go, brother. Take it!"

Dongzi smiled and thanked me before walking towards the car parked in the garden. But from his gait, I could tell he preferred to wait at the gate for Ling Xiaoyue.

(IX)

"Who is this beautiful sister?" Ling Xiaoyue, seeing Bai Ruolan for the first time, seemed even more excited than I was. She jumped in front of Bai Ruolan, looking at this and touching that, as if she couldn't put her down.

Bai Ruolan, on the other hand, was seeing someone other than me for the first time in this manner, her eyes filled with panic and unease.

"Bai Ruolan, Ling Xiaoyue," I introduced them.

"Haha, sister is so beautiful!" she said again, "But, she looks somewhat familiar, where have I seen her before?"

Ling Xiaoyue pouted, scratching her head with one hand, as if thinking about this question was really giving her a headache. But after thinking for a long time without any clue, she shook her head vigorously.

"Oh, never mind, I can't remember. Maybe it's because sister looks a bit like some movie star or model, and I got confused." she laughed.

Then, her attention shifted from Bai Ruolan back to my waistband, which was good, because I couldn't wait to try out the new bed.

Yang Cheng was the one who strongly invited me to join SAP at the beginning of the year; he's the head of the R&D department. These past few days he'd been busy with the R&D department's relocation, completely overwhelmed. So, seeing a little free time, he invited me to a nearby bar for a chat.

During the chat, we talked about some details of the relocation. Apparently, the number of employees at Xanthi had exploded, and SAP's original lease for three floors had expired. The landlord was only willing to lease one more floor to SAP, so the heads discussed it with the German headquarters. Taking advantage of the preferential conditions offered by Zhangjiang High-Tech Park, they rented an entire building there and moved all the staff who helped clients with secondary development there. The original new product development staff remained at Xanthi, but of course, they wouldn't dare touch the marketing department. "That's a valuable asset!" he teased me with a smile.

"By the way, isn't there someone named Bai Ruolan there?" he suddenly changed the subject, leaving me a little confused.

"Yes, the youngest deputy manager in the marketing department, very capable." Capable in every way, I thought to myself.

"Hmm, I have a deep impression of her." Yang Cheng took a sip of beer and continued, "Because when she joined, I was the one who interviewed the technical staff."

"Ha, you only chose her because she's pretty..." Many male colleagues in the company recognized Bai Ruolan, regardless of whether they were in the same department.

"That's part of it," he laughed, "but there's something else. You know, she answered all my questions quite well, and the other applicants were also excellent. When I asked her if she had any questions for me, she asked me, 'What kind of person are you?'"

Yang Cheng looked at me meaningfully.

"Me?" I put down my glass. "She asked how the head of the marketing department treats people?"

"No, she clearly said your name and asked what kind of person you are."

After graduating from Tongji University, a good friend from my dorm and I started from scratch and did achieve some success in the field of image processing. Needless to say, our online interactions went without saying, and even in real life, many technical staff and students looked up to us as role models, frequently asking about us. So, I didn't pay much attention to it.

"However, I heard from some friends in the marketing department that your relationship with her is quite distant, and you seem to admire Cai Yunpei more, is that right?" "Maybe.

Cai Yunpei is a few years younger than me, and we've met once." The fact that people around me view my relationship with Bai Ruolan this way shows that I've done a good job.

"Where is Bai Ruolan from? Did she graduate from the National Defense University?"

"I think so. By the way, the marketing department is hiring again soon, so get ready. But you've always been good at choosing people." I took the opportunity to change the subject.

"That's right, you know," Yang Cheng patted my shoulder and said, "My proudest achievement is getting you into SAP, really."

"I sincerely thank you too." I was absolutely sincere about that, believe me.

Ling Xiaoyue was sweating a lot, probably because she was always the most proactive one. But she also loved to linger there with me afterward, all sticky and slippery. Lately, because Bai Ruolan was always watching, her movements became more vigorous, and she sweated more.

Xiaoyue saw Bai Ruolan looking at us with envy while writhing in her burning heat, and asked me why I never showed affection to my sister. I said she was just a chair, or a table; you could treat her like anything, but never like a person.

"Why?" Ling Xiaoyue asked, confused. "Isn't it better to treat her like a person?"

"You should ask her," I said. "You think Sister Bai is very beautiful, right? Actually, if she wanted to, she could easily use her abilities to become powerful and influential."

I lit a cigarette and continued, "Unfortunately, in her heart, she's just something to be used by others, she doesn't think about anything, and she lets others do whatever they want with her. That's just how she is."

Bai Ruolan, on the other side, lowered her head in shame.

“Although I still don’t quite understand,” Xiaoyue scratched her head again, but suddenly her eyes lit up, “Can I use you as a toilet, sister?”

This child, who hadn’t learned anything on the street, had quite a few ideas for playing pranks.

“Sure,” I agreed, “Do you want to use it?”

“Yeah, I need to pee a little.”

“Okay.” I got up and went to Bai Ruolan, took the thing that was in her mouth, and replaced it with a mask with a round opening at the mouth position and a lid. Bai Ruolan was very reluctant, looking at me with a panicked look. She was always like this when she came across a new game, but afterwards she immediately liked it very much.

After fixing her head, I let Xiaoyue sit on it. She wasn’t afraid of being watched and urinated as if nothing was wrong.

After she was done, I put the lid on and told Bai Ruolan that not a drop was allowed to be left.

(X)

Women’s intuition is very sharp. When happiness comes too quickly, they will realize that it may be another joke played by fate. Therefore, they have the courage to refuse love that is too eager.

Unlike me, I'm a reserved man, currently brimming with confidence due to the double success in both my career and personal life over the past few months. I feel myself emerging from the shadow of sadness, thanks to Bai Ruolan and Ling Xiaoyue. I don't know when it started, but I've begun to disbelieve in fate again, to believe that my destiny is in my own hands.

But the gears of fate keep turning, never caring whether I believe or not, just relentlessly leading me towards a predetermined future.

While I'm busy rearranging the workspace in the marketing department, giving Cai Yunpei and Bai Ruolan their own offices, I'm also having the company hire a few more people, preparing for a major push on the Shanghai Volkswagen project.

Volkswagen needed an online training platform for its employees. We already had similar products and some implementation experience, but the problem was that their performance requirements were extremely demanding. The requirement for 7,000 people to be online simultaneously and for the system to function smoothly was something no company would easily agree to. I held numerous meetings with technical staff from the R&D and product departments to discuss the feasibility. The consensus was: it's difficult, but not impossible.

After three rounds of interviews, several new recruits arrived in less than a week, all giving it their all.

Among them was a young man named Jiang Yuanlang, whom I greatly admired. Not only was Jiang handsome, but he was also incredibly hardworking. He was reportedly very diligent and studious in school, and this continued even after joining SAP. He frequently traveled between Volkswagen headquarters and SAP, asking clients about their needs, recording everything in detail, and then immediately immersing himself in communicating with the R&D team. He wasn't afraid to tackle ambiguous technical details that even professionals might not understand, ensuring everyone explained them clearly. As a result, the relationship between the R&D and marketing departments became increasingly harmonious thanks to this facilitator. The client also found Jiang very professional, and consequently, SAP as a very professional organization.

But this very subordinate I liked so much caused a little hiccup between Bai Ruolan and me.

That day, while the other marketing department employees were out for lunch, I found Bai Ruolan and asked for her mobile phone number. I planned to get her a dual-number SIM card; she could continue using her old number for work and personal life, and only the two of us would know the new one.

She wrote it on a sticky note and handed it to me. As I looked down at the number, feeling a little strange, she spoke up: "Manager..." I had told her to only call me that at the company.

"What?"

"Could you," she hesitated, but still mustered the courage to say, "could you transfer Xiao Jiang to another group?"

I smiled. Quite a few colleagues were interested in her. Cai Yunpei was obvious, and I even recognized several people from the R&D department because they would often come here under the pretense of looking for something, or taking a packet of sugar for coffee.

She'd seen this many times; I originally thought she could handle it well herself and didn't need my intervention. "So this time…

" "What happened?"

"He…" Bai Ruolan didn't dare look me in the eye, "He kissed me that day…"

"What?" I felt my voice was a bit loud.

"It's not what you think," she quickly explained, "I didn't, it was him, when I wasn't paying attention, just as we were turning a corner…" Her voice trailed off.

"Leave it to me," I said.

Back in my office, I rubbed my face with my hands, picked up the phone, and called Ling Xiaoyue.

Several burly men stood in front of our house, quite imposing. I knew beforehand, so of course I didn't react much, but Jiang Yuanlang was clearly scared and confused, following closely behind me the whole way, as if he would be dragged away if he was a step slower.

Entering the front hall, Ling Xiaoyue was already waiting there, while Bai Ruolan was tied up, her legs spread wide apart, the door wide open, facing the direction we came in.

Seeing this scene, I think not only a naive recent graduate like Xiao Jiang, but anyone else would have stood there frozen, unable to move, just like him.

I didn't invite him to sit down. Instead, I walked over to Bai Ruolan and, without warning, slapped her across the face, then another, and another…

Xiaoyue was familiar with this scene, so she just stared coldly at Jiang Yuanlang.

Bai Ruolan was clever; she learned everything quickly. She already knew that after being slapped, she had to quickly straighten her face and wait for the next one, neither showing any resentment nor any intention to dodge. I slapped her ten times in total; I counted very clearly. Believe me, although it was her face that was hit, and although she was the one sobbing uncontrollably at the time, each sound felt like a whip lashing directly into my heart.

“I’m done. What should you say?” I asked.

“Th…thank you,” she choked out.

I turned to Xiao Jiang, who was staring in disbelief, and said, "You've been doing very well at the company lately, and I have high hopes for you."

I put an arm around his shoulder, and he seemed hesitant to back down. "I sincerely hope you can balance your career and love life; you're capable of doing even better." "

But speaking of which," I pointed to Bai Ruolan, "your Sister Bai is my woman. I can beat her and torment her all night long, as long as I'm happy. But," I held up an index finger and waved it in front of him, "if anyone else dares to touch a hair on her head..."

I pointed to the door we'd come through: "Did you see those people outside? They're all people in Shanghai who don't even have ID. The things they do are so bad that the police don't even know where to begin investigating."

I wasn't lying.

"So," I led him slowly towards the door, "work hard. Once you close this deal with Volkswagen, you'll get a 20,000 yuan bonus, and your salary will increase to 11,000 yuan."

I patted his shoulder, indicating that I wouldn't see him off.

"Goodbye, Manager," he hesitated before saying.

Jiang Yuanlang, this ambitious young man, devoted himself wholeheartedly to his work from then on, and I was gratified that I had led him onto the right path.

Back in the room, I silently put Bai Ruolan down and untied

her. "Does it hurt?" I touched her cheek.

"No, it doesn't hurt," she said softly.

"I had no choice." I used an ice towel to slowly wipe her slightly reddened face.

"Yes, I know." After answering softly, she rested her head on my arm and closed her eyes.

At that moment, it was very quiet, and only the ticking of the clock in the room could be heard. I held her, as if holding my whole life. At that moment, I really wanted to throw her onto my bed and make her my wife.

However, Ling Xiaoyue was still watching, and I ultimately did not do so.

(XI)

Chen Hua's room had not been touched for many years, except for me going in from time to time to tidy up and dust it. On the bedside table was still the photo of the two of us smiling happily with our faces close together in the park. I looked around, but it was strange that the room looked a little unfamiliar today.

The gears of fate clicked.

The telephone rang. The call was from a junior member of the gang. He was breathless, saying, "Brother, brother, Big Sister, she..."

"Don't rush, tell me slowly, what happened to Xiaoyue?"

"Big Sister, she..." The line was still broken. "Something happened."

I threw down the receiver, grabbed a piece of clothing, and drove straight to the Oriental Hospital in Pudong New Area.

Several policemen were standing outside the ward. I identified myself and asked a few questions. They said someone found them on a secluded side road nearby, and there were some small pills at the scene...

I said I'd talk about that later; I just wanted to see how she was.

"Brother, you're here." She was wearing a white hospital gown, badly injured, but still conscious. A transparent oxygen mask covered her mouth, making her already faint voice even harder to hear.

"Brother, I'm so scared." She struggled to raise a hand, and I quickly took it, kissing it with my lips.

I looked closely at her face; it was completely disfigured from the beating. Several cuts were visible on her brow bone, and her cheeks and lips were severely swollen. Large bruises were visible on her neck, peeking out from her collar, and I guessed there must be more on her body.

"They, they..." She remembered what had happened, and her emotions were about to flare. I quickly told her it was alright, that the police had told me, and that they were guarding the door, preventing anyone from getting in.

"Dongzi, where's Dongzi?" Before she could finish the question, she coughed violently, and a bunch of monitoring devices suddenly went off. In less than half a minute, several nurses and a male doctor rushed into the ward. I stepped back to make room for them. The doctor checked the parameters on several instruments, listened to her chest and abdomen, and said, "It might be a ruptured spleen. Tell them to prepare blood plasma and take her to the operating room." The nurses immediately got to work, getting the mobile support, changing the small oxygen cylinder, and opening the wheel axles at the foot of the bed.

As they pushed her to the door, the doctor turned around and asked me, "Are you a family member of the patient?"

I said yes.

He said, "Come with me, sign the papers, pay the fees, the surgery is about to begin."

I said okay.

Apparently, only Xiaoyue and Dongzi were there at the time; the other side consisted of seven men. The reason for the attack is unknown. The police arrived at the scene relatively early, but Dongzi had already stopped breathing by then. His head was almost smashed by a blunt object, and his dying posture was still lying on top of Xiaoyue, protecting her. Among the attackers, one had a broken arm, and two others couldn't walk, so they didn't get far. They were stopped by the police a few blocks away and handcuffed and put in a police car.

Dongzi was truly a hero!

Those thugs had better pray they were sentenced to prison; if they were released, the brothers still outside probably wouldn't let them off the hook.

For the next few weeks, I stayed in the hospital, temporarily leaving all company matters to Cai Yunpei, while Bai Ruolan brought me lunch and dinner every single day.

Sometimes, seeing I was too tired, she'd let me sleep for a while, taking care of me. Several times, I'd wake up groggily to find her lovingly wiping Xiaoyue's forehead with a towel, or gently combing her hair. Because ecstasy and a little methamphetamine were found at the scene, Xiaoyue couldn't escape responsibility. She'd also gotten through the police and court proceedings with the help of several friends; a bail of 50,000 yuan would allow Ling Xiaoyue to wait until January next year, after her injuries had improved, to stand trial.

A month after being admitted to the hospital, her face had almost fully recovered, although the surgical wound still needed time, so I discharged her and took her home.

This way, Bai Ruolan could come to my place legitimately. She just needed to tell the company I was working from home temporarily and she would assist. With modern communication so advanced, she could contact me by phone or fax if anything came up. Plus, things were already on track, and Cai Yunpei and Jiang Yuanlang were both capable, so I could focus on taking care of Ling Xiaoyue.

At home, Bai Ruolan cooked almost all three meals a day. I occasionally helped her, but most of the time I held Xiaoyue, looked at the scenery outside the window with her, and tried to make her talk. She was truly terrified; no matter how long she'd been out on her own, she was still a child. A few times, I simply left her to get a glass of water, and she cried out, "Don't go!" I had no choice but to come back and hold her again. Bai Ruolan saw all this but said nothing.

One day, Bai Ruolan went out to buy some ingredients for dinner. Xiaoyue was staring blankly at Zhangjiang Town when she suddenly turned and called out to me, "Brother?"

"Hmm?" I handed her a cup of tea. She held it but didn't drink it.

“I remember seeing you somewhere before, sister.” I had almost forgotten what she was referring to, but I vaguely realized she was talking about Bai Ruolan’s familiar face when we first met.

“Where?”

“On the news…” She looked up, trying to think, “The news reported that a girl was going to jump off a building, right in the Jin Mao Tower. I remember the face in the footage looked like yours…”

“How could that be? Why would your sister Bai do something like that?”

“I don’t remember either, but the girl didn’t jump. She seemed to have received a phone call or a text message, and then she ran downstairs crying and was stopped by the police.”

I wasn’t sure how credible Xiaoyue’s words were now, but I secretly noted it down and planned to ask Bai Ruolan about it later.

(12)

This is a top-quality diamond ring from Tiffany & Co. in New York, a pt950 six-prong white gold setting with a 0.90-carat main diamond, priced at 160,000. I didn’t haggle. Because I felt it was as beautiful as Bai Ruolan, and shouldn’t be discounted in the slightest.

I just bought it, but I had no plan for when or even if I should take it out.

I opened Chen Hua's door again, the third time in the past week. It seemed I was searching for an answer, or perhaps seeking her approval. I sat on our bed, gently stroking the still clean and soft sheets, trying to recall the feeling of lying there together. But strangely, I couldn't remember anything.

"Am I a heartless person?" I asked. "You've only been gone for two and a half years, and I'm already thinking about starting a new life."

Silence. No one answered.

"If it were you, what would you do? I mean, if I were the one who died first, what would you do?"

Silence. No one answered.

"You said you would follow me, but I certainly wouldn't want you to do that. So what would I want you to do?"

Silence. Still no one answered.

"I think I would hope that a man could love you and cherish you as much as I did; I think I would hope that you two would be happy together. Yes, that's what I would hope for."

I burst into tears. Tears I hadn't shed in countless lonely days, no matter how bitter or heartbreaking, now flowed uncontrollably.

Silence, but someone was crying.

When Bai Ruolan returned, it was drizzling outside, and she hadn't brought an umbrella. So when she came in, her hair was wet. Perhaps from her rush, her face was slightly flushed, which looked beautiful.

"Where's Xiaoyue?" she asked, drying her hair with a towel.

"She's asleep."

"Oh, I also bought her favorite char siu. I'll heat it up when she wakes up. Shall I cook some noodles for you first?"

I said okay, and she put on an apron, went to the stove, and started cooking noodles.

Looking at her beautiful back as she busied herself cooking for me without even resting after coming in, I suddenly felt an overwhelming surge of affection. So I gently walked behind her, stretched out my arms, wrapped them around her, and hugged her. She was startled by the sudden hug, dropping her spoon into the pot. Then, realizing it was me, she giggled.

I brought my mouth close to her ear and whispered, almost like a breath, "I love you."

She stopped laughing. Her body began to sway slightly.

I untied her apron, bit her ear with my teeth, and supported her as she nearly fell. Slowly, she slumped into my arms. I turned her over, picked her up, and solemnly carried her into the living room, turned the corner, went upstairs, and into the bedroom she had never been to before.

Lying on the bed, she was like a little girl being led into a room by a boy for the first time, dizzy and only able to close her eyes, one hand on her forehead, breathing heavily.

I lovingly unbuttoned her blouse one button at a time, slowly and carefully removing her skirt, as if afraid of disturbing a sleeping beauty. She kept her eyes tightly closed, letting my hands and lips roam over her body.

I never knew that her fiery body could be as warm and smooth as jade, nor did I know that her gentle nature was so all-encompassing.

Raindrops pattered against the windowpane outside, while inside, we were in perfect harmony.

The night was deep, but neither of us slept, just lazily embracing each other. She gently stroked my chest, and I counted her hairs. Then I remembered something and told her I had something for her.

She was curious and smiled as I got up and searched my pockets.

At that moment, I heard Xiaoyue shout, "Brother! Brother! Where are you? Brother!"

Then there was a thud, as if she had fallen. I quickly put on my clothes and ran into the living room.

On November 6, 2005, the rain that night was both gentle and cruel.

(13)

In the airport terminal, I repeatedly told her to call back to let me know she was safe once she arrived, and she smiled and agreed. We teased each other, and I said her teacher must be very handsome, otherwise why would she be willing to accompany him all the way to Jordan for a visit? She just replied that she was the only one among his students who had studied Arabic several years ago, so he had to invite her to come along no matter what.

"Go and come back quickly," I said, my hand in my pocket, hesitating, but ultimately not taking it out. Perhaps it would be better to give it to her when she comes back, I thought.

At the last moment before boarding, we suddenly became reluctant to part and hugged each other tightly.

“I don’t know why, but suddenly I don’t want to go,” she said, tears welling in her eyes.

I should have said, “Then stay,” but what came out was, “We’ll meet again.”

But where is the “meeting again”?

A deafening roar of engines echoed from the arched dome of the airport terminal; her plane was taking off.

The gears of fate clicked their final turn, and then smiled at me.

Even in the darkness, the thick black smoke was clearly visible. The entire reception hall of the Radisson Hotel in the city center had collapsed; bricks and rubble were everywhere, along with indistinct, mangled limbs.

The nearby streets were illuminated as brightly as day by the lights of fire trucks and police cars. Arabic subtitles appeared on the screens, and reporters from Al Jazeera and CNN anchors were reporting the latest developments to their viewers with tense and sorrowful expressions.

Rescue workers were constantly calling out to their companions, and then groups of people dragged out one survivor or another body.

Within five minutes, the Grand Hyatt and Days Inn hotels also exploded, gripping the hearts of people worldwide.

I frantically called the Ministry of Foreign Affairs' press office, only to be repeatedly told: "Still under verification!"

Two hours later, news broke that Israel had notified its citizens to evacuate the three hotels three hours before the explosions, leading the international community to suspect prior intelligence.

I chain-smoked, burning cigarettes. It was confirmed that Chinese citizens were among the casualties, but the exact number and list could not yet be released.

Two more hours passed, and world leaders sent messages of condolence, expressing their deep sorrow for the dead and condemning terrorism.

This time, the press office proactively called. The first batch of names had been verified: the three Chinese citizens killed in the explosions were all students from the National Defense University of China: Sun Jingbo, male, 41 years old; Zhang Kangping, male, 42 years old; and Bai Ruolan, female, 27 years old.

On the night of November 9, 2005, in a hotel in Amman, the capital of Jordan, a man carrying a bomb pushed his wife out at the last moment before the explosion.

However, he left my wife in Amman forever.

(XIV)

Zhang Zhao: By the time you see this letter, we will probably be separated by life and death.

This is for you to receive from a close friend of mine.

I don't know why, but before I left, I felt that it would be the last time we would be together. Now that you have seen these words, it means I guessed right.

There are some things you don't know, and perhaps I should have left with them forever, but I always feel that I owe you too much, regardless of whether these things were truly meant for me.

I once stood on the top floor of the Jin Mao Tower in Lujiazui, thinking only of ending the rest of my life. Not for any other reason, but because I thought that the love of my life had passed away. Of course, you would laugh at me, but at that time, I didn't want anyone but him. I don't know if he saw the news broadcast. Just before I jumped, my phone received a text message: "I love you, come back!" I didn't look at the number; my heart told me it must be him. So I ran down the stairs crying, vowing to follow him for the rest of my life, even if it meant being his slave.

When I returned to our shared apartment, I found him in bed with another woman. It turned out he hadn't sent the message; he didn't even know where I'd been.

I laughed at myself. Bai Ruolan, Bai Ruolan, you weren't meant to die. Heaven saved your life at the crucial moment and showed you whether risking your life for a man like that was worth it.

But having survived, I had a new goal. I felt my life was given to me by the true owner of that message.

So I searched everywhere. Using a single number, I asked at almost every China Mobile branch in Shanghai, finally finding your registered address. But when I got there, you had already moved away.

Quite by chance, a classmate heard your name and said that you were once a somewhat charismatic young entrepreneur, now working at SAP. I immediately quit my job at Microsoft and went to work for you. During the interview, I couldn't wait to ask about you. Although I was somewhat prepared, I was still secretly surprised when I actually saw you: you were so handsome! I remember you gently holding my hand, lighter than anyone else's. I was so grateful to you, because if you had used even a little more force, I would have collapsed on the spot.

Yes, I fell in love with you at first sight.

For everything that happened afterward, I could only thank you.

Gradually, I learned more about you, including many touching stories about you and your ex-wife. I also learned that it was the message you accidentally sent in your grief that saved my life, because our numbers were only one digit apart! So when I wrote down my number and handed it to you, I clearly saw the surprise in your eyes. At that moment, I almost believed you knew something, but unfortunately, you didn't.

The time I spent with you and Xiaoyue was the most beautiful time of my life. I also like Xiaoyue very much, just like you, like a daughter.

As I write this, I am crying uncontrollably. I hate myself for having to say what I should have told you long ago in this situation.

I love you, a thousand times over.

Forever yours: Bai Ruolan (15)

Ling Xiaoyue sat by the window, looking at the scenery outside. I cooked rice for her and brought it to the table near her. I talked to her and fed her.

She ate happily, but didn't say much.

Just as she swallowed a mouthful of rice, she asked, "Brother?"

"Hmm?" I had just scooped up a spoonful of rice and was about to put it in her mouth.

"When my arm and leg are healed," she swallowed, "if I am willing to be your furniture," I heard the tremor in her voice, "can you not leave me?"

She looked at me with teary eyes, and I tried hard not to drop the bowl and chopsticks on the ground.

I put down the rice bowl unsteadily and hugged her tightly.

"You're not going anywhere, we'll be together forever."

For a moment, I felt like I was holding Ling Xiaoyue, but it also felt like Chen Hua, and also like Bai Ruolan.

Then I understood, this is my destiny, the one I wanted to hold tight to but could never hold tight to is the love of my life.

URL 1:https://www.sexlove5.com/htmlBlog/221195.html

URL 2:/Blog.aspx?id=221195&aspx=1

Last access time:

Previous Page : An irresistible fetish for metal

Next Page : The scent of autumn

增加

comment Open a new window to view comments

Contact Information

That night, that rain, that feeling

comment Open a new window to view comments