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How many of these four "poisons" in heterosexual relationships do you know? 

    page views:1  Publication date:2023-04-07  
Marriage often begins with many beautiful moments, but problems inevitably arise later. Marriage differs from dating; it involves numerous琐事 (trivial matters) that both partners must share. Sometimes, even if both are willing to shoulder these responsibilities, improper problem-solving can damage the relationship. How many of these four "poisons" in a romantic relationship do you know?
How many of these four "poisons" in heterosexual relationships do you know?
1. There are four "poisons" in relationships. American psychologist Professor John Gottman spent over 40 years analyzing happy and fulfilling couples and those who painfully break up. He found four things that can kill a relationship: constant nagging and criticism, excessive expression of contempt (such as sarcasm), adopting a defensive posture, and building stone walls (referring to both parties completely shutting down communication channels).
2. There is overlap and difference between love and sexual desire. Both involve brain regions related to emotions, motivation, and higher-level thinking. Research shows that sexual desire is not only an emotion but also involves many higher-level thinking processes, while love is reflected in the activity of the striatum of the brain, which is the difference between them.
3. Falling in love takes only 0.2 seconds. When you see someone you like, your brain releases various hormones, including oxytocin, dopamine, antidiuretic hormone, and adrenaline, in just 0.2 seconds. In a sense, the feeling that love brings to the brain is similar to a small dose of drugs.
4. Kissing reveals intimacy. Kissing is an important way to test a new partner and helps maintain intimacy. Studies have found a positive correlation between the number of kisses and the level of intimacy between partners. However, frequent sex does not necessarily equate to intimacy.
5. Couples tend to look more alike after 25 years of marriage. Studies have found that couples who have been married for more than 25 years tend to have more similar facial features.
6. Long-distance relationships can succeed. Contrary to common sense, research has found that couples separated by distance can maintain a close relationship. However, both parties must first do two things: share very private personal information with each other and avoid having unrealistic fantasies about their partner.
7. Marriage is also about self-growth. Research has found that the needs and desires associated with marriage have changed dramatically over time. In the past, people hoped marriage would provide security and a sense of belonging; today, they also hope it will contribute to self-growth and self-actualization. Unfortunately, these needs are often overlooked.
8. A simple way to save your marriage. If your relationship needs some warmth and care, don't rush to see a therapist; watching a movie together can easily achieve the same result. A three-year study found that couples who watched romantic films and discussed them together had a significantly lower divorce rate. Researchers stated, "The educational effect of movies surpasses a whole host of techniques for reducing divorce rates."
9. Don't overlook the little things. Living in a highly commercialized society, we subconsciously believe that love is a commodity that can be bought and sold, but in reality, love is about "details determining success or failure." A study of more than 4,000 British adults found that small gestures of care are often the most appreciated by one's partner. Pouring your partner a cup of tea, taking out the trash for them, or complimenting their physique are all good ways to show affection.
10. Properly manage post-divorce relationships. Divorce does not mean the end of a once-close relationship, especially when there are children involved. There are five ways divorced couples can maintain their relationship. The first three are better: broken duo (usually the father of the children is no longer involved); perfect partners (both remain best friends); cooperative colleagues (maintaining contact, but keeping it brief). The latter two should be avoided as much as possible: angry partners (arguments continue); vicious enemies (children become victims of the conflict, suffering emotional and physical harm).
A happy marriage is one where you turn a blind eye to things. Of course, turning a blind eye doesn't mean blindly tolerating things, but rather accepting each other's shortcomings and continuing to live peacefully. One thing that is particularly taboo between husband and wife is complaining, but most women like to complain. In marriage, women not only need to take care of their appearance, but also control their nagging mouths.

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