The more pain you experience during sex, the more pleasure you get.

page views:1 Publication date:2023-04-21

The numerous bruises on Alan's body, a woman who had married out of the country, were accidentally discovered by her mother, who was heartbroken. At first, she thought they were "aftereffects" of a fight between the young couple and was even preparing to confront her new son-in-law. However, after repeated questioning, the truth shocked her. It turned out that those violent acts were what her daughter enjoyed during their sex life, believing that only in this way could she find it "exciting" and "satisfying."
The mother became increasingly uneasy, suspecting that her daughter had a sexual psychological disorder, so she accompanied her to see a psychologist. Through patient conversation, the doctor unexpectedly uncovered a hidden story about another patient with a sexual psychological disorder—her husband, Mr. Li:
Mr. Li was a computer engineer who graduated from a prestigious university in China. He used to work in Northwest China. Although he was introverted and aloof, his skills were top-notch in the area. Three years ago, he ventured south to Guangzhou, and through hard work and perseverance, finally owned his own computer company. Leveraging his work conditions and technical advantages, Li indulged in online activities during his spare time, particularly enjoying scenes of "fists and pillows, passion and tenderness," or being captivated by web pages depicting "licking excrement and urine, needle pricks, and breast cutting." He became increasingly addicted, trapped in a state of obsession where he "couldn't live a day without it," becoming a true "internet addict"!
While his business flourished, Li's love life was quite fraught with difficulties. Every girlfriend he dated broke up with him. After his live-in girlfriend broke up with him, his wife, whom he had been married to for less than six months, also resolutely divorced him. Outsiders were baffled until Alan's words today revealed the whole story: it turned out that Li had a strange fetish for tying up and whipping his sexual partners during sex, finding pleasure in the most intense acts—how could an ordinary woman endure such cruel "dancing with wolves"?
But life is unpredictable, and "even a lame myna will find a flying grasshopper." It wasn't until he met Alan that their need for "complementarity" stabilized their marriage.
In medical psychology, Li's and Alan's situations are respectively called sexual sadism and sexual masochism, collectively known as "sadism disorder."
Sexual sadism refers to inflicting physical or mental pain on a sexual partner before or during intercourse to obtain sexual pleasure and arousal (note that this is not for other purposes, nor for revenge, curiosity, etc.); sexual masochism refers to demanding that a sexual partner inflict physical or mental pain on oneself before or during intercourse to obtain sexual pleasure and arousal. Severe sadism involves individuals who damage the sexual organs of their victims, even seeking pleasure in bloodshed, sometimes to the point of murder or dismemberment, a condition known as "sexual homicide." Such cases have been reported both domestically and internationally. These "night terror" type "rainy night killers" undoubtedly pose a significant threat to society, requiring our utmost vigilance! From a forensic psychiatric perspective, masochism is routinely considered a form of full criminal responsibility.
Scholars believe that female patients with masochism attempt to overcome or offset their own sexual guilt through this symbolic "punishment" behavior. Although the exact causes of sadism are not fully understood, we can still observe two contributing factors in Li Gong's case. One is his personality. Some foreign experts believe that "typical sadists are often shy, passive, and have extreme prejudices against women and hate women." According to Alan, "male chauvinism" was particularly prominent in Mr. Li, who often said, "The wife I married is like a horse I bought; I can ride her and beat her as I please!" Secondly, the "spiritual opium" of online pornography corrupted his soul. Experts have long pointed out that exposure to pornography can cause primary damage (such as intense sexual arousal and persistent masturbation) as well as secondary damage (such as distorted sexual understanding and increased aggression towards women). Studies have also shown that the longer the use of pornography, the longer the duration of sexual perversion, and the use of pornography also promotes recurrent crimes. Therefore, timely correction of undesirable personality tendencies and conscious resistance to the negative influence of "pornographic" media are of profound significance for promoting mental health. Sadists need specialized guidance from psychologists. Finally, it's important to clarify that the motivation behind genuine sadomasochistic behavior isn't to intentionally cause suffering to others or themselves, but rather that such abuse arouses sexual excitement in them. We sometimes witness dramatic scenes where a sadist, after "abusing" their sexual partner, is immediately filled with apologies and showers them with care and affection, leaving the partner bewildered and amused. Those who use razor blades, needles, or corrosive chemicals to damage the clothes or body of complete strangers and then quickly flee the scene are also generally categorized as sadomasochistic.

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The more pain you experience during sex, the more pleasure you get.

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