Precautions for having sex in the bedroom

page views:1 Publication date:2023-05-11

In modern society, couples have far less sex life than experts recommend. Especially after the birth of children, work, housework, and childcare gradually become the focus of life, and many couples even have to schedule time for sex… A US survey shows that although many couples may have very strong desires for each other during the day when they are apart—for example, a husband might daydream about his wife while in a meeting, or a woman might be reminded of past romance by a photograph on the table—they inexplicably lose these feelings when they return home.
Recently, Keith Aberro, a psychologist at the well-known American sexual health website "Redbook," pointed out that "lack of sexual interest at home" has nothing to do with marital affection; what often dampens the interest is the tediousness and triviality of housework. Because 93% of married couples' sexual activity takes place in their own bedroom, both partners should make an effort to create a beautiful environment in the bedroom, making it a romantic and special place, rather than a place filled with various appliances, serving as an entertainment venue or office:
a large bed is not conducive to intimacy. Many people believe that the bigger the bed, the more comfortable it is. Aberro believes that a slightly cramped bed is more conducive to intimacy between couples. Physical contact is the most direct form of affection; when hands and feet touch, it not only provides warmth and security but can sometimes even ignite passion on days when there's no sexual intimacy planned. A large bed where neither partner can reach the other can create a sense of distance.
Sheets and duvet covers should be changed frequently. These items are the best way to create a fresh feel in the bedroom. Sheer fabrics, brightly colored cotton, and smooth silk—while everyone has different preferences, the relaxation from touching beautiful bedding is the same. Only by frequently changing and keeping them clean, and ensuring the colors, patterns, and materials match both partners' aesthetics, can the instinct for enjoyment be awakened.
Maintaining privacy in the bedroom is also important. The bedroom should be off-limits for children, which allows couples to place sexually stimulating items appropriately, such as nude sculptures, paintings, intimate photos of the couple, and erotic books. From a sexual psychology perspective, couples' expectations for the bedroom environment are generally psychological requirements, typically encompassing three specific aspects: sufficient security, moderate sexual stimulation, and room for imagination.
Aberro suggests placing a bottle of perfume on the bedside table, but without opening the cap, allowing the fragrance to subtly waft out, creating an ambiguous mood.
The bedroom color scheme should suit the wife's preferences. Since a wife's sexual motivation is more easily influenced by her environment, the bedroom color scheme should prioritize her feelings, generally following the principle of "opposites attract," meaning the mood conveyed by the color scheme should contrast with the wife's public persona. A passionate and outgoing wife should choose delicate and expressive colors, such as beige; a reserved and demure wife should choose bright and cheerful colors, such as orange or light red. Contrasting colors will encourage the wife to fully engage in sexual activity, stimulating rich emotions she doesn't usually express.
In terms of orientation, south- or east-facing rooms are best suited to neutral colors, west-facing rooms can use cool colors, and north-facing rooms are more suitable for warm colors. Furniture should generally be in warm colors to enhance the cozy atmosphere.
Bedside lamps should ideally be adjustable. Before making love, dim and soft lighting can create a hazy, dreamlike ambiance. Studies show that couples observing each other's sexual arousal and physiological responses in soft lighting can enhance mutual sexual excitement.
Don't treat the bedroom like a dressing room. Aberro points out that couples should maintain a sense of mystery and avoid changing clothes in front of each other in the bedroom. For most ordinary couples, nudity isn't aesthetically pleasing, so "why expose our shortcomings?"
Also, while it's not necessary to dress incredibly sexy in the bedroom every day, it's best not to dress too conservatively in bed either. A conservative wife might occasionally wear a silk nightgown, while the husband should ideally change his underwear daily.
Occasionally sleep separately. Aberro suggests that when couples are experiencing night shifts, late returns home, or working late into the night at home for a period of time, they might try sleeping separately for a few days. This not only avoids unnecessary drowsiness for the early-to-bed partner but also adds a sense of mystery, making reunions as exciting and stimulating as dating. Alternatively, when a couple has a strong emotional foundation but finds their sexual interest waning, sleeping separately can help rekindle that interest.
Sleeping separately doesn't necessarily mean sleeping in two separate rooms. Popular methods like "separate beds but not separate rooms" or "separate blankets but not separate beds" are also good solutions.

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