Confessing sexual feelings and seeking orgasm

page views:1 Publication date:2023-05-15

Due to a lack of sex education, many women, even after years of marriage, still don't know what orgasm is. Research suggests that orgasm is a special pleasure experienced during intercourse. During a female orgasm, the uterus, vagina, and anal sphincter contract simultaneously in 0.8-second cycles, causing a sensation in the clitoris that spreads throughout the body, accompanied by strong muscle contractions, increased breathing and heart rate, and elevated blood pressure.

Many healthy women experience their first orgasm several years after marriage, some even after childbirth. Often, the woman's attention lags behind her husband's, while men tend to be impatient and quick to stop at crucial moments, preventing many couples from sharing that blissful experience.

Recent domestic and international sexological research suggests that to achieve orgasm, women should boldly express their sexual feelings to their husbands, as this can be beneficial. A survey of 515 married women conducted by a domestic sexology research institute revealed that only 20% of wives who rarely express their sexual feelings achieve orgasm, while over 50% of women who frequently discuss their sexual feelings with their husbands achieve orgasm, and 67% of wives who regularly guide their husbands in sexual actions achieve orgasm.
Although China has a long history of sexual culture, modern Chinese sexual culture has had a restrictive effect. Due to certain societal constraints, many wives are hesitant to express their sexual feelings to their husbands, viewing sex as a burden or even developing an aversion to it. Therefore, we suggest that wives who do not frequently achieve orgasm should not be ashamed to discuss their sexual feelings with their husbands. So, how should a wife talk to her husband about it?

1. After sexual intercourse, and when both partners feel satisfied, you can express to your husband what you enjoyed about his actions during sex. Be careful to only mention what you found comfortable and pleasurable, and avoid mentioning anything negative or unsatisfactory. This can encourage your husband's confidence and stimulate his affection.

2. Tell your husband about your feelings and emotional needs during sex. Just be honest and detailed, but avoid specifically targeting his shortcomings.
3. Analyze which days of the month you are most likely to have sexual desire and share this general pattern with your husband, without delving into the reasons.

4. Clearly explain to your husband what you would like him to do during sex and how to do it well. This isn't a demand or an order; simply state that you would be more satisfied if he did these things.

5. Discuss with your husband the effects and benefits of specific practices during sex, including those that have negative effects or are ineffective.
6. Explain to your husband that you find it difficult to have sex as usual when the child is present, especially when the child is awake or crying. Even if you try, it won't be enjoyable and may even lead to a complete lack of interest.

7. Tell your husband which of his practices you dislike, whether before, after, or during sex.

8. Suggest that your husband change some of his practices during sex, including his caresses, intercourse techniques, timing, and location. It's best to be specific in your suggestions. If you're unsure, you can simply suggest changes, and then work together to discover the best approach.
9. When you're unwilling or uninterested, clearly tell your doctor, "I don't want to have sex right now."

10. Tell your husband what he does during sex that makes you uncomfortable or unhappy.

11. Point out to your husband that you prefer tender conversation or other forms of communication before, during, or after sex, such as facial expressions, actions, gestures, and sounds.

12. You can ask your doctor to delay ejaculation to prolong intercourse and allow you to experience the desired sensations.
13. If you prefer gentle caresses and touches from your husband but aren't very interested in direct intercourse, you should also tell him this truth.
The above communication should be done gradually, step by step. In other words, no matter how much trouble or dissatisfaction you have, you must start by telling your husband about things you enjoy and appreciate, even if such things have happened only once. Doing so can not only help resolve specific problems but also significantly improve your mental well-being and overall psychological health.

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