Have you ever played Tianxia II? Check out these newbie quotes!

page views:1 Publication date:2022-04-16

This is a collection of quotes from a gaming newbie, containing her joy, frustration, and various other emotions. Just like all newbies who are just starting out in games, we explore in ignorance and find joy in the process.
At first glance, it made me laugh so hard I rolled on the floor. But upon closer inspection, we realize we're all the same—just little newbies. As long as we embrace that joy, being a newbie is actually quite nice.
Close-up observation record
P.S.: Actually, the full name is "A Close Look at the Newbies' Record," or more accurately, "A Newbie's Close Look at the Newbies' Record."
1
When I was chatting with Mr. X about online games, I remarked:
The last online game I played was Haha. In Haha's newbie village, there was a sign that read, "Caution: Cliff! Watch out for falling!" I wanted to go closer to see what the sign said, so I waited...
By the time I finally saw clearly, I had already fallen and been brutally killed by the monsters below. From then on, I was no longer meant for online games.
So, X was unusually excited and invited me to play Tianxia 2 together... For a long time, I thought X wasn't just looking for a companion, but rather someone even more useless than herself...
2
The download and installation process was extremely complicated; even after the download was complete, the connection kept dropping when I tried to log in.
I confided in X, "It seems fate doesn't want me to play this game." X calmly comforted me, "God, is it truly irreversible?"
I was speechless: That's not how lines are used!
3
Since Haha's poorly chosen name led to his untimely demise, I'd like to choose a more auspicious name.
However, the name "劫数" (jieshu, meaning calamity) had already been registered by someone else.
After I disconnected and reconnected several times in the game, X would ask me with a hint of sympathy:
Are you particularly disappointed that you didn't register the name "劫数" (Jieshu)?
4
Someone in the game complimented me: "Your name is so well chosen, it really touches me!" Of course, I didn't name myself "Calamity," my name is "Prajnaparamita."
From then on, Yi Jian, who was touched by my name, always called me "Pineapple".
5
The interface of Tianxia 2 is actually quite similar to that of Moon Shadow Legend. For the Ice Heart class, the default quick skills for beginners are: 1 is Miraculous Hand, 2 is Bone Misalignment, and 3 is Nine Star Begonia.
The first monster-hunting quest I took on was fighting bees. When I was almost dead, I wanted to use a skill, so I pressed the shortcut key 1.
Then I saw a bubble appear above the character's head, saying: "Brothers and sisters, please help me out!"
6
At that time, I didn't know that the numeric keypad and numpad in Tianxia 2 were actually not interchangeable. I thought it was a well-thought-out and thoughtful design by NetEase.
The game explores the profound philosophy that unity is strength, where players work together to defeat enemies by using skills that allow them to ask for help during battle.
However, there were obviously no older brothers or sisters in the newbie village who paid attention to me, so before I reached level 10, I relied on fighting monsters head-on and seeing who could lose health faster to get through these tasks.
As Bing Xin, is it easy for me?
7
Of course I had a mentor, and that mentor was none other than Ms. X, who was undoubtedly my mentor. At that time, she was level 33.
As a newbie in my early teens, I was quite impressed by how she effortlessly swept away those monsters that had been torturing me half to death.
At times like this, she would mutter: "Hurry up and level up, hurry up and level up! Once you're leveled up, you can come with me to fight monsters. I can't beat those monsters over there!"
I suddenly felt that my future was utterly bleak...
8
When I was in my 20s, X was still in his 30s.
She's been running around Salt Spring Village a lot lately, supposedly to complete the quest to kill the Yaksha King.
I wonder: Is it that difficult?
Mr. X replied with a sigh: "Extremely fierce."
One day, I passed by Yanquan Village and saw this quest. I accepted it and found that it was a level 19 quest.
So I wanted to see just how ferocious it was. I charged in alone. Using healing and basic attacks, I actually managed to whittle it down.
The next day, I calmly told X the result, and she burst into tears. I admit I did it on purpose.
Although I am your apprentice, I also have a feeling of disappointment that you are not living up to your potential!
9
Yi Jian asked: Is this a new server? Why are all the accounts alts?
X replied seriously: "As far as I know, this server opened last May." I stared at X's level, which was around 30+ like mine. *Ahem*, that's a really good question that reveals your age.
10
Yi Jian was shocked by our complete ignorance of the game. He asked indignantly, "Who taught you guys? Don't they ever teach you?" I innocently pointed at X-kun: "She taught me! She's been teaching me all along!" X-kun looked up at the sky innocently.
11
Yi Jian felt deep sympathy for my plight. Since he himself was also a low-level character, he asked his master to teach me martial arts.
During this time, he patiently asked: Do you have a better understanding of this game now?
I answered seriously: Yes, I deeply understand the universal truth that it's good to have a big tree to lean on.
If he were to continue the interview by asking, "At this moment of realizing the truth, who did you think of?" I would tell him, "I thought of my mentor, Mr. X."
If he continues to ask, "Besides this, what other proverbs have you come to understand?" I will tell him with tears in my eyes, "Children of poor families learn to be independent early!"
12
But he didn't ask that; he asked:
Is my mentor very good at analysis?
I answered seriously: Yes, your logic is rigorous, showing the demeanor of a master! He continued to ask: My master is also very strong, right?
I answered seriously: Yes, sword energy is like the wind, bold and unrestrained, this is the essence of roaming the martial world.
Then the silent, rational, and composed master spoke up: Stop! I'm going to throw up!
13
Of course, Ms. X has her own guidelines and strategies.
She gave me a strict order:
You are not allowed to go to Bashu if your life skill level is below level 12!
You are not allowed to go to the Central Plains if your life skills are below level 36!
I tearfully begged for leniency, but Mr. X earnestly advised me: "No pain, no gain!"
At this moment, I thought of my grandmother, who always used to say to me: "A thousand pieces of gold are not as good as a skill to rely on!"
Of course, that was a very, very long time ago.
14
Although X and I decided on our development direction—she would focus on poison and I on healing—a team of two Ice Hearts, two useless Ice Hearts, was still too inefficient.
Therefore, I think it's necessary to drag someone who won't think I'm useless into this mess.
15
I went to a vegetarian restaurant with my classmates, and we started talking about Buddhist principles, which was appropriate for the occasion.
I said: What does emptiness mean? Emptiness is not nothingness, but rather something unreal. For example, online games are very illusory.
The classmate clapped his hands, smiled, and nodded.
I said: What is enlightenment? Enlightenment is not aversion, but understanding. For example, when you see someone addicted to online games, you can understand their addiction, but you also sympathize with their lack of enlightenment.
The classmate clapped his hands, smiled, and nodded.
After dinner, my classmate asked: "Now what? What are you going to do?"
I suggested: Let's play some games?
The classmate sighed with regret, then happily replied: Okay!
16
At the internet cafe, I secretly peeked at my classmate's computer. I was excited to see her register a Yunlu account and choose the name "Haoyue Dangkong Mi" (meaning "Lost in the Bright Moonlight").
Well, I have to say, this name is embarrassingly awkward.
17
"The music is great, the visuals are exquisite, but the missions are a bit boring." This is Haoyue's review of Tianxia 2.
"You haven't seen anything more boring yet!" I thought to myself.
18
Haoyue said: Sigh, I don't think I'll ever reach level 20 in this game. Running around like this is too boring.
Haoyue said: Her auto-pathfinding is so slow, can't she run faster? Haoyue said: I'm not going to become your apprentice anymore, someone level 60+ wants to be my master!
Haoyue excitedly called me and said: "Ah! I love this game so much! There's a mission in it where you have to jump, haha!!"
19
I didn't witness Haoyue's rise to prominence in a certain server of the Haha guild back then. I only remember that she was once criticized for using Haha in a PvP battle.
So, of the experience points she gained from leveling up from the teens to the twenties, a small portion came from dungeons her master led her through, and the rest were from the Haha quests.
20
Occasionally, Haoyue and I would go to internet cafes to play games. After we opened the game, she would head straight to Jiuli to jump around and laugh, while I would head straight to Zhongyuan to chop down bees.
Since cutting down bees was so boring, I would watch her jump while conducting the interview:
Why do you enjoy doing this task so much?
"Because this task offers high experience points and a sense of accomplishment."
Why don't you just join Haha Group?
“因为好久没有玩生疏了，只有在天下2，我才能感受到我还是一个高手啊。。。”
21
我密x君，你那儿有法杖么？
x君说：没有啊，怎么了？
我说：其实也没什么，皓月装备了一根针，于是她的法术用不了了。
x君愤怒了：她一个云麓戴什么针啊！！
22
x君继续问：她的法杖呢？
我答：拿去喂马了。。
x君：…………
我没有告诉她的是，除了针，皓月还留下了刀啊、剑啊之类的装备，独独把法杖拿去喂马了。
23
其实我们真的不应该嘲笑皓月的。
我30+级的时候在松木林和一个同级的奕剑组队做任务，过了一会他问我：
你有剑么？什么剑都可以，我没有剑就不能用技能。。。我翻了翻包裹，如实回答：没有
然后忍不住好奇的追问：你的剑呢？
“喂马了……”
24
有一天开皓月的号，我惊悚的发现她的传送竟然都没有开？
对于我无法置信的疑问，皓月表现得相当淡定——我不知道这个怎么开，我以为点一下石头然后再点自动寻路就可以传送过去了，不过每次都是跑着过去。。。
叹息，菜鸟果然是比较出来的啊！
25
皓月找她的师父带她做师徒任务，约好在九黎见。那个沉默冷酷的高手看见她在地图上从幽谷深处一格一格的移动过来的时候，终于忍不住问了：
你怎么跑过来？你这边的传送没有开么？
良久，皓月回答：不好意思师父，我不知道这边有传送，我是飞过来的。
高手是不该说话的，于是那个沉默冷酷的高手继续沉默了。
26
跟着大号们刷副本，看他们指哪打哪的气概着实让人羡慕。
刷完之后，我诚心道谢告辞。
一个60后随口问了一句：你要去哪儿？
我随口回答：带小号做任务。。。
然后瞬间冷场，半响，一个70后喃喃自语：可是你自己就很小啊。。
其实我想说：不要看我菜，还有人比我更菜啊~~
27
x君到白水台做跳跃任务，失败掉下去她就在白水台绕一圈挖点矿再回来跳。。
其结果是——
她的生活技能从1级到了20级，也。。。还是没有跳过去。
28
我跟着x君到白水台做跳跃任务，过了一会她问：怎么不跳了？
我有气无力的回答：白水台的瀑布太难爬了
x君大惊：你是从瀑布爬上去的？下面不是有个传送点么？
我：囧
29
x君自从在白水台跳水未遂后，就迷上了采矿这个职业。她除了自己连做补天任务都是用走的，只为了采集路上的矿外，还每天对我施压要求我提高生活技能自给自足。
可是对于一个没有方向感又不注意观察的人来说，采集草料实在是一个过于艰巨的任务了。
不过很快我就在九黎南门发现了一株火麻，每当x君逼我提高生活技能的时候我就守在南门口，等它长出来再摘，摘了
再等。
我不知道这个算守株待兔还是拔苗助长。
不过靠着这一颗草，我的采集技能升到了10级……
30
皓月算我的半个徒弟，也就算x君的半个徒孙。当皓月二十七八级的时候，x君语重心长的嘱咐我：皓月也快30级了吧，你该和她合计合计看她要学个什么手艺了，我学的首饰你学的软甲，她学个硬甲或者武器就差不
多了……
看着她深谋远虑的样子，我的心情十分的复杂……这真的是mmorpg而不是养成类游戏么？
31
x君陪我去打蜀州的盗神，npc给了我两块棉花据说可以消不良状态。
异常艰辛的打完之后，我惊呼：啊，我忘记用这个棉花了。
x君有气无力的说：忘了就忘了吧，反正也打过了。。过了一会，她大怒：喂！！你现在用有什么用啊！！同队的奕剑沉默了。。。
32
奕剑发邮件找我帮着做任务，我很高兴的想：冰心还是很有用的嘛。。。
此君把我带到野地，小心翼翼的指着前面问：看到了么？就是那个！
我作了然状，先帮两人加好本脉，然后意气风发的说：好了，上吧
他沉着的说：恩，凭我们两个是打不过的，你去把他们引开吧。。。
于是我就泪奔了。。。
于是怪就跟着我奔了。。。
33
x君接了个炸碉堡的任务，但周围都是红名的怪。她沉着的说：好友，看你的了！
我认命的跑过去引怪。
过了一会，她高兴的说：好了！
然后系统显示：般若波罗蜜死了
其实我想说：我就是那董存瑞啊！！
34
x君是一个严谨的人，对于没有目的的事情总是很难理解。
有一天她看到有人在三岔口跳来跳去，围观了半天，对我感慨：
网游里的人真是太神奇了……
过了几天，她和我去做祈福补天，做完之后在紫荆谷，她开始骑着马跳过来跳过去。
看着她风卷残云马长嘶的丰姿，我只想到一句话——不在网游中变态，就在网游中变态。
35
快到30级的时候我才开始设置快捷键和键盘，第一个要设置的，就是把小键盘的快捷短语给换了。
我对着x君按1，屏幕显示：不可逼吾啊~~
我对着x君按2，屏幕显示：杀生为护生，斩业非斩人。我对着x君按3，屏幕显示：剑是什么？
x君说：我倒很想知道你脑子是什么……
36
在望川镇的外面对着小怪玩快捷短语，逗一个红名的怪来追我
一边跑一边喊：
不可逼吾啊~~
你始终不能明白静心的含义么？
…………
在我还没把快捷短语全部按过一轮的时候，小怪在一阵激光中奇迹的消失了。
我停下来疑惑张望，一个70的大号发出了组队申请。这位奕剑在队伍频道喃喃自语：看不下去了……我从来不带小号的……实在是看不下去了……唉，你跟着我走吧。
37
马蹄岭那里的蜜蜂异常好打，而且身上还带有藏金阁任务所需的中原奇石。我和x君就总是窝在这里打蜜蜂。
有一天x君无意提议：要是在这里打蜜蜂打到升级不知道要打多久……
我英勇的附议了。。。
那一瞬间我俩同时想到了——十里坡剑神。
38
计算一下，按照目前我们的等级情况和蜜蜂的经验值情况，x君升到下一级要打一万三千多只蜜蜂，而我至少要打三万只。
这个过于飘渺的数字有点让人心灰意冷，于是我们把初步目标订在了一万只。
刷了一下午刷到200只蜜蜂后，我们悲哀的发现包裹里装那个中原铁石的上限其实只有200.
39
我在地区频道吆喝：杀蜜蜂刷经验值的进组
有人同样在马蹄岭刷藏金阁任务，我围着他转，一边转一边刷：杀蜜蜂刷经验值的进组
x君胆战心惊的说：我真担心别人看不下去了开红杀你啊……
40
我把称谓改成了“挑战十里坡剑神”，然后我发现找我切磋的人蓦然多了起来。
41
一个和我同级的太虚找我切磋，我几回合就输了。他躲在角落画圈圈，哀怨的说：你没认真玩！你敷衍我！作为一个输家，我还得安慰他：我没有敷衍你，我本来水平就差……
他依旧哀怨的说：骗人！你就是没有认真玩！
我狂汗：我骗你做什么啊，我是新手……
他愤怒了：你都快50级了还新手！！
42
我不得不实话实说：我的经验值都是混的。。
他说：那好吧，你陪我去杀人
我囧了，问他：杀谁？
他说：不知道，杀路人吧
我拒绝了他这个疯狂的提议：如我的名字，我是佛教徒，守五戒不杀生。
他又愤怒了：你都快50级了杀了多少怪了！！
43
不知道为什么，我的名字前面突然出现了一个鲜红的血字。
看看x君，她的名字前面也出现了一个鲜红的血字。我以为这是冰心独有的标志，表示这是一个可以加血的职业。
x君说：这个啊，势力标志吧，刚才不是有个叫铁血啥的势力邀请你加入势力了么？
44
势力战的时候，我不明所以的继续到处乱跑，于是不明所以的被杀了
我不明所以的复活，又不明所以的被杀
我想了一个瞒天过海的主意，把称谓改成”尸体“，然后在别人冲过来的时候使用装死的表情
敌对势力的高手冷冷的看着躺在地上的我半天，一刀又把我解决了……
很久之后我才知道，真尸体和假尸体，区别还是挺大的。
45
不过x君热爱上了装死这个表情，她总会在花前月下突然的大叫一声倒在我的面前。
这里的花前通常是指——杀蜜蜂的时候
这里的月下通常是指——下副本的时候。
第一次下副本的时候她装死，我大吃一惊，准备复活却发现她血是满的。
我克制了很久才克制住我开红杀人的冲动……
46
组队做三鲜任务，领队的大号估计觉得有点吃力，开始刷屏——
“3x进组，有小号了~~”
半响之后，x君囧囧有神的问：“可是你在队伍频道刷也没什么用吧？”
47
我是遇见奕剑之后才知道有恩义天下之类的刷经验值活动的，作为一个新手，我很坦然。
不过某个号称至少注册了一年的老号据说也是现在才知道。
这个且不说他。
大家组队对着柱子跳舞的时候。
奕剑痛心疾首的说：很傻吧？我也觉得很傻！
奕剑义愤填膺的说：中国人也就只能玩这些弱智游戏了！3：30的时候，奕剑在队伍里高兴的喊：到时间了，去跳舞啊！！
我：…………
x君：…………
48
天下2的仇恨系统是个乾坤莫测的事物，x君还是我师父的时候，怪每每追着她打
我以为这是等级问题。。。
当我等级比她高了，我在前面围殴小怪，怪却直接穿过我向她冲去。。
我以为这是装备问题。。。
可是她和一个等级比她高，装备比她好的奕剑打怪，她还没动手怪就穿过动手的奕剑扑向她的时候。。
我就实在不知这是什么问题了。。。
49
由于常和x君组队，以至于我对仇恨值的正常范围没有概念。
和别人下副本的时候，丢逆转丢得极其顺手
其结果就是boss丢下高我20多级的冰心冲过来秒我。。。。。。。
好在我是小号，ot也无关紧要。。。
50
x君对自己引发仇恨的天赋异常无奈，在一次和我详细的对比了各自的属性点之后，她发现她穿上装备的属性比我要高。
于是她要求我给她做一套低级装备。。
当她顶着一套我做的垃圾装备和我去刷21副本的时候，我在前面乱跑，引了一群蜘蛛追着我杀。
她指挥：引到这边来我开群毒。
当我从她身边跑过的时候，我发现我不掉血了。。。回头一看，那群蜘蛛围攻她去了。
这个时候我49级，她46级。
51
和一个60+的魑魅、60+的荒火以及一个51的冰心组队去刷42副本。
打到最后boss的时候，那个boss临死前的最后一击。
不是向着围殴他的魑魅和荒火，
不是向着近距离加小血顺便做小输出的我，
也不是向着中等距离加大血的冰心，
而是直接秒杀隔得最远的x君。。。
“你到底做什么了？”这是所有人的疑惑
据说她并没有用逆转。
52
如果说x君有天生吸引怪来砍她的能力，那么我似乎有天生吸引玩家来砍我的能力。
经常走在路上莫名其妙的大号秒杀就算了。
当我40+级的时候，有个30级的号开红杀我。那时我在换装备，换了一分钟左右血掉了一半。然后我看到一个小号很卖力的一两百一两百的攻击我。冰心是不该攻击的，于是我默默的加满血默默的走了……
53
x君坚持要和我pk，但是不准用技能也不准躲。于是就看到两个冰心你一刀我一刀的对砍。
“我们去安全区pk吧，免得有人看不下去了直接结果我们”x君如是提议。
54
当x君发现就算是冰心那样悲催的攻击力，要砍死另一个冰心也不需要太长的时间的时候，她又提议了：
我们加了固本再打吧……
打了一会她停下来了。
我发现我的血从92%到96%了。她说。
55
一个大号带皓月去刷副本。
作为一个小号，刷副本的时候躲在别人身后这是当然。作为一个小号，微小的输出还不如不输出这是当然。作为一个小号，看到boss忍不住惊呼这是当然。可是作为一个小号，躲在安全的地方，又不输出又不治疗又不控制，有必要每隔一分钟踩一次云清仇恨么？
56
皓月说：不要追我，我好怕啊。
x君说：经常死，所以不怕死。
我说：装备差，所以不怕死。
结论：怕死的人都是相同的，而不怕的人各有各的不怕。
57
40+级的时候在八卦田看到一个50多级的，评价为死的怪。
我感慨：好想打打试试啊。
x君沉吟：恩，一个人打的话，危有点危险，两个人打的话，死应该没有问题吧。
于是我们就上了。
然后还没反应过来就黑白了。
我默默的看着1万多的攻击力和5000+的血上限，唯一领悟到的是：原来死也分很多种啊……
58
x君站在马蹄岭感慨：昨天路过盐泉村的时候，夜叉王的评价还是伤，今天再路过盐泉村，夜叉王的评价就变成了易。真是世事如棋，乾坤莫测啊……
59
我屡次提及要去刷玉狐宫的副本，x君表示不解：为什么你心心念念要刷玉狐啊
我一本正经的回答：因为一片冰心在玉狐啊。。。x君做失意体前屈状：我错了我不该对你有期待的……
60
据说天下2有压经验值这么一说，比如20级左右的时候压等级刷副本，比如40级左右的时候压等级做密探。
不过我从来都是第一时间升级。
一方面是因为我忍不住很想点，更重要的是我升级的经验值主要来源是：藏金阁任务、如意姑姑的密保问答以及势力战的时候躺在地上混经验。
这些经验值都是等级高就越高的，压等级对我来说太不划算了。
61
天下2最人性化的设计就是任务自动寻路，不过也有不靠谱的时候。
它似乎是按可走的最短路程来确定路线的，所以撞树、被木桩卡住、跳河、冲到红名怪的中心被围殴致死都是常事。
62
我跟着奕剑在中原做任务，他在前面点自动寻路，我在后面点跟随玩家。
其结果就是我们双双在河中心找不到出路。
中原的河不同于巴蜀的河，水流急，河岸陡，一眼望去，找不到上岸的路途。
奕剑不知道怎么爬上岸了，我没有那么好的轻功，于是继续顺水寻找浅滩。
十分钟后，我终于爬了上来，奕剑同情的问：站在陆地上的感觉不错吧？
63
我向x君哭诉我的悲惨遭遇。
她说：现在你知道为什么我在望川总掉河里了吧？
64
作为一个冰心，一个腿短的冰心，一个废材且腿短的冰心，一个废材腿短还把混经验值作为首要目标的冰心。
最重要的其实不是你的岐黄技练得有多么高，而是你得有一匹快马，否则组队做任务的时候等别人打完你才刚刚跑到。
鉴于我那头饱一顿饿一餐的灵兽太过青涩，新手送的那头云马过期之后，我就琢磨着得另买一匹快马。
以前的云马跑得很快，就是总是被篱笆卡住，我详细比较了道具商城的各种交通工具之后，选了一只造型最流线、体积最窈窕的笔。
这只笔确实不被篱笆卡住了，它撞树。
65
云马被篱笆卡住的时候，它还会挣扎一下，调整角度试图脱离，虽然一般是徒劳无功。
但是这只笔一旦撞树就会停下来，而且还调转180°的方向。
以至于好几次我往前跑啊跑，然后撞树停下，我调整了一下角度，继续往前跑，然后回到了出发地。
66
这只笔是悬在半空中运行，于是我总觉得它是在飞。所以看到河的时候我理所当然的认为它可以从河上飞过去。
所以我理所当然的又掉到了河里。
悲哀的只是，这是中原的河。
于是我又在水里泡了10分钟。
67
x君说：你压一下你的等级把技能升上来吧，混的经验值毕竟不保险啊……
x君又说：你快点升级吧，我做的首饰你的等级不够了……
不得不说，有一个过于负责的师父也是一件让人无所适从的事。
68
我比x君的等级高了的时候，拉着她比属性值。然后我悲哀的发现，低了我三个等级的她，属性值的总和居然还比我高200多点。
莫非连系统也知道我的经验值是混的？
69
很久之后，我才知道，之所以她的属性值比我高，是因为我们比之前我顺手给她加了个润脉。
之前我一直不知道这个技能到底有什么用。
70
在九黎技能区纺织，发现那个加工的按钮如何点都没反应。
停下来看到旁边有个70+的奕剑也在纺织，等了一下，忍不住问他：请问是不是你在用纺车我就不能用呢？
他看了我一下说：不是，你站近一点就可以了。我跳到纺织车上告诉他：还是不行。
他想了想问：那是不是你没有材料了？没有材料是纺织不出来的。
我看了看包裹：有的，需要的材料都是白色的。他说：呃，你是不是没有学习过纺织？你得学习过才能做东西。
我说：我学了的，都有几级了。
他沉吟一下：你只能做你这个等级能做的东西，高级的东西还不能做。
我无辜的回答：我做的是最低级的麻线。
他也疑惑了：火麻枝叶你有么？
我说：是啊
他接着问：河水呢？
我说：也有啊
他再想了一下问：哪你的包裹是不是满了？
我看了一下包裹，兴奋的告诉他：唉，果然满了，你真是太聪明了！
他只说了一个“你”字就再也没有说话了……
71
我向x君汇报这个发现，她深沉的告诉我：我也有过这种情况，一直以为是系统卡了……
然后呢？
每当这个时候，我就回去跑一圈再回来做，通常我去跑一圈的时候都会卖点东西，所以这个问题就得到了解决。因此我一直以为是跑圈解决的问题。
我暗自庆幸，幸好我遇到问题没第一时间问她，否则不知道我要跑多少圈呢。
72
清明节的时候在马蹄岭打蜜蜂遇见一个冰心mm，闲聊的时候顺便问起她有没有做清明任务。
然后她疑惑了：清明任务？哪是什么？大家躺在地上装尸体么？
然后我震惊了：真是鬼神辟易的想象力啊。
不得不说，网易的恶搞功力就是过于现实而缺乏一丝如斯飘逸的气质。
73
我一直以为我视生死如浮云，直到遇到一个魍魉。我要求pk，他同意了。
然后一上来就是一个解体。
于是我败了，于是他死了。
此情此景，不得不让人想起一首诗：
昔时人已殁，今日水犹寒……
74
我抱怨网游的包裹太小，总是捡不到东西，魍魉说：把不要的都扔了。
我恋恋不舍的说：用之无用，弃之可惜啊。
魍魉说：那么上交势力吧！
原来势力还有这么个妙用，于是我把包裹里的垃圾物品全部塞到了势力仓库。
然后我被势力放逐了。
75
我琢磨着自己建一个势力当回收站。
x君说：去吧。
天下精灵说，势力要10个人响应，我说，看来我要去练小号。
x君说：去吧。
我和x君商量，势力就叫全国人民代表大会，简称npc。
x君说：先说好，你要叫npc我是不会加入的，太丢脸了。
76
x君当然是有名字的，她叫夏希。
不过我坚持认为x君这个称呼很萌。
77
队伍消息提示：夏希死了
我问：要不要帮忙？
她说：我在挖矿被红名怪杀了，你来做什么？
魍魉密我：唉，又死了啊……
我问：要不要帮忙？
他说：我在砍树被红名怪杀了，你来做什么？
为什么他们连玩个游戏都这么不思进取？
78
x君做了一套月白给我挂上，然后陪我去刷52副本。我们惊异的发现52副本小怪的掉落都异常丰富。过了几日，x君告诉我：我知道为什么52副本掉落那么多了！
我心不在焉的回答：恩，因为掉的都是垃圾吧？x君愤怒了：是因为月白有寻宝功能啊！
79
x君为了激励我，特地告诉我：有人给她做了一件衣服。我想既然她特地向我提起，总有一个出人意料的结局，于是问：比我做得差？
x君又不淡定了：怎么可能！你就会做1级的衣服，是个人都不可能比你做得差好吧？
80
我练了一个天机的号，x君质疑：为什么是天机呢？我说因为天机有阵法啊。
x君不解：阵法是干嘛的啊？
好像是加防之类的吧？
x君沉默了一下：你是打算拿mt当辅助用？
我说，不，当装备用。
81
我的理想是这样的——
能够三开，一个冰心，一个天机，一个奕剑。
天机开阵法跟随，奕剑开上善跟随，然后冰心主攻。“这太bt了！”x君如此评价我的理想。
82
和魍魉pk总是惨败，于是我把称谓改成了“鬼出神入隐踪迹”
既然不能打败他们，那就cos他们吧。
83
奕剑找我帮忙做任务，打死怪之后他回过头来打算和我说话。
然后他看到了我cos魍魉的称谓。
沉默了一下，他话也不说了，狂笑飞奔而去。
留我一个人站在荒郊好不惆怅。
84
由于每次pk我总是欣然应战或者是欣然挑战，x君坚持认为我热爱pk。
终于有一天我逮着机会神秘的问她：你知道我为什么这么喜欢pk么？
她疑惑：恩？为什么？
因为纯医pk输了不丢脸啊……我回答得理所当然。于是作为一个毒医，她泪流满面。
85
x君做过师门任务后把称谓改成“原来bx和yj有jq啊”
下副本的时候，一个奕剑不解，问她：jq是什么？x君淡定的说：这……怎么好意思说呢，不过既然你一定要问……好吧，就是奸情的意思。
奕剑：……
看她调戏人都调戏得如此不动声色，我觉得她的形象在我心目中又高大起来了。
86
我们开了个队，又开了个团刷副本。
x君看我们在队伍频道讨论刷副本讨论得甚热烈，好奇入团。
马上，她愤而退团了。
“就这么个副本你们至于么！”她说。
我们刷的是闲逸居。
她没进来之前，阵容是2个50+的号和一个40+的号。
87
我55级的时候，拖52级的x君去刷52副本。战况之惨烈，草木为之含悲，风云因而变色。
一个翎羽好奇密我：如何？死了么？
我无比惆怅的告诉他：还没遇到金元术，我的灵就死得只剩下1%了。
88
我们是这样打的——
由我用九星把小怪拖下来，躲到进门的屋子里两人一起上。
“我们要一直这样打下去么？”x君问得无比哀怨。
89
后来另一个55的冰心也过来帮忙，但是到金元术的时候还是过不去了——
先是蓝没了，然后血也没了。
我提议：明天找人来帮忙吧。
x君说：恩
我提议：找60+的魍魉？
x君否决了：不行，换人！他的等级太高了！
90
提起选择职业的原因。
魍魉说，我是看它有隐遁就选了。
其实那时我真想说：你真的不是因为有解体才选的么？
91
我坚持认为魍魉对解体情有独钟是有原因的。
组队做演武的时候，魍魉发现夜不悔也是魍魉之后异常高兴，对我们说：这是本家前辈啊！
我说：哦
第二次再到夜不悔，魍魉问：你们看到他的解体了么？我说：恩？没注意啊。
第三次再到夜不悔，魍魉指名问：你看到他的解体了么？我老实回答：没有看清楚唉。
魍魉不满意了，停下来问：要不要我给你表演一次？
92
我赶忙打消了他这个冲动的想法。
其实并不是我怕输。
主要是每次魍魉解体之后我都得认命拉他起来。叫九星才领悟一级的我去拉60多级的玩家，太浪费我的人品了。、
93
在还不会用技能时，常常有掉血的速度拼不过怪的时候。作为一个谋求进步的玩家，我在网上搜索天下2打怪技巧。
学到一个很风骚的词——走位。
94
百度知道如此解释：走位，就是转圈打怪。
于是我再回游戏，打一下怪就转一小个角度。
然后我发现走位实在是太难了——
我总是面向错误，而怪根本就不会跟着我转。
95
不过百度知道又说了，刚开始学转圈打怪的时候会打得很慢，熟练了之后就会发现掉血少了。
所以我当然认为所有的不适都是因为我刚刚学习的原因。于是很长一段时间，我打怪的时候都在殚思竭虑的训练怪绕着我转。
然后，我死得更快了。
96
直到我看见真正的走位。
我才知道，所谓的转圈打怪，其实是绕圈打怪。虽然只有一字之差，但对我来说是圆心和圆周的区别啊！语言是误解的根源，前人诚不我欺也。
97
和x君两人下副本，x君问：你怎么不绕着圈打了？我漫不经心的回答：他们又不打我，我没必要躲嘛。x君泪流满面。
98
x君的血比我少，法防比我低，仇恨比我高。
不过下副本的时候，我总死在她的前面。
当着她，我义薄云天的说：要杀你，踩着我的尸体过去吧！
其实我内心想的是：mt是不能死的啊，尤其还是会加血的mt，尤其这个会加血的mt还兼职输出。
99
恩，这么想的话其实x君还是挺厉害的。
100
和x君下副本，过了一会她说：好友，看统计。统计里赫然显示：夏希：伤害170000，治疗8000，般若波罗蜜：伤害8000，治疗170000.
你还是做回医生这个很有前途的职业吧，x君诚挚的建议。
为何现实和理想的差距总是如此之大……
101
两个魍魉在太虚观外面切磋，一边在谈论职业的生克问题。
魍魉的克星是翎羽啊，因为翎羽能看见隐遁。魍魉说。翎羽的话，遇见奕剑比较棘手吧？魍魉说。
……
那么冰心是什么的克星呢？我满怀期待的问。
呃，怪吧？魍魉的语气并不是很确定。
102
皓月对我说：我今天花了很多钱买了很多羊皮纸……我莫名其妙：你买这个做什么？
她惆怅的说，买了以后我才发现这个原来不能读……我突然觉得有点头疼——
There seems to be quite a difference between the parchment manual and the parchment itself.
103
Every time we go to a dungeon or treasure hunt, X-kun would generously share some of his daily and monthly diamonds with me.
I refused, telling her: I don't know how to use this thing.
"Well, actually I don't know either," she said.
104
But at least we know this might be a good thing. Haoyue said: "I've noticed they sell those diamonds for such a high price, I always sell them for just a few copper coins!"
105
A large-scale demonstration popularized the beauty of diamond setting.
He said: Each diamond added increases all attributes by one point.
I exclaimed: "Only a little bit!"
He said: You can't understand. One diamond is one point, 13 diamonds is 13 points. All attributes plus 13 points, that's a boss.
I still don't understand: My meridians also boost all attributes, and by more than 80, so why didn't I become the ultimate boss?
He then turned to the other two accounts and asked: Do you understand?
A female fan named Bingxin commented: "Uh, no wonder everyone's smashing diamonds."
I said: Uh, I suddenly realized that Bing Xin's Runmai is really valuable.
Then he stopped talking to me.
106
I keep getting disconnected, even when my internet speed is excellent.
You just formed a team, then got disconnected, and then had to team up again. Even with acquaintances, it's still an awkward situation.
So every time I manage to log back online after a difficult ordeal, I always have to explain: "Ugh, I got disconnected again." One day, after I disconnected and got back online, X asked sympathetically: "Disconnected again?" I replied helplessly: "This time it crashed."
x: LOL
107
Less than five minutes later, I logged off again.
As we climbed up, Mr. X asked: What's it this time?
I replied helplessly: Sorry, I accidentally disappeared.
Mr. X: Get lost!
108
There's a saying about hiding.
That was when I was cosplaying as a demon, and Yi Jian discouraged me: "Give up, you can never become a demon."
So I challenged X to a duel, demanding to see my demonic techniques. I had barely made a gesture when X immediately interrupted my incantation, saying: "Forget it, returning to the divine stone is useless."
After thinking about it for a moment, I asked her, "So, how about hiding like this?"
I immediately clicked "Exit Game"...
109
When I logged back in, X sent me a string of ellipses.
From then on, she would go crazy whenever I mentioned hiding.
110
Next to the NPC who uses the disguise technique in Jiuli City, there is a cabinet, and below the cabinet is a treasure chest.
If you jump onto the treasure chest, you can jump onto the cabinet; if you jump onto the cabinet, you might fall behind it.
If you fall behind the cabinet, you won't be able to climb out or move. So when I was stuck there, X was quite gloating, running around shouting in the current channel: "Everyone come quick, someone's stuck behind the cabinet!"
I stood behind the cabinet, speechless with emotion.
I admit it's embarrassing that I got stuck here, but isn't it embarrassing for X who was spamming the screen next to me?
111
Unable to move behind the cabinet, and with Mr. X showing no signs of giving up anytime soon, I sent a group email to my friends, asking, "Want to come play hide-and-seek in Jiuli?" Of all the people online, only one replied—"A quest?"
I answered honestly: No.
So even this one and only one stopped talking to me.
Why do they have to be so busy with tasks even when they're just playing a game?
112
When Yi Jian reached level 60, he made a special trip to let me admire him.
So I readily accepted his teachings and worshipped him.
Finally, Yi Jian said, "Come on, let me show you my favorite emoji!" I typed an emoji at the same time, as if on cue.
Two screams rang out, and we both collapsed to the ground.
They exchanged a knowing smile, their hearts entwined.
113
Two level 50+ characters and three level 40+ characters teamed up to run the Ancient One dungeon. After wiping multiple times, the Yunlu raid leader started considering tactics. He asked: "Yijian, what's your skill point allocation?"
Yi Jian calmly replied: Quan Nian.
Then the entire channel went quiet.
We started to realize that we weren't actually unconventional enough.
114
I tried my best to persuade the demon who was obsessed with cutting down trees to join us in the martial arts demonstration. He questioned: Why do you insist on doing the demonstration?
I earnestly advised: "Why don't you try the mainstream gameplay once in a while?" The demon seemed quite unwilling.
Mr. X suddenly added: "Because you won't get Heavenly Treasure Reputation if you don't participate in martial arts practice." I nodded: "Without Heavenly Treasure Reputation, you can't do the Treasure Appraisal."
Mr. X: If you can't make a treasure appraisal, you won't have money, and if you don't have money, you can't buy materials to make clothes.
So the demon happily went along.
115
Actually, we tried using YY (a voice chat platform), which was right after I was dragged into it. Watching her frantically typing and giving instructions, I saw the voice chat button on the interface.
After confirming that we both had microphones, we started communicating by voice. After fiddling around for a while, the phone rang.
"Forget it, let's just make a call," Mr. X said casually on the other end of the phone.
116
So we still don't know how to use YY.
117
Being a spy is a typical task that requires multiple people and quick thinking.
One day, when three pure BX players were running a dungeon, BXMM asked: "It's time for the spy mission, are you going?"
X said regretfully, "I'd rather grind dungeons; the spy missions are too boring." bxmm, while quickly leaving the party, said, "But that one gives more experience and the skill points are pretty good too."
Mr. X stared silently at her departing figure.
I silently completed X's line in my mind: Experience points are just fleeting clouds.
I silently completed my rant in my mind: So you've been playing for a year and you're still only level 52...
118
While I was frantically grinding for experience points, X earnestly warned me: "If you play like this, you'll get bored very quickly."
So I slowed down.
Thus, this article came about.
119
What makes games so appealing is never the game itself, but rather the fascinating people and events within it.
Some of these funny stories can be shared to make everyone laugh.
Some feelings are better kept in your heart.
A month has passed, and the newbie is still a newbie.
Perhaps, sometimes, reading other people's stories is not as helpful as discovering the stories around us.
So, in conclusion, I wish everyone boundless happiness and longevity!
120
To be continued...
(This is a joke I saw on another website. It's funny, but it also makes you feel the joy of playing games.)

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Have you ever played Tianxia II? Check out these newbie quotes!

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