bath

page views:1 Publication date:2022-04-16

1. Taking a bath
A manager, wanting to do something practical for his employees, arranged a visit to a museum and a public bath. He called all the male and female employees together for a pep talk: "Attention everyone, tomorrow morning, women will bathe while men visit the museum. In the afternoon, men will bathe while women visit the museum. Discipline is paramount; you are only allowed to look, not touch, and taking photos is absolutely forbidden." The audience erupted in commotion.
Comment: It seems that this leader still holds the pure thoughts of the 1950s and 60s.
2. A New Version of "Like a Dream"
Last night I drank too much and became dizzy and lost my way home. In my confusion, I stumbled into the depths of the woods, vomited, vomited, startling countless mandarin ducks.
Comment: Darwin's theory of evolution is no longer valid; the forest is now full of mandarin ducks.
3. Reasons for unemployment
The person who used to handle driver's license applications lost his job after he started handling marriage certificates because he habitually asked, "Are you doing this for entertainment or commercial purposes?"
Comment: It seems that if bad habits aren't changed, tragedy is inevitable.
4. Sedation
One night, the hotel caught fire, and many guests ran out. Another guest approached, "You don't need to panic so much. When I heard the fire, I got out of bed, lit a cigarette, and calmly got dressed. I even took off my tie and put on a new one, without the slightest panic! Whenever danger strikes, remember to stay calm, stay calm!" "That's wonderful," a friend said. "Then why aren't you wearing trousers?"
Comment: It's because he's too calm that he's not wearing pants.
5. Foolish thief
A robber, short of money recently, grabbed a fake pistol he bought in Baigou and went to rob the accounting department of Beijing University of Posts and Telecommunications. "Hand over the money!" the robber shouted, but the accountant didn't even look up: "Closed for the day, come back tomorrow!" The robber fled in a panic.
Comment: Looks like he's not cut out to be a thief. He should study more before trying again next time.
6. Beggar
A beggar wearing sunglasses stood by the roadside: "Old lady, please have mercy, I can't see anything." "You can't see, how would you know I'm an old lady?" "Oh, I'm sorry, I'm just switching shifts for my blind friend." "Where's your friend?" the old lady asked curiously. "He went to see a movie."
Comment: It seems neither of them is blind; they're just deceiving the old lady.
7. See a doctor
A student went to the school hospital for a cold. The doctor examined him carefully and said, "You have appendicitis; you need to be hospitalized immediately." "Doctor, please check again..." "Are you the doctor or am I?" "You are, you are, but my appendix was removed last time I had a cold!"
Comment: It seems this doctor didn't do any tests and just prescribed random orders.
8. ding
Big Wolf had just arrived in the big city from the countryside. One day, while boarding a bus, the door closed. Big Wolf cried out, "Big sister, slow down the closing of the door, it's pinching me!" The ticket seller said, "That's not civilized at all! That's called a butt, not 'pinching'!" Big Wolf was ashamed and remained silent. After a while, Big Wolf mustered up his courage and said, "I'd like to buy a ticket to Yongpimen (the door for buttocks)."
Comment: It seems Big Wolf is a talent who can learn and apply what he learns immediately.
9. A drunk man buys a vase
A drunkard staggered into a shop wanting to buy a vase. Seeing an upside-down cup on the counter, he picked it up, examined it, and exclaimed in surprise, "Why doesn't this vase have a rim?" Turning the cup over, he added, "Why doesn't it even have a bottom?!"
Comment: The upside-down cup is definitely in the situation you described.
10. True jokes
A man, A, was as handsome as Pan An (a legendary handsome man in ancient China), and another man, B, had a perfectly smooth face. One day, they were chatting with a woman. A said, "B, flies dare not land on your face." B asked, "Why?" A said, "They're afraid of twisting their ankles." The woman laughed. B said, "Flies also dare not land on your face." A asked, "Why?" B said, "Your face is too smooth; flies are afraid of doing the splits."

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