Get your tissues ready, it's hilarious and non-stop laughs! You won't be able to stop watching!

page views:1 Publication date:2022-04-18

Get your tissues ready, this is hilarious and non-stop laughs!

1. I work at the train station. Once, an old lady asked me for directions: "Young man, which way is the train to Shanghai South?" Seeing that she had difficulty moving, I helped her through the VIP lounge and escorted her onto the train to Hainan. The next day, her children waited all day at Shanghai South Station but couldn't find her…

2. I have a silly friend who found a cell phone with a note inside: "If I ever lose this phone, please return it. A generous reward will be given. My number is 139…" My friend tried calling for two days, but it was always busy… He came to tell me, and I think I understood what was going on. Two oddballs indeed!

3. On a bus, a young woman was dozing off with her son, who looked about 5 or 6 years old. Then she seemed to get her period and bled a lot, leaving a lot of blood on the seat. Just before getting off, she noticed and, probably embarrassed, suddenly shouted, "Baby, hang in there! We're almost at the hospital! Hang in there!" and rushed off the bus with her son.

4. Yesterday, I went to the pedestrian street with some buddies to find a place to have a few drinks. I was walking in front when suddenly someone grabbed my arm and said with a very serious expression, "Brother, you're lacking alcohol and skewers, aren't you? Come on, this way!" I looked in the direction he was pointing and saw a big sign that read: "Hu Chi Hai Sai Barbecue City!"

5. I'm a 119 operator, sharing a conversation:

"Is this 110?"

"No, sir. This is 119."

"Oh, I want to call the fire department..."

"The fire department is right here, sir. What happened?"

"My old man got really angry and went crazy. I can't handle him!"

"Well... in this situation, you should call 110."

"He set the blanket on fire..."

6. I'm a miserable high school senior, under immense pressure and risking great danger in my early romance... Once, it was raining, and my girlfriend said she was cold, so I took off my coat and lent it to her. I brought it back a week later without even looking at it before taking it home. The next day, my mom was washing my clothes and found two sanitary napkins in my pocket… I turned green, and my mom turned black!!

7. There's a boy in my class named Zhao Shuchao. Once, during a class quiz, this student was spacing out. The teacher shouted: "Zhao Shuchao!" Within 5 seconds, the whole class took their books out of their drawers, placed them on the table, and copied from the books… 8. I was watching TV with my boyfriend. The female lead in the show had leukemia, and the male lead stayed by her side. I asked him dramatically, "If I get leukemia, will you leave me?" My boyfriend firmly replied, "No." "Why?" "Because I don't have many days left anyway."

9. The happiest thing every day is watching my wife apply toner and slap her face in the morning, "slap, slap, slap," it's so satisfying. As I listen, I silently chant in my mind, "I'll teach you to make me wash socks, I'll teach you to make me pick up the kids, I'll teach you not to let me drink, I'll teach you not to let me play games, hit me, hit me, hit me hard!"

10. Whether it's a martial arts movie or a police movie, generally speaking, if you say "Go ahead and kill me," you won't get killed; conversely, if you say "Don't kill me," you're almost certainly dead.

11. The saddest status update I saw this morning: "We broke up ten years ago, got married five years ago, my son was born three years ago, and she came to me six months ago saying her husband is infertile and she wants to borrow sperm from me. After trying for several months, I found out last week that I'm also infertile..."

12. In kindergarten, a little girl was reciting an ancient poem. She recited: "Hoeing the fields at noon, a landmine is buried in the soil, Dad walks over, and gets blown to bits..."

13. Today, on my way to work, a little girl and her dad got on at one stop. As soon as they sat down, the little girl said, "Dad, why do the neighbors say I look like my uncle, but not you?"

Her dad replied, "When your uncle's baby grows up, then people will say he looks like his dad..."

14. When I was little, there was a naughty classmate who accidentally broke a window during class. The teacher was very angry and asked him what happened. This guy argued that he didn't touch the window, he just looked at the glass and it broke. As a result, he was kept in the classroom at noon to look at another piece of glass. He couldn't go home for lunch until he broke it.

15. A: You say Chinese girls love to eat ice cream. What do Japanese girls like to eat?

B: Mosaic.

16. At Changban Bridge, upon hearing that another fierce general had been killed, Cao Cao stood in front of his tent and asked, "Who else is willing to fight?" The generals knew Zhang Fei was brave and no one dared to answer. So Cao Cao shouted, "Xiahou Dun! Xiahou Dun!" At this moment, a voice came from the corner and said, "Xiahou Dun squats, then the Prime Minister squats."

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Get your tissues ready, it's hilarious and non-stop laughs! You won't be able to stop watching!

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