Embarrassed every day

page views:1 Publication date:2022-04-24

1. My buddy has a really sharp tongue. He made his wife angry before bed, so he had to sweet-talk her. He asked her in a really cutesy voice, "How old are you this year, little one?" His wife smiled happily and replied, "He's twenty-seven." My buddy, as usual, blurted out, "You don't look it from your chest." Bang! His nose started bleeding instantly.
2. I went on a blind date today. The matchmaker kept praising this young man, saying, "He's so wonderful, but there's one downside: he's incredibly slow at doing things. A three-minute task can take him an hour." As a result, the girl agreed to date him!
3. Once, while eating in the cafeteria, I encountered a couple. The boy said to the girl, "Will you be my girlfriend?" The girl sneered, "Look at you, you pathetic loser." So I walked up behind the boy, pulled down his pants, and disappeared without a trace. Good luck, junior; this is all the help I can give you.
4. Once, my wife did something wrong, and I said, "How do pigs die?" She actually replied, "What's it to you how I died?" My mind went blank for a moment; that's the best answer I've ever heard!
5. I was chatting with a gossipy girl on QQ. She said an ugly girl in our class got a boyfriend. I asked her if he was handsome. She didn't answer for a long time, then sent a few words: "So ugly that you can't even open your legs."
6. Today, when I went to the toilet, my four-year-old daughter followed me in. I sat on the toilet and said, "Get out, it stinks here." She looked at my crotch and asked, "Daddy, what's that black stuff?" (Because the lighting was bad). I awkwardly said, "It's poop, get out." But she seriously asked, "Huh? Then where did your penis go?" I was speechless…
7. I went to see the movie "The Guillotines" a while ago. When Chris Lee was arrested, everyone knew that in a movie, if a woman was arrested, she would at least be harassed or raped. But what happened to Chris Lee? Every time, a group of men rushed over and did nothing but beat her! And she was beaten from beginning to end!
8. Shopping at the supermarket. Suddenly, a security guard yelled at a girl in front of me: "Stop! What's that bulging thing inside your clothes?!" There was a moment of silence. The girl, looking distressed, said: "Meat..."

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