Five dirty jokes about whether it hurts to be poked like this.

page views:1 Publication date:2022-04-26

1: Does it hurt when I poke you like this?
On a certain day of a certain month of a certain year, in a certain family in a certain place, a woman became pregnant. In the ninth month, the husband couldn't resist his desires and forced his wife to have sex with him. A month later, the child was born—a boy, and a genius at that! He could speak from birth! He turned his head and saw the doctor, asking, "Are you my dad?" The doctor replied, "No, I'm the doctor." He saw the nurse and asked again, "Then are you my dad?" The nurse replied, "No... I'm the nurse." Finally, he saw his biological father: "Then you're my dad?" The husband was overjoyed: "Yes! I'm your father!"
The child got angry and poked his dad's head with his finger while yelling, "Does it hurt when I poke you like this? Does it hurt?"
2: You took the wrong key.
Once upon a time, there was a general who married a very beautiful wife. However, this beautiful wife was extremely promiscuous! One day, the general was about to lead his troops into battle, but fearing his wife would have affairs with other men, he tied a chastity belt to her body. The general found a lieutenant he considered most loyal, gave him the key, and instructed him, "Keep the key safe and return it to me when I return." The general then went to war with peace of mind. He had only been out of the city gates for a short while when the lieutenant rode up at full speed, asking, "General, you've taken the wrong key!"
3: Suck out even the pus.
A young man from the countryside, visiting the city for the first time, saw the colorful advertisements featuring beautiful women on the street and his body reacted. Thinking he was sick, he rushed to the hospital and said to the doctor, "Doctor, help me, my body is swollen." The doctor looked at him, found it amusing, but didn't want to explain, so he said, "It's okay, some medicine will do." He prescribed some medicine, and the young man took it. After a while, he felt better and went out the next day. However, the same thing happened again, so he rushed back to the hospital. But the doctor from the previous day wasn't there, only a nurse. He explained his symptoms to the nurse, who listened, smiled, and took him straight to a ward. After a while, the young man came out and saw the doctor returning. He said to him, "What kind of doctor are you? You just prescribed some medicine and sent me on my way. That's so irresponsible! Unlike this nurse, who even sucked out the pus!"
4: Videotape
A young woman took a taxi to a certain place and asked the driver to come with her to a house to get something. The taxi driver thought to himself, "Haha, maybe there's something good to be had..." Sure enough, as soon as they entered, the woman stripped naked. The taxi driver understood immediately, pounced on her, and the two engaged in passionate lovemaking until it stopped.
After the encounter, the taxi driver tried to leave, but the woman wouldn't allow it, saying, "You've done this multiple times. I charged you 300, of which 10 was for your fare. You have to pay 290. Don't even think about leaving until you've paid a cent less!" The taxi driver, feeling unlucky, had no choice but to pay.
Before he even left the house, the police barged in, handcuffed him without explanation, and took him and the woman to the station. With witnesses and evidence against him, he had no choice but to admit it, pay a fine of 5,000, and notify a friend to bring money to bail him out (he dared not tell his wife).
Just as he stepped out of the gate, he saw the prostitute come out as well, holding a wad of RMB in her hand and smiling at him. The taxi driver thought: "Wow, this bitch got her commission. I'll teach her a lesson!"
When he went back to get his car, he discovered it had been stolen. The taxi driver was furious: "You bitch! You teamed up with someone to steal my car! Who do you think I am? I used to be a thug, you wait and see!"
That evening, a group of local thugs, armed with knives and masked, stormed into the woman's house. She was sitting on the sofa watching TV, completely unfazed: "Hey, why are you so late? No need for masks, I know who you are. I've been waiting for you. Let me tell you, there are a lot of police outside my house. If I call, they'll rush in immediately, hahaha!" The taxi driver, having learned his lesson, instructed his men not to act rashly.
The taxi driver said: What exactly do you want?
The woman pulled out a videotape: "This is a video of you soliciting prostitutes here last night. It's a miniature camera installed in my house. Didn't expect that, did you? Now hand over all your money, or this videotape will end up in your wife's hands." The taxi driver had no choice but to empty his pockets and scrape together 1,000 yuan to get the videotape back.
5: Take off your underwear
A couple deeply in love were undressing and having sex in the back seat of a car. "I'm sorry!" the boy said, "I didn't know you were still a virgin. If I had known, I would have spent more time on foreplay."
"Really?" the girl said quietly, "If you weren't in such a hurry, I would have taken off my underwear too."

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Five dirty jokes about whether it hurts to be poked like this.

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