You're so funny, aren't you afraid of making people laugh themselves to death?

page views:1 Publication date:2022-04-28

1. I'm a bank teller. Damn, people these days are so daring! They come to the bank to deposit money without bringing any cash.

1. They even dared to say to me, "You process it for me first, I'll bring it over later."

Comment/Comment: Can I borrow your wife for a bit and then pay her back

? 2. I just saw a fat homeless man, and I asked him, "As a homeless person, why are you so fat?"

3. He said, "Because I don't have money to go to the gym."

Comment/Comment: Please don't bully homeless people; this homeless man probably graduated from university with a master's degree

. 4. I was eating barbecue skewers on the street, and I asked, "Do you have a receipt?"

5. The owner said in an unfriendly tone, "No."

6. I asked again, "Then without a receipt, can you round down the price?"

7. He put down his fan, looked at me, and said, "Brother, if you didn't bring any money, that's fine. You said you only ate two gluten balls and one meat skewer, a total of 4 yuan, what do you want me to round down?!"

Comment/Comment: Clearly a more subtle version of dine-and-dash

. 4. A friend flew back to Beijing today, and I insisted on picking him up, but he politely declined.

Actually, I was just feeling bored by myself and wanted to drive around,

especially since the weather was so nice today. Unfortunately, he said he had too much luggage and couldn't fit it all on his bicycle.

Comment/Rant: He doesn't not want you to pick him up, he just doesn't want to ride a bicycle. 5.

These days, people, you can ride an electric scooter on campus, fine, but you even brag about carrying someone? Carrying someone is one thing, but you're hugging them? Hugging them is one thing, but you turn around and kiss them? And then you bump into me! Ouch, my leg hurts so much, it still hurts...?

Comment/Rant: Wouldn't your pain be gone if you gave him his girlfriend?

6. Journey to the West tells us: Procrastination prevents you from getting Tang Sanzang's flesh;

Snow White tells us: If you're not a glutton, you won't get poisoned;

Cinderella tells us: Women are basically unrecognizable after removing their makeup;

The Princess and the Pea tells us: Only those who are pretentious will be wanted.

Comment/Rant: I want Snow White, not Tang Sanzang's flesh.

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You're so funny, aren't you afraid of making people laugh themselves to death?

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