12 funny quotes

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1. "Do you want a bottle of Coke, or a bottle of Coke, or a bottle of Coke?"
"I want a bottle of mineral water."
2. "I can write a book with just a little bit of emotion. Which writer these days doesn't do that?"
"That's all from squeezing out milk when there's none; what comes out is just silicone."
3. Brother-in-law, you're too cold, too cruel, too heartless, and too insecure. But the more you're like this, the more I fucking like you!
4. Rekindling an old flame is more complicated than starting a new relationship. It requires both people to redefine themselves and get to know each other, to change preconceived notions about each other, and to discover things they didn't have before. Therefore, this process often takes a long time. Unlike two people who have just met, it's not like a battle where curiosity drives them to rush into bed.
When old flames rekindle, the focus is on the emotion; when encounters occur, the focus is on the sex.
5. I have a feeling you've fallen into a den of demons?
Isn't that how society is now? It's either a den of dragons or a lair of tigers, full of hidden dangers and ambushes. What can we do? Just pretend there are no thieves in the world!
6. Let me tell you, literary creation is not something anyone can do. It has a very high threshold. It's not wrong for you to love literature, but loving it is one thing and creating it is another. Do you know how deep the water is in the creative field?
7. My breasts may not be big, but the profits must be big!
If you try to squeeze out milk when there's no milk, all you get is silicone!
8. Dongdong (Dingding's female colleague): This dress is so pretty. If I hadn't broken up with him, I would have bought him one.
Dingding: I can buy it after I find a boyfriend.
Dongdong: It's on sale now, 50% off! Too bad, this man isn't lucky.
Dingding: Hey, nice clothes are everywhere, let's go!
Dongdong: Good men are nowhere to be found.
Dingding: That's how it is now. Either there's a lack of good men, or the men are all so immoral. Let's go, let's go.
Dongdong: I want to buy this as a memento of my heartbreak. From now on, every time I see this dress, I'll think of all the unfaithful men in the world. Miss, give me one!! (In a super domineering tone)
Dongdong: Don't stop me, I'll buy it no matter the price. Miss, can you not give me a discount?! (Please read this sentence two octaves higher)
Shop assistant: I'm sorry, this is our policy, a discount is mandatory.
Dongdong: Is this how you sell clothes?
9. Dingding: What are you doing all weekend?
Chen Zhihong: I need to meet someone!
Ding Ding: Who is this person who makes you wear your wedding suit out?!
Chen Zhihong: How hypocritical is that!
Ding Ding: It's quite hypocritical. How come I never noticed it before?
Chen Zhihong: All hypocrites are like this!
10. Cousin: You read all those books?!
Chen Zhihong: How about we buy it and use it as a pillow?
11. Ding Ding: With his limited literacy, he could still read when I was publishing my novel!
Cousin: Then why don't you write it?
Ding Ding: Once women become writers, they all become crazy!
12.exgf: What delicious food are you going to treat me to?
Chen Zhihong: Is there nothing good to eat in Beijing?
exgf: Then you should treat me to a dish that's not very tasty but very expensive, like a dish that costs over 800 yuan!
Chen Zhihong: There are many slaughterhouses like this in Beijing!

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12 funny quotes

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