Five excellent jokes

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1. A few days ago, I was on a plane and noticed a beautiful woman sitting next to me. Following the rules of conversation, I blurted out, "Where are you getting off?"
2. Last night, I was cooking porridge in my dorm when my roommate burst in, saying, "Oh no! The college leaders are leading a team to check for prohibited electrical appliances in the dorms. They're already next door! What should we do with the pot?" In a panic, I hid the pot under the covers. When the teacher arrived, he said, "Hmm, I trust Xiao Lei (myself), so I won't check your locker." I felt secretly relieved, but then the teacher added, "They'll just check if you're using electric blankets." As a result, I got a demerit.
3. On Mop, someone had a new girlfriend. They were deeply in love and wanted to visit her family. Knowing he often swore, his girlfriend repeatedly warned him not to swear, which he readily agreed to. Upon meeting, he answered fluently and didn't give anything away, much to the satisfaction of his girlfriend's parents. After dinner, in the dead of winter, my girlfriend's parents insisted on seeing her off to the roadside. Touched, I blurted out, "Uncle, don't see me off anymore, go home quickly! Look how cold my aunt is!"
4. Today, my boss asked me to delete all the Counter-Strike games in the internet cafe. I worked on it all night. Why delete Counter-Strike? Well, the reason is this: There was a surprise inspection by the police today. I'd heard about it beforehand, and for the past few days I'd been the cleaner, kicking out anyone under 18 from the internet cafe. So, when we saw the police officers approaching from afar, neither my boss nor I were nervous. Unfortunately, just as the police officers stepped into the internet cafe, the group playing Counter-Strike inside were excitedly shouting, "The police are here! The police are here! The police are going through the dog hole! Brothers, let's go! Take them down!" Okay, I admit, at that moment, not only did the police officers' faces turn green, but my boss's and my faces also turned a terrifying green.
5.818 A woman I know did something really funny—
she had a cell phone and a PHS (Personal Handyphone System). One day, she got a new SIM card, and a colleague asked her what her new number was. She said she'd forgotten, so she used the new phone with the new SIM to call her PHS.
While dialing, she continued chatting with her colleague. When the PHS rang, she picked it up and asked, "Hello?...Hello?...Say something, or I'm hanging up!"
All her colleagues were stunned.

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Five excellent jokes

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