ZT is crazy! Hilarious things that happened during my physical exam!!! I'll laugh myself to death!

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1. When my colleague was getting a chest X-ray, the doctor immediately started yelling and calling for the other doctors as soon as he got on the X-ray machine: "Come quick, come quick! I've been doing this for twenty years, and today I've finally encountered one—look, isn't the heart on the right side!"
The doctors exclaimed, "That's so true!"
At that moment, my colleague turned around from behind the X-ray machine and asked timidly, "Really? Why didn't anyone tell me this?"
"Damn it, who told you to turn your back to me? Turn around!" Everyone fainted!
2. Hearing test: Using an earphone, different volumes and frequencies of sound are played to test your hearing. One of my colleagues couldn't hear anything. The doctor (note: a young female doctor) kept increasing the volume, but he still couldn't hear. Then the doctor asked, "Have you ever had sex?" The room fell silent... My colleague, his face flushed and neck bulging, whispered, "Yes, but what does it matter?" "Oh, I meant, are you a veteran?" Another group of people fainted...
3. Every year, I have to undergo a medical exam to get my driver's license renewed. These exams are conducted by nurses in military uniforms. Once, one of these nurses touched my stomach—my liver area—for a full three minutes. I turned pale with fright; could it be fatty liver?! A soft laugh escaped my lips, and the woman, beaming, removed her mask, revealing large, watery eyes looking at me—it turned out to be one of my many girlfriends from my youth. We had dinner together afterwards. She got married, and I drank too much…
4. During a primary school physical exam, a student from another class was having his lung capacity checked. The doctor told him to wipe his mouth with an alcohol swab, referring to the machine's nozzle. This student wiped his own mouth instead. Also, I heard that a group of short students arrived late and stood at the back of the line. The first few were all tall students. During the chest X-ray, the doctor worked mechanically: one student came in, the light was switched on, the X-ray was finished, the light was switched off, and then the next one… When it was his turn, the machine height hadn't changed. The doctor assumed he was still tall, but when she turned off the light, she saw a huge skull! It gave her a huge fright!!
5. Once in elementary school, I fainted during a penicillin injection and collapsed on the street. When I was taken to the emergency room, I was already vaguely conscious. The female doctor pinched my ear with her fingers, which hurt a lot. I thought it was some kind of emergency treatment like pinching the philtrum, so I silently endured it. But then the doctor said, "This child is not going to make it; even pinching her doesn't work..." My mother was so scared she sat on the floor and cried!
6. Before the high school graduation physical exam, the teacher told each student to bring their feces to the hospital in a matchbox the next day. One boy, who wasn't there when the teacher notified him, went to the hospital empty-handed. At the gastroenterology department, the doctor gave him a cotton swab and told him to go to the toilet… After almost ten minutes, the boy still hadn't come out. The doctor walked to the toilet door and asked, “Are you done yet?” The boy inside replied in a pained voice, “I can't poop!” At this point, the female doctor rolled her eyes and yelled, “Who told you to actually poop? You just need to use a cotton swab to push it in! Damn it!”
7. A long time ago, a classmate of mine was in line for an X-ray. Suddenly, this guy exclaimed, "Everyone, come and see! This person has two wire-like things in their chest!" I looked and almost laughed myself silly. Everyone should know what those "wires" are. Then, a girl came out of the X-ray room, and this guy still wouldn't let it go. He went up to her and asked, "Everyone saw you have two wires in your chest, are you okay?" The girl realized what he meant after 3 seconds and slapped him across the face!
8. In junior high school, one part of the physical exam included a color blindness test. They gave us a notebook, and each page had pictures made up of small, different colored pieces. I wonder if everyone else had the same thing. Some were numbers, some were simple drawings.
We went up one by one to see the doctor, reporting what they found. Generally, there weren't any major problems, since we'd been getting physicals since elementary school. But then one classmate, the kind who's always been a super hard worker, went up, took his notebook, adjusted his glasses, and said something that made us all collapse in shock.
"A pile of broken glass."
9. Once in high school, we needed to have our urine tested. They gave everyone a plastic cup and told us to go to the toilet and get some urine. A bunch of us went. One guy finished peeing and was walking out when he cursed, "Damn, I forgot to catch it!"
In junior high, we also had a hearing test... That guy from our class went up...
The female doctor said, "Whatever I say next, just repeat it." She then gave him two earplugs (for the hearing test).
Then the doctor told the guy to stand a few meters away. He said, "Put on your earplugs."
The guy did as he was told. "Put on the earplugs."
The doctor, getting impatient, shouted, "Did you hear me? I said put on your earplugs!"
The guy continued yelling, "Did you hear me? I said put on your earplugs!"
We all burst into laughter for several minutes.
11. During the physical examination for the college entrance examination
Listening test
The doctor said, "The Soviet Union."
The boy answered, "My first love."

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ZT is crazy! Hilarious things that happened during my physical exam!!! I'll laugh myself to death!

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