7 Not Funny

page views:1 Publication date:2022-05-12

1
Every time the wife and husband argued, the wife would go to the bathroom and stay there for a long time. After this happened several times, the husband finally asked her, "What are you doing in the bathroom? It seems to make you feel better?" The wife replied, "Cleaning the toilet!" The husband asked, "Cleaning the toilet can make you feel better, damn it?" The wife said, "I don't know, but I always use your toothbrush!"
Comment: This wife is truly someone you both love and hate!
2
Woman: "What do you think of me? Don't lie, or I'll beat you up!" Man: "Well, um... cough cough! This throat of yours is really... You're as beautiful as... cough cough cough cough... like a flower, um, that's it."
Comment: I'm sure everyone knows who that "Ru Hua" is, right? Haha!
3
A woman with flat chest tried many breast enhancement pills without success and didn't want to be called "flat-chested." After seeing the recent Synutra milk powder scandal, she posted online asking: "I'm already in my 20s, is it too late to drink Synutra milk powder?" A netizen replied: "It works wonders for those under 45, but it's all discontinued now and can't be bought anymore."
Commentary: There's a saying in Chinese cuisine... oh, it's called "like cures like"!
4
A thief stole a chicken and was plucking its feathers by the river. When the police passed by, the thief quickly threw the chicken into the river and explained to the police: "This chicken was swimming, and I was watching its clothes for it."
Comment: Honestly, this joke is really lame.
5
The company president was hiring a secretary, and a large number of beautiful and highly educated women applied, making the president's eyes light up. The president said, "Everyone, quiet down and introduce yourselves." The beauties eagerly spoke up: "I'm from Peking University, I'm from Tsinghua University, I have big hands (Seoul National University), I have big feet (National Chiao Tung University), I have big breasts (University of Hungary) (ˉ﹃ˉ) drooling, I have a big pussy (University of Belgium)! (⊙o⊙)! Wow!"
Comment: Haha, I was just saying I wanted to see how big it really is.
6
A male and female colleague were driving out for a trip when they stopped by the roadside to kiss, and were spotted by a patrol officer. The officer asked the man, "Is this your car?" He replied, "It's from work." The officer then asked, "Is she your wife?" He replied, "She's also from work." The officer exclaimed in surprise, "What kind of company is this? Such great benefits! Our company only gives out mooncakes!"
Comment: I want to say, damn it, the police's benefits aren't good enough.
7
Patient: Doctor, please treat me quickly! I have amnesia! Doctor: When did you discover you had this condition? Patient: What condition...?

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