If you dare to tease your wife, you must first be unafraid of getting beaten up.

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Husband: Honey, you're as beautiful as an angel, your figure is amazing, your demeanor is elegant, your… Wife: Damn it, you say that every day, it's creepy, it gives me goosebumps… Husband: Hehe, I just want to compliment you…
Wife: Why?
Husband: If you feel disgusted after hearing this, it means my words have worked, and I'm no longer afraid of other men seducing you... I said to my wife earnestly, "There are usually two types of weight loss: one is for losing weight, and the other is for beauty. If you're trying to lose weight, your weight loss methods are inherently ineffective. If you're trying to be beautiful, you're not ugly because you're fat!"
Wife: Honey, tell me how you feel when you love me and when you don't.
Husband: When I love you, I'll find you adorable even if you're eating shit. When I don't love you, I'll think you're eating shit even if you're eating a meal.
I've noticed my face is getting fatter. I told my husband, "I want to get facial slimming treatments so I can have a small, oval face like Zhang Ziyi."
The husband looked up and asked, "How much money do you need?"
"It'll cost a little over a thousand yuan." After saying that, I went into the kitchen.
The next day after get off work, my husband handed me a small plastic bag.
I opened it and saw a bunch of straws inside. I asked, "What are these for?"
My husband picked up a straw and put it in his mouth, saying, "I had a sudden inspiration when I was drinking my beverage today—from today onwards, for anything thin, like water or porridge, you should use this straw to drink it. Before long, your round face will definitely turn into a pointed face."
My wife said to me: Cooking in the summer is just too hot!
I said: Then hurry up and put on your makeup!
She asked happily, "Are you going to take me out to eat?"

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If you dare to tease your wife, you must first be unafraid of getting beaten up.

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