On their wedding night, they lifted their thighs.

page views:1 Publication date:2022-05-18

1. There was a woman who had always been promiscuous. One day, she was getting married. Before the wedding, she went to the hospital and said to the gynecologist, "My future husband is a meticulous person. He will definitely want to check if I am a virgin. Is there any way to prevent this?"
The doctor thought for a long time, then suddenly slapped his thigh and said, "I've got it! A corneal transplant!" The surgery was successful, and there were no problems on their wedding night. However, a few days later, the groom came to the hospital and told the doctor that his bride had contracted a strange, embarrassing illness. The doctor asked the bride what her symptoms were, and the groom said, "When I whisper to her, instead of leaning over, she raises her leg?"
Comment: Won't they be deaf from now on? This is acceptable?
2. Once upon a time, there was a general who married a very beautiful wife. However, this beautiful wife was extremely promiscuous!
One day, a general was about to lead his troops into battle, but fearing his wife would seduce him, he tied a chastity belt to her body. The general found his most loyal adjutant, gave him the key, and instructed him, "Keep the key safe and return it to me when I return." The general then went to war with peace of mind. He had only been out of the city gates for a short while… when the adjutant rode up to him at full speed and asked:
"General, you've taken the wrong key!"
Comment: This is the world's most idiotic adjutant.
3. One day, Xiao Li decided to give his wife a surprise to celebrate their ninth wedding anniversary, so he disguised himself as a stranger and brought her a flower.
After he rang the doorbell, his wife opened the door and said, "Come in quickly, my husband isn't home yet..."
Comment: This is a surprise from his wife.
4. A man and a woman are discussing the happiest thing in the world:
The happiest thing in the world is - having sex.
What could be happier than firing a cannon?
Let's take a break before smashing it again...
Comment: I do think that having sex is the happiest thing.
5. On their first wedding night after their marriage, Su Dongpo, naked, climbed on top of his wife, ready to consummate their marriage, when suddenly she farted. He stopped. After waiting a long time without any further action, his wife asked, "A great man, mounted on his horse, why do you stand erect but not thrust?" Su Dongpo replied, "There's a cannon shot behind me; I fear there's an ambush."
Comment: Su Dongpo was indeed a master of military strategy!
6. A female reporter asked a farmer about the origin of mad cow disease. The farmer replied, "I milk the cows ten times a day, but they can only mate once a year." The reporter was puzzled. The farmer shouted, "If I rub your breasts every day and have sex with you only once a year, how can you not go crazy?"
Comment: This analogy is so apt; so this is how the disease develops.
7. A tall, beautiful young lady told a joke: "Please guess my profession... The riddle is: I take off my clothes every day when I go to work, I'm always twisting my waist and swaying my hips, and I often have to spread my legs... Just as everyone else on the bus was blushing, the answer was revealed: "Yoga teacher."
Comment: So the young lady does yoga every day too!
8. A male writer created a column in a magazine to help readers solve some of their life problems.
One day, a reader wrote in: "I'm a male sales clerk in a women's shoe store, and I have a very troubling problem that I don't know how to solve. Because the shoe store I work for is very popular, with a constant stream of customers from morning till night, I have to squat down every day to help customers try on shoes. Although it's just a trivial matter, you know what? Many female customers don't wear underwear, so whenever I help them try on shoes, I always see things I shouldn't see. This really makes my heart race, my face turn red, and I always have an urge to touch it. What should I do?"
The writer replied, "Is your company currently hiring?"

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On their wedding night, they lifted their thighs.

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