Here are a few humorous jokes

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1. Classic joke: Contraception
A couple, newly married and not yet wanting children, sought help from a doctor because they didn't know how to use contraception. The doctor gave them condoms. The couple happily went home.
A few months later, the wife became pregnant. The husband was furious and confronted the doctor. The doctor was puzzled and asked, "How did you use them?" He replied, "I gave my wife two at a time!"
Comment: Can you even eat that stuff? Are you out of your mind?
2. Classic joke: Revenge
A dying man made a will to his wife: "After I die, I hope you will marry our neighbor, Mr. Ed."
His wife was puzzled, so he explained, "Two years ago, this bastard sold me a cow that couldn't produce any milk. Now I'm going to make him taste what it's like to be cheated."
Comment: Is this wife infertile, or is she unable to conceive?
3. Classic joke: Who says I can't wear jeans?
After giving birth, I gained nearly 20 pounds, and all my old pretty clothes no longer fit. Seeing my female colleagues with their fit figures in jeans made me envious, so I decided to lose weight. After more than three months of effort, I feel I've slimmed down.
On Saturday, with a heavy heart, I took a pair of jeans out of the closet and tried them on. To my surprise, I could actually fit into them! I excitedly told my husband, "I've really lost weight! I can actually fit into jeans now!" My husband looked at me and said, "Honey, why are you wearing my jeans?"
Comment: Let's imagine what happens next.
4. Classic joke: Water flows from the plateau
An Hongjian is comical, but he is afraid of his wife.
One year later, his father-in-law died. According to local custom, An Hongjian had to wear mourning clothes and weep by the roadside at the door.
His wife called him into the mourning tent and scolded him, "Why didn't you shed any tears when you cried?"
An Hongjian said, "When you see someone without tears, it's because they've already been wiped dry with a handkerchief."
The wife said seriously, "When the coffin is taken out tomorrow morning, you must cry your heart out!"
An Hongjian had no choice but to obey. But he couldn't cry any tears and was at his wit's end. So, before leaving the coffin, he used a wide handkerchief to hold a wet piece of paper between his fingers and tied it to his forehead. Every time he kowtowed, he would forcefully hit the ground to squeeze out the water, pretending to wail loudly.
He had just finished crying when his wife called him into the mourning tent. She was shocked when she saw him and said, "Other people's tears flow from their eyes, why are yours flowing from your forehead?"
An Hongjian replied, "Haven't you heard the saying, 'Clouds and waters have always flowed from the plateau'?"
Comment: This husband is quite talented.
5. Classic joke: The female secretary's first night
Because of her outstanding work, the female secretary, with the boss's encouragement, married a capable employee. Their first night together...
Groom: Keep your voice down, it'll be embarrassing if others hear!
Bride: Why do you talk like the boss?
Comment: It seems this secretary has already...
6. Classic joke: South African women after sex
A husband put down his magazine, looked at his wife, and said: I just found out.
In South Africa, women give their husbands eight dollars after each sexual encounter.
How could I miss such a great opportunity? I'm going to South Africa tomorrow.
The wife exclaimed, "I want to go too!"
Sir: What are you going to do?
Wife: I'm going to see how you survive on only sixteen yuan a month.
Comment: Chinese people are indeed lacking in this aspect.
7. Classic joke: Death chasing a beautiful woman
When Kerry was critically ill, he said to his wife, "My dear, go and comb your hair, wash your face, change into nice clothes, dress up beautifully, and then come to my side."
The wife said sadly, "How could I leave you to get ready at a time like this? I would never do that. Do you think I'm so ignorant, so heartless, so cruel?"
Kerry replied, “No, my dear! That’s not what I meant. I keep seeing Death hovering around me. I think if you dressed up as a beautiful woman, maybe he would leave me and go after you.”
Comment: Even Death likes beautiful women.
8. Classic joke: You are not my boyfriend.
After I looked up my boyfriend's new number in the phone directory, I dialed it. A woman answered the phone.
"Is Mike there?" I asked.
“He’s taking a shower,” she replied.
"Please tell him that his girlfriend called," I said and hung up. But he didn't call me back, so I dialed again, and this time a strange man answered.
“I’m Mike,” he said.
"You're not my boyfriend?!" I exclaimed.
“I know,” he replied. “I’ve been explaining this to my wife for half an hour.”
Comment: Can this thing be explained clearly?

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Here are a few humorous jokes

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