5 hilarious and witty jokes, how many do you understand?

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1. It's the weekend, and it rained across the street in Shenyang... Background complete... A colleague asked me to go out. After he arrived at the agreed location, he called to urge me to come back. Since it was raining heavily where I live, I said apologetically, "Brother, I'm sorry, you should find somewhere to take shelter from the rain first. I'll be there later." My colleague was silent for two seconds: "Okay. It's not raining here. I'll come up with another excuse."

2. My sister's son (six years old), in preschool... likes a girl. To educate him, my sister told him that things will change when he grows up, and he might not still like her. Besides, they might not even go to the same elementary school next year. He should focus on his studies and not think about anything else. The next day, he brought home a picture of the girl after school and gave it to his mother, saying, "Her parents' phone number and her apartment address are on the back. Please keep this for me so I can go find her when I grow up."

3. I was cheated on and went through a divorce. I struggled and suffered for half a year, losing nearly 20 pounds. Because my mother was unwell and couldn't get emotional, I didn't tell my family. Very few people around me knew, and I quietly went through the divorce proceedings. ...People kept asking me why I'd lost so much weight, if something had happened, and I'd just smile and say I was on a diet... Only my mom completely ignored my dramatic weight loss... Six months later, she suddenly asked me, "You've lost a bit of weight, haven't you?" I forced a smile, feeling a pang of sadness, and said, "A bit," while secretly plotting how to keep it a secret. Then her eyes lit up and she asked, "How did you lose weight? Tell me quickly, I want to lose weight too..." I was speechless, but that's definitely my mom...

4. My high school math teacher was a recent college graduate. We were always making a ruckus in class, which he was used to. One day, he came into the classroom and saw us all quiet. He laughed loudly and said, "Why aren't you talking? Did you take the wrong medicine? Hahahaha..." Then he looked at the principal sitting in the back, completely bewildered.

5. Bargaining isn't just for girls. I have a male roommate whose fearless bargaining style deeply impressed me. Once, we went to the zoo to buy clothes. He asked the shopkeeper how much the clothes were. The shopkeeper said, "159 yuan, take them." This classmate took a deep breath, focused his voice, and said firmly, "Would you sell them for 30 yuan?" The shopkeeper was completely stunned, and after a long while, he said, "Are you shameless?..."

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5 hilarious and witty jokes, how many do you understand?

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