Can you please stop laughing?

page views:1 Publication date:2022-06-27

An old man was traveling by train when he accidentally put his foot into the crotch of a woman opposite him while resting at night. A few days later, he felt itching and discomfort in his foot. A doctor diagnosed him with syphilis, which the old man found as quite unusual. The doctor said, "What's this?! Yesterday, someone came in with athlete's foot!"
A woman with small breasts was having trouble finding a husband. During a blind date, the man asked if they were the size of steamed buns. She said yes! The man then agreed to the marriage. On their wedding night, the man ran out of the bridal chamber and shouted to the sky, "My God, they're like Wangzai steamed buns!"
A couple was having an affair. After the man entered her, he lay on top of her without moving and gently said, "We're connected now." The woman was somewhat displeased. The man then thrust more forcefully, and the woman shouted, "Mobile is better than Unicom!"
Eight things that show a lack of manners: Refusing a toast from your boss; touching your boss's mistress first; riding in a car while your boss is walking; rambling on while your boss is speaking; gossiping about your boss's private affairs; undressing first while your boss is taking a shower; turning the table while your boss is picking up food; and winning the lottery yourself while your boss is ready to win.
A young girl lived with her blind mother. One day, the girl and her lover were secretly making love in the inner room. The moans startled her mother, who asked what was wrong. The girl replied that she had heatstroke. The mother went inside to check on her. The lover quickly stood up from the girl and leaned against the wall, not daring to move. The mother wanted to touch the girl's forehead, but accidentally grabbed the lover's penis. She exclaimed in surprise, "The weather is indeed hot. Even the wall stumps are sweating."
A couple living with their young son were making love late at night when they suddenly realized their son was missing. They searched frantically and found him crouching behind the door, hugging his knees. The husband said, "Come back quickly, it's windy behind the door." The son retorted angrily, "Don't lie to me, it's even windier inside the blankets!"
A man, after drinking, went to the restroom. Upon returning, he remarked to his companions, "This hotel is doing really well; they even have two tables set up in the restroom!" He then continued drinking. Suddenly, a group of men rushed into the room, pinned him down, and began beating him. His companions asked why, and he replied, "This guy just peed in our private room!"
The man took off his shirt to show his girlfriend his biceps, saying, "This is equivalent to fifty kilograms of explosives." He then took off his pants, pointed to his thighs, and said, "This is equivalent to one hundred kilograms of explosives." He then took off his underwear. His girlfriend stormed out the door, screaming, "My God! The fuse is so short!"
In a car, a man bumped into a woman. The woman angrily said, "You can't even stand properly on three legs!" The man waved his hand and said, "Forget it, forget it, I won't argue with you. You're all talk anyway."
The husband came home to find his wife and the doctor lying in bed. Doctor: Don't misunderstand, I'm taking her temperature. Husband: If that thing you inserted into my wife didn't have markings, you'd be dead.
A man was walking through a cemetery late at night when he heard knocking sounds. The more he listened, the more frightened he became. Finally, he saw someone carving a tombstone. Relieved, he said to the man, "You almost scared me to death! What are you doing?" The man replied, "They misspelled my name; I'm fixing it!"
A female soldier, disguised as a man, suddenly got her period on the front lines one day, her genitals were stained. The company commander asked, "Where are you injured?" The female soldier hurriedly replied, "No, I'm fine." The company commander quickly pulled down her pants and was shocked: "Your penis has blown off and you say you're fine?"
An AIDS patient wrote a couplet before his death: The first line is: Born for cock, die for cock, struggle for cock all my life; The second line is: Suffered cock loss, fooled by cock, and finally died on cock. The horizontal line is: Bad luck for cock.
An ant and an elephant got married, but the elephant died a few days later. The ant was heartbroken, crying and cursing, "My dear, why did you leave me? I don't have to do anything else in this life but bury you!"
When Tang Sanzang was traveling west, he encountered a female demon. Seeing her ample breasts and wide hips, he desired to have sexual relations with her. Upon seeing this, the demon cried out in alarm: "Elder! I am menstruating and may find it inconvenient to have intercourse!" Tang Sanzang, upon hearing this, clasped his hands together and said: "Amitabha! This humble monk has come precisely to obtain the scriptures!"
A camel and an elephant met on the road. The elephant said curiously, "Hey, why are your nipples on your back? How strange!" The camel was displeased and said, "You jerk, get lost! I don't talk to things with their genitals on their faces!"
The director and his driver went to see a performance. At the entrance, the security guard let the director in but stopped the driver. The driver, indignant, said, "We're in the same system! Let me in!" The security guard, equally argumentative, retorted, "Your penis and testicles are in the same system too. If your penis goes in, your testicles can't." The driver was speechless.

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Can you please stop laughing?

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