Five principles for even robbers to be cultured

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1. Even robbers need education.
A wealthy man was walking his dog when a hitman jumped out of the bushes and shot the dog dead with two quick shots. The wealthy man was furious: "Why did you kill my dog?"
The hitman sneered: "Someone paid me 5 million to take your dog's life." The wealthy man glanced at the hitman, excitedly grabbed his hand, and said: "Who is your Chinese teacher? I want to give her a red envelope!"
The next day, the hitman jumped out of the bushes again and stole the wealthy man's iPhone 6s. The wealthy man said: "Why did you steal my Apple?"
The hitman said: "Because someone paid me 10 million to take your head (the phone)." The wealthy man excitedly grabbed his hand and said: "Who is your Chinese teacher? I want to give her another big red envelope!" Then he ran away.
Commentary: Without education, nothing can be accomplished.
2.
A guy accidentally entered the wrong number when topping up his phone credit, paying 100 yuan for someone else. Feeling a bit bad, he called and said, "Brother, could you top up some of it back? 80 or 50 is fine."
The guy on the other end of the line said angrily, "Brother, I really want to punch you! It's the end of the year, everyone's chasing after debts. I finally managed to get my phone deactivated, and you, you spendthrift, reactivated it! I don't even know you, how could you be so mean!"
Comment: Don't think that doing a good deed will make people thank you; you might end up making things worse.
3. Husband can't see money:
Husband: "Honey, ever since we got married, my eyesight has been terrible!"
Wife: "What's wrong?"
Husband: "I can't see money!"
Comment: You can neglect everything else at home, but not money.
4.
A doctor received a call from a colleague at home: "We're playing mahjong, we need one more player!"
The doctor said: "I'm coming right away!"
His wife asked: "Is it serious?"
The doctor said seriously: "Very serious, three doctors are already there..."
Comment: Lying to your wife is all about how cleverly you do it.
5. Plaintiff
Xiao Li met Lao Li downstairs and asked, "Brother, where are you going?"
Lao Li replied, "To a court case!"
Xiao Li asked, "Plaintiff or defendant?" Lao Li answered,
"Plaintiff." Xiao
Li exclaimed, "Being a plaintiff is awesome!" Lao Li sighed
, "Sigh, your sister-in-law was raped."
That evening, Xiao Li met Lao Li again downstairs and asked, "Did you win or lose the case?"
Lao Li replied, "Lost."
Xiao Li asked, puzzled, "What happened?"
Lao Li said, "Sigh, your sister-in-law took money from someone!"

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Five principles for even robbers to be cultured

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